Happy O-nniversary!

Today marks one year since Tha O Show released its debut CD, OBLIVION! Tha Indy Wrestling Album. In celebration of this special occasion, Tha O Show proudly offers an exclusive mp3-only version of this acclaimed project.

Out now is OBLIVION! Tha Indy Wrestling Album (Special 1 Year Anniversary Edition). Available for just $9.99, this version of the album includes all 16 original entrance themes PLUS six bonus cuts.

This package includes ALL three theme songs for Tha O Show created thus far AND some O-chestra classics including "Guzzlah", "Buss Juice", "(Don't Want No) Hairy Pussy" and the extended version of "Thick And Nice (Ode To Lufisto)"!

That's a total of 22 cuts!

This mp3-only version of the album will be available for a limited time only. Here is the entire track listing:

1. Tha O Show Theme 2008
2. We'll Probably Kill You! - The Flatliners' Theme
3. The Ultimate - HHV's Theme
4. Bow To Your Saviour - Sebastian Suave's Theme
5. You're Dead! - The Notorious T.I.D.'s Theme
6. RICO! - Rico Montana's Babyface Theme
7. Girl Dynamite - Jennifer Blake's Theme
8. E.O. (Wrestling Personified. - Eddie Osbourne's Theme
9. The Handsome Genius Club Theme
10. Built To Destroy - Hayden Avery's Theme
11. Tha Prescription - Dr. Mask's Theme
12. Oh My Goddess! - Persephone Vice's Theme
13. Secta De Uno - Rico Montana's Heel Theme
14. Mr. Everything - Lance Malibu's Theme
15. Fangin' & Bangin' - Vampire Warrior's Theme
16. Legendary - Tribute To "Dangerboy" Derek Wylde

Bonus:
Tha O Show Theme 2007
Tha O Show Theme 2009
Buss Juice
Guzzlah
Thick And Nice (Ode To Lufisto)
(Don't Want No) Hairy Pussy

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Tha Classics Part 8

I was recently thinking about one of the best Royal Rumble's that ever happened. There have been a ton of memorable moments and stories that have led to good Wrestlemania moments. The best Rumble for me has got to be 1993's Royal Rumble. This Rumble had not only the largest amount of superstars but some really good feuds were coming to a head.

This Rumble started with that Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers match I covered before in the very first Tha Classics I posted. This match is what I say is the best tag team wrestling match I have ever seen. If someone asked me “What is tag team wrestling?” I would play that match for them. Even though the commentary didn't work for whatever reason with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan it didn't take away how good it was. This is the match with the best Frankensteiner ever executed.

The next match was Shawn Michaels aka HBK versus Marty Jannetty aka Not HBK. This match was the culmination of the “Barbershop Window Incident.” Mind you, this was pre-internet. As far as I knew at the time dirt sheets were what my cousin made when he pissed the bed. I had no idea that HBK was gonna kick his partner in the damned face and toss him through a window. He literally kicked the popularity out of Jannetty! Besides being a great way to keep this feud going this match makes you miss Sensational Sherri and the role female managers played when they were on their A game. I had no idea which way Sherri was gonna turn during this match.

The next match was Bam Bam Bigelow versus Big Boss Man. Uh...that happened. I seriously cant even remember this taking place.

Next up was for the WWF Championship with Bret Hart defending against Razor Ramon. Damn, Razor was a dick during this time period! He was fucking around attacking Owen (this was when getting hit with a trashcan ended with stretchers arriving on scene), trash talking Bret during matches and interviews. This match was just about as good as their match at the first King Of The Ring. Second Sharpshooter attempt. Pah! Ya done, son! Bret retains and I cheered like a little girl because he was Bret was my hero at this time.

Next Bobby Heenan brought out his latest wrestler, “The Narcissist” Lex Luger! I was like “That's...just Luger.” I was never a huge fan of his particularly since my brother could easily apply the damned Torture Rack to me whenever he pleased. Sitting eating cereal? Torture Rack. Going to take a leak? Torture Rack. Crying because I was put in the Torture Rack? Torture Rack. The shit was endless. So, yeah. The best part about this is looking at what was defined as hot in the 90's when they zoom in on chicks in the audience and Heenan's damn near fainting as he begs Luger to disrobe. Remember Chris Master's long ass entrance? Okay. No imagine it time twenty. I guess it worked though. 20 years later and I recall it better than Bam Bam and Boss Man's match.

Now it is time for the Royal Rumble! Apparently this was the first time where winning equaled a shot at the belt. I had cleaned the entire damned house for this moment. The match starts off with Bob Backlund and Ric Flair in the ring. Yeah. That is how this damned thing starts! How can I even make a comparison for younger readers? That would be like Undertaker and The Rock starting the Rumble in 2014. I guess. I don't know who you kids like nowadays. Heath Slater? Fandango? But seriously, I like Fandango. Not as a wrestler since a diving legdrop is ass. But the whole dancing shit makes me laugh. Back to the match!

This match had Virgil getting his revenge on against Ted DiBiase. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) beginning to break up. Giant Gonzalez showed up and tossed Taker around like a ragdoll. Even as a child I thought his outfit was ridiculous. So no Taker for the Rumble. Now anything could happen. Hell, Fatu could be fighting for the belt!

Here are some of the names that were involved. Papa Shango, Rick Martel, Tito Santana, Carlito's dad Carlos Colon (when he came to the ring I was like “The hell is this guy?!”), Owen Hart, IRS, Jerry Lawler, Koko B. Ware, and Mr. Perfect. And of course Macho Man Randy Savage!

He and Yokozuna were the last two men in the ring and from what I remember Macho was the first person to ever take Yokozuna off his feet. He headed up to the top rope, delivered the elbow drop, and...went for the pin? What?! Yoko benchpressed him off his chest and over the top rope! I was furious! I seriously thought that he was gonna find some way to get Yoko over the top rope and win it.

I have included a link RIGHT HERE to the Rumble if any of you wanna share in my joy. Wear shades though. Bob Backlund has some very white legs.

Click here to follow me on Twitter.

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Tha Classics Part 2

Back in the day before the internet was good for anything (they say its existed for years but come on…) when someone showed up in wrestling you didn’t have any warning. They just appeared and either you said “Hey, I just saw this guy on ESPN” like I did with 123 Kidd or you remembered them from WCW, USWA, or whatever. No spoilers. No twitter updates about it. Hell, the dirt sheets came out every few months so by the time someone debuted it was old news.

So when Goldust showed up with his vignettes I didn’t know what to think. I had seen flamboyant wrestlers. I had seen strange wrestlers. I had seen creepy wrestlers. But at this point in my poor childhood I had never seen someone combine all three of them. Not since Goldust has anyone made a vignette that made me go “What the hell is this guy about?!” He made me feel uncomfortable. Yeah. That’s the best way to put it. Goldust made me feel uncomfortable.

When he made his Raw debut against Savio Vega who was just on episode 177 of Tha O Show he didn’t even use his finisher. He worked Savio’s arm most of the match and use it in a pin that could not be kicked out of. When I was younger I thought it was a kinda lame way to debut but as a grown ass man it makes perfect sense.

His feud with Razor Ramon at The Rotal Rumble was so cool. Watch Goldust in the corner before the match starts! Sending telegrams to the ring for Razor. Drawing a heart on his chest with Razor written in the middle When they finally hooked up that match was awesome for the commentary alone.

