Tha Raw Report: Electric Poultry

Seth Green was the guest host of "Raw" and more than that he put himself in a match, but guess what, that isn't what I'm going to talk about for the most part tonight. I have three things in particular from this week's edition of "Raw" that just blow my mind. I don't mean usual mindless drivel, I mean complete and total, what and why the hell material.

The first thing was the Miz. The E has done so well building this character and allowing him to be a douche to the level he needs to be to get over. So yes, I've gone from the biggest Miz hater anywhere to someone who wouldn't mind being on the bandwagon. Then there was Jack Thwagger beating, yes beating MVP, and last but not least we now have Mark Henry...as a face. Huh? What?

I'll go in reverse order. How the hell do you turn Mark Henry into a face? Why the hell do you turn Mark Henry into a face? Is there not a young up and coming face that you can build up and have them beat Mark Henry in typical WWE "oh my God I can't believe he overcame those odds," fashion.

The idea of he and Jericho as a tag team, and as tag team champions almost instantly appealed. It could so many ways, and hell let Henry go face that way. Have Jericho call himself the brains and Henry the muscle and insult Henry's intelligence until Henry got fed up. Or just have Jericho continue to be a great heel, and he and Henry just dominate other teams both heel and face, well the other two teams.

Mark Henry as a face horrifies me. The possibilities are endless and not all of them are nice to think about. Tell me I'm not the only one who could imagine the E putting tag team gold on Mark Henry and Hornswaggle. Speaking of Hornswaggle why is
he beating Chavo twice? This angers me. Hopefully Chavo doesn't get too depressed.

Jack Thwagger beat MVP. That's dumb. Argue how bright of a future Jack Thwagger has all you want, the two biggest things he has going for him are the fact that he went to OU, and that he sounds like a roided up Dusty. There is absolutely no reason that a viable worker like MVP is getting passed over for the sake of building Thwagger.

Ok now it's time for me eat crow and bitch at the same time. I really detested everything about the Miz. In all fairness I still do, but it works for him and he's over. Because hell froze over tonight when the Miz did his thing and the crowd chanted along that, "I am the Miz and I'm awesome." I couldn't really believe it. But that is the true story of when the crowd chanted along with the Miz.

In all seriousness he went from "main eventing" a PPV with John Cena to mid-card filler with Primo? He didn't even win clean, that's my biggest problem. If you're building a heel, dammit build them. Don't throw shit at the wall and see what sticks.

The backstage segment featuring one Santino Marella, as well as himself, Sheiky, and Trish Stratus in action figure form, Seth Green, John Cena and Treepil Hachay was great. If the E doesn't want Santino to be a full-time in-ring competitor why not have him be a commentator or give him an interview segment on "Raw." He's too good not be used more.

Instead of taking this time to either bitch about or praise the main event, I'll skip it and personally O for the fact that Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill will be the guest hosts of "Raw" next week. If you didn't see "Raw" and/or you don't know who that incredible tag team is, they're ZZ f'n Top. Mark out moment. While on mark out moments I'm going to insert into the end of this article that the swimsuit summer extravaganza or whatever was spectacular. Sub Beth Phoenix for Rosa and it would have been perfect. Alicia Fox is indeed a fox.

Until next time folks...

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