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1.20.2009

Finish Him!

Admit it. You only bought Smackdown Vs. Raw 2009 for one reason. The Canadian Destroyer.

Finishing moves have been what made or broke a lot of superstars. Since I was little I would wait to see The Iron Claw, The Perfect Plex, and The Sharpshooter. Nowadays finishers look like something out of Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter. Is slamming someone down not good enough anymore?

Of course not. I’m just as guilty as the next guy. When me and my friends first saw The Canadian Destroyer we nearly shit ourselves. We rewound the tape over and over trying to figure out how that move was possible. It was new and looked like it could kill you. For years we watched as moves that used to end a match become common place. Gone are the days of super kicks, DDT’s, and spine busters finishing guys off. Now you have to kill yourself in the process of killing an opponent to make fans happy.

Enter YouTube.

Good God. Its not hard to find any list of the best finishers in wrestling or the most deadly. Some of the moves happen so fast that I don’t know what it does. Or some submissions that look like they cause more pain to you than the guy you’re trying to make tap out. One of my favorite finishers is The Cattle Mutilation. Though I cant think of a situation where I could apply it I would love to try it.

And then there are some finishers you couldn’t pay me to try. Like El Generico’s Brainbuster. Fuck that. That move should go down with The Pepsi Plunge as things that should be discussed like a Marvel Comics “What If…?” After seeing moves like that there is no way to follow it up unless you do something even more dangerous. Not cooler: dangerous. Look up The Kawada Driver. it’s the same move that Brock did on “accident” to Hardcore Holly and put him out with a neck injury.

I threw Kawada in there to make a point. Many people scream about how better wrestling is in Japan. They have made the deadliest moves in wrestling ever. People go there to create deadly moves or steal them. Jushin “Thunder” Liger wont even do half the shit he created. Droz is in a wheelchair because the recently released D’Lo Brown dropped him incorrectly trying his running powerbomb. It has gotten to the point where in 10 years someone will have to throw you through a flaming table that has a child underneath covered in barbed wire and tacks to end a match. Is there a happy medium?

We all know that the WWE has supposedly changed their style so that superstars don’t get injured as often. Yeah. Let me translate that. Less dangerous moves equal “Get your shit in as fast as possible in a couple of minutes thereby upping the chance of an injury occurring.” If the new method is supposed to prolong careers why are guys getting hurt more often? You look at TNA (or maybe you don’t) and guys are flying off of crossbeams, hitting guardrails, and flying off of cages. They aren’t missing for a year hurt. Unless you’re Kazarian and being hurt is like breathing or you’re Kurt Angle and you’re just too damned stubborn to quit.

I say ban multiple finishers in a match that isn’t main event. You get DDT’d you stay down or the ref gives you a fast three count. If you’re in a submission for more than five seconds the ref calls for the bell Montreal style. I watched an old match with Bret Hart vs. The Berserker and he didn’t tap but the ref called for the bell.

Oh, yeah. Kanyon invented tapping out in wrestling.

Moves I think should be banned for being too lame or too dangerous.

1. The Angle Slam (its just a Samoan Drop at this point)
2. The Pedigree (Unless Cham Pain starts giving classes on how to take this move)
3. GTS (Punk has ruined that move)
4. The Stroke (one of the most lame moves in wrestling)
5. Scorpian Deathdrop (this move should not end any match let alone one for a title anymore)


12 comments: on "Finish Him!"

Robbie Nekodaplex said...

Thanks Christ. I read the first part of this article and thought it was going to say the exact opposite to what it really does, ie that flashy moves are better.

Don't get me wrong, I know kayfabe is dead and I know the CD is quite the spectacle, but it crosses the line of suspending your disbelief.

And personally, I loved the days when a DDT was hugely devastating. People say you could never go back to that, but if companies were to put a lot of work in, you could phase out all the "superhero" stuff and build DDTs, spinebusters and suplexes back up to their former glory. More believable product, less injuries.

Anonymous said...

The Angle Slam really isn't a finisher anymore, it's a set-up move for Kurt in most of his higher level matches.

The pedigree is over and basically is connected to the bone with HHH, so it ain't going anywhere.

GTS is fine and to the casual fans, it's over as hell and every match where it's hit it "finishes" the match as a finisher should do and be perceived to do.

The Stroke sucks, and has always failed with it's unover setup and execution.

Scorpion Deathdrop is just badly outdated, and used to be quite over. Now, not so much.

Dante Ross said...

The last time I recall the DDT being held of any sort of importance was when Raven claimed to have inherited from Jake Roberts. Cody Rhodes was using it as his finisher until recently. I have been DDT's and the last thing I could do afterwards was jump up or move.

Now, I still like some flashy ass moves but not when there are too many and people kick out. Most of the things cruiserweights do should end matches. Its all about prolonging careers. Jeff Hardy will not be doing Swantons at a reunion show 10 years from now. But Matt will be doing Twist of Fates. I still cringe when HHH does the Pedigree on account of his knees and quads. But I know I can count on Orton kicking folks in the head for the next 15 years. That move is the perfect example of less being more.

Downtown said...

The DDT should comeback but the deathdrop is outdated? Your crown is much more able to take a blow than the back of your head. Don't get me wrong, I love the ddt but the deathdrop is fine.