I cant believe that all these years later he still wrestles. People like to talk about who is overrated and who is underrated. Goldust is underrated. This guy has gone through so many different changes to his look, he left for WCW and became a new character, he popped up in TNA as someone else, and seamlessly appeared back in WWE looking to be in better shape than he has in years. Goldust can make me laugh, make children cry, or make parents do a whole lot of explaining later on.

Though I grew up liking far more technically sound wrestler, Goldust will always hold a special place for his all out strangeness. Click here to watch his match against Savio, here to watch some of his vignettes, and here for his match versus Razor Ramon.

In the words of my late brother.

"Thats fucking Dustin Rhodes?!"

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"Tha O Show Theme 2011" Is Out Now!

"Tha O Show Theme 2011" is FINALLY available for sale!

The recently remastered track written and produced by Dan-e-o and featuring Voodoo Drew of So Sick Social Club on guitar is now ready to be downloaded for just 89 cents in Tha O Show's online store!

Buy "Tha O Show Theme 2011" NOW!!

And while you're at it, pick up some other O-some classics like "Guzzlah", "Buss Juice", "Buss Juice (Part 2)" and "Thick and Nice (Ode To Lufisto)"!

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Tha True Definition Of A Mark

I would love it if the caption for this photo appeared somewhere and read “Two Of The World’s Greatest Lyricists Finally Meet”. In truth, the more appropriate caption would read “Legendary Hip-Hop Icon Big Daddy Kane And His Biggest Mark”.

As I mentioned on my Facebook status (imagine me, actually updating that shit!), I’m not too cool to admit when I’m a huge mark. Of course, I’ve been accused by many members of Tha Nation of O for being a mark. Most often, for my remarks about dudes like Santino Marella.

But straight up, there is no wrestler, not even the Hulkster himself (okay, maybe Hulk) who I mark for more than my favourite M.C.’s. And Big Daddy Kane is my favourite of them all.

I can guarantee you that no one else in the capacity crowd at The Phoenix Concert Theatre in Toronto last night had memorized as many of Kane's lyrics as I had. I nearly lost my voice performing every single song myself.

Now, I became inebriated with hip-hop at the age of ten. Almost immediately after becoming a fan, I decided that I had to try emceeing myself. Within two years, MC Rock D (ha ha! yep, that’s right) became "Dan-e-o". Within that same two years, I got my hands on pretty much any and every hip-hop record or tape I could find.

I loved none more than Big Daddy Kane’s 1988 debut Long Live The Kane. Including undisputed classics like “Raw”, “Ain’t No Half-Steppin’”, “Just Rhymin’ With Biz” and my favourite song of all time, “Set It Off”, this album taught me how to rap. More importantly, it taught me about the type of rapper I wanted to be:

A lyricist. A rapper focused on spittin’ the best damn lyrics possible. Wordplay, punchlines, metaphors, multi-syllabic rhyme patterns. All part of Big Daddy Kane’s repertoire. And now part of mine.

By the time I was 13, I was on a Toronto dance show called “Electric Circus” winning a contest with a song entitled “Can’t Test Me”. This song - my attempt to replicate the sheer ferocity of Big Daddy Kane’s lyrics on “Set It Off” - won me free tickets to an LL Cool J concert and the chance to meet him in person.

LL is dope and all (even if he did rip off my debut 1996 single “Dear Hip Hop”), but he’s no Big Daddy Kane in my books. Upon meeting Kane, the mark that I am had to let him know that the first track on my 2000 The Book of Daniel album was a homage to “Set It Off”. Using the first verse from “Can’t Test Me” that I wrote as a 13 year old, the track “Prologue: Set It Off/Can’t Test Me” is my official “thank you” to Big Daddy Kane.

Last night, I was able to thank him in person. By the way, I owe HUGE props and a debt of gratitude to O-ster and concert promoter Shawn “Drop” Holland for making it all possible.

Now while I’m sure that I’ll incur the wrath of gay jokes worldwide from O-sters, this is one time where I just don’t care. In the words of our boy Emmanuel Melo, I’m a mark…and proud of it.

It’s been discussed on Tha O Show before that professional wrestling seems to be the only industry where fans are literally made fun of or looked down upon. Hence the term “mark”, which originally was meant for those fans who think the wrestling they are watching is a real fight.

To me, a “mark” is someone who truly loves and has a passion for the piece of entertainment that he or she is following. Our wrestler bredrens say it all the time. Wrestlers are the biggest marks of them all. Who else displays more passion for the business than someone who literally busts his ass for it?

I’ve done what I feel is the same thing in the hip-hop world. Anyone who knows me knows that I love nothing more than to write, record, release and especially perform music. I get no bigger rush. Nothing is more satisfying (besides the obvious). I am indebted to those who have paved the way for me, inspired me and created the incredible music that has truly shaped my life.

I’m not above asking for a picture or an autograph. That being said, I remain eternally grateful to the number of fans who posed for pictures with me and bought my CDs off me last night. Sometimes, in my markdom, I forget that I’ve put out music that people like too. Huge thanks to all my fans who were at the show last night. You guys inspire me as well.

Because of you guys, the only CD I had available on me to give to Big Daddy Kane when I met him was my last copy of The Book of Daniel. Worked out perfectly, I guess, considering that the first song on it is pretty much dedicated to him. By the way, huge shout out to Scoob Lover (a.k.a. Johnny Famous), Kane's long time dancer and cohort who I also had the pleasure of meeting last night.

So call me a mark and make fun all you want. I can’t be brought down from this high. Believe me, I’m working steadily on getting a track done with Kane. I truly believe though, just like the Ontario wresters that we steadfastly support here at Tha O Show, that you SHOULD be a mark to achieve success in your given field.

I teach in my “The School of Rap” workshops across Toronto the concept of feeling a great sense of pride in the work that you do. To be a fan of your own music and the music that has come before your own is imperative to visualizing your success. If you can’t find it worthwhile to BUY someone’s music, how will you able to convince someone else to BUY yours?

I’m thankful that I grew up in an era when hip-hop was fuckin’ unbelievable. I feel sorry for the ten year olds and young teens of today who have to turn the radio on and hear complete bullshit excrete out of it. No matter what, I will continue to work diligently to make what I feel is good music and teach the younger generations to do the same.

I feel that I owe it to them. And I owe it to legends like Big Daddy Kane.

Check out:
www.officialbigdaddykane.com
www.defianceentertainment.com

By the way, O-sters may be interested in knowing that I also had a backstage...confrontation...with one, Choclair. Let's just say that Chocs has agreed to address the on-air call out I gave him weeks ago on a future episode of Tha O Show! Stay tuned.

UPDATE: The magic of YouTube brings you to last night's concert already!:

Nuff Respect

Raw

Ain't No Half-Steppin'

I Get The Job Done

Platinum Plus

Warm It Up, Kane

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Tha Classics Part 6

Back in 1997 to me there was nothing hotter in wrestling than when Raven arrived in WCW. I had heard of him from wrestling magazines since I didn’t get ECW at the time. When he popped up sitting in the front row I was like “Finally! I get to see this guy wrestle for once.” Little did I know that I was speaking way too soon. I also didn’t know that I had seen him in WCW years ago under a different name, Scotty Flamingo. Yeah, turned out this was the same guy!

