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10.13.2008

That's Needlessly Asinine's Bound For Shame

By TNA standards, glory is apparently that kinda cute girl that you think you can be down with until they start talking about kids on the first date. I say this because, despite being named Bound For Glory, they did everything possible to farther themselves from glory.

The night wasn't entirely bad. There were a few decent matches, and there was some booking that I agree with, but for the most part, the show left me with a bad taste in my mouth and the general feeling that TNA can't be consistent, even when they're determined to put their best foot forward.

Jay Lethal won the Steel Asylum Match...or was it the Steel Matt Burns Match? While I appreciate Lethal paying his dues over the past two years, does the Black Machismo gimmick do anything for him anymore? No! No! No! That gimmick has flatlined, and it's time to start over fresh with him. Unveiling a new gimmick and having him go over in this match makes sense. Having him keep his old gimmick and going over is an idea that I'd like to piss on. Okay, enough Asylum references...but seriously, enough with a gimmick that's starting to grow stale.

Rhaka Khan, ODB and Rhino beat the team of the Beautiful People and Kip "I really don't wanna be here but I need a paycheck" James. With the belt being involved in other storylines, this could manifest itself into a nice feud to keep all four females busy. I don't understand why Rhino of all people in involved, though. Seriously, Rhino's a legit main eventer, he's a former champion, why hasn't this guy been used in more important spots in the past few years? Give that spot to a younger guy who could use a rub.

If Consequences Creed isn't that over as a face, then now is not the time to put the title on him. I will get into that later, but for now, much credit to TNA for having the big heel win again in big heel fashion by planting his feet on the ropes. With how good this guy is at getting heat, he may very well drive a plane to the ring one of these days. Does TNA have any upcoming pay-per-views in Manhattan?

Taylor Wilde retained her title. I know I'll get plenty of fan mail from Dante Ross when I say this, and as much as I hate to say anything that appeases that ign'ant Kimbo Slice wannabe The Black Prophet, Awesome Kong should be given another run with the belt. She's not the most athletic female on the roster, but damn does she get over as a heel when the ball is given to her. I say this already feeling that Kong is going to be given the belt again within a few months, and that was why she was put into this Triple Threat and didn't win or eat the pinfall. Why isn't Roxxi doing her voodoo gimmick anymore though? That was over, but now she really doesn't have any gimmick.

Another heel c
hampion getting another heel win, Beer Money retained their titles by pinning Hernandez. To me, this seals the deal that LAX is getting split up very soon, and I'm just fine with that. Hernandez as a singles star will sell just as much merch as the LAX tandem did. I love the fact that TNA says that they want to feature less violence and weapons in Abyss matches, and then prove their point by having him a.)Compete in a Monsters Ball match, and b.)Go through a flaming table. Continuity is seemingly the crabgrass in the weed-infested lawn of TNA.

Booker T won. Does anyone else get the feeling that either Cage or Styles is going to turn heel very soon? While it's probably short-sighted to turn someone face, then turn him back heel within a span of a year, I'd give TNA a bligh if they turned Cage heel again. He's a great heel, and as a face he's getting lost in the shuffle. You paid good money to get this guy, you might as well use him right.

Jeff Jarrett made his in-ring return. God bless that man for everything he's gone through in the past two years, to be able to not only continue to provide for his kids, but then to come back to wrestling and still perform at a high level. Despite what people may say about his politicking in TNA past, there's no arguing that TNA is where it is now because of what Jarrett did both on and off camera.

Jarrett is now at the point in his career that Shawn Michaels was at in 2002. Nobody in their right mind would have ever criticized this guy from walking away. Cancer is nothing to fuck around with. Having a loved one be diagnosed with it can suck the life out of even the hardiest individual. Losing a loved one to cancer is infinitely worse. Despite that, Jarrett's still back, and I think it's a tremendous thing for TNA.

