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5.18.2009

Thing Of Honor - Week 9

Another week of ROH.

The show starts off with the announcers discussing last weeks match between Danielson and Tyler Black. For some reason Ric Flair is going to pick who the number one contender is. Okay, let me start off by saying that I am now annoyed with Flair. I love Flair.

He was one of the most entertaining guys in the sport. But with his recent comments and the fact that he is on both ROH and WWE, I have a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe I think he’s a mole or something. I don’t know. I just don’t like seeing him on both shows.

The first match is Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright. The last time these two went at it Claudio cheated by holding the ropes. Let’s see how the very European Claudio gets out of this one. Brent comes out and tackles Claudio from the start. Claudio is trying to get away but Brent is all over him like a cheap ass suit. Claudio with some hard European uppercuts. I like the announcer playing heel now. He’s not overbearing about it and it doesn’t sound like he’s trying hard. Its coming off natural. Outside of the ring Brent is chopping the hell out of Claudio. Follows up with a stiff kick to the back. Eye rake on the ropes by Claudio.

You just don’t see that done anymore. Overhead belly to belly by Brent sending Claudio flying across the ring. Oops. Missile dropkick misses so Claudio follows up with a bicycle kick. The crowd wants to hate this guy but cant. Claudio gets the crowd to “Hey!!!” for him then tells them to shut up. Chop fest ended by a gut wrench suplex by Claudio. Brent kicked out to the floor and thrown into the barricade. In the ring a eye poke stops a European uppercut battle. Holy shit! A monkey flip by Brent sends Claudio to the floor outside of the ring!

A flying cross body takes Claudio down. I almost choked on my sunflower seeds. Brent goes to the top rope for another cross body for two. Crowbar by Brent but Claudio gets to the ropes. Hot shot stops Brent. Ricola Bomb reversed, blocked, Claudio off the second rope, catches Claudio for an Air Raid Crash for two. Half nelson suplex blocked, kick dodged, roll up by Claudio as he grabs the ropes. The ref sees and stops the count. A tilt a whirl by Brent into a Crowbar. Prince Nana and Dirty Ernie come out. Ernie nails Brent in the face with a show, Claudio with a low blow and a pin for the win. Claudio is about to nail Brent with a Con-Chair-To but Colt Cabana stops it. Claudio laughs as he heads to the back while Brent is left holding his nuts.

Backstage with El Generico and Kevin Steen. Steen has to calm Generico down before he starts his promo. They let us know that the American Wolves are going down. Dark City Fight Club is up next. Wonder who they’re gonna kill this week. Funny how the bigger a Black dude is the more soft spoken he is.

DCFC is taking on Sugarfoot and Grizzly Redwood. H, this is gonna be funny. Sugarfoot is in first and shoved down, no problem. Sugarfoot with elbows that do nothing. Tag to Grizzly while DCFC no sells everything. A flapjack shuts that noise down. Tilt-a-whirl cutter combo is broken up at two. Sugarfoot tags in and gets Pounced! Spilt legged power bomb neck breaker combo ends this one. Fuck, I like these guys even though I cant remember their individual names. These two need some real competition.

Necro Butcher and Delirious with Buzz Words. Jimmy Jacobs with Brodie Lee. They have their own Buzz Words. They show a promo for next weeks tag match with these four guys. Here comes Flair. Let’s see what he has to say.

Flair has someone come to the apron and hold the ropes for him. He says that some things never change and when he gets in the ring someone holds the ropes for him. These guys in the crowd are staring at Flair so hard you’d think they wanted to suck his dick. Some guys shouts that Flair should get a title shot and he screams “I should get it!” Flair brings out Jerry Lynn. Lynn’s theme song sounds like what you’d hear in Hell. Tyler Black comes out to the ring before Flair can announce the winner. And here comes Danielson! Austin Aries now comes on out.

What the hell is going on? Aries tells Flair that while Flair may be the best world champion ever he says that he is the greatest man that ever lived. Flair says that he is impressed with all the men in the ring with him. He said the same shit about Carlito, so, whatever. Flair is using a cue card. Jesus. A fatal four way is announced. That match is going to be awesome!

Kyle Durden is backstage with Kenny King and Rhett Titus. Tutus is a fool, I swear. King is talking about his millions and yachts. For some reason, uh, I don’t believe him. A suit jacket doesn’t make you rich. Sorry.

Jay Briscoe is up in a singles match next vs. Sami Callihan. Somebody is gonna bleed! I am becoming a huge mark for Callihan. His injured ass brother, Mark, comes to the ring with him. “man up!’ chants by the crowd. They are going nuts for this already. Hard shoulder tackle by Jay followed by a stiff ass club to the back and chop. Foot stomp on Callihan. Headbutt by Sami and a chop. Downward spiral by Jay into the turnbuckle. Sliding clothesline by Sami for two. Forearm fest won by Jay until an eye rake stops it. Big boot by Jay followed by a clothesline. Jay Driller kills Callihan for the three! Durden comes to the ring for a quick interview. Mark says that he’ll be back in the ring in no time. Jay says that he has only two words for Durden. The crowd chants “Man up!” Next up is the main event.

Titus and King vs. Steen and El Generico. King comes out wearing a luchador mask. Titus tries to give a chick in the crowd a hotel room key. She doesn’t take it and her man gives Titus the finger. “Ole, ole, ole, ole!” He comes the tag team champs. Titus tries to shut the crowd up.

This is the first handshakes of the night. The thrust is a must! Generico in with Titus. Shoulder tackle on Generico. Arm drags by Generico followed by a ten punch in the corner followed by a running calf kick. Steen tagged in and slams Titus before piggy backing Generico onto Titus for two. Titus gets chopped hard as shit! Titus boots Steen and tags in King. King rushes in only to get slammed. Generico in with King. Droptoe hold by Generico followed by a front flip leg drop by Steen. Kick to the back at the ropes by Titus followed by a diving rope choke by King. Titus tagged in. I like Titus. Even though he has a cheesy ass gimmick he pulls it off well. If only he would stop gyrating his crotch. Inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline by King for two. Titus choking Generico with the ring ropes.

Generico tries to chop his way free but cant. A sweet dropkick by Titus onto Generico for two. Titus thrusts his dick in Generico’s face. Generico with a cross body to take Titus down. King and Steen both tagged in. Steen’s on fire! Flapjack power bomb by Steen into a Sharpshooter that King stops. Ole kick followed by a Swanton by Steen for two! Generico tagged in. Steen tossed outside the ring. Titus atomic dropped from the top rope. Yakuza kicked stopped by King. Superplex stopped but King follows with a high ass kick to the face. Sideslam followed by a splash that is broken at two by Steen.

Steen in with King who gets DDT’s to Hell. Titus on the top rope rubbing his dick in Steen’s face. Ugh. Titus in a tree of woe. Cannonball by Steen onto King. A fucking flipping leg drop by Generico all the way across the ring!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Cradle driver followed by a Brainbuster for the win by the champs.

The American Wolves rush into the ring with chairs. Steen caught in a Sharpshooter. A table is brought in. Generico breaks up the Sharpshooter but gets nailed. A top rope bulldog through the table for Generico! Refs trying to come out. The American Wolves grab the belts and parade around the ring. They continue stomping the champs. Generico is helped out of the ring and Steen is left crumpled as we end this weeks show. Rockets!


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