ECW On SyFy Recap

THE ENTIRE WORLD IS WATCHIN' ECW tonight. No seriously - the cancellation of this show may pop a higher rating than the show itself could in months. What will Vince McMahon have to say? Well stay tuned and DON'T QUESTION MY HEART because ECW is underway!

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome WWE Hall of Famer, Tony Atlas!" Angela's introduction of Atlas is far superior to his introduction of tonight's special guest on the Abe Washington Show, which is going to be Christian.

First though, HERRRRRE'S ABE! Ugh. Washington has to say "thank you" about 15 times to get heat, but when he finally introduces himself and the Titantron says APPLAUSE he gets his first genuine boo.

To make matters worse, he claims he was off ECW for the last month because all the TV networks were fighting over him to host a late night show. Abe asks if anybody knows why he turned them all down. Tony: "Because you're not that good? HA HUH HAH!" Abe: "Shut up you big dummy!" He tells us the WWE Universe wouldn't be the same without him. He's right - it would actually be BETTER. Atlas continues to make fun of Abe and vice versa until Christian is finally introduced after five of the longest minutes of my life.

Abe congratulates Christian on retaining the title against Ezekiel, and notes he is the longest reigning champion in the entire WWE Universe. "I didn't know that but that's a pretty cool stat to know. Thanks for pointing that out. I'm proud to have taken on every challenger, to have beaten every challenger, and I'm looking forward to more challengers in the future." Zack Ryder's music interrupts. Ryder: "Let's talk about some real news okay? The real news this week is this." HELMS MUGSHOT IS ON THE TITANTRON.

"Some guy running around here claiming to be a superhero, and what does he do? Get drunk like one of those poseurs on Jersey Shore. Stand back, there's a criminal coming through! That's why I want you all to finally refer to me as the heart and soul superhero of ECW." Christian: "Zack do you actually have a problem with what Helms did? Or are you just jealous he did something you always wanted to do and never have? Made it on TMZ! Or maybe you're jealous because you're both on TV, but he actually gets recognized."

Ryder: "Bro I was in the Royal Rumble." Christian: "I'm sorry, I blinked, I must have missed that!" Ryder says Helms is an embarassment. Christian: "Everybody makes mistakes. For example Tiffany made a mistake when she gave Abe a talk show. I made a mistake when I agreed to be on a talk show! And you made a mistake when you woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and decided my hair looks really cool.

But most of all the biggest mistake you made is when you hooked up with Tila Tequila over here." Ryder slaps Christian. Christian shoves Ryder over the coffee table into the couch. Abe gets between them and summarily brings the Abe Washington Show to a halt. Segment OVER! Josh Mathews reminds us Vince McMahon will be here later tonight as we go to a commercial break.

While we're watching commercials for Burger King and the U.S. Census, I'm getting quasi-spoilers on Twitter that Vince McMahon is changing the name of the show to NXT. That's right - N-X-T. A little weird if you ask me. Sometime in the next 45 minutes I'll find out if those hints about the new name are right, but I suspect they are. Oh and incidentally we're at the FexEx Forum in Memphis, Tennessee.

* Shelton Benjamin v. Vance Archer

We see highlights from ECW last week when Vance Archer attacked Benjamin while he was cutting a promo about going to the Royal Rumble. Tonight is Benjamin's chance to settle the score. The bell rings and Benjamin powers Archer into the corner and lays in stomps and kicks until the ref pulls him off. Archer rolls out for a breather but Benjamin takes matters into his own hands with a dive CLEAR over the ropes to the floor.

Benjamin throws him back in but Archer cuts him off with a boot to the gut before he can step through. Archer puts him in a side headlock but Benjamin escapes and goes on offense again, hitting a double axe to the back that sends Archer out to pull himself up on the barricade. Archer gets out of the way at the last second as Benjamin dives and wipes himself out on said barricade instead of Archer. That sends us to a commercial break.

Archer is in control and hammer Benjamin down when we come back from break, standing on him in the corner until the ref makes him break at four, then stomping on him some more. Archer screams C'MON SHELTON, pulls him up and hits a vertical suplex with Benjamin acting like he's half dead already, seemingly dead-weighting the lift (or Archer is just really bad at it).

Benjamin starts a hope spot but Archer turns it into a side slam for 2.5 and stomps on him some more. Benjamin manages to kick him in the head and roll free, but Archer comes right back over as he recovers and whips him to the opposite corner.

Benjamin gets out of his way coming at the turnbuckle though and then chops Archer's leg, following with a series of tackles. Benjamin continues to work on Archer's left leg before he hits a flying elbow to the corner while Archer simultaneously hits him in the jaw with a punch. Archer sets up for his finisher but Benjamin flips over him and yanks him down for a near fall the crowd actually gets hot for. Archer tries to cradle Benjamin in the corner but the ref makes him break for holding the ropes.

