Final Resolution Results

In announcing Hogan’s debut for the live edition of “iMPACT!,” TNA inadvertently painted themselves into a corner. Anything they do before January 4th seems insignificant. Or at least, we know Hogan can erase it all in one fell swoop.

So . . . as we wait for Hogan (and Bischoff and Flair and RVD and Ken Anderson), TNA held a PPV Sunday night in Orlando. Although Final Resolution was an after-thought for many fans, the show delivered good action, and was a passable effort as we all count down the days to January 4th.

Here’s a rundown of the show:

TNA Tag Team Titles: British Invasion vs. Motor City Machine Guns

This was what you’d expect from an opening match between these two teams. Fast-paced action with plenty of high spots, ending with the Brits holding onto the belts.

TNA Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

This was a decent effort, but it was no Deaner-ODB (No Surrender). Tara picked up the victory over One Darling Beauty, making the former WWE Diva a two-time Knockouts champ.

Feast or Fired

Sheik Abdul Bashir was the first to capture one of the 4 briefcases, after wrestling it away from The Deaner. Kevin Nash, Rob Terry, and Samoa Joe were the others to grab a briefcase.

In the end, Nash gets a tag title shot (will this lead to more teasing of a Scott Hall return?); Joe gets a World title shot; Terry gets an X-Division title shot; and Bashir gets canned.

Although I don’t like seeing anyone lose their job, Terry was the one who should have been fired. (Keep in mind – I’m not sure if this stip is a work or not, but I’m operating under the assumption that Bashir is losing his job.) Terry -- by far -- is the least talented male worker on the TNA roster. (Lacey Von Erich qualifies on the women’s side.) He’s just taking a spot from someone more deserving.

Eight Man Elimination Match

This was a throw-away match that the crowd was dead for. In the end, Matt Morgan picked up the win with a Carbon Footprint on Brother Ray.

Hogan has mentioned Morgan by name in interviews he’s done promoting his TNA debut. I expect Morgan to be a big part of TNA’s future.

Last Man Standing Match: Bobby Lashley vs. Scott Steiner

This was a big brawl that went all around the iMPACT! Zone. Lashley won after hitting Steiner with a spear and Steiner’s very own pipe.

Obviously, Lashley couldn’t lose to Steiner on two consecutive PPVs. I wonder, though, what the future holds for Lashley in TNA after signing the deal with Strikeforce.

I think Hogan would have a big role for him, but I doubt he’ll push someone who isn’t 100% committed to the company.

Raven and Dr. Stevie vs. Abyss and Mick Foley

No match exemplified TNA’s holding pattern more than this one. Foley spent the weeks leading up to the PPV hunting down Jeff Jarrett in an attempt to find allies in a likely feud with Hulk Hogan. I thought we put this feud behind us.

Having said that, this match was good for what it was (a weapons match), and was what you’d expect. The highlight came from Foley’s elbow drop off the ramp, through a table on Stevie. Abyss picked up the pin with a Black Hole Slam on Raven.

Three Degrees of Pain: Kurt Angle vs. Desmond Wolfe

Another solid effort from these two. In a surprisingly smart move by TNA, Tenay announced at the start of the match that the two wrestlers weren’t allowed to use the cage as a weapon during the first two falls – this way, Angle and Wolfe didn’t look stupid for not using it.

This allowed the two to work gradually toward the third fall, which included Wolfe spilling a lot of blood, a superplex off the top by Wolfe on Angle, and Angle’s patented belly-to-belly from the top rope.

Angle won the final fall. After subduing Wolfe with the anklelock, Angle climbed over the top of the cage to the floor, while Wolfe was just a few seconds behind trying to escape through the cage door.

TNA World Title: A.J. Styles vs. Daniels

This was a great match that included an awesome finish. A.J. blocked Daniels’ hurricanrana from the top rope, and turned it into a Styles Clash from the middle rope.

My biggest issue from the match was when Daniels essentially no-sold a powerbomb on the outside of the ring. Come on, Daniels, you’re better than that.

I’m glad Styles held onto the strap, and it appears as if an Angle-Styles program is being set up for the January PPV. That’s a good choice for the first title program of the “Hogan era” – new TNA fans will recognize Angle and be impressed with Styles. Moreover, old fans will be satisfied with what should be a great match between two workers who deserve their respective spots.

On a final note (and at the risk of stealing Dan-e-o’s gimmick) . . . Taz is fucking horrible. He’s not an upgrade over Don West, and I said so when TNA made the switch.

Time after time on Sunday night, Taz said stupid shit. There were countless examples of this – I literally lost count and they all seem to blend together in my memory. I do, though, remember him saying that someone’s eyes were “gazed” over.

Taz is like Ricky from Trailer Park Boys or Michael from The Office, except Taz isn’t supposed to be funny.

Actually, he’s not funny when he’s supposed to be funny, and funny when he’s not supposed to be funny. At this point, I’d embrace the rumours that Kevin Nash is pushing for Mark Madden to provide colour for TNA.

Yup . . . Taz is that bad.

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