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1.22.2010

Tha iMPACT! Playback

“AJ Styles….Wooooo”

I gotta say before we get into what went down this week. I like the “old school” ring better than the 6 sided ring. The 6 sides always seemed cool yet odd and out of place in pro wrestling for me.

It works in the UFC and MMA but it always looked awkward in wrestling, especially in a tag match or when a wrestler went to go off the ropes for a move. No long ropes just short ones and too many corners.

That’s just my opinion. Some of ya’ll mighta liked the 6 sides. It didn’t bother me but I prefer a 4 sided ring for wrestling. On to the Playback!

We start things off this week in the iMPACT! Zone with a video package of what went down at Genesis this past Sunday. Flair pulls up in a limo with AJ Styles. Slick Rick makes his way to the ring with a lady on each arm. Ladies that looked young enough to be his granddaughters. Whoooo!!

Ric gives us his 3 reasons for coming to TNA. Number 1 - He hates Hogan and that their life long feud will never be over until he buries Hogan in TNA once and for all. Does that mean Flair and Hulk are gonna get in the ring one more time and for the first time in TNA? If so, why? We’ve seen this over and over. Plus you guys are grandpas now.

We don’t wanna see 60 year old men ruin their legacies. Come on Flair stop living in the past dude you sound like my dad. (Sorry Pops, not that he reads this even though one of our bonds was always our mutual love for wrestling) Shout out to Big Gordo!

Number 2 – People ask him all the time who’s gonna be the next Nature Boy. He runs down the list of who is not. Then he gets to the Great AJ Stylin’ and Profilin’ Styles. Quick AJ dye your hair blonde! Now that would creep me out. Flair said he’s been watching TNA for 6 months but only saw AJ a month ago? Huh.

Then Flair tells us a story about one of his sexual escapades and insinuates it was Dixie Carter he was fucking in the story. That was odd. Ric never does get to his 3rd reason for coming to TNA. Does Ric Flair have dementia? He seems to ramble on and not always make sense and seems to repeat himself a lot. Oh well it’s Ric Flair. Whoooooooooo!

Flair introduces Styles as the “soon to be greatest heavyweight champion of all time” Styles comes out in a suit. Can you say heel turn?

Most def. Funny thing is after Angle lost the belt initially to AJ in the Triple Threat match where Angle never got pinned, he did a face turn and Styles was the good guy. Three months or so later, enter Ric Flair and Styles does a heel turn. Huh? Excuse me Doug E Fresh. What just happened here?

So,now the good guy is the bad guy and the bad guy is the good guy.

Confused? So am I. Out comes Angle and Hogan. Angle is quiet and Hulk does all the talking. Hogan tells Styles and Flair that he changed his mind and tonight Angle gets one more shot at the TNA World Championship.

If Ric Flair interferes then Stlyes is stripped of the title. Making Angle the TNA champion. It’s real, it’s damn real. Not sure I like the reality though if AJ Styles is saying Whooooo. Or was that whoa he said? What’s with the mentor storyline anyway? The last one died quick. Remember Taz was Samoa Joe’s mentor when he brought him in. Now Taz is on the mic making Don West look good.

TNA Tag Team Championship – Hernandez & Matt Morgan vs. The British Invasion.

In case you missed Genesis. I told you Super Mex and The Blueprint would take the titles from BI. The BI gets a rematch tonight in the iMPACT! Zone. Super Mex and Morgan take it to the British Invasion. These guys are a great tag team, Two big men, this run should do a lot for their names. The BI turn it around on Super –Blueprint. Only for a short time though. Super Mex gets in the ring and goes on a rampage. Big Rob comes out and tosses Magnus his Feast or Fired case. Hernandez ducks and Magnus hits Williams and Super Mex gets the pin.

After the match Mick Foley rushes the ring and attacks The British Invasion, swinging chairs. He looks to the camera and tells Bischoff he is coming to see him tonight. Bang! Bang!

Bubba recap of his show calling Jeff Jarrett at six in the morning. Jarrett was not too pleased. He hung up on Bubba a few times.

Hogan & Bischoff are in the office discussing their problems and say that Cactus Jack is the first thing they need to straighten out.
In comes Kevin Nash to discuss “The Band” .Where’s this going? Is the party really over?

Orlando Jordan vs. D'angelo Deniro

“Welcome to Orlando, Jordan” Pope you’re growing on me but that was corny pal. I do like the Deniro Drop tho’.

