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Judgment Day Results

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Judgment Day opens with a video package showing Cena's destruction by Big Show, Edge gloating about owning "SmackDown!", Orton and his Legacy crew in the ring, Batista's rage, Big Show standing over a prone Cena, well you get the idea it's video putting over the feuds between these men.

AND NOW, Terminator: Salvation The Video Game presents WWE Judgment Day. Cue the pyros and we're broadcasting LIVE from Chicago. J.R. claims a sellout crowd of 14,822 are in attendance tonight.

* CM Punk v. Umaga

No better way to pop the Chicago crowd than to have their hometown hero come down to the ring first The Pepsi signs are on display all around the build. Todd Grisham and good ol' J.R. will be doing the commentary for this match. Punk poses in the corner with his Money in the Bank briefcase.

We get highlights of his win over Edge three weeks ago, where before he could cash in the briefcase he was attacked by Umaga. Shortly afterward Umaga comes out to his new stereotypical jungle music theme song courtesy of Jim Johnston. Ross says he has no idea why Umaga has so much rage for Punk. I have an idea - Umaga wants to be a champion and feels like he hasn't gotten his shot while Punk has had several.

The bell rings and we're underway! Punk works kicks early. He tries a springboard crossbody and is thrown down with authority to a chorus of boos. A loud CM Punk chant breaks out for just a second as Umaga beats him down in the corner. I'll make a prediction right now - Punk is going to be selling Umaga's offense for at least the next five minutes. Actually it turns out to be about seven, until Punk pulls down the ropes and causing a charging Umaga to tumble out. Umaga gets up and Punk gives him a crossbody to the floor outside.

A couple minutes after that Punk hits him with a bulldog in the ring and follows up for a near fall. Flying off the ropes he crashes into Umaga and gets another 2 and 9/10ths. Umaga gets Punk down and goes for the Samoan Spike. Punk ducks it and hits him with three head kicks, nearly gets him up for the Go 2 Sleep, but Punk can't pick him up and eats a head kick of his own, then a Samoan Spike for the three count. WINNER: UMAGA.

Vickie and Chavo are backstage. The children watching at the bar tonight with their parents boo loudly and I can't hear what she says to Chavito. Big Show gets up from his seat across the room to make his presence known on camera. Show says he understands its business tonight, not personal.

Vickie says if Cena winds up down and out, SOMEBODY else will take her place. Edge comes in. He and Show exchange dirty looks. Edge says I need to talk to MY WIFE and Show steps out of the way. We go to the ECW commentary team of Josh Mathews and Matt Striker, who are showing highlights from Christian's title win at Backlash.

* Christian Cage {C} v. Jack Swagger (ECW World Championship)

Swagger comes out first to a light chorus of boos, whereas Cage gets a very nice pop in Chicago and at DJ's Dugout for his arrival. Tony Chimel gives the big match introduction for each man, and Christian gets another pop after his announcement. He holds up the title belt and smiles like only he can, then hands it off to the ref to show what's at stake. The bell rings and we're underway!

Swagger throws Christian out of the ring in the early going, gives chase on the outside, then hits him with a boot to the gut on the inside. Swagger tries to press slam him but Christian escapes and nearly hits the Killswitch, then signals to Swagger it was THAT close. From there Swagger decides to change strategy and ground Christian to the mat, going back to his amateur wrestling background.

Christian escapes, sends Swagger outside, then jumps out to wipe him out on the floor. WWE has a little trouble with the replay but we finally see Christian's big leap from the corner ropes. When we come back to live action they're both out on the floor and Swagger picks up Christian to throw him ribs first into a steel ringpost. He stands on his ribs to make it worse then throws him back in for a near fall. Swagger wraps his legs around Christian, trying to drive the air out of his body, but Christian reverses and forces Swagger to make a rope break.

