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ECW On SyFy Recap

* The Hurricane v. Paul Burchill

We get highlights of Hurricane's in-ring debut last week. The first few minutes of the show are spent on this plus the introductions of both men plus their entrance music. Pirate Paul is of course accompanied by Katie Lea.

Burchill is unimpressed by Hurricane's superhero shenanigans, while Striker puts over the notion he's never seen Hurricane and Gregory Helms in the same place at the same time. Burchill gets fed up after being no-sold for a couple minutes and charges Hurricane, who pulls down the ropes to send him to the floor then FLIES on top of him to wipe him out. We go to commercial.

We're back from commercial with the Rippa beating up Hurricane during the break and slamming him into the barricade outside. Striker mockingly says we've now returned to THE HALL OF JUSTICE for more action. Burchill is in full control inside the ring, working over the head and neck, as Striker reminds us Hurricane's spent time off with a neck injury. Flying knees for a near fall.

Burchill cranks on the neck on the ground but eventually Hurricane escapes and even manages to hit a flying crossbody. Striker: "It's time for Hurricane to summon all of his superpowers if you will." Moments later: "Lightning quick like Barry Allen with the speed of The Flash!" Burchill has some fancy moves of his own though including flipping a pair of boots into Helms face for a near fall. Helms respond with a huricanrana for a near fall. Shining Wizard is blocked, but the EYE OF THE HURRICANE connects for 3. WINNER: HURRICANE HELMS. Striker: "My Spidey Senses are tingling!" Good opener for ECW this week. WWE shows us a replay of highlights.

Backstage is Courtney Taylor, the newest member of the ECW broadcast team. Generic blonde bimbo #3 interviews Dreamer. "Tonight I'm looking forward to fighting someone I DON'T like... you need to go." William Regal interrupts the interview. Dreamer is about to have words with him and Kozlov jumps him from behind for a headbutt and a beatdown, all at Regal's direction. Kozlov leaves him laying in a heap as we go to a break.

After the break we're reminded that has over 1500 matches available from WCW to WWE to NWA to World Class. So does my basement - what's their point? Speaking of pointless, it's time for THE ABRAHAM WASHINGTON SHOW. I suggest taking a bathroom break now. He makes fun of Kansas City for being uneducated and illiterate. Wow, this is groundbreaking heel tactics. I've never seen any one do that before.

Truly he is a master of his craft at getting heat. By the way, speaking of old tired routines, I've got a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you. Anyway his guest on the "show" tonight is Goldust. To go from bad to worse, they're making Goldie do the Tourette's gimmick, which he calls "ticks." Washington says he needs to take his medicine then W-W-WELCOMES Sheamus to the set. Oh dear. This feud was perfectly fine without Abe's stupid show. Why can't they just fight in the ring, cut their own promos on each other and whatnot? Do we need Abraham the Unwashed Comedian for this? Sheamus calls him a GOLD FREAK. Way to rip off The Rock. They get into a staredown, Abe says we'll see them Sunday, and this trainwreck ends.

Next Generic Blonde #2 interviews Tiffany and she says Tommy Dreamer may not be ready for tonight's tag team main event, so Christian is welcome to find any replacement on the roster. We go to commercial break.

* Zach Ryder v. Yoshi Tatsu

If Blade Braxton is anywhere in the crowd we'd probably see a "THIS MARIO WANTS TO RIDE THAT YOSHI" sign. I haven't yet so I'm guessing he's not there. Ryder is all over Tatsu early from the opening bell, focusing on the left arm and chest of Tatsu with his attack. Eventually Tatsu turns the tables and works over Ryder's left arm in turn, but he gets dumped out to the floor for his troubles.

He comes back in with a series of kicks and a running knee into the corner. Bulldog is blocked but he rolls through and boots Ryder in the head for a near fall. Head kick misses, but a leg sweep by Tatsu connects. He knocks Ryder down but the springboard is blocked and Ryder rolls him up for three. WINNER: ZACH RYDER. "Woo, woo, woo. You know it." Christian and TBA v. Kozlov and Regal is next. First this commercial for WWE: The Rise And Fall of WCW.

Money Mayweather promo for him guest-hosting Raw in Las Vegas next week when we return. After that we go to a Raw Rebound focused on the DX reunion. Afterwards Striker and Mathews run down the SummerFest card, then it's time for our main event.

* William Regal & Vladimir Kozlov v. Christian Cage & Ezekiel Jackson

Before Christian's partner can be revealed, we go to a commercial break. After the commercial break Big Zeke is revealed as the mystery man. Personally I'd have preferred Hurricane Helms, but what can you do? Regal and Christian start the match as we hit 11 o'clock EST, which means Ring the Bell is live right now in the AngryMarks chat. It's only a matter of moments before the Moscow Mauler makes the mag... err tag. Kozlov puts a hurring on the ECW champion, Regal pearl harbors him in the neck for good measure, then Regal takes a few cheapshots when he's unceremoniously dumped out to the floor.

The ref orders Regal to throw him back in for more of a beating and he gladly obliges. Zeke looks on with a look of... well that's not concern, it's more like the face you make when you have diarrhea. The Mauler throws Christian to the heel corner and tags out.

Christian tries a backslide pin to no effect. Springboard sunset flip was better but Kozlov broke it out, causing Zeke to make the save... only for Zeke to give Christian the single-handed chokeslam we'd been expecting all along when he turns around. Regal immediately covers Christian for three. WINNERS: WILLIAM REGAL & VLADIMIR KOZLOV. The whole ring takes turns showing off what they can do to the ECW Champion and that's how a boring and lackluster edition of FCW on SyFy goes off the air.

1 comments: on "ECW On SyFy Recap"

Darth OM said...

Big Zeke Is the truth. He is the next big thing. Big Zeke is the dark Beast that will destroy all of the WWE. GOOD BYE Undertaker, Peace out Shawn, tuff luck hunter.. BIG ZEKE will soon destroy you all