Raven was an free agent and would just chill in his seat as they tried to get him to sign. Eventually he started gathering The Flock. The standout members were Billy Kidman who became just Kidman. Perry Saturn (another I hadn’t gotten a chance to see in ECW at the time). And the biggest shock was Scotty Riggs who became Riggs. Raven tried to get him to join The Flock and after being droptoe held onto a steel chair and losing an eye he eventually joined. yeah, there were other guys like Lodi, Reese, Sickboy, and Horace but I didn’t care about them.

Raven had some awesome feuds with guys like Diamond Dallas Page, Chris Benoit, and Bill Goldberg. Damn, the Goldberg feud was amazing! Not sure if many young fans even know it but at one point crowds booed the shit out of Raven whenever he came out. No music for a while. Just his introduction and climbing into the ring and sitting in the corner. Sometimes he wouldn’t even wrestle. He’d grab one of The Flock and chuck them into the ring instead.

Back to Raven versus Goldberg for a second because I want to point something out. Listen to that crowd. How often do you hear crowds like that during a wrestling match anymore? Not never. Unless its HBK or John Cena or someone. When Raven had the US Title and faced Goldberg the crowd was electric. I know that term gets thrown around a lot but in this case its more than appropriate. Held under Raven’s Rules, which meant that anything goes, you knew The Flock would interfere.

At this point Goldberg was 74-0 during his streak. One of the most shocking things about this match was the fact that Raven did a damned dropkick in the opening minute of the match. I don’t want to sound like I’m some kind of professional in terms of wrestling besides watch it for almost 30 years, but damn Raven sells like a machine! When he gets tossed into the guard rail I thought he was dead. At one pint Raven tried to leave and ends up getting tossed back towards the ring from the crowd!

Many point out the New World Order and the appearances of WWF/WWE wrestlers showing up as shocking or cool moments. Mine was when Raven showed up and made me love wrestling even more than I already did at the time. CLICK HERE to watch his match against Goldberg.

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Tha Classics Part 4

It started years ago when I was a little Stinger. I was a huge fan of Sting in WCW. I was aware of his old tag team with The Ultimate Warrior but never caught their matches. To me Sting was the man. His matches with Ric Flair, Lex Luger, Cactus Jack, and Vader were just awesome. From his wild face paint to his crazy ass jackets he wore to the ring, Sting was what I imagined wrestlers were supposed to look like.

One day when my brother brought his TV home after having it repaired we plugged it in just as Nitro was ending. What we saw shocked the hell out of us. Sting was attacking WCW members! I was way too surprised and my brother said “That wasn’t Sting.” It wasn’t as if he had some insider information. The internet was still useless at this point and the sheets came out every other damn month. He was just in denial just as I was.

Sting was disowned by all the WCW wrestlers and vanished for a while. Eventually he returned looking very different. Gone was the flamboyant face paint I was used to and flashy jackets. He now had black hair and The Crow-like face paint and hung in the rafters. No longer screaming and pounding his chest this new Sting just watched as the New World Order picked apart the company from the luchadores all the way to the top guys.

Then one faithful night Sting fought back. I freaked right the fuck out when he dropped from the ceiling and started wailing on Hall & Nash and Macho Man with his bat. Oh, the bat! Sometimes Sting would land with his hands free and pull that damn thing out of nowhere. At this time he also debuted his new finisher, The Scorpion Death Drop (reverse DDT). What followed over the next few weeks was more of the same. Each Monday Nitro would end with the New World Order cheating and jumping someone only for Sting to drop from the ceiling (or cutting his way through the ring) and beating the hell out of everyone.

There was nothing like waiting the entire show for the closing minutes where Sting would take on a dozen guys and drop them all. Sometimes he didn’t even use the damn bat. He would just lay them out with chops, kicks, and Death Drops. I miss that level of excitement I used to get watching one guy.

Click here to watch Sting’s return and here to watch him beating some ass before Nitro ends.

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Tha Classics Part 5

I cant believe its been almost 20 years since The 123 Kid beat Razor Ramon on Monday Night Raw. This was when I used to bust my ass to get a chance to watch Raw and hope that my parents fell asleep. I also hoped they paid the damn cable bill so I got a chance to check the show out. As soon as I heard the sirens I knew I was gonna be entertained for the rest of the evening.

There was this skinny ass dude that would wrestle. I had seen him on ESPN and watch him get his ass beat on WWF. This was back in the day when they would feed guys to superstars every week and it was awesome. Nothing like seeing The Legion of Doom add a little extra stank on the Doomsday Device on a rookie. But one week something special happened.

The Kid won.

Not only did he win he beat fucking Razor Ramon! The Bad Guy himself got beat by this clean shaven, small guy on national television! This was when the crowd was so close they could touch the wrestlers as they came to the ring. Even when they announced The Kid he wasn’t even on camera rocking his sweet mullet.

Razor, during the match, gave one of the loudest fucking chops I have ever heard that will make your balls jump into your stomach. After a mistake by Razor The Kid lands a moonsault and gets the pin. The place blew its top! I couldn’t believe it even happened! This guy who got beat every week and changed his name every week beat Razor fucking Ramon?! It was almost too much for my young mind to bear. I bet at this moment many future smaller wrestlers said “If he can do it…”

As we all know The 123 Kid aka Cannonball Kid aka Lightning Kid aka Kamikaze Kid aka Syxx aka X-Pac aka Syxx Pac aka Sean Waltman went on to join some of the toughest and most popular groups in wrestling The New World Order and Degeneration X. This dude still has a lot to give in wrestling and even almost 20 years later is still one of the fastest guys in the ring. Click here to watch this classic match.

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Tha Classics Part 3

Another classic from the vault meaning I had to clean the entire house to order the pay per view. This match is actually from the first ever King of the Ring. This was by far the best KOTR and had some really good match ups. Sadly the last match between Bret Hart and Bam Bam Bigelow was not my favorite. But this is about the best match on the card, Bret “Hitman” Hart versus Mr. Perfect.

This match had a great interview before it started that had Bret and Perfect arguing over whose dad was the better wrestler. At this point it wasn’t mentioned very much that Larry “The Axe” Hennig was Perfect’s dad in WWF but knowing that his dad was once a famous wrestler (which after the internet I finally was able to research the guy) made this an instant gotta see match.

At this point in the PPV Bret had already battled Razor Ramon in a great match in which Razor stomped on Bret’s fingers which he sold throughout the PPV. And Mr. Perfect got a by when Mr. Hughes was DQ’d after using The Undertaker’s urn. The match started fast with Bret slapping every form of a headlock on Perfect. Now don’t have your eyes glaze over just yet. Have you ever seen Mr. Perfect get headlocked? He fucking goes flying when he’s taken down! I love it!

At one point Perfect sends Bret into the toolbox at ringside and I remember thinking that Bret was dead. I wasn’t used to that kinda stuff at the time. After recovering Bret worked on Perfect’s leg in preparation for the Sharpshooter. There’s this thing that Perfect does that I love. When he’s holding the ropes and gets his leg kicked he flips upside down and its just the damnedest thing. Whenever either of them go for a pin its no lazy pin. Its like “Stay down!” pins and frustration when they kick out. Throughout the match Perfect sold the leg injury and at one point he grabbed Bret’s fingers to get him to break a hold. Fucking awesome.

