ECW On SyFy Recap

CM Punk is here. "This is where it all began for me. I was ECW champion before I moved on to become the first three-time straightedge world champion. That is ECW's proudest moment.

Like Alexander the Great returning to the land he conquered to uproarious adulation. That's what it'll be like when I go to the ring for my match. It will be the loudest, longest standing ovation in ECW history." Cue the opening music!

Peepulation is in full effect in the crowd judging by the signs. Tonight CM Punk and William Regal take on Christian Cage and R-Truth in the main event. OHHH RADIO, TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. Zack Ryder and Rosa Mendes are on their way to the ring. Like a gentleman, Zack holds open the ropes for her. They each have a mic. "My name is Zack Ryder.

And I know you all know that from all the tweets and messages I get, but I'm not here to talk about me. I'm here to officially introduce you all to ECW's newest diva, Rosa Mendes. Rosa, can I tell you a little secret? Since we started hanging out, my whole life has changed. You're so cool, so smart, so funny.. and Rosa you're so beautiful. I'm so lucky, so lucky that I had you in my corner last week."

Rosa: "You're so sweet. I totally thought you'd win against Shelton! It was like this time I went shopping for boots, I saw them in the window, they were so sexy and hot. And then I thought they were on sale, and I went to pay for them, and they weren't, and I was so upset, and it was like.." Zack interrupts her and says that's a great story but he's here to challenge Shelton Benjamin to a rematch. Rosa says that's like this one time she went out for Mexican food with her girlfriends and ordered tortillas and arroz con pollo and... thankfully Shelton's music interrupts.

"First of all I except your challenge, but let's do it different this week. How about this week, you sit in the corner, and me and Rosa have the match? All I'm saying is we've wrestled a few times already and you've already been a tool. Now with Rosa in your corner you might as well change your name to Black & Decker, because you're a power tool. But if you insist on doing this, let's not wait, let's do it right now!" Ryder: "Not right now bro. But when we do have that match, make sure you never disrespect my girl." Mendes gets in his face and starts talking smack, he turns to look at her, and Zack gives him a cheapshot!

Zack pulls Rosa away and the two flee up the ramp before Benjamin can recover. OHH RADIO. We go to Josh Mathews and Byron Sexton at commentary, and they discuss The Rippa v. The Hurricane. This throws us to a video package putting over the feud between the two in pure comic book fashion, painting Hurricane as Superman and Paul Burchill as Lex Luthor. Okay that's not quite right, it's more like Green Lantern and Sinestro. Either way you get the idea. We go to commercial break.

Shameless plug for www.WWEShop.com when we come back from break at 10:14 PM EST.

* The Hurricane v. Paul Burchill (Mask v. Career Match)

Rippa makes a motion like he'll rip Hurricane's mask off when the bell rings. Burchill with a go behind, Hurricane with an arm wringer into a lateral press, the two stand up like there's a Ring of Honor crowd watching and back apart. No applause. In fact I'm rather disappointed by the reaction given how long this feud has been built up, and the fact they're in Philly. Rippa almost gets no heat at all until he uses the ropes for a break and rolls out to stall. Rippa with a takedown and a cover for one.

Ref calls for a clean break in the corner and Burchill hits a spear. He tries to attack in the other corner but Hurricane gets the boots up for a headscissor sending Rippa to the floor, then dives out on top of him. He throws Burchill back in for a two count. Hurricane with a chinlock but Rippa gets out and fires Hurricane into the ropes. Katie Lea grabs a leg and that enables Rippa to capitalize and toss Hurricane right before we go to commercial.

We get a replay of the high and tight suplex from before commercial break when we come back. Hurricane fights his way out of a beefy arm wrapped around his neck only to get clotheslined right back down to the mat and hit with a knee lunge for 2. Hurricane tries to flip out and gets hit with an even nastier clothesline for a near fall, all while Katie Lea looks on in approval.

Burchill opts for punches and stomps, which Sexton calls "his vicious, aggressive nature." Hurricane ducks a splash in the corner and the crowd cheers as he gets back to his feet. We get a BOO and YAY spot and then they pop for the flying Hurra-press! Good to see the crowd finally getting into it. Neckbreaker by Hurricane for a near fall, and he gets up and signals that it's all over. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked and Burchill hits a pele for 2.9.

Eye is blocked into a northern lights suplex for 2.95. Boot in the corner, another head scissor, the hurricanrana gets 2.98. Katie distracts Hurricane and Burchill hits an overhead slam for 2.995. Eye of the Hurricane finally connects! 1, 2, NO! Rippa kicks out. Hurricane heads for the ropes. Rippa spears him and he falls down. Burchill goes to the apron and climbs up to hook him for a possible superplex to the floor. Hurricane counters into a flying neckbreaker and makes the cover for three! WINNER: THE HURRICANE. Good triumphs over evil!

