ECW On SyFy Recap

Before the theme music though we open with highlights from last week of Big Zeke winning the shot at Christian's ECW title. While of the two he had more potential than Bad Vlad, and Christian can carry just about anybody to a good match, I personally hope their Royal Rumble bout is SHORT.

Christian and Regal will battle tonight. Wait - didn't I see that on Superstars last week? Never mind! It's time for the Abe Washington Show... but wait! Santino is the host.

"You people are so generous, thank you so much! I'd like to welcome you to the show, I'm your guest host for tonight, Santino Marella. Abe has come down with a pretty serious case of the Castro Laurinaitis of the intestine." Tony Atlas and Santino exchange some "witty" banter before Vladimir Kozlov is introduced. "Relax a little bit, be more comfortable, chillax." Koz kicks his feet up. Santino: "It was important for me to have an immigrant as my first guest, but Yoshi Tatsu was busy, so here you are!"

Koz: "Yes it's true people don't like me so much, cause I was in with a bad crowd." He says he was a member of a Ukranian biker gang for three years. Santino: "Why did you have to stop?" Koz: "Cause someone run over my face!" Atlas starts laughing. The crowd doesn't even care enough to shit on this - they're totally silent. Koz says people stop him in the streets and ask if he's Ivan Drago from Rocky IV. Santino makes him do impressions.

Koz says now that he's an American he likes chili cheese fries, Hanna Montana and 24 hour Wal*Mart. Santino asks Koz to be a tag team with him. "No no no!" Crowd seems 50-50 on the idea if you're being generous. Santino begs, Koz screams NO! Santino says we must be out of time, Atlas says no we have plenty, Santino says no we're done good night! Yoshi Tatsu and Goldust are headed to the ring backstage as we go to break with a promo for the Bayonetta video game.

* Yoshi Tatsu & Goldust v. Trent Barreta & Caylen Croft

Goldie is all over Croft with a dropkick and some deep arm drags. Baretta tags in. Tatsu blind tags for a double team on Goldie's knees. Action spills outside and Baretta gets the upper hand before throwing Tatsu back in and tagging Croft.

Tatsu hits a kick but is intercepted before he can make the tag, and Barreta comes back in. The only way I can really tell these guys apart is that Barretta has the mostly green trunks. Tatsu barely kicks out at 3 - in fact I could have sworn the ref's hand came down 3 times. Mathews and Saxton no-sell it on commentary and the match continues. Baretta hits a forearm to the face, a flying elbow to the heel corner, then tags Croft back in for a near fall. Croft isn't in for long though as the heels are making quick tags. Tatsu finally fires up with chops and pops the crowd but Barreta cuts him off again with a knee to the head.

Tatsu hits a spinning kick though and both men crawl for tags. Goldie gets the hot tag and goes buckwild on Croft! Powerslam for 2 before Barreta makes the save. Ref is busy looking at Tatsu on the outside and misses the gamer geeks double teaming Goldie to get the three count. WINNERS: BARRETA & CROFT. We don't even get a replay of the finish to sort it out - we go to Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendes backstage and promo for The Marine 2.

* Zack Ryder Promo (w/ Rosa Mendes)

Eskimo kisses as usual. Ryder: "A couple of weeks ago, I ended Tommy Dreamer's ECW career, and I named myself the new heart and soul of ECW. Apparently the Hurricane had a problem with that and stuck his nose in my business. What happened Hurricane? You learned the same thing Dreamer did - I'm the man around here. You just can't keep up bro! So from now on I want everybody to refer to me as the new heart and soul SUPERHERO of ECW, Zack Ryder." He brings Savannah up into the ring. She says it and the crowd boos. He encourages her to say it again like she's proud to say it. She does it again with slightly more enthusiasm.

Mendes gets in her face and calls her ESTUPIDA about five times. While she bitches Hurricane hits the ring and takes down Zack, who immediately bails to the ramp. He throws down his headband in frustration as Hurricane's music plays. He leaves the ring and gives Savannah a gentlemanly kiss on the hand, then goes back in the ring to strike a Hurra pose! Teaser for Christian v. Regal as we go to commercial.

Josh Mathews and Byron Saxton run down the Royal Rumble card as we come back from break. We see highlights of Vance Archer feuding with Shelton Benjamin over the last month afterwards. It's only 10:39 PM EST but it's apparently time for our final match already!

* Christian Cage {C} v. William Regal (Non-Title ECW Main Event)

Christian goes to pose in each corner for the enthusiastic peeps before we go to another break. When we come back WWE says text LIVE to 25383 to donate $10 to AmeriCares. Personally I prefer texting HAITI to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross, but as long as you help out I don't care which one you do. Regal makes his way down to the ring flanked by Zeke the Freak on his left. Regal takes his time to stretch out on the ropes before the opening bell.

Christian bounces around on his feet. Regal wins a test of strength to the corner, breaking at 4, and not very cleanly. They tie up again and Regal throws him to the mat. C gets back up and is hit with a gut to the knee and an arm drag. Regal works the left arm but Christian counters to work Regal's left. Regal kips up and tries to trip the left leg but finally settles for a throw into two near falls. Christian gets back up again and hits a monkey flip all while controlling the knuckles of both hands. Regal hits a cheapshot to tryin and get control back, locks around the left leg of C, crowd chants REGAL SUCKS but he doesn't sweep the leg.

Christian with a baseball slide and palms to the face. Regal bails to the floor, Christian comes at the hard camera with a dropkick then goes out to throw Regal back in. Zeke gives Christian the evil eye and he jumps back down off the apron instead of going back to face Regal, and we go to break.

We're back at 10:55 EST with Ring the Bell just five minutes away in the angrymarks.com/chat - the interactive show where YOU the fans can call in or comment on the news of the day! Christian hit a flying crossbody for 2 during the break. Regal gets control with a big boot to the face for 2 as Zeke scowls then sinks in a full nelson. Christian throws his butt to get out and goes for a Killswitch but Regal kicks his calf to cut him off. Another REGAL SUCKS chant as he lays in the chops, then traps the knees of Christian for another near fall. Regal goes for near fall after near fall before grinding on C with a forearm crossface.

Christian tries to go for the Killswitch again and is countered into a belly to belly suplex. Regal throws Christian all the way to the ringpost, goes outside, and kicks C in the face to drive his head into the pole. Back in the ring Regal lays in the ground and pound before another near fall. Another crossface. Christian fights out and gets an inside cradle, then gets up throwing wild shots. Tornado DDT connects. Zeke looks on. 2 count. Christian to the second rope for a missile dropkick that hits. Top rope one misses. Regal backs up to hit the knee trembler but Christian counters into a jackknife bridge for two. Regal gets another near fall too.

Regal eats double boots to the face and a flying elbow to the chin. Christian goes for the Killswitch, Regal blocks, C throws him over the ropes to the floor - and that's Zeke's cue to run in for the attack. CHRISTIAN WINS BY DQ. Regal recovers and gets back in the ring to hit the knee trembler, then Zeke hits the urinage with authority. Christian is left laid out with Regal and Zeke standing over him triumphant, arms raised. That's it for ECW this week!

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