ECW On SyFy Recap

It's Tuesday night, which means it's time for another ECW on SyFy Recap! We open with William Regal. "I regret to inform you our esteemed GM Tiffany was in a horrific car accident.

She will make a full recovery, but tonight she's at home nursing her injuries. WWE's Board of Directors made me the interim GM due to my past experience, but instructed me not to make any direct decisions that effect the ECW title such as #1 contender matches.

Therefore tonight's main event will not be a one-on-one rematch between Christian and Zack Ryder, but a match between Christian, his opponent Zack, and Vladimir Kozlov, and Ezekiel Jackson, AND me in a 4-on-1 handicap." Cue the opening spiel, "the entire world is watchin'" and DON'T QUESTION MY HEART because it's time for ECW!

Oh no. "Tonight Abraham welcome" another shitty ECW segment with Tony Atlas. Do I really have to recap this crap every week? Cthulhu, why hast thou forsaken me? Bring your tentacled fury down upon this steaming pile of sports entertainment! Tonight's special guest is John Morrison, who commits the cardinal sin of wearing a t-shirt with his own face on it, which is sending this segment downhill even faster. I miss the days when he was an egotistical prick heel with fur robes.

Morrison plugs his shirt being on the WWE Shopzone website and I want to throw up. They ALMOST get a laugh from me when Morrison says if this was the Dirt Sheet, Atlas would be The Miz, getting Atlas to yell out loud I'M AWESOME! Morrison goes on to say he shouldn't compare the two, because Atlas is a Hall of Famer, but Miz never will be.

Dolph Ziggler interrupts. The more interruptions, the better. Abe blames Tony Atlas for booking guests on his show and tells DOLPH LUNDGREN to get lost. Washington says he doesn't want to go APOLLO CREED on him, then Morrison points out that Dolph killed Apollo in Rocky IV.

Washington quickly says we're all out of time, Dolph, have your people call my people, and Dolph raises a hand in a threatening manner. Morrison cuts him off and says GOOD NIGHT MR. ZIGGLES. Tony Atlas says good night Mr. ZIGGLER and the Abe Washington music plays. Thank Cthulhu that only took 10 minutes, praise his dark name if it only takes 1 next time.

Zack Ryder meets Regal backstage and says he doesn't need the help, thanks but no thanks. Regal says too bad, because the Board of Directors just added Yoshi Tatsu, Tommy Dreamer and Goldust to Christian's team. Ryder mocks him. Regal: "Are you questioning my abilities as a General Manager?" Ryder: "You know it." Bad move Zack, Regal's gonna hit you with a knee trembler later on. Commercial! Promo for Hell in a Cell this Sunday when we come back.

We're back and we're in Boston, and if you're following Nickolye on Twitter he's been providing Smackdown spoilers all night. It's time for another match!

* 'The Rippa' Paul Burchill v. 'Gold Standard' Shelton Benjamin

We get footage of Shelton and Sheamus fighting on Abe Washington's show last week. Sheamus runs down and pearl harbors Benjamin before he can even get to the bottom of the ramp and get in the ring, then proceeds to stomp a mudhole in him as Pirate Paul looks on. Sheamus throws him into the ring and a score of officials send him to the back.

The ref backs Benjamin up and goes over to check on him, asking if he still wants to have the match. Benjamin is getting up slow and holding his left arm the whole way. Benjamin signals to the ref he'll take the match, the bell rings, and Paul immediately spears him in the corner.

Katie Lea looks on. Suplex for a near fall. Paul keeps stomping on the arm Sheamus already injured and keeps making covers. Paul is doing his best to rip that arm out of the socket, then to add insult to injury, he throws Benjamin shoulder first into the steel ringpost. He falls out to the floor in a heap and we go to commercial.

Benjamin is getting a U-S-A chant as we come back, as Pirate Paul has him held down in a combination stretch and arm wringer. Benjamin fights back to his feet with rights to the jaw and knees to the body. Another near fall for Paul. Everytime Benjamin is just about to make a comeback or go top rope, Paul's all over him like flies on shit. The crowd was hot when we came back from break but they've gone cold since.