He goes back to stomping on Christian's ribs. The fight turns into a slobberknocker for a second until Swagger hits a running knee to the gut and goes for another near fall. Christian gets a knee up when Swagger tries to go top rope. Christian gets up first on the double countout, punches Swagger in the face, but Swagger picks him up and drives him into the turnbuckle. He doesn't let go of Christian and that's a mistake as Christian reverses bulldogs his head to the mat for a near fall.

Christian goes top rope for a diving headbutt but Swagger gets out of the way. Swagger goes for the gutwrench poweromb but Christian escapes. Christian runs from Swagger and slides out, he tries to go top rope, but Swagger catches up and throws him off halfway across the ring for a near fall. Christian is picked up electric chair style but fights free, does a sunset flip off the ropes, but Swagger tries to cradle him for a near fall. Christian avoids a tornado DDT and hits a modified form of it for a near fall. Swagger tries to schoolboy Christian and gets 2.9.

Christian goes for the killswitch and gets blocked into a suplex. Christian gets kicked in the gut and Swagger goes for the gutwrench but Captain Charisma reverses and grabs a handful of tights for the pin, which gets a huge pop from all the kids at the bar! WINNER AND STILL ECW CHAMPION: CHRISTIAN CAGE. The replay shows that Swagger tried to get a handful of tights first, so once again, Christian cheated only as much as his opponent did, but did it BETTER than he did.

Edge leaves Vickie's office and Chavo is waiting to ask him what they discussed. Edge says its none of your damn business. Chavo says it is because she's family, Edge says its not because that's his wife.

Chavo gets all smug and says oh last I heard you two were estranged, and Edge one-ups him by saying last I heard some crossdressing idiot was calling your aunt a pig and you didn't do anything about it SO YOU'RE NOT MUCH OF A MAN NOW ARE YOU. Chavo has no response, he just fumes, and Edge says I've got a world title to go defend.

* Shelton Benjamin (w/ Charlie Haas) v. John Morrison

Morrison has no backup, even though he and The Miz are still doing The Dirt Sheet together. Go figure. Benjamin suplexes him right on his neck to start the match. I don't want to condone this one to popcorn break status, but since there's no diva contest if you need to go to the bathroom now might be the time. Morrison tries to go off the top rope with a somersault to the floor and nearly misses Benjamin altogether by LANDING ON HIS FEET. That's a new one.

Benjamin wisely acts like they crashed into each other and falls down anyway. Haas interferes on his next top rope move and Benjamin kicks him hard to the floor. From here it's Benjamin in control, with Morrison selling his offense for a while. Shoutout to the 300+ who have already read this recap and we're not even an hour into the show yet. I suspect that has a lot to do with the fact so few people are ordering this but whatever the reason you're here thank you for joining us at

Morrison takes a knee to the face and Benjamin keeps on grinding, even as he gets warned by the ref for his bad behavior. Chinlock is applied and Morrison sinks slowly to the ground, with Haas cheering his WGTT partner on. Morrison tries to charge him in the corner and Benjamin gets an elbow in his face, but a dropkick fares much better. Spinning legsweep by Morrison for a near fall. Benjamin hits an inverted backbreaker to ground John again for a two count.

Morrison hits a running knee for a near fall and picks Benjamin up. Morrison tries to head scissor his opponent but Benjamin throws him into the ropes in a spot that looked both sloppy and dangerous. Drop toehold by John into the second turnbuckle. Morrison hits a flying kick after Hass interference backfires and then his Starship Pain (split legged corkscrew moonsault) for three. WINNER: JOHN MORRISON. WrestleMania 25 DVD video package follows.

* Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin

I wasn't aware that The Miz was on the card tonight, so this must be another one of his grandstand challenges. Miz poses to get boos and holds up the mic with his left hand. "I want to recognize the winner of the previous match, Marty Jannety.. I mean John Morrison. This won't be the first time I followed Morrison and topped him.

