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Tha Raw Report

Those who do not learn from history's mistakes are bound to repeat them. Ask any history teacher why history is important to know, and they'll more than likely give you that answer. What relevance does this have to professional wrestling, and, more directly, last night's "Raw"? Plenty.

I'm not even talking about being an obscenely devoted wrestling fan who spends every ounce of his day studying the game. The observations that I'm alluding to are ones that can be seen by anyone who's actually paying attention to what's going on, rather than clapping aimlessly at bright lights on their screen.

History lesson number one involves the promoting of a big show. Survivor Series is this Sunday. I have to absolutely commend WWE creative on the job they did promoting this Sunday's show. All but one match last night were previews of Survivor Series, and the odd man out (Batista vs. Manu) could easily be considered a preview as well, since Manu will more than likely be in Cody Rhodes' corner on Sunday. Survivor Series usually gives WWE a little more leniency in what they can give away on television, and it's nice to see that they're used that to their advantage this year. I think the card seems a little bit like a random mishmash, but that's a separate issue.

This is either an instance of someone backstage learning from the horrible promoting mistakes of past pay-per-views, or WWE falling into an absolute idiotproof situation, but either way, I'm happier than Rickety Cricket feeling up Sweet Dee (style points for anyone who gets that reference). If I were to base my decision solely on last night's "Raw", I would purchase this Sunday's pay-per-view hands down, without question.

I can't be all positive though. Last week on Tha O Show, Donnie said that Chris Jericho and John Cena have no history between each other, and therefore their match will not be compelling. Um, excuse me? How about Vengeance 2002, where a green John Cena earned his first WWE win against Chris Jericho, in a win that humiliated Jericho. How about SummerSlam 2005, when Cena beat Jericho, and then cost Jericho his job two weeks later. How hard is it to cut a promo and say "You've been after me ever since you got here, and you thought you got rid of me, but you didn't, and now I'm going to get rid of you", or something along those lines? Use history in your favor, WWE.

You really mean to tell me that it's that hard to bring up those two little events? With the way that Jericho is trying to play the "everyone is against me" card, bringing up such old angles plays into his character perfectly. And it's not like this is something out of the realm of what Jericho does, because if I had a dollar for every time Jericho brought up beating The Rock and Stone Cold in one night, I could easily afford to have Evo fully cater the Ontario Indy Wrestling Awards on 1/9/09.

Not to mention, it's a far more plausible central storyline as opposed to, "John Cena's coming back in Boston and he's getting a title shot". Well, he's had title matches in Boston before (SummerSlam 2006), and he's had comebacks before (Royal Rumble 2008). Again, even those with a loose grasp of history realize this isn't as groundbreaking as they make it out to be.

I get the feeling that on a card that doesn't have a real standout main event, that this match will be the main, and for a champ who's hit or miss on getting heat, this feud has really put his back against the wall. Jericho, as the champion, has somehow managed to be an afterthought. Is Cena over to the point where that's a good idea? No.

So Dolph Ziggler got fired, and is already back on "Raw". Forget the "Honk-A-Meter", this guy needs a "Mick-O-Meter" to see how many times he'll part ways with WWE and then come back. Actually, on that tip, team him with Santino, and then they can both talk about how much better they are than "Akorn". Santino can even beat me in a battle rap. Sonamagun.

John Morrison's Superkick is dope. I get that he's used it lately as a tell-off of HBK, but he does it remarkably well, and it looks mad stiff, so I hope that he keeps that move around for a while, because I am a mark for Sexy Chin Music, as I am officially dubbing it. As for Rey...I jumped off the Rey bandwagon after seeing him live at The Great American Bash in 2005, so both he and The Miz could have not been involved in this match and I would not have shed a tear. Oh, damn...a Morrison/Michaels feud? I just popped.

What the hell use is a Lumberjack Match anymore? I can't remember the last time WWE put out a Lumberjack Match that I was actually entertained by, largely because every one is, to a vast extent, a carbon copy. Melee breaks out amongst the Lumberjacks, and sometimes this allows for a clean finish, and other times, it leads to there being no finish. I'm so done with them. I'm tapping on WWE using that gimmick match ever again.

Overall, I felt that this "Raw" was remarkably solid, maybe that's because I was flipping back and forth between "Raw" and Monday Night Football (Wide Right II in Buffalo...excellent, I loved watching Jim Kelly's face because I fucking hate that guy). Either way, "Raw" did its job of entertaining me and getting me excited about the upcoming pay-per-view. I have high expectations that this Sunday's show will deliver.

Tha Results:
*Randy Orton def. CM Punk in a Lumberjack Match
*Matt Hardy vs. William Regal ended by a double count-out
*JBL & Kane def. Cryme Tyme
*The Miz & John Morrison def. Shawn Michaels & Rey Mysterio
*Batista def. Manu
*Kelly Kelly def. Victoria

4 comments: on "Tha Raw Report"

Downtown said...

Not even a Dr. Greg House dose of vicodin topped with a monster bong hit would've made Raw good last night.

Two matches had potential last night, but one lasted a good minute while the other was doomed with the lumberjack gimmick.

Kellyx2 would suck on Hogan's CCW crapapalooza, but somehow she's a real player on Monday nights. She'd make more money and be thought of with much more regard, if she just spun around a brass pole a couple nights out of the week.

No love for last week's A show, SmackDown? Or even TNA?

Matt said...

Think I'll be the only one in Boston booing Cena? or wearing a yankees hat?

CJF said...

Agreed, where's the SmackDown! review? I thought that show was damn solid, and I'm digging Jeff Hardy's new "no more Mr. Nice Guy" attitude.

With that hat, you may be the only one exiting the Garden in a stretcher. ;)

Jeff said...

SmackDown was last week's A Show and it probably will be this week as well.