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ECW On SyFy Recap

Tiffany's music plays and she shakes hands with the fans on her way to the ring. "The WWE Universe is still buzzing about Breaking Point. I am especially proud of the ECW Championship Match, which is why I came out here to talk about tonight's..." and William Regal's music interrupts.

He walks down to the ring in a sharp suit flanked by his two big muscular cronies. Regal: "I'm very sorry for the interruption but, madam may I say you look absolutely lovely this evening.

It goes without saying that, you look lovely every evening but exceptionally beautiful tonight. I'd also like to say that I think you're doing a wonderful job as General Manager.

Having been someone who's been in your shoes and fulfilled the role of GM for a lot longer than you have, I thought I should come out here and talk about what happened at Breaking Point. You have a keen eye for talent just as I do, talent as wonderful as Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson. I wanted to know why you felt the need to ban these two gentlemen from ringside during my championship match."

Tiffany: "Mr. Regal, I appreciate you coming to me. As a former GM you understand the importance of keeping the lines of communication open. I wanted to keep this match one-on-one with no outside interference." Regal: "If you don't mind me saying madam, I think your decision was a little rash, and it did cause me unnecessary grief in my preparation as they had to leave. Therefore I think it's only fair you allow me another match."

Tiffany: "As a former GM, you should understand that different stars deserve a fair opportunity, which is why I've decided not to give you a rematch. That's why tonight we'll have a Battle Royale to determine a #1 contender. Gentlemen, get ready and good luck." They all start to walk away. "Actually Mr. Regal you can stay right here. I told you that you're not getting another shot. In fact, your match starts RIGHT NOW." Hurricane's music hits!

* The Hurricane v. William Regal

Before the match can start we go to a commercial break. Hurricane is flying around the ring when we come back. Regal tries to toss him to the floor, but Hurricane comes right back in and dumps him over the ropes. Regal begs the announcers for help but Hurricane doesn't let up and throws him right back in the ring to give him a high back bodydrop. It should be noted Regal is still in most of his fancy duds, save for the sport coat. Hurricane stomps on him and Regal cries in pain, but he soon recovers and goes on offense as the crowd chants REGAL SUCKS. Hurricane counters with a flying crossbody and a suplex into a lateral press for a near fall. Hurricane slams Regal down and goes to the top rope, and hits Regal with another Hurricane press off the top rope for a near fall.

Regal's had enough and as Striker says, "The Bruno Malis are talking a walk!" Hurricane throws him right back in again but Regal hits a knee trembler. At first Hurricane gets a foot on the rope, but Regal knocks it off and makes the cover. WINNER: WILLIAM REGAL. Regal stumbles backwards up the ropes holding his jaw. Pirate Paul clotheslines Hurricane from behind immediately after the match to a chorus of boos.

Backstage Goldust is apologizing to Yoshi Tatsu for getting a gutbuster last week. Tatsu asks to practice english. Goldie makes him practice by saying "Which way to the train station?" and "How much for a cup of cofee-EE-EE-EEE!" Zach Ryder asks him if he can say loser, and Tatsu smiles at him and says "ZACK... RYDER." Ryder is not amused and challenges him to a match, which apparently we'll get NEXT! Commercial.

Teaser for Batista appearing on Smackdown this week when we come back from the break. Random backstage chick comes up to interview Paul, and he says Hurricane is only a superhero when it suits him, and he put Paul's sister Katie Lea in harm's way. "He's a fake, and a phony, and I'm not going to stop until I expose and eliminate him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Battle Royale to go win." And now for unknown reasons, the Bella Twins are coming out to be "special ring announcers." They are so useless. "The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Tokyo, Japan - Yoshi Tatsu! ... And his opponent from Long Island, New York - Zack Ryder!"

* Zack Ryder v. Yoshi Tatsu

Striker says Ryder has the hottest entrance song in all of wrestling and Mathews questions whether or not he has swine flu, and says Striker has a MAN CRUSH on him. Ryder immediately starts working Tatsu's left arm after the bell rings. Tatsu rolls through and reverses the arm wringer. One loud female fan is actually screaming C'MON ZACK, which is easy to hear since the crowd is otherwise dead. I haven't heard less noise for a match in quite a while. Tatsu hits Ryder with a dragon roll and puts his shoulders on the mat for two.

He whips Ryder into the corner, but he gets out of the way and knocks Tatsu down, then stomps on his head and puts a boot to his throat for good measure. Ryder puts him in a chinlock, Tatsu gets to his feet, but Ryder gets a handful of hair and throws him back down, then puts a vice grip around his neck on the mat. Tatsu tries to get free so Ryder switches to a crossface, but he refuses to tap.

