Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown

Let me get this out of the way right now. Tazz needs to come back to "SmackDown!" I know, he's an ECW original and so they put him on that show because of that, but the E has practically wiped any original ECW flavor right off of their Tuesday night show, so why not swap Tazz and Coach? The commentary on that show already sucks, so what would Coach do to worsen it?

Not only that, but I believe that Cole and Tazz ended up making a good team after all. Don't believe me? Go on YouTube and look up a "SmackDown!" pay-per-view match from 2003-2004. Listen to Cole and Tazz actually doing the job of color commentators. Cole calls the moves as he sees him, and asks Tazz for input in the matches, such as discussing strategy (which adds to the psychology of a match), as well as Tazz breaking down various moves throughout the match.

I wanted to get that out of the way because, to be honest, I watched this week's "SmackDown!" largely sans sound, and without having to hear Coach's damnable voice, the show was actually a lot better.

Let me stay on the negatives before jumping into what I liked. I still don't buy the Edge faction. The promos have by and large been samey every week for the past few months. I wasn't digging this at the beginning, and repetition has only made me grow more tired of it. Edge is a great worker and has great mic skills, he could really shine without having five other characters riding on his coattails. He can't get everybody over, people.

Okay, now on to positives. I like the fact that even though the Cruiserweight division is now dead and gone, Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore are still getting TV time. In fact, they may hold the record for longest time pursuing the Tag Team Championship without having an actual storyline with the champs. I realize that Moore Wang is no more of a makeshift tag team than MNM 2.0, but I think that Morrison and Miz could be more servicable to ECW without those belts around their waists.

Speaking of tag teams...sweet brithces of Jesus, what the hell happened to Deuce and Domino? I see Cherry on my TV (thank God), but no Deuce or Domino. Did they piss in Batista's cornflakes or something? Did they claim to be blacker than Mark Henry too? I just praised the E's use of some semblance of a tag team division, but no Greasers to be found. You're breaking my balls, E.

As for Cherry's match, it wasn't exactly a technical masterpiece, but they didn't make it a 60-second squash either, which is a good thing. Most people haven't seen Nattie Neidhart work, so having slightly longer matches will help get her more exposure. She's gotta work on that Sharpshooter, though. Holy shit, was that thing brutal to watch. I think Bret's personality died when he saw that happen. (editor's note: This isn't actually possible, he never had a personality to begin with)

Speaking of squash matches, I had been saying over the past few weeks that the jury was still out on Vladimir Kozlov. Well, the jury is in now, and they're saying he sucks. Everything he does looks obviously fake, and aside from coming to the ring without music (which I think more heels should do), he's about as charismatic as an unplugged toaster.

I'm very excited that we finally get to see the payoff of the Matt Hardy/MVP feud this Sunday. I thought that the segment the two of them had tonight was damn solid, and consistent with the storyline thus far. I think this match will help both of them; Matt Hardy will move up in the card by winning the United States Championship, and with that gold now off of his waist, MVP can transition into the main event.

I somewhat agree with Donnie when he said on this week's show that he thinks MVP will be main eventing by the end of the year. I don't think he'll hold the big belt by 2008's conclusion, but I so believe he will be in the main event picture by then. He's not the biggest guy, but he's a great worker and he's great on the stick. Plus, "SmackDown!" is the B show, so they don't care as much about drawing money on that show. If he were on "Raw", it would be a different story altogether, but I think MVP will ultimately discover that he's in a "right place, right time" scenario.

CM Punk is the real deal, folks. Much like the aforementioned MVP, he can work and he's got charisma. If he doesn't get a push because of his size, it would be a grave mistake on the part of the E. I say move him to "SmackDown!", put him on a winning streak to replace his current jobbing ways, and you've got another main eventer on that show.

However, for those of you out there who still don't think Punk could be a main eventer, look at the promo he had last night with Edge, as well as the match he later had. For a "small guy", he can put on a very entertaining match. Downplay his height and bam, another main-event caliber wrestler (which "SmackDown!" needs at the moment).

The main event last night featured Batista vs. Undertaker in a No Disqualification Match for the World Heavyweight Championship. I thought it was a respectable match, and since Batista is shit all around, you can't really say any match on television that features him would be giving away too much for free. What I really liked about this match, though, is that Edge and his cronies didn't interfere. Whoever is left backstage made a very smart decision in doing that.

If Undertaker were to win and get jumped by Edge after the fact, it would be a dead giveaway that Taker will go over on Sunday. However, instead of that, they have Undertaker win a brutal match and stand tall. For the mark who doesn't spend his time reading dirt sheets, that's more intriguing. Undertaker didn't get jumped by Edge, but he's put his body through hell while Edge has relaxed and prepared. That aspect will make the marks anticipate this match along with the rest of us smarks, who are looking forward to it solely because these two guys are damn good workers.

I do wonder if the E wil break the mold with Michaels and Batista though. Michaels screwed Batista last night by kicking his head off, which normally screams that Batista goes over. However, I smell a full-on heel turn for big Dave (I still think he's viewed as a tweener by many fans), and I think a loss in a high-profile match at a pay-per-view could serve very well as the final event that sparks the turn. Just a thought, though.

Tha Results:
Shannon Moore def. The Miz
Natalya def. Cherry
Edge def. CM Punk
Vladimir Kozlov def. Marty Garner
Undertaker def. Batista in a No Disqualification Match

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