The Rippa Paul Burchill must leave ECW for good. Wait a minute.. isn't that a victory if he ends up on Raw or Smackdown? I guess there's no real loser in this contest. Katie Lea sure sells it like Burchill's been ruined though as the crowd sings NA NA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, GOODBYE. Katie is in tears. Paul is beside himself. The crowd is booing because he won't just leave.

Backstage the beslinged Tiffany watches. CM Punk walks in and tells her that he's straightedge and says he's done some research. "From what I understand, you like to drink." Tiffany: "I'm not some self-centered anti-social prude. I like to party a bit. You should try it. Loosen up, have some fun, be a human being. Welcome back!" She leaves and Punk just glares at her. Survivor Series and Tony Hawk: Ride commercial break.

DID YOU KNOW? Last week more men watched ECW than Larry King Live. All that tells me is that Larry King Live is more boring than ECW.

* Vance Archer v. Johnny Andrews

Andrews is already in the ring when Archer comes out, and you know what that means. It's hard to botch pushing somebody's ribs through a steel ringpost, but Archer somehow manages to make it look bad. He pulls Andrews up by the hair, lifts him into position, hits his modified neckbreaker and it's all over. WINNER: VANCE HOYT. Josh and Byron run down the main events for Survivor Series and then we see Christian lacing up his boots backstage. Punk: "I used to be ECW Champion myself." Christian: "I know. Straightedge superstar also."

Punk: "That's me!" Christian: "You don't smoke, you don't do drugs... are you even allowed to hold hangs with a girl? I mean if you miss curfew, do you get grounded?" Punk: "Listen I used to be champion." Christian: "One quick thing. I think my peeps would agree, around here they wouldn't call you straightedge... they'd call you a nerd." Punk: "Why don't you show me respect as a former champion. I was the first ever three time world heavyweight straightedge champion." Christian: "You see that's the thing PUNK. You WERE a champion. I still am." Commercial.

We come back from commercial and Jay-Z's "Empire St. of Mind" throws us to a WWE Raw Rebound. Apparently Killa Kev is trying to call me right now. Yes bro, I know that Ring the Bell is on at 11 PM EST in the www.angrymarks.com/chat - you don't need to call to tell me that. Be sure to tune in after ECW to hear what he, Dennin and Nickolye have to say about Raw last night and Turning Point from Sunday night. Thanks to the video package CM Punk doesn't head for the ring until 10:50 PM EST.

* CM Punk & William Regal v. Christian Cage & R-Truth Killings (ECW Main Event)

Punk doesn't get quite the ovation he was hoping for, but Regal does get quite the loud boo. The two exchange a friendly handshake between heels before Christian heads for the ring with the platinum belt around his waist. R-Truth comes out last and does his whole WHASSUP routine, which the crowd sings along with. CM Punk makes a motion with his hand to indicate that Truth is all talk. Three fans in the crowd hold up letters - L, O, L. We don't even get the opening bell until 10:55 PM EST.

Christian and Punk immediately get in a shoving match, Christian drags Regal into the ring the hard way, he tags to Truth and they both hit missile dropkicks to knock their opponents out to the floor before we go to break. When we come back it's so late that Ring the Bell is already on the air in the www.angrymarks.com/chat room. It amazes me that they'd book a main event that I want to see and then edit the show so that most of it actually takes places during commercial. Truth gives Regal a headscissor as we come back and he tags out to Punk. Truth knocks Punk out to the floor with a WHASSUP and Christian hits a dropkick to keep him there, then Truth suicide dives onto him.

Truth goes to throw him in, Regal comes around and chops Truth's knee before he can get in, the ref doesn't see it, and Punk goes right after the left leg as soon as he gets in. Punk and Regal quickly go to work double teaming on Truth, Regal looking particularly vicious as only he can like he wants to rip the thigh bone right out the hip socket. Mathews reminds us Survivor Series is this Sunday as Punk takes his turn, then Regal tags back in to drop an arm on the leg and then attempt to put Truth in a leg submission. Punk tags back in. Truth finally escapes the double team for a hot tag at 11:04 PM EST.

Christian hits a tornado DDT on Punk for two then a flying forearm to set up killswitch. Punk blocks it. Christian counters GTS. Punk blocks killswitch again. Running knee from Punk. Bulldog countered into a near fall before Regal makes the save. Clusterfuck! Regal hits a knee trembler to block the killswitch from being engaged, Punk hits the G2S and covers Christian for three. WINNERS: WILLIAM REGAL AND CM PUNK.

The heels celebrate like they just won the world championship, all smiles and hugs, as the two babyfaces are left laying prone in the ring. We get a replay of the G2S by "the straightedge CM Punk" and go back to Regal mocking Christian in the ring before ECW goes off the air.

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