On the flip side, this match leads me to believe that Kurt Angle and Mick Foley will have a match at some point down the road. I think this match could also help TNA greatly, provided they do it right. Some schmuck on some radio show argued a few months back that Mick Foley was part of wrestling's most successful period, and having him in the ring might bring back fans from the old days, and I concur. Which is all the more reason TNA needs to do this right, because they will get one chance to do that with Foley's first TNA match, and if they blow it, that opportunity to have Foley increase TNA's ratings will be over quicker than a first date with Dan-e-o.

Sting is the champion. WHY?! Can ANYONE give me a plausible reason as to why Sting is the champion? Rhetorical question, because I can give you a platitude of reasons why he shoul
d not be. So, consider this "Chris Casúr's Top 5 Reasons Why TNA Booking Is Knee."

-This marks the third straight year that Sting has won the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Bound For Glory (or as Donnie seems to be obsessed with calling it, Bound For Gloryhole...he seems to like talking about those a little too much, I'm just sayin'). The last two times, he held the title for a month, and two weeks, respectively. So is anything going to come of this win? Probably not, which takes a lot of shine off of the belt, the match, and the show itself. You're basically saying "this win means little because blink and he'll have lost the title already."

-Sting is currently involved in the beginning of a major storyline, in which he is associated
with the heel faction. But he's a face. TNA realizes that Sting's promos will not turn him heel, so they decide to keep him as a face anyway. Now, the guy who is supposed to be a heel figurehead is still a face, and is being given the championship.

-Expanding on that, I get what TNA is trying to do. The big bad heels who hate the TNA originals are trying to keep the TNA belt away from them. That makes perfect sense. But then put the belt on a heel then! Otherwise, if Sting tries to act heel, his storylines becomes clusterfuckish, and if he acts like a face, then the old school vs. new school storyline because clusterfuckish. There's no good way out of that.

-Sting does not help the ratings enough to justify giving him the big win three years straight. Yeah, Final Resolution 2006 where he returned had the highest buyrate in TNA history, but since then, he hasn't made much of a dent in the ratings. He's not your version of Hulk Hogan, where he can win the big one every year and fans will still love it, it's becoming old that the same thing happens year after year. Two years straight was fine, three years straight is bordering on overkill.

-Dan is way too short (sorry, bro, I covered everything I wanted to in those four paragraphs, but I needed a fifth one).

Sting is the champion again, which makes no sense and does nothing to help TNA. And if I know TNA, he'll probably face Jeff Jarrett for the title at the next pay-per-view. Shoot your load off again, TNA. A slow burn? What the hell is that?

Tha Results:
*Jay Lethal won the Steel Matt Burns Match
*Rhino, ODB, and Rhaka Khan def. The Beautiful People and Cute Kip
*Shiek Abdul Bashir def. Consequences Creed to retain X Division Championship
*Taylor Wilde def. Awesome Kong and Roxxi to retain Knockouts Championship
*Beer Money def. LAX, Team 3D and Matt Morgan & Abyss in Monsters Ball to retain Tag Team Championship
*Booker T def. Christian Cage and AJ Styles
*Jeff Jarrett def. Kurt Angle
*Sting def. Samoa Joe to win TNA World Heavyweight Championship.


16 comments: on "That's Needlessly Asinine's Bound For Shame"

tna god said...

fuck you chris tna was good asshole

Anonymous said...

^^^cogent argument

D.J.B. said...

Tha O Show covers TNA? I work here and I didn't know that. I thought the idea of Tha O Show was to put the best possible product out.

Great article. The absolute best thing in the article, and the most true though "-Dan is way too short"

Christopher Casúr said...

Really? You're still around? Weren't you following me around last year leaving "fuck you raw was good asshole" after every raw report I did? In that whole year that has since passed, you have not yet managed to find either a girlfriend or a hobby? Really?

Blow me. Or, better, yet, the next time you want to say that TNA is good, why don't you give me specific counterpoints to what I said.

