Breakin Down Tha NBA Playoffs

I posted this note on Facebook as a goof, and a few people asked me to re-post on Tha O Show. So BAM, here you go.

I fucking hate the Celtics. KG is a good guy, but he's out so fuck that pompous heel Pierce who thinks he's a basketball god. Speaking of gods, fuck Jesus Shuttlesworth. They can both eat my dick. Oh and let's not forget the most over rated starter to play on a championship team since BJ Armstrong ... Rajon Rondo. I'm a change Rondo's first name to Raon ... cuz that ass eater can't find his J. Eat a dick.

I fuckin hate the Lakers. I like Gasol, but I can't stand D-Fish or YouTube Superstar Odom or The Big Hurt Andrew Bynum. Fuckin Bynum makes Vince Carter look tough. Eat my dick Kobe 24. And then buy me an 8 million dollar diamond after to say sorry.

I fucking hate the Magic. Wow. Howard dunks a lot. Big fucking deal. You got fucking owned by a midget in a dunk off - you cape wearing bitch. Defensive player of the year? Honky, please. The ass cracks that vote this award always hand it to some big oaf who blocks shots and boards. How about a wing who locks down athletes?? Further proof that nobody voting actually watches the fuckin games, they just read the box.

I fucking hate the Bulls. Derek Rose is convinced he's the second coming of Magic Johnson. The kid is alright but fuck, let's not go annointing him yet. John Salmons you fishy fuck - you were sketch when you had a deal to come to Toronto and bolted for the Kings... you dissed us for the fuckin Kings? Choke on nuts. The worst on that team though, is that skrawny, chest pounding bitch Noah. If Joke-Kim did eat my dick, it'd be the biggest meal that anorexic punk has ever had. Stop talking about Florida - nobody cares anymore!

I fuckin hate the Heat. D-Wade you fucking no-shot having, pass fearing, over rated ball hog. How come when I use you in NBA Live 09 you can drain a shot from anywhere but in real life you can't piss in the toilet without missing. The guy lead the league in scoring - and led the league in ignored travels, carrys and push offs. Eat my dick.

I fuckin hate the Cavs. Eat my dick King James and your cast of ass tards who teach kids that if you have one good player, that's all you need. You hear his comments after gane 1?? "My Range? Unlimited". Hey hey hey hey LBJ .... eat my dick and Fuck you.

I fuckin hate the Pistons. My once fav player, Sheed is now a shadow of his former self who gets by yankin jerseys, screamin at teammates and launchin ignorant ass threes. I hate how Tayshaun Prince defies all logic and is good. That kid looks like he'd get owned on a JV team.

I fuckin hate the Nuggets. I liked them when they were Gonzaga ... when they were Cinderalla, and Dikembe and crew knocked off Payton and Kemp's first place sonics. Now, they're a bunch of soft ass, powder blue wearing, coach killin, Chauncy boosting, Melo suckers. Eat a powder blue dick.

I fuckin hate Hornet the Hornets. Why? Because Mo Pete's inconsistent ass used to quietly bitch in Toronto about how he was a starter and deserved to be treated like such. Then he bounces for N.O. and after being used as a starter and feelin all nice, they realized - "oh shit wait .... he sucks. He can eat our stingers / dicks"

I fuckin hate the Mavs. Been there - done that. My love that once existed is gone. You no D-playin muthafuckas bore me now. You ain't been shit since getting merked in the finals. Everyone keeps sayin Bargnani might be like Dirk one day ... If Dirk works harder, he might play as well as Bargs ... but right now he's just a big creme puff euro, waiting to eat dick.

I fuckin hate Utah. It's Utah.

I fuckin hate the Hawks. I mean, how the fuck did these guys get the playoffs??? I'll tell you how - cuz they got a bunch of long ass athletes and most teams in the east NEVER EVER play D. So these fuckers fill it up, start feelin nice, and still don't know how to play. Joe Johnson is a fuckin mercenary. Josh Smith is an egomaniac which a strange little peanut head, Flip Murray has the worst nickname i've heard. Call him Dick Eater Murray. That's rough.

I fuckin hate the Rockets. They took my fav Raptor Jorge Garbajosa and renamed him Luis Scola. Don't be fuckin fooled y'all. That's Garbo under a mask. Fuckin work. How is Yao NOT THE MAN in the league yet? Seriously? If they win it all without that spoiled cunt McGrady, I won't fuckin hate them anymore. But they'll powder in the first like always.

I fuckin hate the Spurs. They've got two Raptor rejects playing MAJOR roles - Bonner and fuckin Mason Jr. How the hell did these guys not play like that for us? I hate Drew Gooden almost as much as Joke-Kim Noah but for christ sakes Spurs ... you won your titles - fuck off already.

I fuckin hate the Sixers. Seriously. How is Donyell still fuckin playing? Any team that has that immobile fuck on the floor has lost my respect. Hey Reggie Evans - what the fuck you smilin about? Just ate some good dick?

By default I guess this means I'm picking the Blazers to win it all. Except for one problem.

I fucking hate the Blazers. Brandon Roy's a nice player, but then you got these big back climbiing bitches like Aldridge and Frye - and you got the paper mache kid, Greg Oden.

I think I'm tapping out, and waiting for Vegas Summer League.

Share |