RVD comes out to stand face to face with AJ Flair….er….Styles. I have to admit that this matchup has been on my wish list years ago, so personally, I'm intrigued.
Out comes Jeff "Mr. awkward PROMO" Hardy to also throw in his two cents. He wants to complete his set of World Titles by becoming the TNA World Heavyweight ChampeeYONE…yes, that's exactly how he said it…fuck.
Out comes Hulkster to the third champ-heat-killing reaction. Once again, Hogan says that everyone's gotta up their game, blah blah blah. He basically cuts a heelish promo that being champ means you're doing it for the accolades and the money and the bitches.
He asks the Hardy and Van Dam if they want to throw down to see who is the most deserving of the spot. He wants them to tear the house down and the winner of the match will get a title shot…and THAT will ALSO be tonight.
Holy shit. It seems that TNA wants to play all of their cards at the same time. This is not your mom and dad's booking, folks. Slow burn? Nah, let's just blow the place up and see what happens.
Daffney and ODB get a shot at The Beautiful People for the Knockouts Tag Titties…er…Titles, that is. Well, that was short. Dee Snider from Twisted Sister gets sprayed in the face with something and then rolled up for the three. She's still doing the phantom roll up shit for 5 seconds after she's defeated, which further punctuates the joke of this match. It also makes you wonder what right ODB has to complain about "the state" of her beloved division when she seems to be doing more harm to it than good. I can't blame her all the way; the booking looked almost intentionally random here pairing her with Daffney, but this (along with the last few weeks) seems to be a sign of things to come for the women of TNA. Mark my words, there will be some sort of pudding or Jell-O implicated in a title match by summer time.
Backstage with AJ and a banged up Ric Flair camera pointed through the doorway and Borash, waiting for his moment to jump in for an interview. Ric wants a Lockdown rematch in 5 minutes and threatens to declare a win by forfeit if he's not given what he wants.
After the break, Jarrett is in the ring with Abyss who is cutting a promo in the ring, about how the war is over. Flair walks out with Sting, Desmond Wolfe & Beer Money and it's a 4 on 2…out comes big Rob Terry who saves the day (although he took 2 tries to press slam Wolfe). Out comes Bischoff who says there will be another 4 on 4 and there's someone in the back who can't wait to join the feeding frenzy.
Funny thing: after they start to cut to commercial with a graphic on the RVD/Hardy match coming up, Flair, is STILL yelling at anyone who will listen…saying "we got a problem", "you're a dead man" etc. Oh Ric, you're really a promo machine…give him a mic and watch him turn tomato red with his words. Does he remember what he says afterward? If it weren't so entertaining, I think it would make me sad to see someone who should be retired work 5 times harder than everyone around him. Ah, marriage, the cause and solution to all of your work…
Matt Morgan is with Shannon Moore (of course?) backstage as Matt is trolling the locker room for a new tag partner. Moore turns him down so he can concentrate on winning the X Division Title and drops a verse from the book of dilligaf. (Sidenote: I think that everyone in TNA is liberally saying the word "ass" on TV to differentiate themselves from WWE's PG product, which in a weird way, I think is smart).
Hogan and Bischoff stroke each other backstage for each being so awesome…they tease a bit about the 4th member of the team and also a "ranking" system. Still intrigued.
RVD's being followed by a film-style camera shot for about 5 seconds, which was a nice random touch to the TV product. The match is on after the commercial break…no wait…it'll REALLY be on after the next commercial break…fuck, why do they do that?
We're back and Van Dam's forehead cut is leaking. This match reminds me of the Invasion PPV from 2001; and Taz (to my point) says, "they've had epic battles…elsewhere". He goes on to say that Hardy has never beaten Van Dam, ever. Considering that the "elsewhere" doesn't offer this kind of action anymore, I'll let the TIFG moment go…this time.
RVD gets the pin in what was a really good match, and it makes me wonder what will happen at the end of the show…two things that I haven't said about "elsewhere" in a long while.
After the break, the two men are talking backstage watching highlights of the match. It's almost like they couldn't get over how good their match was…or how strong their bromance is…whatever the case, TNA continues to bring me something intriguing followed by something pointless in rapid fire succession.
The 4 on 4 Lockdown Rematch starts with Sting and then Jeff Jarrett…oops, commercial. I'm thankful that I almost never watch live television anymore and I can fast forward through the many commercial breaks littering this episode. The match starts out in the crowd with the first two men brawling. Apparently the motivation of JJ and the announcers is still to find out why Sting turned heel. Asking why about anything on this show is sure to cause a brain hemorrhage, so don't bother.
The 5:00 period id done and in comes Desmond Wolfe. You see? I'm not even goon bother asking why Team Flair has the man advantage tonight…I'm just going to enjoy the match.
After a minute, out comes Rob Terry, who makes Dave Batista look like a contortionist. Orlando Jordan is watching from the ramp.
Abyss is in the match when we're back from another commercial break and soon to follow is James Storm, which sets us up for the big surprise in about 2 minutes. Tenay keeps telling the viewers to text your friends and do other new media things while watching the show…
And here comes Samoa Joe who looks like he was released after being kidnapped by Jenny Craig. Muscle Buster finishes off the match and Joe bolts on out. Flair comes out and says, "Hey I got something to say to you" only to be cut off by another commercial break.
Coming back from the break, it turns out that Flair challenged Abyss for a Ring vs. Ring match. Train, meet wreck. Next week.
The main event is now upon us.
Styles ambushes RVD, and stays in control for the first bit of the match…RVD tripped over Styles and they saved the spot somewhat with a good pinpoint dropkick. AJ's incorporation of new school offense and old school working of a body part is probably the best thing about his being linked to Flair in the first place.
Of course, I say this and speak way too soon, because RVD has Five Star Frog Splashed his way into the TNA World Title. Say whatever you want about Rob Van Dam, but the man just worked 4 matches in two nights and bled most of the way through each of them. Fuck a title chase!
TNA is starting to get me hooked on it's combination of solid matches, clusterfuck segments, horribly timed commercial breaks and non-sensical grouping of workers. Truly, I can't tell you what's going to happen, even if I put on my most cynical of thinking caps.
I'm about to cue up Raw now, which I'm sure will help me sleep.
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