Match One: Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger (with Michael Cole)
Bell rings, lockup, Swagger shoves King to the corner, punches, referee break, Lawler reverses the position with punches of his own. Swagger misses a clothesline, more punches by Lawler, Swagger screams, spear in the corner, shoulder thrusts, whip, misses a splash, Lawler with a punch, both men circle each other, Swagger with a boot, body slam, misses a leg drop, Lawler with a punch, two-count, punch, Swagger with a clothesline. Stomps, elbow, misses his trademark splash, Lawler with more punches, dropkick, goes up top, Cole with a distraction, Lawler goes out after him, chases him back into the ring, punches, Swagger locks in the ankle lock, Lawler taps.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Swagger refuses to break the hold, until...
Winner by Disqualification: Jerry Lawler
Michael Cole attacks JR with a bottle of barbecue sauce after the bell, so JR comes after him. He chases him backstage before the show goes to commercial with absolutely no announce team. Back on, Michael Cole is joined by Booker T and Josh Matthews. And he won't shut the fuck up.
Match Two: Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk and Cody Rhodes
Rhodes and Orton start off, who faced each other at Wrestlemania 26, lockup, Rhodes with boots in the corner, punch, whip, reversed, Orton misses a clothesline but connects with a Thesz Press. Mysterio in, Rhodes with an arm drag, Mysterio with kicks, snapmare, goes for the protective mask, Rhodes bails, commercial.
Back on, Orton hits two snapmares to Rhodes, drops a knee for two. Mysterio in, Orton with a body slam, Mysterio with a springboard leg drop for two. Rhodes with a jawbreaker, Punk in. Punch, then another, Rhodes in, double team whip, double team elbow, cover for one, Orton in, Rhodes with a punch then kicks, elbows in the corner, Orton with a whip reversed, Orton with a clothesline for two, stomp, takes Punk off the apron, Rhodes with a kick to the gut, foot choke, Punk tries to take Orton out, Orton kicks him, Rhodes takes him down, Punk in, wishbone, stomps to the knee, sets up for the GTS, Orton slides off, goes for an RKO, Punk with a chop block, cover for two, stomps, commercial. Back on, I'm not quite sure what's happening. Orton hits a back suplex to Punk, goes for a tag, Punk grabs his leg, Orton with a punch, Mysterio in, seated senton, Asai moonsault for two, kicks, snapmare, misses a kick, Punk takes him to his own corner, Rhodes with a choke, Orton pulls him off the apron, Mysterio goes for a 619, Rhodes hits a flash kick, Punk covers for two, Rhodes in, stomps, headbutt, punch, stomping a mudhole, whip, Mysterio sells hard, Punk in, both men toss Mysterio Spirit Squad-style, cover for two, arm bar, Mysterio with punches, Punk goes for a powerbomb, Mysterio with a head scissors, double tag, Orton with clotheslines, snap scoopslam, rope assist DDT, calls for the RKO, Punk comes in, backs off, Orton with a high angle back suplex, covers, Punk breaks, kick to Mysterio, Mysterio takes Punk out, Orton with a punch to Rhodes, 619, RKO, three!
Winners: Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio
Following the match is... STONE COLD APPEARANCE! Austin takes a mic.
"Aww hell yeah! We got Tough Enough making its premiere immediately following Raw, so if you're ready for some Tough Enough, give me a hell yeah! That's what I thought. I'm gonna bring them kids out and see what they've got, so bring those kids out here to my ring."
The Tough Enough contestants make their way to the ring.
"Now how is everybody doing here tonight? Now I've got 14 men and women here, I'm going to put them all through the paces, Stone Cold Steve Austin style. I'm going to use my staff of trainers. Bill DeMott, Booker T and the lovely, lovely Trish Stratus. We gonna open up a can of whoop ass on these kids and you're looking at 14 fine human beings right here. But by the time I'm done with them there's gonna be one and one only, and that's gonna be Stone Cold's choice, and that's just the way it is, and that's all I've got to say about that. I'm gonna toss this horn around, give these kids a chance to introduce themselves, give you a chance to meet a future WWE Superstar or a future WWE Diva, and let you find something out about these fine folks in my ring."