Here we have two former WWE superstars locking up for the first time. This is starting to look like a WWE Invasion of TNA. The Pope got one thing right. Jordan’s hair does look ridiculous. Orlando slaps Pope in the face and the Pope responds by slapping Orlando to death, misses on a move and lands cool as a Camel on the barrier. Jordan goes after Pope’s injured knee and shuts up The Pope by getting the three count. Earlier in the match the crowd chanted “Pope is Pimpin’” Hilarious. Even more funny is Orlando is from Miami Florida.

Angle Interview with Kristy Hemme, where Angle says tonight it’s all about justice. Kurt, it’s not that real, it’s wrestling not UFC. Nash and Young in the back. There he is The Global Champ. Back from nowhere. Young and Nash reconfirm their alliance.

After the commercial, were back to the Bubba/Jarrett Interview. Jeff does seem serious. People either love or hate Hogan. Bubba becomes the mediator between Hogan and Jarrett. Total Non-Stop Anarchy in TNA.

Lashley comes into Bischoff’s office, sorta apologizing…Damn Bobby’s staying it looks like.

Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

Love looks as hot as ever. How did we miss this girl running around Toronto? Madison takes control from the start until Love turns it around and give Rayne a beat down. A driver into the corner and a super kick to Rayne and Love gets the pin.

After the match Love takes off Rayne’s bra top. The rest of the Beautiful People come to the ring and beatdown Love with the Ugly Stick. I can’t get past who looked better Lacie or Velvet. Ahh…I’ll take em both. Beautiful People we still love you……

Six Pac and Scott Hall are in the back with Bubba where Pac says when their around stuff happens. You can say that again Sean. “Take another hit Cheech” Hall says that he and Pac are leaving with TNA goodboy contracts by the end of the night. We’ll see pal.

Hogan and Bischoff come out to the ring. Hulk needs to stop saying “guys”. Hogan calls out Pac and Hall. The Band comes out with Nash and Hogan tells em to hit the road. They don’t work in TNA and things are different now. Honestly Hall had his shot at Genesis and once again he managed to mess it up. Way to go Scott. It wasn’t billed as a Six-Pac/Nash tag match against Beer Money. People wanted to see an Outsiders reunion. But Scott’s too out of shape and more concerned about getting wasted than making money.

What happened Razor? You had so much potential in the beginning. It’s sad.

Security comes out, Waltman’s smoking a cigarette and they get escorted out. Then Foley comes out telling Bischoff he wants to talk. It’s not looking good for Hogan and Bischoff. Looks like total chaos in TNA. The bad is starting to out weight the good I’m sorry to say. Hopefully these guys can turn it around or whatchya gonna do when Dixie Carter gets rid of you Hulk Hogan?

Kevin Nash & Eric Young vs The Nasty Boys

This match was a lot better than I expected. Especially on the Nasty Boys part. “No ring rust here” as stated by Taz.

Taz is full of strange comments. Send him back to Smackdown!.

Sags takes it to Young schooling him, he tags to Knobbs who musta gained a good 150lbs since we last seen him in the ring. Nash tags in and gives Knobbs a bunch of knee lifts and elbows in the corner. Sags comes in and the Nash gets knocked out on the outside of the ring after hitting the ring post courtesy of Knobbs. The Nasty’s double team Young and Sags gets Eric in the Pumphandle Slam and the Nasty Boys get the win.

During the commercial, Team 3D gets some revenge on the Nasty’s by taking them out with chairs on their way back to the dressing room. Welcome back to professional wrestling.

Miiiiiiiiiissssssssssssstttttttttter Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnddddddddddersooooooon makes his iMPACT! debut. He does his impersonation of Charlie Brown’s teacher. Whaw whaw whaw.

One thing about Ken. He’s got skills on the mic that’s for sure.
In comes Abyss from behind without Anderson even knowing it. Ol Ken insults Abyss with Abyss right behind him digging a bigger hole for himself. Classic. Abyss clobbers Ken and Ken escapes to the ramp. Not sure I like the ramp going all the way to the top of the ring.

It reminds me of the ramp back in the day at Maple Leaf Gardens that used to go right to the top of the ring.

The ramp is good but it should go to the floor not the top of the ring. Now the wrestlers can’t run all the way around the ring.

Abyss is in the back apologizing to Bishcoff for what he just did to Anderson. Abyss asks if he’s gonna be ok. Eric says it depends on his friend Mick Foley. Foleys in Eric’s office restrained by security and says he wants to speak to Eric and it’s for his ears only. I hope Mick understands we’re listening. Foley may not like what Eric did to his old office but I like the new look, even the new TNA logo. For now.I’ll have to design one and submit it. Every thing in TNA is looking cleaner now.