Macho Man, Bobby Heenan, and Jim Ross called this match and did a great job. The way they bounced off each other was good and no one felt like a guest commentator. The match ends with a small reversed small package. No Sharpshooter which was surprising and cool. After the match they shook hands and Bret went on to win the first King of the Ring (no, I am not counting the older ones like Harley Race and Jim Duggan). This is one of my favorite matches ever.

Click here for the first part of the match and here for the second.

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Tha Classics Part 7

Its so weird to me that something that took place in 2001 can be considered a classic. But when I started doing these posts I chose ten years as the cutoff period for something to be called one because there are kids watching where some of this information is new to them. Are there ten year olds visiting this site? What a scary thought. Recently I was talking to a co-worker about Michael Cole and how strange he looked in a singlet when I brought up the time Stone Cold Steve Austin whipped his ass.

Now, this wasn’t your regular Stone Cold ass whipping. This was the kind you used to see when you were little. You know those times when a kid would do something really jacked up and their mother would show up and go bonkers on them in front of everyone? Yeah. That. Where at first you instigate it, then you laugh when it starts, then cheer, then quickly feel uncomfortable. Comedian Bill Burr once talked about seeing a kid get his ass kicked in school and the way he described it like “Yay, oh, ugh…!”

Back in 2001 Austin was buddying up with Vince McMahon and Cole had accused him of making a deal with the devil and that he didn’t like Austin’s chances in the upcoming pay per view. With Paul Heyman doing commentary with Cole Austin strode to the ring to confront him. Heyman ran away so fast it made a sound. What followed was the most uncomfortable ass kicking I’d seen in a while. Hell, till this day it still makes me feel the same way!

Now mind you, this wasn’t the Michael Cole that we all know today. The one that trash talks and was one of the most hated men in WWE. This was poor skinny Michael Cole that wore mom jeans and was a respected announcer. Sorta. I never had a problem with the guys skills. Austin starts with slaps and shit talking and it escalates to Cole on the ground having his shirt ripped off and having his head stood on. Even the crowd that was bloodthirsty and cheering ended up booing Austin. I think this was the incident, not him beating Lita with that chair, that solidified him as an evil son of a bitch.

Nowadays guys want to be cool. No one wants to look like a bitch. But Cole took this ass beating and didn’t lift a finger to try and defend himself, making him seriously sympathetic. I know it sounds weird to say this, but I wish more guys got ass kicking’s like this. I also wish guys could give ass kicking’s like this today. The last time I recall seeing brutality like this in WWE was when Nexus attacked Raw which of course is what led to Daniel Bryan was fired for.

Click here to watch Cole getting beaten.

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Tha Classics Part 1

I miss tag team wrestling. No this isn’t going to be an article about how bad tag team wrestling is nowadays and how teams are slapped together with guys that they have nothing better to do with but wanna keep employed or on TV. No. This is the first in a series of matches from my childhood that made me love wrestling.

I’m starting with a match featuring The Steiner Brothers versus The Beverly Brothers. This match will be good for anyone that has never seen the Steiner’s in their prime and only know Scott Steiner as Big Poppa Pump. It also shows what great bad guys The Beverly Brothers were. Damn, I hated these guys. This match showed off the best of both teams and had a great finish.

I know I don’t have to say it but goddamn I miss Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon on commentary! This pay per view, which I have on VHS as a series of shows I had to clean the house to order, was well worth it. Royal Rumble 1993 was a cool ass show, y’all.

I forgot how well The Steiner’s were at getting crowd reactions. I have included a link to the match for anyone that hasn’t seen it or haven’t seen it in years. And in case you’re wondering, calling it right down the middle is none other than Bill Alfonso. The Beverly Brothers, Bloom and Enos, had me cracking up with their love for each other. I feel like a kid again when I watch these matches. It reminds me why I feel in love with wrestling and why I got so emotionally invested in matches.

Click THIS LINK to watch this match and let me know what you think about it. Also, if any of you have any recommendations let me know. If this goes well I will continue to cover more of what made me fall in love with wrestling. The end of this match still makes my balls jump into my body.

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Tha Classics Part 9

Back when I was around ten years old I was sitting at home watching an episode of Superstars on a Saturday morning as I usually did. On this particular episode I had my mind blown by a situation involving John Tenta also known as Earthquake. This was back in the day when the audience barely brought signs and the only time fans were brought into the ring was when Ted DiBiase would offer money for things (fact: a young Rob Van Dam was one of these fans and kissed some sweaty ass just wrestled feet for a hundred bucks) or when Rick Rude would jam his tongue down some woman's throat.

So The Ultimate Warrior, Dino Bravo, and Jimmy Hart are in the ring doing what was cool back then but makes me groan now which were tests of strength. Tests of strength, pregnancies, and weddings never work out in wrestling. Now, in my house you were either a Hulk Hogan guy or a Warrior guy. My oldest brother was a Warrior guy as well as me, so when Hart called this big ass dude into the ring to sit on the back's of Bravo and Warrior we knew Warrior would win because fuck you its The Ultimate Warrior. This guy could do anything.

So this guy, John, gets on Bravo's back and I'm shouting “He isn't sitting all the way! He's cheating!” “Mean” Gene is there in the ring and everyone is amazed. Next it was Warrior's turn. John gets on his back and then just drops! I get all emotional and shit channeling my inner Jim Ross. “Oh, my god! He's been broken in half!”

Next comes the beatdown of Warrior, Okurland bounces out the ring not even trying to offer help, and a young me is wondering why security is letting this fat dude out of the audience beat up a wrestler. “That's not fair! There's two of 'em!” I'm shouting and my brother is just shaking his head probably wondering why he decided to share the gift of wrestling with me.

Next thing you know this guy from the crowd gets a name and outfit and becomes Earthquake which made me smile because I was born and raised in Los Angeles. His finisher is a simple leap into the air and dropping all his weight on someone laying in the ring. Sounds lame by today's standards but so does Hogan's legdrop. Its all about who is doing it. In this case it was a large Canadian man.

Earthquake went on to have a pretty good career. Lots of non-wrestling fans actually know of him as Earthquake and will ask what happened to him. He sadly passed away from cancer a few years back but will always have a place in my heart as the guy that traumatized me when he jumped onto Jake “The Snake” Roberts bag, squashing his snake Damien. Seriously. 

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10 Years Without Perfection

As a wrestling fan we’ve grown accustomed to young deaths. I know that sounds harsh but it’s the honest truth. But once in a while there’s a death that really gets to us. Curt “Mr. Perfect” Hennig was one for me. I had grown up watching him since he had short, curly hair and a stocky build. It was years later when I was able to watch his old AWA stuff where he was known as “Cool” Curt Hennig. He eventually went to the WWF of course and went on to have amazing feuds and matches Bret Hart.

In one of my first Tha Classics posts I mentioned their match at the first King Of The Ring as one of my favorite matches of all time and it still is. Click here to read that post that contains links to that match. You can hold that match up against your best PPV match in the last 15 years and it’ll still stand strong. As the late great Macho Man Randy Savage says “This is a class match.” Hell, their match at Summerslam was incredible when you know that he had bulging discs in his back and was leaving soon.

