Tha Raw Report

I fully expected to go into this review spewing nothing but venom and bile for Monday Night Raw. After all, even the usually emotionless play-by-play recaps from our friends at Angry Marks got a little angered last week by the product. However, having sat through all of "Raw", I have to say that I can't hate on it. Mind you, that doesn't mean the show was great, by any stretch. But it wasn't as bad as other recent installments of "Raw".

Snoop Dogg as the host, I can be down with. He's a big WWE fan, having appeared in the crowd at "Raw" multiple times over the years, and that's a big deal. I don't like the guest host gimmick (more on that later), but if WWE is intent on sticking with it, it makes a lot of sense to have guest hosts who are WWE fans and not just a popular celebrity looking to promote something. Any "Raw" with such a guest host is bound to be terrible.

Snoop started off the night by doing something really crazy. Making wrestling matches. Holy cow, for a second I forgot that I was watching "Raw". But then The Squash Squad (D-X) came out and reminded me very quickly. I don't think the need for dissention was really all that necessary. The entire segment could have been handled much better, or just altogether scrapped. Good to see Swagger getting some shine, though. I could go on for a good long while about this guy's upside.

Ted DiBiase seems to be on the brink of a face turn. Part of me thinks that DiBiase will be the deciding factor in this Sunday's Iron Man Match. While I don't want to see Cena with the WWE Championship again for a long, long time, at least DiBiase getting involved will help "Raw" out. It will spark a feud between DiBiase and Orton, which will hopefully elevate DiBiase the way it did when Orton and Triple H had a similar feud back in 2004.

I can't even hate on Cena in this article, because Cena and Triple H put on a fairly decent match by any standards, and by recent "Raw" standards, they put on one hell of a match. I don't normally like to give WWE commentators any credit unless their name is Matt Striker, but I will. Cena and Triple H's match last night went for approximately 20 minutes, and both men did a good job of looking very gassed at the end of the match (Trips moreso than Cena, but Trips sells better than Cena, what else is new). Michael Cole pointed out that while Cena and Triple H were worn out from their match, it was still only one-third the amount of time that Cena will have to wrestle on Sunday at Bragging Rights. Maybe it's not the most insightful thing a commentator has ever said, but to me, it did a fairly good job of pointing out just how brutal the concept an Iron Man Match really is.

Actually, I can hate on John Cena. His melancholy demeanor after losing to Triple H, as if he was already off of "Raw", cements the fact that he's walking out of Bragging Rights this Sunday as the WWE Champion. Fuck!

We've had a Marty Jannetty sighting. All I can say is I hope Marty's life is back on track. I don't hope that the comparisons between The Rockers and Miz & Morrison turn out to be prophetic though. Morrison is a surefire future main eventer, and The Miz is a very underrated heel who could be a cornerstone of WWE's midcard if they let him.

Melina defeated Jillian. They could have done a lot more with this match had they not made it entirely about Chavo and Hornswoggle again. Does WWE even have a plan for where they're taking that story? My guess is no, because they never seem to have a plan with angles that involve Hornswoggle.

Next came the main event of the night. Well, sort of. Instead of fighting, Chris Jericho grabbed a microphone and berated Shawn Michaels and Team "Raw". By the way, the introductions of Jericho and Michaels finished after 11; could you have made it more obvious that no real fight was going to happen?

Anyway, out comes Team "SmackDown!" (a very weak team, mind you), followed by Team "Raw". Vickie Guerrero comes out (Didn't she leave to spend more time with her kids? I guess three months is all it takes to get sick of them), and a brawl ensues. Not the greatest way to end "Raw", but it at least makes sense that a giant brawl would break out.

Sadly for WWE, though, I have absolutely zero interest in either driving to Pittsburgh or buying Bragging Rights this sunday. Cena's going to win, I have an uneasy feeling that Batista's going to win, Team "Raw" will more than likely roll over Team "SmackDown!", and I have no interest in the Divas match. Sorry, it's going to take a lot more than John Morrison vs. The Miz to get me to watch. More importantly, I feel that the concept for this Sunday is somewhat shortchanged anyway. It's called Bragging Rights, so make the whole show about bragging rights. Have every match be a "Raw" vs. "SmackDown!" affair. That way, the teams can be full of main eventers instead of having a guy who's only had one match in WWE thus far. For a once a year show, I think it would be a good draw.

Next week, "Raw" will be in Buffalo. I will not be there, and after hearing that Kyle Busch and Joey Logano are the guest hosts, I'm actually kind of glad.

Tha Results:
*Big Show, Mark Henry, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston & Jack Swagger def. MVP, Evan Bourne, Primo, Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters
*Randy Orton def. Ted DiBiase
*Triple H def. John Cena
*The Miz def. Marty Jannetty
*Melina def. Jillian
*Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho ended in a No Contest

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