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3.29.2008

Tha SmackDown BreakDown!

On this weeks edition of “SmackDown!” we start off with a bang. An over the top rope challenge involving all the big dudes in the match that are currently featured on TV, with the exception of Big Daddy V, but with Chuck Palumbo.

"SmackDown!" tonight had over the top rope challenges, funerals, MitB preview matches, and squashes! That can only mean one thing. It’s time for WrestleMania! That or the WWE has no idea what they’re doing anymore.

I heard Jonathon Coachman say, “It’s ok to be excited about this Sunday night, but I’m more excited about right here tonight.”

Don West is horrible. Tazz is pitiful. Jonathon Coachman, well, honestly there are no words for it. He does horribly at providing color, he should be albino. It’s like Shelton Benjamin said, “Dick Cheney has more soul than Jonathan Coachman.”

During the CM Punk/John Morrison MitB preview match they scrolled across the bottom of the screen the following statement in the Big Show/Floyd Mayweather gimmick: There must be a winner. The match can end by Pinfall, Submission, or Knockout! To me that screams Mayweather goes over.

Over the course of the last few weeks the WWE has given us MitB preview after MitB preview, and this week they give us Johnny Morrison and CM Punk. This one I’m ok with, I guess. It was a feud for a “world” championship. It did its job of drawing, so yeah I’m ok with that being a preview for Money in the Bank, especially since CM Punk went over again in a very good “SmackDown!” match.
When you build a team, you should honestly build a team. Miz and Morrison, or MNM 2.0 as I so “lovingly” refer to them, are not a tag team, and I don’t think many people are buying it. So tonight Morrison took on Punk and Miz teamed with Cade and Murdoch.

Jesse and Festus taking on Cade and Murdoch in any capacity reeks of the same gimmick being in the same place at the same time, but when you throw in the Miz and Kofi Kingston, I really don’t know what to say. I guess those six needed TV time and there was no other way. Let that build, and I’m game, throw it together and I’m not.

I’m going to take a brief moment and talk about Snitsky. Dude went over Tuesday night on ECW in the 24 man tag team gimmick. The same night at the tapings, which aired on Friday he was squashed, core, by Batista in less than 60 seconds. His push reminds of me of an Angelina Jolie/Nicholas Cage movie. It was “Gone in 60 Seconds.”

In all honesty the match was 20.7 seconds. There was a spear. There was a spine buster. There was a badly executed Bati-Bomb. Then there was a pinfall. Had Batista not botched his landing and had to roll backward the match would have been about 19 seconds. Sad.

Cherry is hot. That’s about all I got on the Diva action. Sorry if anyone was riveted by some soft-core porn wet and wild match, but I had to piss. Mountain Dew will do that to you.

Over the past year or so that I’ve covered “SmackDown!” I’ve been both critical of MVP and I’ve also praised him. Lately it’s been praise, and tonight will not break that trend. He and Chris Jericho didn’t do anything wrong in their match.

It was a really solid match, and Y2J may have done best work since his return, and I don’t know if MVP pulled it out of him, or he’s finally comfortable. The match ending DQ was absolutely perfect, because if either man went over clean it wouldn’t have fit and would have taken a bit away from the Money in the Bank match.

The funeral segment was priceless. I loved it. Edge will lose, and he will look damn good doing it. I had a family gathering tonight, and since we’re southern I was like, hey, lets turn watch wrestling, and maybe we’ll see Flair. Eyes lit up, but the guy that everybody talked about was Edge.

Edge resonates with everyone. Marks hate him. Smarks love him, or hate him depending on how you feel about Matt Hardy. I know that’s more of a personal note revolving around the show, but to me it made so much sense. Edge is playing the heel better than anyone, with the exception of Randy Orton since maybe the turn of the century.

The segment that saw Taker pop up out of the casket was old, and played out, but even though it is, it still gets a pop, and still serves its purpose. Going into the WrestleMania weekend expectations may or may not be high, but with the way “SmackDown!” ended with Edge fleeing and Taker standing tall is a great cliffhanger.

Quick Results…
*Mark Henry def. Kane, Chuck Palumbo, The Great Khali
*CM Punk def. John Morrison
*Jesse & Festus and Kofi Kingston def. Cade & Murdoch and The Miz
*Batista def. Snitsky
*Michelle McCool & Cherry def. Victoria & Maryse
*Chris Jericho def. MVP via DQ


5 comments: on "Tha SmackDown BreakDown!"

Anonymous said...

sorry. but i pop for nark henry, i always have. and tonight was solid for him. even though he is too safe when performing his moves

mach23 said...

I actually liked smackdown this week and that would have sucked to be in the front row for the diva match caz of all the baloons they missed with lol. I didnt understand y snitsky was used to be squashed and y it was so short. Is there gonna be an 8th man in the MITB match?

Christopher Casúr said...

Best heel since 2000 is a bit of a stretch. What about Triple H? Jeff Jarrett? Ric Flair during the final months of WCW? JBL? Muhammad Hassan?

D.J.B. said...

Triple H has spent more time as a babyface since 2000 than Edge, and as a heel he tends to lose his audience...and ratings. Jeff Jarrett drew chants of "drop the title," and "please retire," not because he was over, but because people were so sick of him they wanted to vomit. Ric Flair is the greatest heel of all time, but his impact since 2000 hasnt really meant anything. JBL is the only guy who comes even close but even he wasn't as over or impactful as Edge.

Just 7 men unless we enter into bizarro world and Jeff Hardy is booked to get a paycheck to work towards a new house, but that wont happen, so yeah, 7.

Dante Ross said...

I've lost that loving feeling. This was the E's last show before WM and that was how it went down? Are you sure this wasnt ECW? The way all the guys are crossing brands it makes no sense to keep them seperated anymore.

I am shocked not just by the fact that Henry was back on TV. But the fact that he won a match. CM Punk vs Nitro Part 286 doesnt interest me. I wanna see a vengeful Joey Mercury come back as Joe Thunder or something.

I really like Jesse and Festus and wish that they would get the damned belts already. Is there really a good reason why they havent? Anyone? You. Yeah, you in the red draws. This is me shocked that The Shaminal hasnt gone and hurt himself in a while. Isnt this the longest he has stayed un-injured? Must be something in the water.

They needed to keep MVP and Y2J (Jesus, its like i'm talking about Alpha Bits!) away from each other. They are overexposing the shit out of them with their feud. Slow builds, baby. Thats what its all about.