Punk should go back to his submission he used when he debuted, but the GTS offers nothin but a black eye in the worst case scenario. It's safe and people like it.

My issue in the finisher catagory is that Tag Teams no longer have finishers. I remember me and my cousin pullin off the doomsday device back in the schoolyard, (then to the principal's office) back when tag teams were over. MnM2 are awesome but have no two man finisher, neither do cryme tyme or the colons.

Keep the Angle Slam, ban the FU.

Bukkake Devil said...

Of the five moves you listed, 4 of them looked better when a chair was involved.

I think a discussion regarding how a match should properly build to the end, would help people understand the finisher.

Another problem I see is that with the competition of PPV dollars from MMA, wouldn't finishers that look realistic be more of what you would want.

Here is something for the WWE, the Regal-Punk match from 01/20/2009. While I appreciate the end where Regal put in the extra effort showing that Punk's GTS was something he did not want to receive, I hated the whole cross body miss spot. If they would have gave a few more seconds to allow Punk to sell the miss, with Regal motioning Punk to get up for the knee attempt, it wouldn't have look like shit. If they keep that crap up, stop calling moves like that high risk.

Matt said...

Can someone tell me how the hell you do a Canadian destroyer on Smackdown vs Raw 09. I cant find it. I have the game for the Wii

Dante Ross said...

Christian's reverse DDT (the diving one) looks better than Sting's. He no longer put any snap into it and it comes across as him (Sting) just falling down with you.

The death of tag teams, let alone their finishers, is a whole 'nother article, Downtown. Cryme Tyme used to have a finisher together but just stopped. Probably after the trouble when they hit that ref with it and got canned. It wasnt that awesome to begin with. But the fcat that they are a combo of a big ass dude and a little fast one leaves the ways to do a good finisher wide open. They just havent taken advantage of it.

The GTS ending was really rushed last night. Regal's knee is another good, simple finisher. It doesnt take an hour to set up and can be done at a moments notice.

And I always say ban the FU. Its Wendi friggin' Richters old move.

srr said...

it aint on the wii guy since there is now create a finisher.

are you a wrestler ross? just wondering.

i think its kind off too late to go back to those types of finishers, just like you cant really go back to one hit chair shots as a finish. but they still make good moves, triple h i think does good with this since he has the AA spine buster and the pedigree is a good finisher in which it does feel like the old finishers since its a good impact move, but you dont have to do much.


but i hate some indys that just do moves and dont shit at selling or always kick out of them. see the shelly/sabin match at the ppv or any of the indys tag team title defenses.

Zyrone said...

Hey Dante, I just watched Shelley vs Sabin and I got a question that's kinda off the subject. Back in the day, tag teams were promoted as being two guys who knew each other inside and out. They knew each others strengths and weaknesses. And if ever pushed into a singles match against each other, would make for pretty much a stalemate unless one does something out of the norm. After watching said match, I got the overwhelming feeling that this was a match between two guys who knew each others style(the fast paced, lite sell, Japanese spot fest) like the back of their hands. The question I ask is what was the problem with that being the tone of that match? I understand that it goes against what a true fan wants to see, but wasn't that what brought TNA up anyway?
Great article by the way and thanks for posting it.

Dante Ross said...

No, SRR, I am not a wrestler. I just run my fake Living Room Wrestling on myspace. Me and a friend got sick of bitching about wrestling and decided to make something up ourselves. No matches, just promos. I run it alone now and play almost everyone. Gotta get my shit in, right?

I believe that its never too late to go back to something. They always say fans have a short memory and forget shit. I have never understood that belief. Wrestling fans have the BEST memory and thats why we get upset at most of what we see now. How many NBA, NHL, MLB, or NFL players can I name just by their photo? Not many. But I can tell you about guys that I havent seen in the ring since I was 4. You can make chairshots mean something again by not using them so often. Same goes with moves. Make things mean something but doign them less often. Remember when piledrivers were banned? Then when Austin tried one on Angle it was like "Oh, shit, he's gonna kill him!" The piledriver meant something once again because it wasnt being whored out weekly.

Thanks, Zyrone. I cant speak for anyone else but what got me into TNA was that it was different. I had only seen clips of most of the roster or read about them in magazines. I'd read the PWI 500 and not know who the hell most of them were until seeing TNA. It used to actually be total nonstop action. Now it reminds me too much of WCW as it died down. There's too much talent on that roster to not put on a great show. But they manage to somehow.

The problem I have with a match such as Shelley's and Sabin's is that Shelley for a fact is better than that. He can have a great match without leaving the ground. Dude has some awesome ass skill on the mat but we wont see it. Having a team split isnt new. But when they face each other it has to mean something. When the Hardy's did it, well, it sucked and there was no effort put behind it. But I remember so damned clearly when HBK turned on Janetty. I screamed for my brother to see what had happened! Having a team fight for a singles title makes no damned sense anyway.

Zyrone said...

Thanks for responding man. I really do appreciate it especially since the last time I tried posting a question I was called a queer by some dude.

Dante Ross said...

No problem, Zyrone. I dont write articles to start shit with folks. And I wont call you queer unless I see you with a wang in your hand that doesnt belong to you. Even then I doubt I would call you queer. I'm not here to start shit. Just get people talking about wrestling and things they enjoy about it or what they'd like to see. And whoever called you queer is likely snapping towels or playing grab ass somewhere right...now.