Hennig would stop wrestling, become a great commentator, come back to wrestling, head to WCW and join The Four Horsemen, New World Order, The West Texas Rednecks, WWE, and then TNA. And the scary thing is that he didn’t lose a step. He was still in great shape even after all those years. You can watch him hanging with Stone Cold and Rob Van Dam who are arguably two of the best at what they do.

I don’t wanna sound like I’m some kind of insider or anything, but when you think of someone selling a move the first person I think of is Mr. Perfect. Watch any match with him and you will see him making guys look amazing by taking a punch and flying away, being kicked in the leg and flipping backwards (a move his son Michael McGillicutty is now doing), and struggling to get out of submissions. Watch a match nowadays when someone is in a submission move. They lay there refusing to tap until the crowd gets bored. Perfect would fight to get out of headlocks like a wolf with its leg in a trap.

It sucks that he died. It sucks even more that its been ten years. Hennig was one of the most entertaining wrestlers to ever step into a ring. Thankfully there is a stockpile of great matches featuring him. They aren’t hard to find and almost all of them are good. I cant vouch for anything he did in TNA. Did I mention that he once did the Perfect Plex on The Big Show/Giant? Well, he did! Watch this if you wanna shart yourself.

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Tha iMPACT Playback

So Lockdown has come and gone and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Samoa Joe has long been heralded as one of the very best in wrestling. Be it the Indies or be it wrestling in the big two. Agree or disagree I don’t think anyone is unhappy that he’s wearing the belt.

The upcoming promise of Scott Steiner and Samoa Joe may or may not have you excited. I for one am, because I’ve seen their work together on house shows from a year or two ago. I think it could be another classic. But that’s a discussion for a later date. This is Tha iMPACT Playback.

The way that TNA gave the opening highlight package from Lockdown before the opening iMPACT package was very nice. Hell they played up the video highlights from Lockdown that were the best possible ones to make those that didn’t see Lockdown think it was a very good show. Good move on the part of the guys in the truck.

Now if TNA were a traveling company, at least for iMPACT, I have a feeling that when Joe’s music hit and he made his way out he’d have gotten a mega pop. It’s always hard to gauge pops in the iMPACT Zone, but that one was pretty damn good.

The way Joe keeps putting the fans into his promos, like tonight, “We are the champion,” makes me think that they may just run with him as an uber-face, not a tweener as he usually is. Putting over Angle didn’t bother me, because let’s face it, Kurt can go when the situation calls for it. Joe-Angle IV called for it, and Angle delivered.

You know if nothing else, putting the belt on Joe, albeit late, speaks highly of what TNA does. They do listen to their fans…sometimes. Joe has been a guy that was over from the word go, and now he has their big belt. Good for TNA. If the E would strap Punk then we’d have the two men involved in RoH’s 60 minute classics as the champions for both big American companies.

I wasn’t too disappointed with Scotty Steiner on the mic this week. I would say not at all, but then again he said, “Little Petey Pump.” Give him a better gimmick name. I’m tickled shitless Petey is back on TV full time, and I don’t even mind the Definition of Definition, Maple Leaf Muscle gimmick. Just don’t call him Little Petey Pump, it kinda sounds like something an old man uses.

Joe and Steiner should be a classic, but with Joe vs. Angle next week, I smell a triple threat at Sacrifice for the title. I did pop for Angle telling Steiner that his last big win was against the Road Warriors in 1975 with his idiot brother. It’s the little things that win you over. I just wonder how Angle-Joe V will be on free tv? I know I'll be watching just to find out.

You know though, with Petey as Steiner’s flunky, and Joe and Angle in the mix, why not have Petey wrestle Joe one week and Angle the next to warm them up for Steiner? It’d be a nice way to give him an extra rub, and it could add a little to the X title that’s been lacking as of late.

Speaking of lacking as of late, what’s wrong with putting the title on Devine? I understand that at this point with the Steiner storyline Petey benefits greatly by having his belt, since Steiner gave him that briefcase back. I guess I’m hoping that Devine can take the strap from Petey or hell anyone really, down the line.

The very money in the bank-esque way that Petey won the X title from Machismo appeared to be a shot at the WWE, or a blatant rip off. Either way I didn’t mind the way it went down, or actually I didn’t mind it all, but the mark in me hoped that Devine would be getting a run with the belt.

Anytime that Hermie Sadler calls a match it’s great. Even though he sounds more southern than most, that means the emphasis isn’t just on Tenay and West, and that's what makes it great. We all know that Don West isn’t that good on commentary, so any addition is a big addition, be it Frank "Dont call me Kurt Angle" Trigg or Hermie.

The TNA Tag Team title situation just went insane. Not only did you have Super Eric and Kaz(kinda) defeat Tomko and Styles for the TNA Tag titles after a reign that lasted six months, one of the longer tag team title reigns in TNA history, you then had them be stripped of the title less than an hour later. All because Eric Young was involved in the match, but Super Eric got the win.

There will be more on that next week when the announcement is made, but the tag team division went from being stacked with real tag teams and a solid set of champions, to being turned inside out with a gimmick gone wrong. Good luck fixing this cluster. Maybe they'll have a fatal four way with Team 3D, Styles & Tomko, LAX and MCMG, but I seriously doubt that.

I have been very supportive of what Team 3D has done lately. If not in the ring then definitely on the mic, and that wont change this week either. The segment backstage with Christian and Rhino was a great, albeit short promo. Christian and Rhino sold and went along with the promo nicely and it was one of the things TNA did right tonight.

Speaking of promos, LAX wasn’t on top of their game when it came to being on the mic. Homicide is great in the ring, but on the mic he is severely lacking. I shot down Scott Steiner in recent weeks for his slurring of words and stepping on himself. Homicide did that this week.

While I’m on the subject of LAX and their backstage promo, what’s up with another piece of ass interviewer? SpikeTV is the first network for men, yeah, I get that, but is there any need to keep bringing in pretty little blonds to interview the workers? You market for men with women, but you edit out curse words? Leticia, then Crystal, now Lauren, and if Tito ever gets involved with TNA again I’m guessing Jenna Jameson will be the next one.

Sticking with promos for a little while longer, the promo Joe cut backstage with the new eye candy girl was really good, but what pushed it over the edge was Nash just standing behind him. Nash didn’t talk, he really didn’t do much, but the way he did said something.

The six-man tag team match was pretty good. It wasn’t five stars, but it fit. Sting, Booker T and BG James isn’t a team you’d expect to see, but then again neither are Robert Roode, Kip James and James Storm. In the context of the storylines it makes sense. I do like the way that TNA will make multi-person matches to encompass a few storylines. Not all the time, but sometimes it works nicely.

I didn’t really expect Roxxi to take her title shot this soon, and I also didn’t expect her to lose either. I guess though, that ODB or Gail Kim will be the ones to unseat Kong from her position as Queen of the Mountain. Roxxi and Kong put on a very, very solid women’s match. Now I'm just waiting for Awesome Kong vs. Kurt Angle.

The tag team match between the newly rejuvenated Team 3D and The Instant Man Beast Rhino Cage didn’t disappoint either. I guess that Bubba and D-von are going to go face given the post match security interupting spat. I don’t see them breaking up again. Plus, given TNA’s histories breaking up legitimate tag teams isn’t that great. See James Storm, Chris Harris, Chris Daniels, Elix Skipper, Kip and BG James.

