I
was recently thinking about one of the best Royal Rumble's that ever
happened. There have been a ton of memorable moments and stories that
have led to good Wrestlemania moments. The best Rumble for me has got
to be 1993's Royal Rumble. This Rumble had not only the largest
amount of superstars but some really good feuds were coming to a
head.
This
Rumble started with that Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers match
I covered before in the very first Tha Classics I posted. This match
is what I say is the best tag team wrestling match I have ever seen. If
someone asked me “What is tag team wrestling?” I would play that
match for them. Even though the commentary didn't work for whatever
reason with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan it didn't take away how
good it was. This is the match with the best Frankensteiner ever
executed.
The
next match was Shawn Michaels aka HBK versus Marty Jannetty aka Not
HBK. This match was the culmination of the “Barbershop Window
Incident.” Mind you, this was pre-internet. As far as I knew at the
time dirt sheets were what my cousin made when he pissed the bed. I
had no idea that HBK was gonna kick his partner in the damned face
and toss him through a window. He literally kicked the popularity out
of Jannetty! Besides being a great way to keep this feud going this
match makes you miss Sensational Sherri and the role female managers
played when they were on their A game. I had no idea which way Sherri
was gonna turn during this match.
The
next match was Bam Bam Bigelow versus Big Boss Man. Uh...that
happened. I seriously cant even remember this taking place.
Next
up was for the WWF Championship with Bret Hart defending against
Razor Ramon. Damn, Razor was a dick during this time period! He was
fucking around attacking Owen (this was when getting hit with a
trashcan ended with stretchers arriving on scene), trash talking Bret
during matches and interviews. This match was just about as good as
their match at the first King Of The Ring. Second Sharpshooter
attempt. Pah! Ya done, son! Bret retains and I cheered like a little
girl because he was Bret was my hero at this time.
Next
Bobby Heenan brought out his latest wrestler, “The Narcissist”
Lex Luger! I was like “That's...just Luger.” I was never a huge
fan of his particularly since my brother could easily apply the
damned Torture Rack to me whenever he pleased. Sitting eating cereal?
Torture Rack. Going to take a leak? Torture Rack. Crying because I
was put in the Torture Rack? Torture Rack. The shit was endless. So,
yeah. The best part about this is looking at what was defined as hot
in the 90's when they zoom in on chicks in the audience and Heenan's
damn near fainting as he begs Luger to disrobe. Remember Chris
Master's long ass entrance? Okay. No imagine it time twenty. I guess
it worked though. 20 years later and I recall it better than Bam Bam
and Boss Man's match.
Now
it is time for the Royal Rumble! Apparently this was the first time
where winning equaled a shot at the belt. I had cleaned the entire
damned house for this moment. The match starts off with Bob Backlund
and Ric Flair in the ring. Yeah. That is how this damned thing
starts! How can I even make a comparison for younger readers? That
would be like Undertaker and The Rock starting the Rumble in 2014. I
guess. I don't know who you kids like nowadays. Heath Slater?
Fandango? But seriously, I like Fandango. Not as a wrestler since a
diving legdrop is ass. But the whole dancing shit makes me laugh.
Back to the match!
This
match had Virgil getting his revenge on against Ted DiBiase. The
Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) beginning to break up.
Giant Gonzalez showed up and tossed Taker around like a ragdoll. Even
as a child I thought his outfit was ridiculous. So no Taker for the
Rumble. Now anything could happen. Hell, Fatu could be fighting for
the belt!
Here
are some of the names that were involved. Papa Shango, Rick Martel,
Tito Santana, Carlito's dad Carlos Colon (when he came to the ring I
was like “The hell is this guy?!”), Owen Hart, IRS, Jerry Lawler,
Koko B. Ware, and Mr. Perfect. And of course Macho Man Randy Savage!
He
and Yokozuna were the last two men in the ring and from what I
remember Macho was the first person to ever take Yokozuna off his
feet. He headed up to the top rope, delivered the elbow drop,
and...went for the pin? What?! Yoko benchpressed him off his chest
and over the top rope! I was furious! I seriously thought that he was
gonna find some way to get Yoko over the top rope and win it.
I
have included a link RIGHT HERE to the Rumble if any of you wanna
share in my joy. Wear shades though. Bob Backlund has some very white
legs.
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