Nothing noteable, except I think one of them is Alicia Fox's sister, and one of them is Miss USA.
"Fine looking human beings. And you know it takes a lot of commitment to make it in the squared circle, to make it in the--"
The Miz is out.
Miz: "You're absolutely right, Stone Cold. Just look at me. Back when I was on Tough Enough in 2004, I kept hearing voices telling me to go back to the Real World. But after last night, no one will ever tell me where to go ever again. You wanna talk about being tough enough? You wanna talk about dedication and valour? Then look at this. (Clip from last night's match is shown) Last night I had a concussion that would end most men's careers, but not only did I continue, but I went on to retain the WWE Championship. Now I doubt that any of you will go on to have the success that I have, you can always dream. I just headlined Wrestlemania and beat John Cena. I am the most must-see WWE Champion in history. I am the new face of the WWE! So get a good, hard look. Soak it in, because this is the closest you're going to get to a WWE Championship. What is it, Steve? You wanna hold my WWE Championship, too? Wait, are, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Do you think you have one more run? I bet you think you're tough enough. You hear 'em Steve? What do you say we clear this ring and find out if you can have one more match?"
"Clear the ring."
Holy shit. Miz and Riley double team Austin, Riley focusses on the brunt of it, Austin reverses and stomps a mudhole on Riley. Riley briefly regains control, Austin with a Thesz Press, elbow drop, Stunner! Austin throws a beer to every single contestant and they all have one massive beer bash. Austin throws beers at Michael Cole.
Match Three: Alberto Del Rio vs. Evan Bourne
Del Rio with a boot, kick, tosses him to the corner, stomps, foot choke, whip, misses a clothesline, Bourne with a heel kick, regular kicks, Del Rio with a boot from the corner, kicks Bourne out of the ring in every sense, then tosses him into the barricade. Back into the ring, covers for one, recliner with a knee in the back, "Del Rio" chant breaks out, Bourne with a rollup for two, kicks, flying knee for two, Del Rio with a back suplex, reversed, Bourne hits a boot from the corner, goes for the SSP, Del Rio with a huge enziguri, arm breaker for the tapout.
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Vickie Guerrero comes out and blames their loss last night on LayCool. Ziggler says that Snooki was the most talented of his opponents and makes a match.
Match Four: Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler vs. Trish Stratus and John Morrison
Men start, lockup, Ziggler with punches, Morrison plants Ziggler in the corner, punches until referee break, Guerrero in, Stratus in by proxy. Vickie botches a handstand, Stratus jokingly rolls her up for one. Vickie misses a clothesline, another rollup for two. Vickie with a shove, Stratus with chops, Vickie with a takedown by the hair, then another, then a toss, cover for two, misses a leg drop, Morrison in, Ziggler by proxy, Morrison with clotheslines, heel kick, slam to the turnbuckle, misses Starship Pain, Ziggler with a kick, huge German suplex, Stratus breaks up a count, slaps Ziggler, Flash Kick, Starship Pain for the win.
Winners: John Morrison and Trish Stratus
Match Five: United States Championship: Sheamus (c) vs. Bryan Danielson
Lockup, Bryan with a hammerlock, Sheamus drags him to the corner, elbows, toss, axe handle for two, clothesline, stomps, whip to the corner, stomp on the hand, chops in the ropes, referee break, Sheamus with a knee to the rope-bound Danielson, chinlock, backbreaker, cover for two, neck wrench/armbar combo, Bryan with a kick, then another, clothesline, whip, reversed, boot from the corner, another clothesline, cover for two, Sheamus with a stomp, Bryan goes for the LaBell Lock, Sheamus with another backbreaker, bicycle kick for the victory.
Winner and still US Champion: Sheamus
Sheamus with post-match stomps, Sin Cara makes his debut! He points to Sheamus, hurricanrana, knocks Sheamus to the apron, kicks him off, massive crossbody from the top rope to the floor. Sin Cara poses for the crowd before the program goes to commercial.
