I just…I don’t know. I just don’t know what to say. So after all of the false starts Brodus Clay made his debut on Raw tonight. He is now known as Funkasaurus Brodus Clay. Why did this happen? Who thought this was a good idea? Who is this for? I’m really asking the O-sters. I know that I’m not in the demographic that WWE is aiming towards. But can anyone really enjoy this new gimmick?
When I saw Clay after an O-ster mentioned him on NXT I checked him out and wrote an article talking about how much I liked this big ass mofo. I liked his moves, his look, and the fact that when he got clipped in the knee he screamed in pain. Black singlet, tattoos, Mohawk. Worked fine for me.
His new look is an abomination. If you took every member of Run DMC and somehow managed to combine them with King Kong Bundy, Tazz, Kool Aid Man, and The Godfather you would get his new look. Its not cool. It screams “future endeavors.” Which sucks because, like I said, I liked the guy. I cant take him seriously at all now.
Now I know there are some people saying, “Dante, what the fuck are you talking about? The kids will dig this new Funkasaurus” or “People are talking about it like they did with Y2J last week.” To which I say kids don’t know shit plus you should stop cursing in front of them and I will not get into what I think about Jericho this week. The only thing I liked about Clay’s debut were dancing next to him. The one on the left is a butterface but what can you do?
I know that there is a time and place for fun and silliness in wrestling. I watch CHIKARA. They have some pretty crazy stuff on there but it fits. WWE has been having guys getting attacked by monsters that come from under the ring, guys having nervous breakdowns, and a guy that told one of the main men running the show he would beat him like a bitch. Want comic relief? There’s Santino and Zack Ryder.
Don’t take the one guy that isn’t a jacked up juice beast and looks like he is a monster that has moves and looks legitimately threatening and have him come out dancing to Rikishi’s old routine.