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Smackdown Smack Talk

Smackdown starts this week with Rey Mysterio and his family. I'd make a height joke about his son, but Rey beat me to it. I think he might need a Sherpa guide to climb up to his wife to tap that, but I'm sure it's worth the trip.

Rey talks about his family and how travel has affected home life. They sing for his daughter Aalyah's birthday, which is cute...and summarily cut off by The Straight Edge Society.

Punk is fucking great on the mic. He knows how to play the part of the complete asshole heel to a tee, including taking a few tries to complete his rendition of Happy Birthday to the little girl.

He even made a height joke of his own by kneeling down to be at Rey's level and offering him to take a shot, and then promptly getting up and slapping Rey in front of his kin. He manages to make a 9 year old girl cry and a whole family flee the ring all in minutes. I've heard rumblings of "Hair vs. Mask" as the stipulation, but they should have done that weeks ago if that was going to be the match.

New sound for the ring bell! Sounds like the one from the 80s.

Miz is showing us that the new brand of Heel is called The Douche. "Really?" is a stale attempt from someone who should be able to get over on the stick. And saying "I'm Awesome" although heel-ish, is really just being Ashton Kutcher from 10 years ago. Do better dude. Heels are at their best when they say shoot things as a work. Leave the catchphrases to the fucking faces.

With Tha Black Prophet's hatred aside, I must salute R-Truth's ability to get over with the kids in the crowd. "What's Up" is totally working for him (even without a mic) and shows an old school face tactic played up for the perfect effect (you know, what Miz is doing, except in the correct role).

Daniel Bryan helps K-Kwik get the pinfall by stopping his use of the ropes for leverage. Glad to see the NXT storylines continuing in the main shows.

There's a segment on Taker vs. HBK II with interview clips from former opponents and I have to say that they're doing a MUCH better job this year of making this match the centerpiece of the show. Big props to the use of late-era Johnny Cash music in the segment too.

Drew McIntyre is now in the Money in the Bank Ladder match after squashing local Seattle boy Aaron Bolo (despite the Intercontinental title being on the line!). His Facebook and Myspace pages both show him in the ring the one second before he jobs, and it makes you think about how much of a highlight it was for him. Pin me, pay me! You're on TV!

This year's MITB match now has 9 participants, which is a little bit excessive, especially now with only 2 shows to choose from. Drew McIntyre could have defended the IC belt, but I don't wanna suggest anything revolutionary, so let's move on.

The Big Show went over on John Morrison and it was a well-executed match with good big man spots, good selling from Morrison and a well-done finish.

There's a backstage segment with Teddy Long, Tiffany, and Vickie Guerrero and I only bring it up because they mentioned Mickie James tweeted about her leg injury. This is only notable, because it set up the Fed to potentially use Twitter as a work which they totally should. Much has been made about kayfabe being dead due to the internet; I think that if they were smart, they would try to use social networking to engage in disinformation. Bring back suspension of disbelief!

The Hart Dynasty and Cryme Tyme hint at depth in the tag team division only to become finisher-meat for The Undertaker. This works for the storyline on many levels, because it highlights Taker's insecurity in a way by showing how pissed he was in decimating 4 guys minding their own business. It's too bad that it came at the expense of a tag team scene on life support.

Tiffany comes out with a cheerleader outfit and an autotune pop song; Michelle McCool is out with a stable of Layla and Vickie Guerrero. We get a DQ finish and Beth Phoenix making the save, this time as the full fledged face. Looks like we've set up the Diva's match for WM26.

Kane faces Luke Gallows with Stacey Dash...I mean...Darren Young looking on backstage. Rey comes out and fight's Punk into the crowd and Punk chickenshit-runs outta there quickly. Punk is the best heel on Smackdown by far.

The final segment is the return of the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho and his special guest Edge. They trade barbs, and Jericho ends up on the upside this week catching Edge with the ol' belt to the head trick with the attempted SPEAR. Y2J mocks the catchphrase with a menacing tone as we fade to the end.

Smackdown did a lot to forward storylines this week and it was kept simple enough to follow. It did it's job to stay on course for WrestleMania and it made me wish they did this well at building all of their PPVs.

4 comments: on "Smackdown Smack Talk"

Anonymous said...

Nice article,except for you leaving out Punk interrupting Rey and his Family, and how in the FUCK are you gonna put Stacey Dash and Darren Young in the same sentence?????? Have you ever seen Stacey Dash???

kathy said...

Thank you for actually recapping the show and not giving us every single solitary word that was uttered by Cole and whats his name.

CJF said...

New guy! I like yo' style. And I second Kathy's comment above.

Magnum said...

Agreed, great review! No more word for word, please!