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4.26.2008

Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown

Let me get this out of the way right now. Tazz needs to come back to "SmackDown!" I know, he's an ECW original and so they put him on that show because of that, but the E has practically wiped any original ECW flavor right off of their Tuesday night show, so why not swap Tazz and Coach? The commentary on that show already sucks, so what would Coach do to worsen it?

Not only that, but I believe that Cole and Tazz ended up making a good team after all. Don't believe me? Go on YouTube and look up a "SmackDown!" pay-per-view match from 2003-2004. Listen to Cole and Tazz actually doing the job of color commentators. Cole calls the moves as he sees him, and asks Tazz for input in the matches, such as discussing strategy (which adds to the psychology of a match), as well as Tazz breaking down various moves throughout the match.

I wanted to get that out of the way because, to be honest, I watched this week's "SmackDown!" largely sans sound, and without having to hear Coach's damnable voice, the show was actually a lot better.

Let me stay on the negatives before jumping into what I liked. I still don't buy the Edge faction. The promos have by and large been samey every week for the past few months. I wasn't digging this at the beginning, and repetition has only made me grow more tired of it. Edge is a great worker and has great mic skills, he could really shine without having five other characters riding on his coattails. He can't get everybody over, people.

Okay, now on to positives. I like the fact that even though the Cruiserweight division is now dead and gone, Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore are still getting TV time. In fact, they may hold the record for longest time pursuing the Tag Team Championship without having an actual storyline with the champs. I realize that Moore Wang is no more of a makeshift tag team than MNM 2.0, but I think that Morrison and Miz could be more servicable to ECW without those belts around their waists.

Speaking of tag teams...sweet brithces of Jesus, what the hell happened to Deuce and Domino? I see Cherry on my TV (thank God), but no Deuce or Domino. Did they piss in Batista's cornflakes or something? Did they claim to be blacker than Mark Henry too? I just praised the E's use of some semblance of a tag team division, but no Greasers to be found. You're breaking my balls, E.

As for Cherry's match, it wasn't exactly a technical masterpiece, but they didn't make it a 60-second squash either, which is a good thing. Most people haven't seen Nattie Neidhart work, so having slightly longer matches will help get her more exposure. She's gotta work on that Sharpshooter, though. Holy shit, was that thing brutal to watch. I think Bret's personality died when he saw that happen. (editor's note: This isn't actually possible, he never had a personality to begin with)

Speaking of squash matches, I had been saying over the past few weeks that the jury was still out on Vladimir Kozlov. Well, the jury is in now, and they're saying he sucks. Everything he does looks obviously fake, and aside from coming to the ring without music (which I think more heels should do), he's about as charismatic as an unplugged toaster.

I'm very excited that we finally get to see the payoff of the Matt Hardy/MVP feud this Sunday. I thought that the segment the two of them had tonight was damn solid, and consistent with the storyline thus far. I think this match will help both of them; Matt Hardy will move up in the card by winning the United States Championship, and with that gold now off of his waist, MVP can transition into the main event.

I somewhat agree with Donnie when he said on this week's show that he thinks MVP will be main eventing by the end of the year. I don't think he'll hold the big belt by 2008's conclusion, but I so believe he will be in the main event picture by then. He's not the biggest guy, but he's a great worker and he's great on the stick. Plus, "SmackDown!" is the B show, so they don't care as much about drawing money on that show. If he were on "Raw", it would be a different story altogether, but I think MVP will ultimately discover that he's in a "right place, right time" scenario.

CM Punk is the real deal, folks. Much like the aforementioned MVP, he can work and he's got charisma. If he doesn't get a push because of his size, it would be a grave mistake on the part of the E. I say move him to "SmackDown!", put him on a winning streak to replace his current jobbing ways, and you've got another main eventer on that show.

However, for those of you out there who still don't think Punk could be a main eventer, look at the promo he had last night with Edge, as well as the match he later had. For a "small guy", he can put on a very entertaining match. Downplay his height and bam, another main-event caliber wrestler (which "SmackDown!" needs at the moment).

The main event last night featured Batista vs. Undertaker in a No Disqualification Match for the World Heavyweight Championship. I thought it was a respectable match, and since Batista is shit all around, you can't really say any match on television that features him would be giving away too much for free. What I really liked about this match, though, is that Edge and his cronies didn't interfere. Whoever is left backstage made a very smart decision in doing that.

If Undertaker were to win and get jumped by Edge after the fact, it would be a dead giveaway that Taker will go over on Sunday. However, instead of that, they have Undertaker win a brutal match and stand tall. For the mark who doesn't spend his time reading dirt sheets, that's more intriguing. Undertaker didn't get jumped by Edge, but he's put his body through hell while Edge has relaxed and prepared. That aspect will make the marks anticipate this match along with the rest of us smarks, who are looking forward to it solely because these two guys are damn good workers.

I do wonder if the E wil break the mold with Michaels and Batista though. Michaels screwed Batista last night by kicking his head off, which normally screams that Batista goes over. However, I smell a full-on heel turn for big Dave (I still think he's viewed as a tweener by many fans), and I think a loss in a high-profile match at a pay-per-view could serve very well as the final event that sparks the turn. Just a thought, though.

Tha Results:
Shannon Moore def. The Miz
Natalya def. Cherry
Edge def. CM Punk
Vladimir Kozlov def. Marty Garner
Undertaker def. Batista in a No Disqualification Match


10 comments: on "Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown"

Anonymous said...

I thought the best part of the announcing on this show was when Cole told Coach to do his job and provide some color commentary and that he didn't know why he was at the announce table and further went on to ask coach how he got the job after Cole said Edge is basically screwing the boss and made it sound like that is what Coach must have done to get the job, fucking priceless, this happened during Punk & Edge's match.

