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Tha Raw Report: Rattled

I don't know if I actually missed the commercials tonight, I think I did. I honestly think I did. Not because the whole commercial free fast paced show thing, but because it gives it a PPV feel, and well, like most PPV's (both companies) it disappoints. Slammiversary went well.

You know what I like most about the E right now? The fact that they're making new stars. Do you know what I hate most about the E right now? The fact that they're not making enough new stars. The Miz and Dolph Ziggler, two decent choices, but make more please.

I can't help but gripe, ah hell, you can't either you're watching the same shit I am. Did anyone notice during the Cody/Primo match that they had a damn countdown to the Last Man Standing match? Now unless the entire show is scripted out, how the hell would they know that? We all know it is, but it's the whole suspension of disbelief thing.

I actually enjoyed seeing John Cena in the ring tonight. The segment he and Miz had wasn't as much of a burial as I expected. Sure he ran down the life of Miz, and made him look like a ass sniffer, but Miz made up for it. I also think that Cena's "rattled" thing could be one of those Jim Mora Coors Light commercials. Playoffs?

I also thouroughly enjoyed seeing Miz slap Cena and high tail it. That was the heel heat that he needs and also the slap to Cena's face that we all wanted to see. Sure Cena will obliteraterize the Miz at the Bash but hell he still got slapped. That made me laugh.

How the hell does Trump fire Santina? That's not fair. Dammit Joan Rivers won the last Celebrity Apprentice and she deserved it, so hell, maybe Santina can get in on the next one. That'd go over big, BIG. Something else, Festus reads the Wall Street Journal on the shitter? You know that's a work, Mad Magazine was in there somewhere.

So yeah, I'm old school, behind on the times, what the hell ever, but I always remember the announcers saying something to this effect before or during championship matches. "You have to beat the champion, the champion doesn't have to beat you." Anyone else remember that shit?

I guarantee they'd use it with the Punk/Hardy match if they wanted to continue the storyline, but when it's Triple H, nah fuck that, let's just drag this shit out for another few weeks to ten months. Whichever one gets H the most belts in the most ammount of time.

Randy Orton didn't beat Triple H tonight, but he has the Championship advantage according to pro wrestling before the last few whenever they want to use it, but more importantly Triple H did not beat Randy Orton.

At the Rumble some years ago, I think in 04 after H and Micheals had their three stages of hell match at Armageddon, and they had a last man standing match and neither man answered the 10 count. What happened? Benoit won the rumble and Michaels got another shot at the gold by hitting Benoit with the SCM and signing the contract instead of Benoit.

With H though, fuck it give him another one, he deserves it, the best part though, Vince gives it to him after he buys the company back from Donald. That my friends is just fucking ironic. Also incredible is the fact that Vince just bought back "Raw" for twice the price he paid for it and his second act after firing Trump is to give H another shot. Fuck me it's smark heaven...well sort of. Hell for me.

One more thing and I'm tapping the hell out. Dan hyphen e hyphen o has more charisma in the third loc from his right ear than Donald Trump has on camera, but dammit the Donald entertains. He was also over as a mother fucker, so yeah let's allow that to last for an entire week.

Sure USA ruined it because there are ignorant mother fuckers that asked if this was legit, but hey, it's a TV show just like Burn Notice, Psych, Royal Pains and Monk, roll with it people, so yeah roll with it WWE, get some celebrity involvment, get whatever. You want ratings that'd do it. This week will be the highest rated show in a while, and now with that over next week will fall back into the low pattern.

My name is DJB and dammit, I'm still helpless in the WWE Universe.

*Jeff Hardy/Khali/Rey def. Ziggler/Jericho/Edge
*Cody def. Primo
*Randy Orton technically def. Triple H
*Mickie & Bellas def. Beth/Maryse/Rosa
*Big Show def. Cena

5 comments: on "Tha Raw Report: Rattled"

Anonymous said...

Man I don't understand all of the negativity. It is wrestling let's just be happy that they even put it on tv. I mean seriously people will complain no matter how good the show actually is. I love wrestling always have and always will. You know I just think like Vince says if you don't like it just change the channel, no one makes you watch it.

Anonymous said...

couldnt agree more over the new stars comment, ziggler is showing mass potentional and the likes of the hardy dynasty and legacy makes good tv.

i also thought the orton hhh match was one of there best, a compliment i dont no but i enjoyed it.

anyone notice a gd few slips tonight? jeff when he came out could of been highly embarissing!

Matt said...

I might just stop watching raw.

"Dammit Joan Rivers won the last Celebrity Apprentice and she deserved it"
-not true. Annie Duke deserved it 100% and the show was fixed for Joan to win it.

Robbie Nekoda said...

That seemed a bit crap, and I'm guessing the press will fall on the fact that their teasing all this ongoing stuff basically just swerved Donald, and new top non-wrestling face for the long term, into being a one-night heel. I honestly thought they were going to have a Raw/SD battle akin to 2001's Flair/Vince.

Also, have Orton and H just double-turned? Vince cut a massive heel promo on Orton, put him in a big match with H and then Hunter jumped him from behind.

Rob Nekoda said...

In addition, I heard a theme starting "I am perfection" and was reet fooked off when Joe Hennig didn't show up.