Raw: O's and NO's

What goes up must come down. Everything has its opposite right? So, while we've christened the almighty letter "O" as our exclamation of excellence, it begs the question, "what is the opposite of an 'O'?" That my friends, would be the "NO". Makes sense right? Do I think John Cena is a good wrestler? No. So while the Mick Foleys, Samoa Joes and Shane McMahons of the world continue to grace us with great moments of "O"-worthiness in professional wrestling history, there are just as many "NO" moments that keep us critiquing the very artform we all hold so very dear to our hearts. Last night's Monday Night Raw - as usual - was full of both.


NO:
Umaga VS. ?? Why has WWE brought back jobbers? If you have to, at least give these poor saps the dignity of a name!! Quit referring to someone's opponent as "this young man".

O:
The McMahons in church skit - I have always, and will continue to say that Vince McMahon is the greatest character in the wrestling business. If, for no other reason, because he cracks me up. While many may think that adding "God" to the Backlash pay per view is going overboard - I got news for you - McMahon went overboard years ago! Using holy water to impersonate Triple H's 'spitting' entrance was priceless. And the line of the night came when Shane was encouraged to read a 'prayer' prepared by his father praising the elder McMahon's 'grapefruits which produced the life-giving semen that spawned me...' (to which Shane just stopped and said "Dad, this is getting weird") Too funny!

NO:
John Cena...who is NOT the least bit funny. The best he could do was call Edge an asshole and Triple H a guy who likes to kiss ass. He follows that up with saying that maybe he should leave the ring so the two can make out. Huh??!? He is light years from having the natural charisma and wit of The Rock who I assume he is trying to emulate the most. Also, his excuses about why the crowd has turned on him are lame. They boo you cuz you suck John. Your finishing move is a body slam off your shoulders. Gimme a break dude.

O:
Chris Masters' taking of the Carlito chairshot! It was flush to the skull! Triple H take notes...that's how you take a chair. Triple H has taken more chairshots to the forearms and hands than any two wrestlers in the business.

NO:
Mickie James VS. Maria. Why is women's wrestling so sloppy?

O:
Seeing Trish Stratus' bare ass while she jumped around the ring imitating Mickie at the end of the match. Sweet.

NO:
The Kane walking in the back skit. What's the deal with Kane going nuts to his own recorded voiceover: "May 19th, it starts again..." or whatever. I know they're trying to promote his movie but stop giving wrestling-haters a reason to call what we watch stupid...cuz that's exactly what that is. Are we hearing what he's thinking? How do you explain that? Dumbest thing since Randy and Bob Orton seeing themselves in a casket last year during their feud with the Undertaker. Remember when Randy supposedly saw his father's face all-bloodied in a hallucination (along with every TV viewer of SmackDown!)? Sheesh.

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