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Tha Raw Report: Judgment Bound

Last night was the final "Raw" before Judgment Day. They seemed to downplay it an awful lot. Although I can't really say that I'm surprised, since the card seems lackluster at best. But that's irrelevant for the time being, as we first had to get through Monday night before getting to the pay-per-view this Sunday.

William Regal again started off the show, which was awesome. Regal knows how to generate pure hatred and pure heat, an art that is largely lost among many heels these days. Regal is, hands down, the best heel on "Raw" currently (sorry JBL marks).

To get the crowd going, Regal first had Lillian Garcia start the show by singing "God Save The Queen", and then went and randomly ejected two fans, which just happened to be the brother of Mickie James and his boyfriend. Mickie came out and pleaded with Regal not to let them go, to which Regal threatened to strip James of her title.

Now, just to illustrate how over Regal is a heel, Cena then came out and actually got a mild pop from the crowd. Of course, he went and blew it by again overly pandering and being about as edgy as a dull butter knife. In the end, we were given Orton vs. Cena as the main event. Okay, fine, I can dig it.

Santino Marella is now seemingly embroiled in a feud with Roddy Piper along with his current storyline involving he and Carlito (Team O) chasing the tag team championship. I think that if the E opted not to pull the trigger on putting the tag titles on Team O last night, they must at Judgment Day. Clearly, Santino is not in the doghouse for his DUI faux pas. At worst, they'll have him come out in a Dany Heatley jersey on Sunday, but I think that Rhodes and Holly have gotten stale as tag champs. They were never compelling to begin with, and they never defend those damn belts.

Of course, Santino's love of getting in the face of veterans came through again last night when he threw a few more threats at "Roddy The Piper". Not sure where they're going with this, but even if it's just a few great promos, I'm fine with that.

Mr. Kennedy's new music blows. I realize that the E has a hard-on for radio-ready music that almost equals their hard-on for big guys, but Kennedy's music was fine before. His new music doesn't sound good, as an entrance song or otherwise. Of course, the E decided to be mindful of this issue and tried to make us all forget how bad his music is by having him face Snitsky, who sucks in the ring. A match between a blind guy and a black midget would probably be better than any match involving Snitsky.

Melina and Beth Phoenix had a backstage tiff following their loss to Maria and Ashley. I'm assuming that Melina will turn face in lieu of the horrific beating she received, which makes it strange that Jillian was so prominent in their backstage segment. Is she turning face to? If so, why? IF not, why did you have her siding with Melina the whole time? Oh, well. At least that bitch learned not to mess with one of Buffalo's own. Nobody circles the wagon like the Glamazon.

Jeff Hardy returned last night, clad with new sleeves. He then wrestled Umaga for the nth time. I've honestly lost track of how many times these guys have fought. I also don't care how many times they have, because whatever the number is, it's too many. A match against Umaga screams that Hardy is low on their list of importance. Way to fuck up your career again, Jeff. No way in hell will you get the spot you just pissed away if you went to TNA now.

The following booking decision confused me at first, but the more I think about it, the more congruous it seems. Cade and Murdoch have a falling out two weeks ago in which Murdoch sings after the match. Then, last night on "Raw", they have a match against Cryme Tyme and win. Cade professes that Murdoch's singing must have been what changed their luck. Murdoch begins to sing "The Gambler", only to be leveled by Cade at the end.

Why I like this is because there was unpredictability to it. Cade did a good acting job, and I subsequently thought that Cade and Murdoch were sticking around, with their gimmick being country singers. I was down with that. Then, suddenly, bam! Cade and Murdoch is no more. I hope that a decent midcard push is in the future for Trevor Murdoch, because I think he could do a damn good job as Intercontinental Champion.

Speaking of the Intercontinental Championship, we have confirmed that it still does exist. However, we have also confirmed that it will not be defended this Sunday, as Chris Jericho will face Shawn Michaels. Last week, Dan suggested that Shawn should be the one to turn heel. I respectfully disagree. I believe that Jericho is the less over of the two, and has acted in a very heel way throughout the entire angle (especially through the eyes of a mark, who are the people that the E loves pandering to lately).

Anyway, this broke down into a classic Michaels segment, where 4 million people in unison knew that Sweet Chin Music was coming. It's strange how that spot gets done so often in Michaels' feuds, but it still seems to be fresh every time. The match should be a good one, but if only they would do something with that title...