Ryder keeps on grinding away on him but Tatsu hits a Mitsuharu Misawa roaring elbow, which Striker all but calls by name (WWE probably told him not to say the name of a dead wrestler). Tatsu and Ryder both recover, Tatsu nearly gets him off the top rope (knocking off the headband in the process), Ryder nearly gets him with a leg lariat, but Tatsu wins with a yakuza kick for three! WINNER (confirmed by the Bella Twins): YOSHI TATSU. We get a replay of the kick right behind the ear and go to break.

Video recap of the Orton v. Cena match from the Breaking Point PPV when we come back. Striker and Mathews remind us they'll have a rematch at the Hell in a Cell PPV, as will DX and Legacy, both contested inside the steel cage.

* ECW #1 Contender's Battle Royale

Tony Chimel introduces the match and the first man to come out for it is 'Gold Standard' Shelton Benjamin. The next to come out is Vladimir Kozlov. Ezekiel Jackson is third. Tommy Dreamer comes out fourth. Goldust is fifth. I guess this is how we find out how many people are actually on the ECW roster! Tyler Reks is sixth. Sheamus the Angry Pale Celtic Warrior is lucky #7 before Josh Mathews throws us to a commercial break.

Tatsu appears to be #8 and Pirate Paul #9 as we come back from break, and Zack Ryder is #10. Striker predicts that Sheamus will win the match, then changes his mind and says it could be Zeke or Kozlov. Eventually Mathews mocks him and says "you just picked everybody."

Striker actually puts over PSYCHOLOGY for a Battle Royale, right before Shelton uses an exploder suplex to eliminate Paul Birchill, saying "your experienced wrestlers stay in the corner of the ring as they have more ropes to hold and it's harder to be tossed out." Striker is my favorite announcer in all of WWE save Jim Ross. The battle continues down one man as Big Zeke tries to toss Tommy Dreamer out, but he lands on the apron and is safe for the moment. Sheamus is working hard on Tatsu.

Kozlov is working on Goldie. Goldust manages to fight out with a rapid series of punches and pops the crowd enough to get a GOLDUST chant. Jackson and Kozlov start clearing house, and Zeke nearly gets Shelton out, but only one foot touches the floor and he gets back in. Tatsu lands on the apron when he nearly gets tossed. Zeke and Jackson stare each other down as we go to commercial with no new eliminations.

We see clips of Undertaker getting screwed at the Breaking Point PPV when we come back.

Kozlov is spearing Sheamus in the corner. During the break Big Bad Vlad tossed out Reks. Zeke herks up and tosses out Tatsu right as we get a quote from "contemporary poet" Maynard James Keenan (Tool) from Striker. This man is winning on all accounts - his commentary is keeping me interested in a largely boring main event. Tommy Dreamer makes the save right as Goldie is about to be eliminated by Zeke, to the approval of the crowd. Another GOLDUST chant breaks out. He's the most popular man in the building tonight!

In fact I don't think anybody got a crowd chant OTHER than him. Benjamin rocks Sheamus and clotheslines him out! Zeke nearly gets him out, Benjamin hangs on to the ropes, Zeke comes over to push him off and gets head scissored out! The crowd pops big for Benjamin eliminating him, then boo when the already eliminated Sheamus yanks him off the apron. The elimination counts and officials have to separate them as they brawl on the floor. Our four men left are Tommy Dreamer, Zach Ryder, Bad Vlad and Goldie. Koz goes to work on Dreamer in one corner, while Ryder and Goldie slug it out in the middle.

Each time Goldie hits an offensive move, the crowd pops. An atomic drop and a toss, but Ryder survives and lands on the apron. Ryder tries to snap Goldie's neck off the ropes. Goldie comes back over to clothesline him, again Ryder lands on the apron, Goldie charges the ropes and Ryder pulls them down to send him flying out. The crowd BOOOOOOOS loudly. We're down to three.

Koz charges Dreamer, he pulls the ropes down and Koz tumbles out. Down to two! Ryder comes up from behind Dreamer while he's still holding on to the ropes and flips him up over the top and out! WINNER AND NEW #1 CONTENDER: ZACK RYDER.

2 comments: on "ECW On SyFy Recap"

Asai said...

I O'd for Zach Ryder winning the Royale. Yeah he's got a bad gimmick (Long Island/Jersey Shore stereotype?) the guy is alright in the ring and can put on an interesting match with Christian like they did in an ECW main event a couple of months ago.

TWK said...

WOO WOO WOO I smell new champ, hopefully.