Sting and Booker T, will we get to see that? We all know Book can work his ass off as a heel, but then again, it may just be a Vince Russo tease that never comes to fruition. Nobody knows anymore, and I by the way refuse to read the TNA spoilers, because every time I do I don’t watch the product.

DJB’s What To Watch:
First segment-Joe/Steiner/Angle/Christian/Rhino/Team 3D
Jay Lethal vs. Johnny Devine
Jay Lethal sorta vs. Petey Williams (this wont take long truss)
Styles & Tomko vs. LAX vs. (Super) Eric Young & Kaz >>
Six man tag team match > or >> depending on whether or not you like the workers
The Instant Beast Rhino Cage vs. Team 3D

Tha results…
*Black Machismo def. Johnny Devine
*Petey Williams def. Black Machismo to win the X title
*(Super Eric) Young & Kaz def. Styles & Tomko & LAX to win tag titles
*Tha Instant Man Beast def. Team 3D
*Awesome Kong def. Roxxi to retain the Knocked Up title
*BG James-Sting-Booker T def. James Storm-Robert Roode-Kip James

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TNA's O's And NO's For 2006

SUBMITTED BY 'THE HITMAN' BRIAN PLUNKETT

At the beginning of 2005, TNA was still incredibly small scale. Their only weekly show was on a satellite channel, so if you had cable and no channel that carried the syndicated "Xplosion", you were out of luck. I'll tell you first hand, it sucked.

However, at the beginning of 2006, things had changed for TNA. They had landed a spot on Spike TV, every Saturday night at 11 PM. They were taking baby steps towards greatness, and they continue to as 2006 comes to a close. However, for everything they've done right, they've also done a lot of things to show that they're a young company.

Here are my O's and NO's for TNA in 2006:

Tha O's:

First and foremost, moving to Thursday, and then moving to prime time. Slowly getting into better timeslots always helps.

Not giving Samoa Joe the title. In hindsight, I actually now agree with slowly building his character instead of giving him the title right away. He can put on a truly great show without having to have the NWA Heavyweight Championship, so why not showcase him as a guy who's slowly climbing the mountain instead of putting the belt on him immediately, a la Brock Lesnar?

I do agree with giving him a run with the X-Division Title right away, though. Having him compete with the high-flyers helped show that he wasn't one of the stereotypical powerhouse musclemen that you might figure he is at first glance.

Giving Christian Cage the title. There were two benefits to this. Firstly, TNA gained a lot of attention from fans because of how many people liked Christian in WWE, even though he was a heel. Secondly, it gained a lot of attention from disgruntled superstars in WWE. Don't be surprised if you see more WWE guys jumping ship within the next few years.

Giving Abyss the title. I admit it, I have seen the light. He is a good wrestler for someone his size, and a guy like him can be a legitimate top heel if they would just get Sting the hell away from him.

Signing Kurt Angle. When the news of this broke last September, many people called TNA irresponsible for pursuing him. However, so far, it seems like TNA has been very responsible, as far as booking Angle goes. He wrestles only two or three times a month, and for the times that he does that aren't on pay-per-view, they seem to keep his bumps to a minimum.

Take it slow and easy with Kurt, and he'll be able to be a flag-bearer for TNA for years to come.

The pay-per-views. Two Ultimate X matches, Lethal Lockdown, Six Sides of Steel at Bound For Glory, Joe vs. Angle, Monster's Ball, King Of The Mountain...almost every pay-per-view that TNA came out with this year can be argued that they were instant classics.

Kevin Nash. Having him around in a non-wrestling role was a very good call by TNA, as he has given the X-Division a boost in the arm. The Gauntlet match at BFG was a great match, and his commentary was gold. Now, the PCS is hugely popular. As a wrestler, he seems prome to injury, but just as an on-air personality, he's money.

Tha NO's:

Scott Steiner. Can anyone tell me why they even bothered bringing him back? I don't think he won a single match the entire time he was in TNA. Having Jarrett constantly on the TV was bad enough. Having Steiner right next to him made it worse.

The many storylines involving Larry Zbyzko. Remember the whole storyline at the beginning of the year when the "tape" was brought up multiple times every week? What came of it? The story just disappeared after three months and we never heard anything about it again. Wow, what a great payoff for such a long buildup. The only good storyline he was involved in was the "Don't Fire Eric" storyline.

Keeping Raven around. They were gonna release him because he wanted more money than he was worth. TNA should have let him walk. They've done next to nothing with him this year other than take up roster space and waste money. As far as the "Serotonin" storyline that he's involved in right now - the past has taught us that this angle will peter out just based on who it involves.

The James Gang/VKM. I didn't mind the James Gang as much as I do VKM, but neither are that great. They never did get a push with either gimmick, and now all they do is waste TV time. I'm starting to wonder if one of them is injured, and that's why they aren't ever wrestling, even in squash matches.

Don West. I honestly believe that Tenay wouldn't be as bad if he had a better color commentator. I'm sure that West is a great guy in real life, but he really sucks at calling wrestling, and TNA needs to hand him the old pink slip.

Some people may argue that having Sting be in the title picture is a "NO", but I disagree. If you think about it, the only guy that has truly jobbed to him is Jeff Jarrett. He helped put Christian Cage and Abyss over, and was able to get the nostalgic title run he wanted. Whether or not that counts as an "O" is up to you.

The O's are starting to outweigh the NO's in TNA, which means they're going in the right direction. They may need to take baby steps to get there, but it seems that they are headed in the right direction. I look forward to the product that TNA will put out in 2007.

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Friday Night Fallout: Duality

This weeks “SmackDown” as Donnie alluded to during Tha O Show this week was the best show of the week. Not only did Foley and Edge have one of the best segments, though I don’t know the ratings in a long time, Foley also got in some quips on Adamle as well as echoing the sentiment of Donnie and Dan about Adamle fitting in better in that role.

Paul Heyman stated a while back that Edge’s charisma alone could carry a show, and this week Edge’s storyline, charisma and out and out greatness did just that. Triple H is still at home with his newborn daughter and he can take his time because he wasn’t at all missed on “SmackDown” this week.

The storylines between Jeff Hardy and MVP, Kennedy and Benjamin and the ongoing Edge/Vickie/Alicia Fox deal all went deeper. Edge’s character got a lot more intriguing this week. Not only will he continue to play up the ladies man character he will bring back the devious, demented, obsessed character from years passed.

The duality of Edge will be something that if it continues into the future can go in so many directions that it will never have to lose steam, ever. Wrestling is often compared to a soap opera, or “stories” down South, but either way that’s just another angle Edge can spin off. After he’s tired of whatever girl he’s with he can steal someone else’s and he has more heat and a new angle to work with.

I honestly couldn’t tell you how many superstars’ names get a rise out of a crowd like the mention of Undertaker. While Tid may ask, "What’s a work," I ask who at this point is a better draw. People know that nine times out of ten they aren’t going to see Undertaker live, especially with it building to a comeback, but they still get hot for it.

MVP and Jeff Hardy have an interesting feud. It is predicated on the much debated blurred line of work and shoot. The heat MVP gets from mentioning Jeff Hardy’s dog, and his past troubles is unreal. It goes to show just how over Jeff Hardy is. It also shows that this feud, with no championship involved has tremendous upside.