Getting back to Orton vs. Cena, it was a decent enough match. I thought Orton put out a nice showing, and Cena was Cena. Overall, it managed to walk the fine line between not being insulting but not giving away too much for free. Ultimately, Regal comes out and appoints JBL as the guest referee. Cena gets a fast count, Orton wins, Triple H comes out post match, and all hell proceeds to break loose.

I will commend WWE on hiding the steel cage the entire night, but I also want to bitchslap JR for playing dumb when the cage came down. A 15-foot high steel cage is a rather conspicuous structure, and I think the commentary overplayed the fact that the cage was not seen the rest of the night. That aside, good cage matches are few and far between these days, and I'm hoping that Orton and Trips can pull a good one out on Sunday.

As a final note, a lot of people don't seem to like Orton's new entrance music. To those people, I say embrace change. Orton's old music was far too face-ish. Hell, the entire premise of his old theme was around Hunter screwing him and turning on him when he became champion. If you don't believe me, go look up the lyrics to Mercy Drive's "Burn In My Light" sometime.

However, his new music fits his character. It represents that of a psychotic heel, which Orton has played up very well over the past year. Orton's character is one of a sociopath who only cares about his own personal success, and his new music reflects that far better than "Nothing's gonna change what you've done to me, now it's time to shine".

Tha Results:
*Hardcore Holly & Cody Rhodes def. Carlito & Santino Marella
*Mr. Kennedy def. Snitsky
*Maria & Ashley def. Melina & Beth Phoenix
*Jeff Hardy def. Umaga
*Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch def. Cryme Tyme
*Randy Orton def. John Cena

7 comments: on "Tha Raw Report: Judgment Bound"

the CAVEMAN said...

I don't know if it was the fact I haven't watched Raw or any wrestling in about 2 months or if I was sleep deprived but I enjoyed raw. I laughed liked a little kid when Cena flew through the air off the ropes and Orton ducked him. Cena's face was priceless at that moment and I just broke out laughing. it was mix of oh shit and I just crapped my pants.

An off the topic side note... I read on some dirt sheets that HHH is leading in the running for the Thor movie that is supposed to come out in 2010 but I read a statement earlier today from the studio and company that is making the movie, have crossed off the idea of a wrestler. They want someone who can actually act and have pitched the role to Brad Pitt as he wants to do a family movie for his kids. Makes sense since Thor will debut in Iron Man 2 and I really don't see HHH in that role or any wrestler, not saying he couldn't do it but, It would be weird to build up 4 or 5 movies that end with the Avenger movie and have famous actors playing Iron Man(Robert Downey Jr), Captain America(no one assigned yet), The Hulk(Ed Norton), and Nick Fury(Samuel L Jackson)among other characters.

Chris said...

I would like to see Y2J turn heel and give the IC strap some prestige. I mean lets face it as it is now he's not going anywhere, his reception has been lukewarm. He lacks that arrogance and cockiness that got him attention in the first place, what better way to get it back than by turning heel?

I heard that Kevin McKidd was in the running for the THOR schtick (Journeyman, Rome, Last Legion). I think he'd pull it off better than HHH or Pitt. I could see HHH as a berserker or something, even a Conan role. But you have to remember not only was THOR a blond viking who, on occasion, would wax elequently (and wore a seriously goofy ass suit) but was also a doctor in his earthly guise.

Now Kurt Angle as Captain America would RULE!

djh said...

I thought raw suck ass it most def did not make want to buy the ppv! I love the last two raw but this one.

Dan said...

I always thought that Sean Bean (Boromir from Lord of the Rings) would play a good Thor.

...oh and Raw sucked.

Matt said...


I see where your coming from, and I feel exactly the same way. They had so much momentum going in the past couple weeks, and It looked good at the beginning of the show to continue. However, about halfway through cena's promo, i started to lose hope again. It honestly seems, to me anyway, like he came in and squashed a lot of the momentum that's been built in the last few weeks. It's really sad, and hopefully his movie takes a long time to film.

djh said...

right on matt lol! cena is bad i was a big mark for him back in the day! he needs to go!!!!!

Downtown said...

Sorry, Orton's new music blows. HBK has kept the same music and there isn't a second thought about it. Is he still a "sexyboy"? no he's a middle-aged-born-again-living-legend, but the music stick for character association.

Orton had that and they blew it, i wouldn't be surprised if it went back to the prior. HHH's "King of King's" theme didn't stick so they stuck with "The Game", I see the same happening here.

All around, every new theme song that has been assigned sucks nuts.