Talkin' Smack!

Author's note: Tha O Show apologizes for posting this article late, it was originally scheduled for Saturday.

As if I didn't hate Batista enough already, here are three more words that help describe how much this "champion" sucks: white turtleneck sweater.

What the hell dude? Isn't there anyone backstage who talks to the talent about what they wear to the ring? I'd imagine that there is some measure of creative control over ring wear but I'm also pretty sure that what is presented on TV has to go through SOMEONE in the WWE brass.

Batista not only looked like an effeminite moron but sounded like one as well. Not much needs to be said about his emotionless and tedious promo about how much he 'respects' The Undertaker...and how much Taker comes to 'compete' every match.

Yeah...that's how I'd describe a legendary, never-defeated-at-the-biggest-show-of-the-year-ever, one-of-the-greatest-gimmicks-in-history icon too.

Man, did I mark out for the 'trip back to the old school' with The Undertaker. Back to the cemetary, back to diggin' graves, back to being the true Deadman. Know what that means? Back to being a world champion again! (I hope!!). I can't take another second of having this no-charisma-having, goofy GQ version of a gorilla known as Batista as champ. Yeah...some 'animal' he is. 15-0 baby...can't wait!

Now...on to someone with talent: Before any match even began on "SmackDown!" this past Friday night, I O'd for one of the funniest things I've seen in some time. My hero, King Booker joins JBL and Michael Cole for commentary and JBL forces Cole's head into King Booker's ring so that he could kiss it. Pure gold.

You could even see Booker smiling, trying to contain his laughter. The guy makes me even prouder to rock dreadlocks! It's this type of improvisational thinking that make both Booker and JBL such unbelievable heel characters. There's a big part of me wanting Book to win the "Money In The Bank" match at WrestleMania 23 even though I strongly feel that a youngster (like CM Punk) should be put over in this O-fest waiting to happen. With both Hardys in this match, you can't go wrong. Honestly, I'm a mark for EVERY competitor in this match so far!

Props again to WWE for doing the in-ring intros for Matt Hardy and Joey Mercury for their MITB qualifying match. It proved that - to quote, King Booker - "this is big". Thing is...why didn't they do that for the triple threat qualifying match between Finlay, Chris Benoit and MVP? Consistency just never seems to be a WWE strongsuit.

I loved how Booker called Hardy "Matthew" as well. Also loved Queen Sharmell dabbing the sweat of off her king. Sometimes the small stuff is a big deal. Thank God this guy is back on TV more...he is pure entertainment any and every time he appears.

Another O on this night: Kristal. Nuff said...no not quite enough. God, she's hot. And in fairness, thanks to her tits (honestly) Ashley got an O from me on Friday as well. I might want a copy of that "Playboy" after all. Actually...of course I do.

Speaking of O's, a double O goes out to showing the Butterbean VS. Bart Gunn shoot boxing match clip from WrestleMania XV. For those who may not remember, Bart Gunn was dominant in the first (and last) ever "Brawl For All" tournament - a series of REAL boxing matches between WWE Superstars.

Gunn's reward for winning the tourney - getting knocked the fuck out by a REAL boxer at the "Grandest Stage of Them All"! An O indeed.

I'm glad "SmackDown!" is showing the Cruiserweight division some more love lately. Clearly, some of these guys are being primed for a Mania match for the title. Considering that the E is putting so many of these guys in the same clusterfuck type of matches, I'm wondering how they're going to utilize all of their talent at WM23 without looking too much like the "Money In The Bank" concept.

"SmackDown!" remains my current favourite wrestling television show thanks, in no small part, to the type of action these cats provide. Here's another O: Jimmy Wang Yang's flip-kick to Daivari in the corner during the Cruiserweight six-man tag match. Didn't have much offensive impact...but man, that looked cool. So did his escape from a shoulderblock in the corner...so did his moonsault finisher!

On a side note, I'm glad that Shannon Moore and Daivari are back on "SmackDown!" where their talents can be most appropriately used.

Now, I must admit that I missed ECW this past week (what else is new?), but I finally O'd for something that Bobby Lashley did. His self-catapult through the cage causing it to slam down on Umaga was dope! Now THAT was worthy of ECW. Seeing the replay on "SD!", I thought it only fair to give credit where credit is due...considering how hard Lashley was dissed on our first-ever radio show last week.

Perhaps, we'll get an entertaining match out of Lashley after all at WM23. As far as his mic work though...notice how he didn't even hold a mic for himself on "SmackDown!"? He even seemed uncomfortable trying to muster up some charisma to simply respond "Well...no!" to Vince's offer of doubling his WrestleMania payday. I would have slapped him too. (I probably would have ran like Vince too!).

The O line of the night comes when Mr. Kennedy is given an ECW Championship match from Mr. McMahon. Kennedy begins his final comment with - "from one mister to another..." - that line was enough to make me laugh. Where was Theodore Long on this night by the way?

I'm disappointed with Finlay going over in the triple threat match. MVP is most deserving of a "Money In The Bank" match type of push. And Benoit remains a wrestling magician...consistently solid. But Finlay, at what? 48 years of age? has already had his MITB opportunity and should be utilized differently this year. He is the only guy in the match, at this point, that I know, for a fact, won't go over.

Okay, okay...neither will either of the Hardys, but the reason for their participation in this match is obvious.

Now, why give Kennedy an ECW Championship match on "SmackDown!"? The questions keep getting asked but they are never answered. It's an ECW belt...defended at a non-ECW show. Wouldn't it make sense to promote the match as a featured bout on the upcoming episode of ECW? Are they still even trying to put this brand over?

I also didn't like the psychology of this match. Everything Kennedy did was legal. So he hits Lashley with a chair...continually...which would usually keep anyone down for a three count in a regular match. But Lashley no-sells the chair shots, making them look pretty useless. Seconds later, "with all the odds stacked against him" says JBL, Lashely powerslams Kennedy and covers him for the victory. The only thing extreme about this match was how bad the booking was.

Kennedy is a future champ. Why he's putting over other young 'talent' at this stage in his career is beyond me. A wack finish to an otherwise excellent show.

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