Not only will the two of them be able to put on insane matches and keep a feud going for as long as it needs to, it’ll be one of those feuds that everyone remembers because it does draw on real emotions. I thought Hardy getting in the Twist of Fate after MVP’s match was a nice way to push the feud to the next level, and SummerSlam may be the true starting point for their series of matches, if creative is smart enough to make it a series.

Shelton Benjamin has bronchitis dammit. He shouldn’t have to compete. The mark in me has always loved that angle. Benjamin and Kennedy put on another damn good match and hopefully they too will continue into a series of matches to add more prestige to the United States Championship.

Another thing this accomplished was defining the structure to the show. Triple H is the WWE Champion, top of the card. Benjamin is the United States Champion, mid-card. Jeff Hardy and MVP will be between the two, slightly above Kennedy and Benjamin and Brian Kendrick can handle everything below that line for now until he breaks into the mid card at full speed.

Speaking of Brian Kendrick, I love it. Absolutely love it. People were worried at first that he wouldn’t be getting a true push, just a goofy ass jacket and a big ol black dude to walk out with him. The Brian Kendrick, while like The Brian Pillman is a high flyer and a good stick man can work the hell out of a match, and his mannerisms push his gimmick to let you know it may actually go somewhere. It’s the little things that matter.

Another “SmackDown” happening that drew interest was the stare down between Umaga and Big Show. Here is an instance where losing wouldn’t bury Umaga, but I do think he should get a W over the Big Show. The match or matches may not be five star classics but I think they could serve their purpose on any card at any time.

The Cutting Edge was as promised cutting Edge. We got virtually everything all rolled into one segment, and the best part was, that while the storyline between Edge and Vickie was building they didn’t intrude on this segment and thank God for that. As I said earlier, the duality the Edge character is starting to show again is something to stay tuned for.

DJB’s What to Watch:
Entire Show start to finish minus commercials
Maria vs. Victoria >>>

Tha Results…
*MVP def. Jimmy Wang Yang
*Kennedy def. US Champ Shelton Benjamin (non title)
*The Brian Kendrick def. Stevie Richards
*Khali def. Jeff Hardy
*Maria def. Victoria
*Big Show def. Domino

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Sam Tsui Gets An "O"

In Tha O Show's new feature "Gets An 'O'", we nominate our YouTube Video Of The Week! It's time for our fourth installment.

This week's recipient is one millions have already seen but deserved its props here too. Some kid named Sam Tsui sings a one man a cappella medley of Michael Jackson classics!

If you have suggestions for YouTube videos deserving to get an "O", send your nomination idea to info@dan-e-o.com.

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Brand New Dan-e-o CD Out Now!!

What up O-ster Nation! I can finally answer the question that many of you have been asking: "When is your next CD droppin'?"

Here it is: My brand new mixtape "DJ Law presents The Art of Lyricism: Dan-e-o's Finest" is out now!

This is the CD you've been waiting for. It contains ALL my classics: "Dear Hip Hop", "Baahd!", "Margerine", "Corrida De Toros", "T.N.T.", "Kama Sutra", "Foxy Lady", "Funkbox" and many more!

A total of 30 tracks mixed by T-dot's illest, DJ Law.

Please visit my OFFICIAL ONLINE STORE to grab your copy for only $9.99!

And get this...anyone who purchases a copy of "DJ Law presents The Art of Lyricism: Dan-e-o's Finest" will ALSO be entered into Tha O Show's t-shirt contest for a chance to win a prize pack including a guest appearance on our weekly radio program!

You can check out some of the songs from the CD on my MYSPACE PAGE.

Thanks for your support, O-sters!

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Are You Sirius About Hip-Hop?

Attention all true hip-hop heads! If you're anything like your bro Dan-e-o, you're a die hard fan and supporter of genuine hip-hop music. In addition, you may be furious about the cancellation of Sirius Satellite Radio's BackSpin (Channel 43), as reported on Episode 91 of Tha O Show this week.

This is truly a spit in the face and kick in the nuts. Sirius, which has recently merged with XM Radio is fucking up the entire reason that satellite radio should exist. That is, to provide an alternative to the monotonous garbage found on everyday regular radio.

Not only has Sirius cancelled BackSpin - it's ONLY supplier of old school hip-hop programming featuring classics from the 80's & 90's - as of November 12, 2008, but they are apparently also now censoring the music they still do play on other stations. And people are paying for this, why?

Here's the truth. I'm not even a subscriber to Sirius. The only music I listen to are the CDs I purchase myself. In all honesty, no DJ truly satisfies my musical needs as my tastes are quite specific. Nevertheless, I personally called Sirius to complain because the cancellation of BackSpin speaks to a much bigger social issue than music preference.

As an artist, teacher and lifelong fan of this culture, hip-hop is a lifestyle for me. I make it a daily effort to communicate to anyone who will listen that the culture and the music represented by it is NOT all guns, thugs, money, bitches and drugs. Thanks to stations like BET, this has been hard to prove, as of late.

The music that used to be played on BackSpin represents hip-hop's golden era. A time when the music demonstrated some variety. Songs were inventive and artistic. Artists worked to be original and creative and strove to be masters of their lyrical craft. Topics varied and intriguing concepts were abundant. The music was soulful, funky, and bass heavy. Not electronic, cheesy and generic.

I'm talkin' Big Daddy Kane, A Tribe Called Quest, Public Enemy, EPMD, Run D.M.C., De La Soul and Rakim. I'm talkin' N.W.A., Slick Rick, Redman, Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth, Special Ed, MC Lyte, 3rd Bass and Kool G. Rap. I'm talkin' Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock, Brand Nubian, Fu-Schnickens, Gang Starr, Boogie Down Productions, Black Moon, Leaders Of The New School and Lords Of The Underground. And yes, I'm talkin' about 2Pac, The Notorious B.I.G., Eazy-E and SO many more!

Gone. All gone! Is Sirius XM actually serious? Is there really no room for all of these greats on their so-called "best radio on radio" network?

Let your voice be heard and join the millions who are already complaining about this bullshit. If you subscribe to Sirius, call Customer Care at 1-888-539-7474. And whether you subscribe or not, call their headquarters in New York at 1-888-635-5142 and tell them to bring back BackSpin!

Your support is greatly appreciated.

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Friday Night Fallout: Great Flair, Knee Khali

What up O-sters, it's Saturday morning and you all know what that means. That's right it's time for yet another hard-hitting, sidesplitting edition of "Friday Night Fallout".

Deuce takes on Batista in the show's opener. I have a question to pose to every O-ster reading this article. Is this because they either have nothing else for Batista to do, or because they want to elevate Lenny & Squiggy? I know that on Tha O Show the crew was discussing that they were feeding Deuce and Domino to Batista, but I don’t really feel like that's what's happening.

I think that they want to elevate the WWE Tag Team Champions. They gave it a legit start back when "SmackDown!" had the Battle Royal to decide the new World Heavyweight Champion. Deuce and Domino had the little "altercation" with Batista. You know, "you want a piece of me?"

