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8.03.2009

Tha Raw Report: D-Generation O...NO!

I can't, but I really wanted to. I wanted to be positive. I wanted to Dante Ross this column. I can't. Did you see that? Piven is hilarious, Dr. Ken is a retard, and that was just ludicrous (no not the rapper) enough to be entertaining and funny, nothing else. Diva's tag match that's usually good for us.

Carlito/Primo feud concluded on "Raw," meh, I can deal, hell it was a good enough match. The stipulation with my new fave the Miz and Cena was overdone, but worked in this situation, and Sarge as next weeks host, hype. Triple H ruined it, he just killed it. The bastard had two words for me. "Fuck fans."

Did I a get a Piven heel turn? Let's hug it out you little Oster bitches! While the heels were making their way to the ring I was horrified. I just knew that D-Generation Old was going to make the save and bail Cena out and make him the new third member. That vision will still haunt me. I'm not talking about them anymore if I can help it.

When Piven was standing on the top rope, if I'm not mistaken he gave the throat slashing gesture, that's a no-no. Dr. Ken is a real Dr., and he is either the most hyperactive man, or the most retarded genius in the world. I could give a baboon crack and it wouldn't act that erratic.

After watching the Cena/Miz match though, I'm convinced that wrestling is predetermined. I swear there is a guy, or a grop of people behind that curtain that sit there and think up these matches and the way end and everybody is in on it but us. Had you asked me that 24 hours ago I would have called you a liar, but today, I'd agree.

Really though, I'm assuming that Piven's ruling goes and Miz is gone from "Raw." Problem is where does he go? Back to ECW or over to "SmackDown?" If he does go over to "SmackDown" there is a feud waiting in the wings. This could actually branch out and touch several different workers.

Shad and JTG take the straps from Jerishow. Show does his thing with whatever it is he does. Cryme Tyme do their thing, something involving money and money...yeah yeah and maybe involve the Hart Corporation (which would satisfy some Osters). As for Miz and Jericho? They already have a feud via Twitter according to the web. Go with that. Work it in.

It would move Miz up the card, give him a rub and give "SmackDown" another heel at the upper mid card level. One problem though, heel v heel hardly works so which guy goes face? Neither, this is the one heel v heel that would work. They're different types of heels. One would be the hace or the feel, and it would work. It may actually work well.

The MVP/Jack Thwagger feud is like slow, slow burn. I forgot it was going to be a feud until tonight, and now I wish I could forget again. Thwagger may be a good worker, he may be big, he may be strong, but there isn't a damn thing he does in the ring that interests me.

I don't know if anyone remembers during their feud for the IC strap when Johnny Nitro (at that time) and Jeff Hardy exchanged promos and Hardy threw paint on the wall and said watching paint dry was more entertaining than Nitro. Well yeah, smelling shit dry is more entertaining than Jack Thwagger.

It's the way I felt about Miz three years ago, times ten. Maybe Thwagger will grow on me, just like Miz did. See though with Thwagger it is a tumor, with Miz it's not a tumor. I'll never diss Thwaggers working, but everything else, yeah it's fair game. AS a whole, he sucks.


4 comments: on "Tha Raw Report: D-Generation O...NO!"

Matt said...

I'm just going to write this week off, pretend it didnt happen, and move on. Maybe ECW will be good.

D. Ross said...

What the hell kind of review was this?! Who the fuck do you think you are not wriitng every fucking armbar, droptoe hold, and drop of sweat?! Shit, man!

Had to throw that out there before anyone else did. When did I become an adjective? Or is it verb? Either way, thanks. I knew Miz grew on me when I made a CAW of the guy.

I was talking to Kingdom and he was telling me about Raw and I refused to watch it. I dont wanna see a DX reunion. I dont wanna see the star of "P.C.U" host the show. It doesn't interest me at all. His new movie looks terrible. Sucks you had to cover this episode.

I'm looking forward to ECW and Superstars. Maybe they can clean up the mess Raw made.

Hipnosis said...

ECW ECW ECW ECW!!!

Who's Goldust or Regal Jobbing to tonight?....I really hope Regal gets a ECW title push though

But what im really looking foward to his big ZEEK and Vlad

CJ said...

Mannnn your so wrong. I was hooked on Miz for a loooooooong time now, when no one else was. And Im hooked on Swagger too. How can u think he sucks?? He is young as hell, he will get better the longer he wrestles...he jus needs a great breakout feud, however it wont be with MVP. MVP sucks as a face...really really bad. But I hope Miz goes to ECW, because if he does, he will be a big fish in a small pond. All ECW has as main event heels is Shelton, and Zack Ryder (maybe), and thats pretty much it. So i vote for him to go to ECW and leave the Morrison vs Miz feud for later on down the road once Miz is a REAL main eventer, or close to it....