Friday Night Fallout: Great Flair, Knee Khali

What up O-sters, it's Saturday morning and you all know what that means. That's right it's time for yet another hard-hitting, sidesplitting edition of "Friday Night Fallout".

Deuce takes on Batista in the show's opener. I have a question to pose to every O-ster reading this article. Is this because they either have nothing else for Batista to do, or because they want to elevate Lenny & Squiggy? I know that on Tha O Show the crew was discussing that they were feeding Deuce and Domino to Batista, but I don’t really feel like that's what's happening.

I think that they want to elevate the WWE Tag Team Champions. They gave it a legit start back when "SmackDown!" had the Battle Royal to decide the new World Heavyweight Champion. Deuce and Domino had the little "altercation" with Batista. You know, "you want a piece of me?"

Another reason is that the matches aren't complete squashes. I know that they aren't your back and forth future classics, but it isn't lock up, punch, clothesline, spine buster and Batista Bomb. Cherry is getting involved which is another reason I don't view this as pointless squashes. Not only do the WWE Tag Team Champions have no opponents for SummerSlam, but one could go as far as to say that Deuce & Domino could get involved in the World Heavyweight Championship match as SummerSlam, because we ALL know that Batista and Khali will not be able to put on a match alone that keeps people's attention, and keeps them awake.

I am still irritated by Skid mark Singh as Khali's manager/interpreter type gimmick. This dude offers nothing, nada, zilch to the character or the story. Apparently the E is no longer high on GOOD manager, seeing as how Armando Alejandro Estrada is no longer on TV, and Davairi is a jobberific curtain jerker on RAW. Davairi would be/was good as Khali's manager, and he can cut one hell of a promo. The Great Mushmouth has a decent ability to put over how big he is, and something tells me that is an innate ability. Khali is an interesting character, but only if used right, and right now with Assjack Singh he aint cutting it.

I have a suggestion to all the O-sters out there who can do this. Watch the show (any, "Raw", ECW, "SmackDown!", "iMPACT!") with a mark. Preferably a younger mark, but just do it. It will do one of two things. It will make you realize how fun it was to be a mark, and how overrated it is to be a "smark." I watched this episode of "SmackDown!" with my younger sister and she posed a question to me that made me look back to the Attitude Era.

Mark Henry had just beaten Smark Favorite Sterling Keenan (Apparently the WWE doesn't like James) and my sister looked at me and said, "Who was that." So I explained independent wrestling, and told her of his time in 1PW, and how high Steve Corino was/is on Keenan. She then asked me as Mark Henry cut another Silverback promo, "Has anybody ever beaten Mark Henry."

Since Mark Henry's debut as Ken Shamrock's "partner" and then Nation member at the onset of the Attitude Era, I thought about the evolution of "The Worlds Strongest Man." Oddly enough, The Rock, Ken Shamrock, D'Lo Brown, Val Venis and Mae Young’s uterus were the only names I could come up with off the top of my head. Here's a guy who went from being "Sexual Chocolate" to being the "Silverback."

A lot of people have forgotten how he was once over, and once a laughingstock of both the mark and smark communities. Now he's pretty over as a dominant heel, and is apparently positioned to feud with the Undertaker (remember me mentioning that a few articles back? I DO) Mark Henry and the Undertaker is a program the WWE has been after for a while, but it never exactly happened because both men have suffered injuries within the last year/year and a half.

The Undertaker has always, and will always have the best video packages, and entrances. I recently had a conversation with another "smark" and this guy honestly believes that The Undertaker's character sucks, and that the Undertaker will never draw like Triple H. The mystique of The Undertaker character will be something that other characters will go after for generations to come.

The package of Mark Henry beating down Taker that directly transitioned into the Judgment Day '99 little girl video that has been updated a gillion times, was done really well. The past shots of Taker being buried and burned were a great little history package, and then the Druid leaving footprints was good, I just think that he should have been farther down, or not down at all when the lights came up. Respek to Mark Henry for actually selling it though, looking legitimately scared, or worried about it.

So MVP's disease was terrible and quickly cured, but in a way it was good for the WWE. Did anybody hear the comment Michael Cole made? Hailing up the WWE's Wellness Policy for being great. Well, I guess that was something that made Vince smile. I now honestly expect MVP to hang on the United States Championship for quite a while because the WWE Wellness Policy saved his life.