Scottno1

Jeter said...

If anything, the Coach would make it to where we don't realize how shitty "Mr. American Gladiators" really is on the mic. Oh well...there's always YouTube footage of when JBL was carrying Michael Cole on his back while on the mic.

Speaking of Cole...is it me, or has anyone else noticed that Cole has blown up in the past several months. It's a good thing the Wellness Policy doesn't extend to commentators. Cause that would just be a damn shame if we lost the Michael to the 'roids.

Edge. Good wrestler, can cut a damn solid promo, but not so much a good "leader" as far as The Major Brothers are concerned. Yes, i'm still going to call them that because "Ryder & Hawkins" sounds like either a really cheesy Disney Channel pre-teen show or a really bad porno movie.

To save myself some time, i'm going to condense my thoughts of Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore and the D&D (Deuce & Domino) in one big, what appears to be me squatting over the toilet about to take a big dump, kind of rant....

The reason you don't see the D&D is because someone apparently got it through their mind over in Creative that people have caught on to the fact that there isn't much of a tag division as far as Smackdown/ECW goes. So they decided to give the two teams a break from wrestling each other week in and week out just for the sheer fact that after two months of not seeing those four men in the ring, they can start it back up once more and people will think, "Wow! This tag team division is really taking off". In the famous words of our new favorite "Mike Up" video on YouTube....WRONG!!!

But when it comes to Cherry, I don't mind that at all. More of her without the two Greasers is a good thing for everybody, and so is Nattie Neidhart. Oh wait. I mean Natalia or however the hell the E is spells it. I say have her run through the women's division and work towards a program with either Mickie James or Beth Phoenix. But i'd probably have better luck in wishing for an actual women's division where the title is defended against more than the same three or four people.

Why was the jury out for so long about Oleg Prudius? Once I read up about his legitimate martial arts background, I knew then that Vince would more or less bury this guy and give him no kind of personality whatsoever. Well...nothing more than the personality of a fucking rock. He'll end up going the same way of Sylvester Terkay. Bet you didn't think anyone would dig that name up did ya?

I don't think we're gonna see the conclusion of Hardy/MVP at Backlash. Hardy will win the US strap, but the E will string it along even more till Summerslam at least. But I agree, MVP will be main eventing by the end of the year, I don't think he'll hold either of the two big belts until mid-2009 at the earliest.

CM Punk. Hard worker & real deal. Definetly a main event caliber person waiting to break that "glass ceiling".

I didn't watch the Batista/Take match last night for the sheer fact that it's only what, the 573rd time they've locked up in the past year or so? Watching the same wrestlers going against each other only works so many times unless it was Flair v Sting...cause then you were guaranteed a damn good match. As for Backlash, not going to order it, not even going to wait for it to hit YouTube or MySpace. I've got a worse way to waste my time...it's called World of Warcraft.

That's all I got to say about that.

By the way, this has nothing to do with wrestling by any means, but we're about a month out from the UEFA Champions League finals and i'm putting my money on Liverpool FC vs Barcelona in the finals with the Scousers winning 3-2.

Gunslinger said...

You smell a face turn for Batista? Didn't he just turn heel two weeks ago? How can they want to flip him back already? Friggin' Fed...

Christopher Casúr said...

Aw, shit! That was supposed to say heel turn. Props for pointing that out, Gunslinger. I'll change that ASAP.

Jeter-
Yeah, Cole has gotten pretty big over the past few months. I guess he had to bulk up so he could carry Coach on his back. Also, I see where you're coming from in terms of the tag team division, but I do think they could easily be building towards one right now. With D&D, Moore Wang, Hawkins/Ryder, Jesse & Festus, and MNM 2.0, that's five teams, and there could easily be one or two more teams brought up. I think it's a matter of them actually realizing they can have a legit tag team division on that show instead of being so pessimistic. Keep in mind that "SmackDown!" has had a halfway decent tag team division at points in the past, and they did it with a relatively small number of teams.

Shammy_D said...

I kinda felt like the whole Batista Vs. Undertaker badly booked.Why make it a world title match when everybody knows that 'Taker is gonna keep the belt and Batista is going to fight micheals. It totally gave away the result.

Alright I can admit that Shawn interfering was good but The match could have been booked a non-title No D.Q match. and if they wanted to force Batista to wrestle Vicky could have shoved any number of punishments on the bag Bati-man, no title shots etc...

Anonymous said...

cm punk: work? charisma?

he has the charisma of a drunken handjob at the back of a denny's parking lot on a worknight.

his matches make me ill and feel like *I* am on drugs.

kimmimaro said...

can we get a tna review also? this is embarrassing.

Anonymous said...

Tna review not needed, but here goes:

It was bad again!

Tenay and West suck!

Angle vs. Joe was a schmoz, made into a triple threat at sacrifice.

The tag team tourney is dumb!

The knockout brittney spears makeover is dumber!

Tna reviews dont even need to be on Tha O Show because TNA is the same show every week.

Christopher Casúr said...

Anonymous-
Don't knock drunken handjobs behind Denny's until you've tried it. Especially with this one chick that works there. Goddamn, is that bitch one bangin' chick.


kimmimaro-
Thanks to schedule conflicts, TNA is not my job anymore. The guy who does cover TNA had a family emergency pop up that day and was unable to cover it. I'm sorry that you feel this website is embarrassing, but by all means, feel free to drop Donnie a line and see if he'll bring you back as a member of the writing team.

kimmimaro said...

cool thanks. i thought you it wasnt reviewed over lazynes or feeling that it didnt need to be reviewed. sorry