So lets cut to the chase. I know Cena won't answer one of my challenges tonight. I mean, I'm 3-0, and he has this match with the Big Show tonight." (WHAT? WHAT?) "What what what? You people sound like a bunch of ducks, QUACK QUACK QUACK, shut up!" (YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!) "I haven't heard that one before. Since I can't directly face John Cena tonight, I'm going to challenge someone that can be a substitute for Cena.

I mean Cena is overrated, he's disappointing, yet you all still like him. He's like this lovable loser - MUCH LIKE THE CHICAGO CUBS." Miz is turning the heat meter up to ten. "Speaking of the Cubs look who we have in the audience tonight - someone very Cena-like - the all-star Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano! You know Alfonso after your homeruns you're always doing this." (He does the Cena hand wave.) "It's not you can't see me, it's you can't see a World Series ring as long as you play for the Cubs!

That was cheap, that was cheap I know. I want to apologize, I want to apologize to anybody born before 1948 who actually witnessed a Cubs title. As for you Alfonso if you have a problem with something I said you can do one of two things - one is win a World Series and we all know that's not going to happen, or two you can serve as a Cena surrogate and get in here because YOU CAN'T SEE ME. C'mon, step up!" Miz takes a phone call.

"That was Lou Pinella, he says he'd rather you get your yearly injury on the field than off." Man, Miz is on fire tonight! "Since this isn't going to happen, I guess this is a forfeiture, which means I've done something nobody in the Cubs has done in a hundred years of World Series, and that's win four times. Be jealous Cubs fans! Because I am The Miz, and I am..."

SANTINO'S MUSIC INTERRUPTS. Santino: "I am sorry Fizz. (That's Miz.) Don't get hot with me! I'm not gonna let you keep talking like that no mores! I heard you talk about Alfonso Soriano, and if I'm not mistake, that's a fellow Italian. After the show, we can go out for a little bit of pasta."

Miz complains he's using up his time. "Well I'm here because I notice many WWE superstars are resembling the animal kingdom. For instance Vickie Guerrero, she looks like a pig! And Vladimir Kozlov, he looks like Sam - the American Eagle." Santino throws up a video on the Titantron to prove it. Miz wants to know what he looks like. "That's an easy one Fizz, you're a jackass!" Miz: "That's enough you momma mia pooty fruity.

I have no problem beating you do." Santino: "I hope you brought your metal detector." Miz: "Why?" Santino: "Because I brought some guns and I'm not scared to use them!" Santino poses and kisses his biceps, Miz cheapshots him, and the two start rolling around on the ground punching each other. BOOO each time Miz gets on top, YAYYY any time Santino gets on top.

Finally Miz knocks him down and out, poses like he won something, and his music plays. Chavo runs down to the ring and starts yelling at the prone Santino, then gets a smug look on his face. Chavo hits the ropes and nails him with a frogsplash. "How do you feel now Santino!" Chavo gets a chorus of boos from the crowd. He leaves all cocksure of himself and his music plays. My guess is they're setting up a tag match between Santino and a partner of his choice against Miz and Chavito.

After a video package, Chris Jericho is backstage for an interview. "Conspiracy, many different things, I don't feel that there is I know it. I'm chastized by an inept general manager and reviled by a bunch of parasitic tapeworms. It's an attack on Chris Jericho. I am the most talented performer of my generation but none of these hypocrites have faith in me.

They have faith in Rey Mysterio, a man who gets by on the favoritism of a biased general manager. Oh yeah 6-1-9, 6-1-9." (The crowd obliges with a chant.) "You can scream it all you want but that's as close as you'll get to seeing it. I guarantee there will be a new IC Champion tonight, Chris Jericho, so deal with it."

* Rey Mysterio {C} v. Chris Jericho (Intercontinental Title Match)

Mysterio comes out first and all the kids here are going nuts - it's the loudest they've been all night - so as if there was any doubt as to who his biggest fanbase is DJ's Dugout is trying to prove there should be NONE. Jim Ross reminds us it only took him 21 seconds to beat JBL at WrestleMania 25, and seconds later Jericho comes out to a chorus of boos. We don't get the big match introductions for this one, but I shouldn't be surprised by that.