I do hate that he was given that bad news, but am truly glad it was quickly corrected before anything major resulted. The interview that MVP cut "in studio" was pretty good, but I'm with Donnie, Half Man-Half Amazing really don't carry much weight, and it'll never be a MAJOR catchphrase. Now if you want to know a good one, you'll have to catch me at halftime, because for now, I'm "BALLIN."

Okay, I was all for Hornswoggle being the WWE Cruiserweight Champion, and I was all for another Matt Hardy/Finlay match, but to integrate the two and end another match with a count out is about as knee as it could be. The following segment was pretty cool, with Shannon Moore, Funaki and Noble cornered by the Fighting Irishman, and then the Kane interruption.

The only thing negative that came from this was the fact that I realized how truly bad the WWE's creative and writing team really is. Kane was going to be chasing Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship this summer, and now he's doing what? Pointless squashes and maybe a program with Finlay? Imagine that tag team, Kane and Noble VS. Finlay and Hornswoggle, ok, so maybe that program won't happen. That leads me to this question, with a guy like Kane, big, talented and OVER, how can you have nothing for him? Program him with Batista, have him teach Batista some big man ways to work, and you get two positives.

I'm going to switch gears for a second. As offensive as Jonathon Coachman is to black people attempting to be black, the Dalton's are as equally offensive to all southern people. (Well at least those of us with IQ's of over 60, so yeah, maybe about 20% of us.) You know that this is Michael P.S Hayes up one side and down the other. It's pert near impossible to believe that a truly intelligent feller would throw these two ol' boys into a tag team like that.

Seriously though, you've got Jesse, which I'm 99-100% sure that he did this because of Uncle Jesse from Dukes of Hazard, and Festus, which I'm equally sure is from the Festus character off the TV show Gunsmoke. Hell maybe he'll make the Daltons an extended family with the likes of John Boy, Little Joe, Hoss, Newly, Marshall Dillon, their distant cousin Frank James and their mother, aunt, grandmother, mistress and head hooker Miss Kitty. Jesus Christ, WRESTLE ALREADY!

SmackDown's roster has probably decreased in size by 50% and in doing so they have lost 99% of their talent. At least the talent that Michael Hayes knows how to use. I've stated before that Court Bauer left and he wasn't the first writer to leave the WWE due to head bumping with Hayes, so here's a tip to the powers that be in the WWE, get rid of Hayes or put a leash on the bastard, he's hurting your product, and he's costing you money by having to hire and fire and deal with the release of staff members that have had good ideas, and helped the company make money in the past. Michael Hayes has no clue how to use talent that needs to get over, but amazingly can use talent that's already over. Michael Hayes, GO DIE.

All night long we got the little advertisements/promo's whatever for the Ric Flair VS. Mushmouth main event. Did anybody really think that this would be a classic? Yeah, me either. The match wasn’t terrible, and as much as I hate to say it, the highlight of this debacle was the Batista run in. I know my bredren Dan-e-o doesn't agree with me, but I'm sticking by my guns when I say that Batista knows his role, and now carries himself better than he has since WrestleMania 21.

The way that they are playing the Batista-Khali feud makes it seem to me that Batista will end up empty handed, and that Khali will enjoy a reign lasting at least until No Mercy. Michael Cole dropped the comment of "Enough is enough," during the Khali domination of Flair and Batista, and while I looked at Mushmouth and Skidmark Singh, I couldn't help but think of Owen, and I had to say it, "Enough is enough and it's time for a change!"

Well Osters, that's all I got for this week, so it's time for Tha Notorious one to do a tap out, so I will, and until next time, Oooooooooooooo!

Quick results in case you missed it...
Batista def. Domino
Chavo Mysterio def. Eugene
Mark Henry def. Sterling James Keenan
Victoria def. Torrie Wilson Thank GOD that Michelle McCool is back, WOW
Matt Hardy def. Finlay via count out
Kane def. Sylvan (apparently he sucks too bad to get the push and the hot French valet)
Chris Masters def. John in the Masterlock Challenge
The Great Khali def. Ric Flair

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