John Cena comes out to confront The Rock.
"I know, I know. There's a lot of people who are upset about a certain someone's actions at Wrestlemania. I'd have to admit, I'd be naive if I didn't see something coming because that certain someone wrote on his Twitter that he was going to, how did he put it? Whip some candy ass, and I knew he wasn't talking about Zack Ryder. I didn't think that certain someone would actually decide the winner of Wrestlemania, but you know what? If he didn't do what he did, the final moment of Wrestlemania would've been... a double count-out. So you know what? Things didn't go my way, I'm not going to complain as a matter of fact I'm going to congratulate The Miz. Miz, congratulations, because I've been around long enough to know it doesn't matter how you did it, you walked into Wrestlemania the WWE Champion and walked out still the WWE Champion! I know you're watching and you are still the most annoying person on the face of the Earth, and I hope I never get another chance to face you, but I think these people would agree that after that showing you have earned all of our respect. Which brings me back to that certain someone. Because after hearing him speak for so very long it's obvious that I haven't earned his respect, it's obvious he doesn't like me very much. But here's the thing, that certain someone is here tonight! That certain someone was also supposed to be the guest host at Wrestlemania but very quickly became involved in business. My business. Which means that that certain someone and I have business of our own to settle, right now."
The Rock makes his way out after a painfully long delay and poses before standing to face Cena.
"John Cena, let me be direct with you. What'd you think was gonna happen? You knew payback was coming. You poke a shark in the eye, you get swallowed whole. Did The Rock talk trash about you? You bet your candy ass he did, it's what The Rock does, he does it better than anybody, it's what the people love! But you're wrong about one thing, John Cena, you're wrong about respect. You see, The Rock respects you! The Rock respects you, knows what you've done. Just because I've been away, don't think The Rock doesn't know all about you. The Rock knows that you live and breathe the WWE. The Rock knows that. The Rock also knows that it's because of that drive that you have become one of the greatest WWE Superstars, one of the greatest WWE Superstars of all time, but it doesn't change the fact, flat out, that The Rock just doesn't like you. Look at us, John Cena, we are completely opposite. We look different, we talk different, we fight different, but we're very similar, one way, and that is the fact that whatever John Cena does, whatever The Rock does, we want to make it the best thing we do, period. So we're very similar. Except The Rock shops at department stores, you obviously shop at Baby Gap."
"Hey, whaddaya know, fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy. Listen, we've both said the time for talk is over, you are the People's Champ, listen to the people! Hear it, feel it, see it, there are people standing in the ceiling not because they want us to talk but because they want a match. And not just a match, these people know what match, the match where generations collide. Only in the WWE would you be able to see Muhammed Ali and Mike Tyson in their prime, Michael Jordan and LeBron James. The match that they want is John Cena vs. The Rock! It's obvious, this is what we should do. So do you wanna talk about it, or do you wanna bring it?"
"John Cena, you have no idea what you just asked for. You asked the Rock to bring it, oh yeah, the Rock will bring it, you bet your candy ass The Rock will bring it, but The Rock says we make history. We do something that's never been done before. The Rock says we make the biggest matchup of all time, on the grandest stage of the world, Wrestlemania 28, John Cena vs. The Rock!"
The crowd boos this somewhat distant date.
Rock: "But it's not just any matchup, no, it's going to be the People's Champ, never alone, Team Bring It, John Cena and the People's Champion, the People's Wrestlemania, if ya smell what the Rock is cookin'!"
The Rock extends a hand, and Cena shakes it. The Corre swarms the ring and the 2-on-4 brawl is on. Cena and The Rock actually get the better of it, culminating on a 5-knuckle shuffle on Heath Slater, a Spinebuster for Wade Barrett and a People's Elbow on Wade Barrett, an Attitude Adjustment on Heath Slater, a Rock Bottom on Wade Barrett, a staredown and another handshake to end the show.