The bell rings and we're underway! Rey trips Jericho up and goes for the 6-1-9 right away but Y2J rolls out to the floor to avoid it and slowly but surely walks back up the steps into the ring. Jericho dominates for the next minute or two and throws Rey out to the floor, but Rey rolls to his feet on the ramp like hey, whatever dude. Jericho responds by whipping him into the barricade at ringside.

Rey is thrown back in but he gets a kick to the guts of Jericho as he comes back through the ropes, then does a legdrop as he's tied up in the ropes from off the top for a near fall. Rey tries to get back to his feet and go up the turnbuckle, Jericho shoves him off, then kicks him out to the floor as he slowly stands on the apron. Jericho takes advantage of him on the floor then throws him back in for a near fall.

Rey knocks Jericho down for another 6-1-9, the children start screaming with joy, but Jericho stands up and gives him a shoulder toss before he can even get to the ropes or as Ross puts it "he disconnected the call." Jericho drapes Mysterio through the ropes and catapults him into them neck first for another near fall. Jericho sets him up on the ropes to beat on him, Mysterio knocks him off, then leaps off to start his offense rolling and finishes with a crossbody for two. Mysterio drills Jericho in the head with a kick for another near fall.

Y2J whips him to the orner, Rey gets an elbow up, Jericho picks him up, Rey goes for a sunset flip, Jericho goes for the walls, counter and counter until Jericho hits a backbreaker for 2. Jericho starts pounding on Rey in the corner as the ref gives him a warning, and the fans chant 6-1-9. Rey trips him into the ropes but for the third or fourth time Jericho gets out of the way before he can connect, sets up Rey for the walls, and gets flipped out of if by Rey into the ropes again.

Rey goes for the 6-1-9 one more time but Jericho catches him mid spin through the ropes and puts him RIGHT into the Walls of Jericho. The ref asks if he gives up and Rey refuses. Jericho screams and pulls for all he's worth but Rey crawls for the ropes, Jericho drags him back to the center, but in doing so gives Mysterio the leverage to escape and cradle him for a near fall. GREAT MATCH. Mysterio is whipped into the corner but drop toe holds Jericho into the turnbuckle, 6-1-9 around the turnbuckle, and follows up with the springboard flying dive and gets the cover for three!

WINNER AND STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: REY MYSTERIO. I don't know about in Chicago, but here at DJ's Dugout that was the loudest pop of the night by far. Even the adults started a SIX-ONE-NINE chant after his big win. Orton v. Batista is next!

* Randy Orton {C} v. Dave Batista (WWE Championship Match)

Orton is out first, and Batista is out second. It's 9:32 EST as Batista arrives at ringside. 682 hits so far tonight, and thank you all for reading. Be sure to check out the AngryMarks Podcast Network after the show if you're a first time reader. Lilian Garcia does the big match introductions.

Batista is all power moves and near falls early. Batista winds up on the apron and Orton dropkicks him to the floor. Orton goes to work outside and throws Big Dave back in for a near fall. Orton strikes a pose over the prone Batista to whip up the crowd. Eventually Orton knocks Batista down and goes for the soocer kick of doom but Batista gets up and spears him in mid-air before he can get there and BOTH men are down.

When they both get back up it's a slobberknocker of punches in the ring before Batista throws him into the corner and hits shoulders to the gut. Batista scroops him up and slams him down for 2.5. Batista eventually gets the upper hand and goes for the Demon Bomb, and while I was distracted for a moment Orton got DQ'd for slapping the ref after a failed RKO and all of Legacy ran out.

They start to beat up Dave Batista, WOOOOO Ric Flair's music hits and he runs down to the ring to make the save. The dynamic duo from Evolution beat them up and send them packing! Legacy flees as Flair and Batista celebrate in the ring. Video package of Cena being thrown into the spotlight follows so Big Show v. Cena must be next.