They're not even reacting to Benjamin tripping him into the post, just BARELY pop when he leaps up to hit Paydirt, but they do count along for the 1-2-3. WINNER: SHELTON BENJAMIN. Benjamin leaves selling his arm all the way and we get a promo card for the eight-man tag match main event leading into the commercial break.

I just wanted to take a moment during the commercial break to note that Samoa Joe is trying to raise money for disaster relief in the Samoas, which were hit VERY hard in the last 24 hours by a 7.9 magnitude earthquake. The donation link is http://bit.ly/1HDk6V and if you're on Twitter or any other social networking site please spread the word. Thank you.

Matt Striker thanks Skillet for the song "Monster" when we come back. I still think they sound like a cheap ripoff of Fozzy. We go to a video package recapping the feud between John Cena and Randy Orton, including their brutal match at Breaking Point. They run down the card for the PPV when we return, which you can see HERE. Afterwards Christian gives Dreamer, Tatsu and Goldust a pep talk backstage about their 8-man war.

Tatsu and Christian nearly get into a bowing contest, saying "thank you" to each other over and over. Christian says one word comes to mind when he looks at Goldie: "FREAK!" At first Goldie is dismayed, but Christian says he's an important part of this team's success tonight. We go to commercial after the heels make their way to the ring.

* Regal/Kozlov/Jackson/Ryder v. Christian/Dreamer/Tatsu/Goldust (Main Event)

The last man to come out for the main event is Christian at 10:48 PM EST. Dreamer and Ryder are the men who start us off. Dreamer overpowers him easily and tags in Goldie, who hits an atomic drop and a short arm for a one count. Ryder tags out to Koz. Goldie tags out to Tatsu who hits a burning hammer. Koz tags out to Zeke, who Tatsu fends off with kicks until he hits a slam. Tatsu gets out of the way of an elbow drop and a charge in the corner and Goldie is tagged back in.

Zeke pummels him and then tags out to Regal, who does more of the same, who quickly tags Ryder in to do more damage. Goldie counters with a drop down punch and a bulldog and tags in Christian. Ryder is hit with a flying elbow. Zack Attack is blocked, Christian hits a flashpoint for 2, and Dreamer is tagged in for a double team assault on Zack. Dreamer is yanked off the second rope by Ryder off a distraction, Regal gets the tag, and Regal starts to work him over as we go to a break.

We're reminded of the "controversy" of Breaking Point, and the fact this will be settled inside the confines of a steel cage at Hell In A Cell this Sunday.

Be sure to check AngryMarks.com on Sunday night as I'll have a live recap of the entire show as it occurs! Speaking of which we're back to ECW, where Dreamer is being worked over by Big Zeke. The ref is distracted so his chums can attack Dreamer some more, and Zeke hits a scoop slam for 2. He drags Dreamer's carcass to the heel corner and tags in Koz. Koz works on him and tags in Regal, who can loudly be heard telling Dreamer that he's "BLOODY PATHETIC."

Nice touch Sir William! Zeke gets tagged back in after a beating. Christian gets a hot tag but Koz pulls down the ropes to send him tumbling out to the floor. Zeke suplexes him back into the ring when he gets on the apron. The Boston crowd really doesn't seem to be that into this match.

I'll be interested to hear Nickolye's thoughts on Ring the Bell after having been there live. Regal comes back in, prevents Christian from tagging out, and Kozlov comes in. I'm normally not in favor of piping in crowd noise, but this match could have used some. Dreamer does his best to encourage the crowd to clap as Koz stretches out Christian over his back. Christian is slammed down in the heel corner, and Zack gets the tag so he can stomp on his back.

Zack scissors the ribs to zap his strength then tags out to Koz. The lack of reaction from the Boston crowd is as palpable as it is stunning. Whatever took place before ECW tonight positively killed the building. Christian finally escapes and tags are made to Tatsu and Ryder by their respective teams. Roaring Misawa elbow by Tatsu!

Tatsu goes top rope with a spinning heel kick that connects, Zeke makes the save, and everybody hits the ring in a big clusterfuck. The ring clears and Tatsu hits the YAKUZA KICK on Regal, who had apparently gotten the legal tag, and covers for three! WINNERS: THE BABYFACES. That's it for ECW tonight!

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