X Division Escape Match: Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Robbie E. vs. Chris Sabin vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Jay Lethal vs. Amazing Red vs. Suicide
I predicted Suicide would win, but he's out within minutes after a face breaker from Robbie E. Amazing Red eliminates Jay Lethal with the Code Red. Chris Sabin turns Amazing Red inside-out with a lariat for the pin. Sabin is eliminated when Max Buck hits a Blockbuster off the ropes. Brian Kendrick finally stops meditating and gets involved in the match. Max rolls up Jeremy Buck with an inside cradle to eliminate his own brother. Kendrick get lawn darted into the cage by Robbie E & Max Buck, Kendrick fights back, hits a thrust kick on Robbie E. to eliminate him. Down to Max Buck and Kendrick, they fight on the top rope, Kendrick knocks Buck off, but Buck knocks into referee Earl Hebner, who bumps into the cage, which bumps Kendrick off the top of the cage back into the ring. Max Buck escapes over the top for the win.
WINNER: Max Buck. MATCH RATING: 3/5. A lot of standard X Division meaningless flippy crap, but some decent spots as well. But, ultimately, this match proved to be nothing but a waste of time.
Ink, Inc. (Shannon Moore & Jesse Neal) vs. Orlando Jordan & Eric Young vs. The British Invasion (Doug Williams & Magnus) vs. Scott Steiner & Crimson
Really another meaningless match that is put on for absolutely no reason. Eric Young tries to escape the cage to stop the match. Why is Eric Young being wasted in comedy spots? Not a lot to report here, good tag team action, but nothing spectacular, clusterfuck finish where everybody hits their finisher on everybody else. Eric Young wipes everybody out, then decides to escape the cage AGAIN, this time landing on the outside and thinking he has won. Shannin Moore hits the Mooregasm (groan) on Doug Williams for the pin.
WINNERS: Ink, Inc. MATCH RATING: 3/5. Again, nothing spectacular here, and the match had no point.
TNA Knockouts Championship, title-vs-hair: champion Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James
A 90 second squash that saw Mickie James whip Madison Rayne pillar-to-post before finishing her off with the Laree DDT. Rayne had banned Tara from ringside, claiming not to trust her. So ... um... no disrespect to my girl, but what's the point of an injured wrestler squashing the champion and taking her title?
WINNER: Mickie James. MATCH RATING: 1/5. This match wasn't even long enough to rate, and this could have been done on Impact and achieved the same reuslts. Fans got ripped off of a promoted title match here.
"The Samoan Submission Machine" Samoa Joe vs. "The Pope" D'Angelo Dinero
Another great Impact-worthy match, but not enough going into it for a solid PPV match. Pope has a wardrobe malfunction courtesy of Joe. Joe finishes him off with the Kokina Clutch.
WINNER: Samoa Joe. MATCH RATING: 3/5.
"The Blueprint" Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
The most solid match on the card that went a decent amount of time. Hernandez controls most of the match, when Morgna turns it around you have Sarita, Rosita and Anarquia hop on the cage to distract Morgan. Morgan drills Anarquita between the eyes (through the cage), turns around to find Hernandez trying to attack him from the top turnbuckle, Morgan takes him out with the Carbon Footprint.
WINNER: Matt Morgan. MATCH RATING: 5/5
After the match, Rosita & Serita cut a promo about how all Americans are against them and how they don't get fair title shots because of the fans. Velvet Sky comes out, side-steps Rosita, hits a Thesz Press on Sarita, and everything moves to the back.
"Ultra Male Rules" Match: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett
Karen Angle is banned from ringside. Three parts to the match, first is win by submission only. For some reason referee Biran Hebner keeps trying to count pinfalls. Angle submits Jarrett with an ankle lock from a leg scissor to win the first fall. Second fall is win by pin only, which Jarrett Does after he escapes an Olympic Slam and cradles Angle for the pin. Final fall is by escaping the cage. Angle quickly has Jarrett beaten, starts to walk out of the cage, changes his mind and comes back in. Mistake. Angle nearly kills himself by hitting a headscissor takeover off the top turnbuckle on Jarrett, and landing on his head. He's tough enough to do that, but apparently he's too much of a pussy to risk a chair shot from Gunner on the outside. Then Scott Steiner runs out and takes the chair, THROWS IT HALFWAY ACROSS THE ARENA AT GUNNER AND HITS A SECURITY GUARD! Karen Angle runs down, THE REFEREE SEES HER SPRAY ANGLE IN THE EYES WITH HAIR SPRAY, and doesn't disqualify Jarrett? Fail. Angle, in his blinded state, clotheslines the referee, Karen opens the cage, slides in a guitar, Jarrett with the El Kabong escapes.
WINNER: Jeff Jarrett. MATCH RATING 2/5. Seriously, too many fucked up things here kept this match down.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship: champion "the Icon" Sting vs. Ken Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam
An 8-minute match that sees Sting put both Anderson and RVD in the Scorpion Death Lock simultaneously, riduculous spot. Fairly fast-paced action until Hulk Hogan comes down to the ring with a PVC pipe, opens the cage, hands it to RVD and tells the referee it's legal for him to use it. RVD mulls it over and throws the pipe back at Hogan. Anderson grabs the pipe and whacks RVD with it, then tells Hogan that Anderson did it for himself, and not Hogan. Sting comes from behind and hits the Scropion Death Drop on an unsuspecting Anderson.
WINNER: Sting. MATCH RATING: 4/5. At least it wasn't another 90 second squash, and the action was pretty decent, the ending was good. Mission accomplished.
Lethal Lockdown: Fortune ("the Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels, Fank Kazarian, "Cowboy" James Storm & Robert Roode) vs. Immortal ("the Monster" Abyss, Gunner, Murphy, "Cold Blooded" Matt Hardy & "the Nature Boy" Ric Flair).
Nobody can win until the top of the cage is lowered so everybody can get weapons. Good back-and-forth action. When the cage is finally lowered, Abyss is thrown through the cage door to the outside. So much for keeping it int he cage, then again, it never stays in the cage. Christopher Daniels and Matt Hardy climb to the top of the cage where TWO sick and nearly dangerous bumps take place. The first one has Daniels slide to the edge of the cage and nearly fall off, if not for being able to grab the edge of the cage in the nick of time. The second sees Matt Hardy trying to climb down the side of the cage, he slips and falls. Hardy was okay, him and Abyss pair together and Daniels flies off the cage to hit both men with a cross-body block.
Note to Christopher Daniels and Matt Hardy - NEVER, EVER DO THIS AGAIN. TNA IS NOT WORTH IT!
The match finishes up with everybody hitting their finishers, Bully Ray wipes out everybody, then threatens to take out Daniels with a kendo stick while invoking the name of AJ Styles. Speaking of which, Styles' entrance music hits, he comes down to the ring, he's allowed to get in the match, kicks Bully Ray's ass. Ric Flair tries to attack from behind, Rober Roode snatches him by his hair, throws him into the cage. Everybody hits their finishers on Flair, and James Storm forces Flair to tap out via Fujiwara Armbar.
WINNERS: Fortune: MATCH RATING: 4/5. Other than the botched spots that nearly killed two people, and the blatant interference for the finish, was a solid match worthy of a PPV.
FINAL RATING AND THOUGHTS: 25 out of a possible 40 point: 62.5% rating. Once again a TNA PPV fails to make the cut for a PPV buy (80%), but it just barely makes it in for a DVD buy. The show, on my scale, fell just 8 points short, but I'm not sure if they could have made it up. Hopefully this puts an end to at least Angle/Jarrett and Pope/Joe, and maybe we can start moving forward in the heavyweight title division as well.