* John Cena v. The Big Show

There's at least three minutes of stalling to start this match as Cena and Show circle each other looking to get into range. Eventually it breaks down into Show clubbing Cena as hard as he can and Cena selling like he's hurt from going through the spotlight all over again. Cena momentarily escapes when Show picks him up and throws punches, but Show catches him for a side slam and a near fall. Some of the people at the bar are chanting BOR-ING and I can hardly blame them.

When the action spills out to the floor Big Show hoists Cena up and slams him into the steel post. I think I saw this same spot in a match earlier. In fact I'm sure I did, to progress an injury angle with the ribs being hurt. Cena gets his second wind and tries to charge Big Show, and he just casually tosses him aside when one hand when he comes running. Next Show hits him with one of those "fryin' pan hands" chops. Cena gets the boots up when Show charges the corner, tries to jump off the ropes, but Show puts him in a bear hug. YES, A BEAR HUG SPOT.

Earlier Bahana was asking in the AngryMarks Chatroom how many beers I needed to get through the Batista match. If I was going to drink during a match, this would've been the one. Cena finally gets a comeback off a diving chop block, eventually leading to Show being out on the mat to eat a You Can't See Me patented Five Knuckle Shuffle.

Cena tries to go to the STFU but Show escapes. Show comes off the ropes with 500 pounds of weight and Cena sells like he was crushed. Show goes up the ropes for a second splash in the opposite corner but Cena rolls out of the way and goes for the STFU while Show is on his knees. Show kicks him off through the ropes to the floor. Cena spears him on the apron, kicks him in the head, and does a flying leg drop. Try as he might though he can't get Show into that STFU.

Big Show puts a boot to his gut and picks him up for a powerbomb but Cena ends up falling forward face first instead. Show shakes off the cobwebs but he's already up to his knees as Cena is face down in the canvas, and eventually he sticks a big paw up and balls it into a fist. Show charges at him with the punch, Cena catches him and herks him up for the Attitude Adjustor, slams him down and gets the three count! WINNER: JOHN CENA. As if anyone was surprised by that?

* Edge {C} v. Jeff Hardy (World Heavyweight Championship Match)

Edge out first, Hardy second. Big match introductions for both men, opposite order. Edge kisses the title, although he's definitely hoping he's not kissing it goodbye. Edge is getting the better of the match early, stretching out Jeff every chance he gets, but Jeff manages to fight out and go for a Twist of Fate that Edge cuts off by slamming Jeff's head to the mat.

Jeff kicks out after two. Edge punches Jeff in the back of the head, whips him off the ropes, but Jeff ducks a clothesline and hits a crossbody for two. It's back and forth for the rest of the match, with Jeff gradually getting closer and closer to getting Edge down for three. Jeff goes to the top rope and Edge throws him off with a superplex that nearly finishes it. Jeff recovers and hits Edge with a Whisper in the Wind off the ropes for a near fall.

Jeff goes for the Swanton but Edge gets out of the way. Edge goes for a spear and Jeff gets out of the way! Who's going to get the big move at the end? It's the Rated Rrrrrrrr, Superstarrrrr who finally pulls it off with a top rope impaler DDT, and Edge gets the last fall for a three count. WINNER AND STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: EDGE.

Well that's all she wrote for Judgment Day. No titles exchanged hands, and I honestly didn't expect any to. Thanks for reading our live recap, thanks to all the fine people at DJ's Dugout, including the kitchen staff for cooking up a nice juicy cheeseburger with fries that was only $4.99 (I guess that's the new Sunday night "economy sucks" special) and our server for constantly refilling my Diet Coke.

It may have been a meaningless PPV in the grand scheme of things but at least it wasn't a BAD PPV. I enjoyed every match and all of the segments made sense, so that's a very cautious "good if you didn't spend $40 to see this" two thumbs up from me. G'night everyone!

2 comments: on "Judgment Day Results"

Anonymous said...

i missed it last night, great to read the recap


Anonymous said...

for sure a good recap
thank god casurs finally gone