Another reason is that the matches aren't complete squashes. I know that they aren't your back and forth future classics, but it isn't lock up, punch, clothesline, spine buster and Batista Bomb. Cherry is getting involved which is another reason I don't view this as pointless squashes. Not only do the WWE Tag Team Champions have no opponents for SummerSlam, but one could go as far as to say that Deuce & Domino could get involved in the World Heavyweight Championship match as SummerSlam, because we ALL know that Batista and Khali will not be able to put on a match alone that keeps people's attention, and keeps them awake.

I am still irritated by Skid mark Singh as Khali's manager/interpreter type gimmick. This dude offers nothing, nada, zilch to the character or the story. Apparently the E is no longer high on GOOD manager, seeing as how Armando Alejandro Estrada is no longer on TV, and Davairi is a jobberific curtain jerker on RAW. Davairi would be/was good as Khali's manager, and he can cut one hell of a promo. The Great Mushmouth has a decent ability to put over how big he is, and something tells me that is an innate ability. Khali is an interesting character, but only if used right, and right now with Assjack Singh he aint cutting it.

I have a suggestion to all the O-sters out there who can do this. Watch the show (any, "Raw", ECW, "SmackDown!", "iMPACT!") with a mark. Preferably a younger mark, but just do it. It will do one of two things. It will make you realize how fun it was to be a mark, and how overrated it is to be a "smark." I watched this episode of "SmackDown!" with my younger sister and she posed a question to me that made me look back to the Attitude Era.

Mark Henry had just beaten Smark Favorite Sterling Keenan (Apparently the WWE doesn't like James) and my sister looked at me and said, "Who was that." So I explained independent wrestling, and told her of his time in 1PW, and how high Steve Corino was/is on Keenan. She then asked me as Mark Henry cut another Silverback promo, "Has anybody ever beaten Mark Henry."

Since Mark Henry's debut as Ken Shamrock's "partner" and then Nation member at the onset of the Attitude Era, I thought about the evolution of "The Worlds Strongest Man." Oddly enough, The Rock, Ken Shamrock, D'Lo Brown, Val Venis and Mae Young’s uterus were the only names I could come up with off the top of my head. Here's a guy who went from being "Sexual Chocolate" to being the "Silverback."

A lot of people have forgotten how he was once over, and once a laughingstock of both the mark and smark communities. Now he's pretty over as a dominant heel, and is apparently positioned to feud with the Undertaker (remember me mentioning that a few articles back? I DO) Mark Henry and the Undertaker is a program the WWE has been after for a while, but it never exactly happened because both men have suffered injuries within the last year/year and a half.

The Undertaker has always, and will always have the best video packages, and entrances. I recently had a conversation with another "smark" and this guy honestly believes that The Undertaker's character sucks, and that the Undertaker will never draw like Triple H. The mystique of The Undertaker character will be something that other characters will go after for generations to come.

The package of Mark Henry beating down Taker that directly transitioned into the Judgment Day '99 little girl video that has been updated a gillion times, was done really well. The past shots of Taker being buried and burned were a great little history package, and then the Druid leaving footprints was good, I just think that he should have been farther down, or not down at all when the lights came up. Respek to Mark Henry for actually selling it though, looking legitimately scared, or worried about it.

So MVP's disease was terrible and quickly cured, but in a way it was good for the WWE. Did anybody hear the comment Michael Cole made? Hailing up the WWE's Wellness Policy for being great. Well, I guess that was something that made Vince smile. I now honestly expect MVP to hang on the United States Championship for quite a while because the WWE Wellness Policy saved his life.

I do hate that he was given that bad news, but am truly glad it was quickly corrected before anything major resulted. The interview that MVP cut "in studio" was pretty good, but I'm with Donnie, Half Man-Half Amazing really don't carry much weight, and it'll never be a MAJOR catchphrase. Now if you want to know a good one, you'll have to catch me at halftime, because for now, I'm "BALLIN."

Okay, I was all for Hornswoggle being the WWE Cruiserweight Champion, and I was all for another Matt Hardy/Finlay match, but to integrate the two and end another match with a count out is about as knee as it could be. The following segment was pretty cool, with Shannon Moore, Funaki and Noble cornered by the Fighting Irishman, and then the Kane interruption.

The only thing negative that came from this was the fact that I realized how truly bad the WWE's creative and writing team really is. Kane was going to be chasing Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship this summer, and now he's doing what? Pointless squashes and maybe a program with Finlay? Imagine that tag team, Kane and Noble VS. Finlay and Hornswoggle, ok, so maybe that program won't happen. That leads me to this question, with a guy like Kane, big, talented and OVER, how can you have nothing for him? Program him with Batista, have him teach Batista some big man ways to work, and you get two positives.

I'm going to switch gears for a second. As offensive as Jonathon Coachman is to black people attempting to be black, the Dalton's are as equally offensive to all southern people. (Well at least those of us with IQ's of over 60, so yeah, maybe about 20% of us.) You know that this is Michael P.S Hayes up one side and down the other. It's pert near impossible to believe that a truly intelligent feller would throw these two ol' boys into a tag team like that.

Seriously though, you've got Jesse, which I'm 99-100% sure that he did this because of Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazard, and Festus, which I'm equally sure is from the Festus character off the TV show Gunsmoke. Hell maybe he'll make the Daltons an extended family with the likes of John Boy, Little Joe, Hoss, Newly, Marshall Dillon, their distant cousin Frank James and their mother, aunt, grandmother, mistress and head hooker Miss Kitty. Jesus Christ, WRESTLE ALREADY!

SmackDown's roster has probably decreased in size by 50% and in doing so they have lost 99% of their talent. At least the talent that Michael Hayes knows how to use. I've stated before that Court Bauer left and he wasn't the first writer to leave the WWE due to head bumping with Hayes, so here's a tip to the powers that be in the WWE, get rid of Hayes or put a leash on the bastard, he's hurting your product, and he's costing you money by having to hire and fire and deal with the release of staff members that have had good ideas, and helped the company make money in the past. Michael Hayes has no clue how to use talent that needs to get over, but amazingly can use talent that's already over. Michael Hayes, GO DIE.

All night long we got the little advertisements/promo's whatever for the Ric Flair VS. Mushmouth main event. Did anybody really think that this would be a classic? Yeah, me either. The match wasn’t terrible, and as much as I hate to say it, the highlight of this debacle was the Batista run in. I know my bredren Dan-e-o doesn't agree with me, but I'm sticking by my guns when I say that Batista knows his role, and now carries himself better than he has since WrestleMania 21.

The way that they are playing the Batista-Khali feud makes it seem to me that Batista will end up empty handed, and that Khali will enjoy a reign lasting at least until No Mercy. Michael Cole dropped the comment of "Enough is enough," during the Khali domination of Flair and Batista, and while I looked at Mushmouth and Skidmark Singh, I couldn't help but think of Owen, and I had to say it, "Enough is enough and it's time for a change!"

Well Osters, that's all I got for this week, so it's time for Tha Notorious one to do a tap out, so I will, and until next time, Oooooooooooooo!

Quick results in case you missed it...
Batista def. Domino
Chavo Mysterio def. Eugene
Mark Henry def. Sterling James Keenan
Victoria def. Torrie Wilson Thank GOD that Michelle McCool is back, WOW
Matt Hardy def. Finlay via count out
Kane def. Sylvan (apparently he sucks too bad to get the push and the hot French valet)
Chris Masters def. John in the Masterlock Challenge
The Great Khali def. Ric Flair

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