D.J.B. said...

Leave him alone Hammer. He's doing what he's paid to do.

I don't know why Jeff Jarrett's is hiring people to come on Tha O Show and take up for his product, because that money would be much better spent finding a decent replacement for Vince Russo, Dutch Mantel and well, Jeff Jarrett or whoever else is writing this junk.

P.A. said...

Ok a few things about B.F.G.

I am a huge T.N.A. fan, partly because I feel that their roster can outshine the fed if (ever) done right, and also partly because I've grown sick of vinnie mac. With that said there's my thoughts about the ppv.

Overall good show, not worth the extra money they charged for it but still decent. I say that because since they up'd the cost for it, I was truly expecting something dramatic.

The Steel Asylum was better than the 1st one they had. There was some sick bumps, and the fact that it was the curtain jerker was probably the best thing tna could have done with the match. I think Dutt should have gone over though.

The 6 person Bimbo Brawl was hardly a brawl. I thought they hyped those things as the womens hardcore matches. Btw, anyone else miss Moose now.

I can understand Creed not going over, it keeps him in the title hunt and keeps the "middle eastern nightmare" with some serious heat.

The womens title match was good, I only complaint was that it was that was too short.

On the reverse side I was surprised by how long they let the Monsters Ball go for. And my gf pointed something interesting out. When did they change the rules with the M.B. and not put the guys in undisclosed areas for 24 hours without food, and light.

Booker T went over. Good match, I'm sure the 3 will fight again something soon.

Jarrett hasn't lost the touch and he's still in good shape. He might not be the greatest wrestler but he earned his resect. Better than the days he was jobbing to Chyna.

I understand why they gave Sting the belt. It's a transitional phase. Joe is gonna feud with Nash, and to be honest that feud doesn't need to be about a belt. That could be such a good feud that having it be for the belt would be useless. I say that either on the next ppv or the one after that Sting loses the belt. Oh and a note about the match. When the hell did it become a last man standing. I have never seen a match where the ref would count the guy out, but in the same match count for pinfalls. Way to change the rules and not even make a reference of it.

I still enjoyed it and I hope they can still improve when they go to H.D. Maybe they will take that seriously.

tna god said...

chris dont like then bite me asshole

Anonymous said...

^^^almost a sentence

Christopher Casúr said...

tna god-
If you'd rather take that road, then fine. Kill yourself. Tie cement blocks to your shoes, stand on top of a very tall bridge, hold a gun up to your temple, and SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

srr said...

both of you guys sound sad.

Anonymous said...

^^^tough but fair

Christopher Casúr said...

srr-
I'm much more partial to intelligent debate, but for the past year, this clown has done nothing but toss insults with no arguments to back himself up, so I'm not above fighting fire with fire. I don't think Bound For Glory was very good considering it was supposed to be TNA's biggest pay-per-view of the year, and I'm more than willing to back that statement up. However, that means that if you want to disagree, you better have a reason, instead of a waste of space like "tna god".

D.J.B. said...

Fighting fire with fire only makes more fire. I tried it the other day in my yard. Doesn't work out.

If you really want to know where TNA stands look no farther than Kip James. He is Cute Kip ok. Nuff said.

romello said...

WoW! Where do i begin. Putting the belt on Sting? JJ using his Dead wife to put his character over? Foley being signed? TNA is starting to scare the shit out of me with how BAD the idiots in charge are. They have an incredibly talented roster,but they have no fucking clue how to write for these guys or how to put on an entertaining product. As much as Raw sucks right now,it's still miles above the weekly clusterfuck that TNA puts on and that proved itself last night. After watching that colossal hunk of shit,i felt like my eyes had been raped! Whoever put this shit together,needs to be sodomized with a Mini Cooper.

D.J.B. said...

Romello, that paragraph is dead on

Mr. Del Negro said...

Hi. Dolph Zigler. Future TNA "star".