Main Event: TNA World Championship – AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

Taz and Tenay call Ric Flair the greatest world champion ever? Not TNA world champion that’s for sure.

AJ goes right in off on Angle right off the hop. Angle turns the tide and Kurt is tenacious in this match. Cover after cover attempt by Angle on Styles. AJ hits Kurt with a low blow. Totally heel turn here with Styles. Angle mounts a comeback but Styles clips Kurt’s leg and puts Angle in the Figure Four Leg Lock. Kurt breaks the hold by getting to the ropes.

They trade punches until Angle gets Styles in a belly to belly suplex. Angle Slam attempt by Angle followed by three German Suplex’. Pin attempt by Kurt and AJ barley kicks out. Angle takes the straps down but gets caught by the Pellee kick from Styles. AJ sets up Angle for the Styles Clash but Kurt reverses.

Angle puts Styles in the Angle lock, but AJ reverses the hold.

Suddenly the ref (Earl Hebner) calls for the bell and AJ rushes out of the ring. Flair greets him and they rush off.

Angle is pissed and everyone is wondering what happened. Angle didn’t even tap.

After the match Hogan comes out. Kurt yells at him from the ring and says he quits, he can go back to the WWE and yells at Hogan some more. Then he spits in Hulk’s face. Wait, Stop. Did these guys just copy the “Montreal Screw Job: that the WWE just put to bed after 12 years.

If so that was wack as hell and gets a big NOoooo!!! From me. At the same time Kurt seemed sincere in his comments. We’ll see.

Angle flips out and starts destroying the set at the top of the ramp. During the commercial. I loved how the crowd chanted “You screwed Kurt” – That’s original guys, for a moment there I thought they were chanting “Thank you Kurt” after he spit on Hogan.

After the commercial break a bloodied Eric Bischoff comes out to the ring, grabs a mic and screams “Mick Foley your fired”.

Let me get this straight. Foley is fired, Jarrett is suing, Angle just quit. Is this where the alliance begins? Three former enemies unite. Now what about Sting?

Tha O of the night has to go to Kurt Angle spitting in Hogan’s face. I didn’t see that one coming.

Plenty of guys missing this week. MCMGs, Beer Money, Samoa Joe, Scott Steiner, Kong and Hamada, Tara, ODB, most of the X Divison. Tomko, Raven, Dr. Stevie and the list goes on.

All and all not a bad iMPACT! this week. Total Non-Stop Anarchy. It wasn’t great either. But it was better than RAW on Monday that’s for sure. Things don’t seem to be going well for Hogan and Bischoff, I’m hoping that this is all part of the act. It can’t be that messed up. Can it?

Tha Results:

Hernadez & Matt Morgan def. British Invasion
Orlando Jordan def. D'angelo “The Pope” Deniro
Angelina Love def. Madison Rayne
The Nasty Boys def. Kevin Nash & Eric Young
AJ Styles def. Kurt Angle


5 comments: on "Tha iMPACT! Playback"

Tha Truth said...

If you designed a logo for TNA, it would look like it came from a six-year-old. Just like your articles. How much editing did Dan have to do on this one?

David Strickland said...

I'm getting sick of the disrespect and unappreciation for a man's time and effort.

Next week, "The Truth" you can write the iMPACT! Playback since you dislike my articles so much and wanna call me out.

Enjoy tuff guy

BigDaddy said...

Be nice on old Gordo. He tries real hard.

Anonymous said...

Nice Cartman impression. "Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

romello said...

Yo Strickland! Keep on doing what you do Bro. Your efforts are greatly appreciated,TRUST! Now on to TNA. The rats that came to the ring with A.J and Flair:COME ON MAN! TNA,is that the best you can do? Those chicks were NOT ready for prime time. You couldn't have found a couple of hotties on the beach? DAMN! Word to whoever:DON'T LET A.J NEAR A MIC EVER! As fun as he is too watch in the ring,dude has the personality of a cold cabbage. They really need to tighten shit up. It wasn't that long ago that A.J was a Heel with Kurt Angle and now he's a heel with Ric Flair and he just doesn't have the Swagger to pull the gimmick off. A.J is the super nice guy Baby-Face and trying to put him ov er as a heel is going to be tougher than trying to convince us that Orlando(Oh My)Jordan is STRAIGHT!