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Rated R Rumble

Okay, let me say this one time just to get it out of the way, since I'm sure Donnie will spend enough time on it come this week's show. Yes, Edge is Canadian. Let's move on.

The night started off with Christian retaining his ECW Championship over Ezekiel Jackson. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather see Christian as champion than Jackson, but I can't help but wonder why Christian is being given such a long title run, especially given the current belt hotshotting status quo in WWE these days. Are they trying to build his credibility before moving him to another brand come the draft? Or do they just not feel that there's a heel on ECW worthy of carrying the big belt?

I could understand the logic behind the first, but not the second. O-sters know how hard I pulled for William Regal to win the ECW Championship when he was chasing it over the summer and fall. Yes, ECW has a small roster, but just because they're small doesn't mean they don't have some great talent.

I'm not as adamant of a Miz homer as Frank, but by the same token, I don't hate him the way Donnie does. I think he does a good job of being a heel midcarder, and I'm glad that he retained his title tonight. Primarily because a US Title run does nothing more than help to cement the glass ceiling about MVP's head. The Ballin' One should be off feuding with main eventers and gunning for the WWE Championship, not going for the championship that he was able to hang onto for 11 months back in 2007-2008. There were some noticeable boos after the match when MVP hit the Playmaker on The Miz. Perhaps he's about to turn heel and do what I just mentioned?

I haven't been digging the Mickie James storyline for two reasons. Reason the first, Mickie has come out on her Twitter and stated that she weighs 126 pounds. Um, sorry, that's not fat and anyone who would think it is needs to get bitchslapped by a girl. Hard. Maybe she looks fatter when compared to a skeleton like Michelle McCool, but even BMI calculators state that for Mickie's height and weight, she does not qualify as overweight (and yes, I just went and looked up the BMI equation to verify that). The second reason is that Layla, who has been accompanying McCool over the past month, is two inches shorter than Mickie, and only one pound lighter, meaning that Layla is making fun of Mickie for being fat, even though Layla is technically the more overweight of the two.

Okay, I had to look up a lot of information for that last paragraph, but all it did was corroborate my distaste for this angle. Why is a girl making fat jokes towards a girl who weighs the same as her?

Alright, 9 times out of 10, world title matches at Royal Rumble are throwaway one-offs anyway, so here we go with a quick recap of them. Sheamus, who I still hate and will continue to hate until he stops looking like he belongs on the Irish version of Jersey Shore, retained his title via Disqualification. The major storyline here was the friction between Legacy before, during, and after the match. I've never seen such an obvious build up for a turn. Unless WWE is trying to swerve everybody. In which case, they're doing a damned good job. But I doubt it.

Undertaker beat Rey Mysterio. Yawn. Don't care.

Why did they continue to play up the Miz/MVP hatred? Didn't I just say earlier in this article that MVP should be challenging for the WWE Championship instead of lingering around the midcard? I'm pretty sure I did.

It's great to see Edge back, but more importantly, it's great that they brought him back as a heel. There was a lot of talk ever since Edge got injured that he would be brought back as a face to feud with Chris Jericho. It was even very blatantly teased on Edge's last "SmackDown!" appearance, in which Y2J had some not so nice parting words for his former partner. However, that was a bad idea. Sure, you bring Edge back as a face for a match with Jericho at WrestleMania, but then what? Then you have another main event face on a show that has far too few main event heels.

Hopefully Edge will be able to put on an extended run and not be bitten by the injury bug, as he often has in his career. It's kind of amazing to see all the accomplishments Edge has had when you keep in mind his laundry list of injuries, as as well as the fact that he's spent 3+ months off of TV the past three years.

Regardless, as it stands, we're now on track for a Undertaker vs. Edge main event for WrestleMania XXVI. Although, given the amount of play they've given to Shawn Michaels demanding a rematch with Undertaker, I would expect something to happen to change those plans. Maybe Michaels will screw Undertaker out of his title next month at Elimination Chamber?

Tha Results:
*Christian def. Ezekiel Jackson to retain ECW Championship
*The Miz def. MVP to retain US Championship
*Sheamus def. Randy Orton by DQ (Sheamus retains WWE Championship)
*Mickie James def. Michelle McCool to win Women's Championship
*Undertaker def. Rey Mysterio to retain World Heavyweight Championship
*Edge wins Royal Rumble Match

6 comments: on "Rated R Rumble"

D. Ross said...

Ezekiel looked good in his match against Christian. I dont watch much of ECW and the last time I saw him was when he was Kendrick's slave.

The Miz/MVP match was not as bad as I was expecting. I hated that segment beforehand though. Actually, I hated every segment during the night.

LOVED the Sheamus/Orton match! When he gave that backbreaker to Orton I shouted. Shit looked painful. Loved damage being sold throughout the match as well. It was awesome.

James/McCool was mercifully short. The cake shit at the end was longer than the actual match. Mickie James is so fucking hot...

I liked the Taker/Rey match. Still cant figure out how Taker got his nose busted though. Loved that there was no interference.

I liked the actual Rumble match because I had no idea who was gonna win. My O Show draft pick was fucking Ryder and I groaned when I heard his music. Wished it was longer as it felt very rushed.

josh said...

I was at the Rumble tonight, just got home about an hour and a half ago and man are my ears still buzzing from the noise. It seems like it was a really loud show tonight not sure if that translated over the airwaves or not. Crowd went apeshit for Edge ofc but also gave a HUGE face pop for Orton. Count down clock on when they turn him face anyone?

Christian- Jackson match was a decent opener but seemed like it was really slow paced and not all that good and was pretty boring IMO.

Miz- MVP match was much better than I expected it to be and was prob contending for best match tonight maybe? Meh.

Orton- Sheamus match was pretty decent overall wish they hadn't done the run in with Cody but I see where it was going though it boggles the mind that they would end the "feud" between Sheamus and Orton this way but yay WWE.

Mickie- Michelle Jesus fucking Christ this shit went on for way to fucking long I can't believe they can sleep at night putting this bullshit on TV, once again yay WWE.

Undertaker- Rey Rey match was another pretty good Rumble throw away championship match. Was kinda surprised that Undertaker controlled the match the way that he did though.

Rumble match its self was pretty cool although it seems like it went by much faster this year than it has in past years, I mean come on in the promo they hyped up the fact that Rey lasted 60 something minutes in the Rumble he won and the match this year didn't even push the hour mark? Whatever. HHH going out so early was a really big surprise and did they ever backload the talent in this match. Jericho, Edge, and Batista as the last three entrants was cool though. Big surprise that Edge was #29(I was expecting 30) and as soon as he came out I knew he was going to win the whole thing, although that's fucking awesome cause Edge rocks.

Huge crowd pops for:

Undertakers pop also seemed kinda lackluster from what I was expecting but I dun really know cause his music is so goddamn loud in the arena.

Carlito said...

Breaking News: Another member of the fraternity passes away, RIP Jack Briscoe

Hipnosis said...

wait...ECW has a "BIG TITLE"

kathy said...

YAY I've missed Edge !!

BigDaddy said...

Edge is Canadian? Legit?