Archer goes for it again but this time he gets the cradle with his feet on the ropes and the ref doesn't see it. WINNER: VANCE ARCHER. The crowd is actually pretty hot at Archer for the finish. Archer backs up the ramp holding his head and smiling. Benjamin glares as we go to a Bret Hart Raw Rebound. After the rebound Mathews and Saxton promise us a non-title main event between Christian and Ryder and send us to commercial.

DID YOU KNOW? WWE's website had 4.3 billion hits in 2009. 4.2 billion of those were pictures of Savannah, Mickie James, Gail Kim and Layla.

* Yoshi Tatsu (w/ Goldust) v. Trent Barreta (w/ Caylen Croft)

Tatsu throws up both knux as Trent gets in the ring, then jumps up and down and screams. The bell rings and the two exchange misses until Yoshi connects with a dropkick and an arm drag. Trent gets up with Yoshi working the left arm. He escapes and gets under the ropes to avoid a spinning kick from Yoshi, then goes on offense and puts a boot to Yoshi's throat in the corner.

Half the crowd is booing Trent, the other half is chanting YO-SHI. Yoshi sinks in a chinlock and continues to grind away on it as the crowd claps Yoshi back to his feet twice (the first time with more enthusiasm). Yoshi escapes and hits a high back bodydrop to get back on offense and fires off a series of kicks.

Trent tries to roll through to avoid a kick but still ends up in a near fall. Yoshi tries to go to the top rope but Trent catches up to him. Trent tries a 'rana but Yoshi rolls through and counters it into a near fall. Both seconds cheer on their man. Trent argues with the ref that it was three and never sees the YAKUZA KICK take his head off. WINNER: YOSHI TATSU. Highlights from the 2010 Royal Rumble are NXT as we go to commercial. Vince McMahon's announcement is after this break!

Savannah: "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment - Mr. McMahon!" Vince: "I would like to proudly announce that in three weeks time ECW will be going off the air." He thanks all the technicians, cameraman, production people and superstars. "I'd also like to thank in advance everyone, especially all of you, who will be responsible for the success of bringing a new, innovative, never before seen program, broadcast at the very same time here on SyFy!

This will be the next, the next evolution of the WWE. This will be the next evolution of television history. Thank you very much!" What, that's it? Well as much as he dropped the word NEXT I have to feel the whole NXT story is 100% correct. Saxton says there are more questions than answers though.

Helms is in the ring: "Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, accompanied by William Regal, is Ezekiel Jackson!" They come out. Helms: "Ezekiel I'm sure you were disappointed by the result this Sunday. How do you plan to get past that?" Regal: "It's been a very trying week for you hasn't it?" Helms: "Yes it has, but I'm gonna get past it. I'm just here to do my job."

Regal: "That's very noble of you. But unfortunately, it's about to get worse." Zeke gives him a big shove, he and Regal double team him, Helms tries to take Regal down not once but twice but each time Zeke pulls him off before finally giving him the urinage with authority, then pulling him up for Regal to hit the running knee tremblor. CHRISTIAN MAKES THE SAVE WITH A SINGAPORE CANE. Regal and Zeke each take a lick before they bail. Why do I think Tiffany is going to rebook the main event as a tag match? We go to commercial.

Elimination Chamber PPV promo narrated by Triple H as we come back from break. We go outside to a shot of BB King's blues club. Savannah tells us the following contest is scheduled for one fall and announes the ECW champion Christian. I guess Stiff Tiff isn't going to rebook the main event after all - oh well. Here comes the Zack Attack!

* Christian {C} v. Zack Ryder (ECW Non-Title Main Event)

Ryder has the advantage early, hitting a tackle that seems to catch Christian by surprise, and staying on offense until Christian hits a spinning hip kick that sends Ryder to the apron. Christian gets the crowd clapping like he's going to dive to the outside, Ryder hits him in the gut to block it, Christian baseball slides under him, and several moves later Christian's back in the ring to dropkick him. Ryder gets back on offense though with a catapult under the ropes to cut off Christian's oxygen supply. Rosa seems happy about it. Ryder applies a chinlock on the ground and the ref checks to see if he's gonna quit. Of course not.

This is Captain Charisma after all! The match continues. Zack does manage to get a Rough Ryder leg lariat for 2. Christian ducks the L.I. Express in the corner and hits a flying elbow. Christian sets up for the Killswitch at 11:03 and connects but Zeke hits the ring for the DQ and steamrolls him. CHRISTIAN WINS BUT REGAL AND ZEKE TEAR HIM UP. Zeke throws him into the steps and yells WHAT'CHU GOT NOW? Christian lays on the ground selling as we go off the air.

Share |