Credit to WWE. Just when I thought I couldn't come with any more disses for the concept of the brand split and the drafting that is never really of any consequence, they go ahead and make all the retardedness work for them.No WWE Superstar truly belongs to any one brand. Miz & Morrison are on every show. Matt Hardy was ECW champ but now feuds on "SmackDown!". Who can keep track? The point I've FINALLY come to terms with is...who cares?
WrestleMania 25 is on the way and the E is doing the RIGHT thing but utlizing both "Raw" AND "SmackDown!" to push BOTH major title feuds. On last week's "SmackDown!", Randy Orton and crew pulled another jumpalaz on Triple H.
All the more reason to watch "Raw" this week. While the E still has another draft planned - only God knows why - I like that the E is basically currently brandless. From one show to the next, you need to pay attention to all of them to follow the storylines to their full capacity.
This also allows for proper angle-pushing for the biggest event of the year. And they've been doing a pretty good job of it so far. The HBK/Taker encounter is also part of the "Raw"/"SmackDown!" double-ups in the promotion category.
I'm no believer that Shawn Michaels will end the 'Mania winning streak of The Deadman, but I'm definitely confident that this may be the match of the night. I'm a huge mark for both of these guys. And just as huge of a mark for the WrestleMania highlight reels of each individual. (Man, I forgot how knee short hair Taker was though!).
Speaking of knee...Takes made pretty evident that he's been on "SmackDown!" for a while. In what was, I'm guessing, his first real promo (read: live promo) on "Raw" in a long time, homeboy made it stumbalaz. I was pretty surprised that such a seasoned pro was so trippin' over his words. I actually prefer subdued, one sentence Undertaker who doesn't need to do much talking because he could kill you with lightning bolts if he so chose.
Wow! So they are gonna do something with JBL after all! I'm not really a big fan of this coming basically out of nowhere, but I'm down with having him as the new Intercontinental Champion. First off, this allows CM Punk to go into the Money In The Bank match at 'Mania without the title. This is a scenario that makes more sense considering he's vying for the chance to win a bigger belt.
Secondly, this may...just MAY allow for the IC belt to actually be defended at WrestleMania for the first time in seven years. I hope the storyline surrounding this title defense is built well enough. If nothing else, JBL is one of the E's best characters for putting over the significance of a strap.
Well, damn. I know I'm not the only one who would like to have "Samantha Orton" sing the chorus in the remix of "Guzzlah" (a 2-in-1 shameless plug and amusing analogy, thank you). Now, I looked the bitch up to be sure. Seems to me like Randy's real wife is not hot enough for TV. How'd they break the news to him on that one?
Don't know where they got this girl. She cute...but retarded. Did her expression change once? Did she even have an expression??
Speaking of expressions...there is only one to describe the WWE Divas: titties. Is it just me or did Kelly Kelly get implantalaz? Anyways, until the wrestling between the Divas become mildly entertaining or realistic, there's not much else to say about it. Eager for Gail Kim's return though. Perhaps, she'll become "Miss WrestleMania" in the clusterfuck-to-be that is the Divas Battle Royal.
By the way, is anyone else annoyed that they keep referring to WrestleMania 25 as the "25th Anniversary" of WrestleMania? Is your wedding day your first anniversary? Well, then why the fuck would the 25th WrestleMania be the 25th anniversary? That's next year. I should really stop giving a shit about things like this.
Either way, I - like Edge - was a kid in attendance at SkyDome for WrestleMania VI. The video packages recalling the history of the event always help to put it over for me. I hope, somehow, the 25th "anniversary" lives up to its billing.
Did anyone else predict that John Cena was gonna say that he "loved" Vickie Guerrero? Somehow, I knew that was gonna come out his mouth. Does this angle require a love triangle though? While it's Big Show, not Cena, who's running Vickie behind Edge's back (man, she's become quite the slutalaz), this storyline doesn't seem necessary. Entertaining to some degree, but I'm not a big believer in world title matches needing more than the world title to get over.So is it Ric Flair VS. Chris Jericho at WrestleMania 25? If so, last year's match with HBK will mean so much less. Nothing against Naitch, but if it's your time to go, it's your time to go. This match - if it happens - will not live up to Ric's 'Mania match from last year and will ironically prove Jericho's point.
In better news, the Money In The Bank match has never been so brutha-filled!! With only two white boys in a match involving six men, if a nigga don't pull this one out, me and Tha Black Prophet are gonna go off! Now, while we're on the subject of brothers...even I gotta say a big "what the fuck?" to Koko B. Ware's induction to the WWE Hall of Fame. Shit, are muhfuggaz just turning Vince down and he's running out of cats to honour?
So Christian returns to "Raw" and the crowd...barely notices. What gives? Man, I would have loved to see him in the Money In The Bank match alongside dudes like Morrison. I'm not sure what to make of the lack of love.
As I write this, I know for a fact that Triple H is at Randy Orton's crib. He hasn't come in yet. But I knew it from the first reminds-me-of-Brian-Pillman-and-Stone-Cold moment they showed his "house".
Yep, there he is...busting down the door Jack Nicholson in The Shining style. Predictalaz.
Who the fuck are all these random people in Orton's house? Was he having a hide and seek party or something? God, his "wife" is a dumb, expressionless bitch. Worst actor ever!
And were they shooting an episode of "Cops" or something? How the fuck they get cameras in the cruiser? Why am I still watching this? I'm going to bed.
And here I was giving WWE credit.
Tha Results:
*Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. WWE Champion Triple H in a Handicap Match via forfeit
*Rey Mysterio, Finlay & Christian def. Kane & World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison
*Kofi Kingston def. Chris Jericho in a Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
*Divas Champion Maryse def. Women’s Champion Melina (non-title match)
*JBL def. CM Punk to become the new Intercontinental Champion
12 comments: on "Tha Raw Reportalaz"
What the Fuck is with Vince,
Koko in the hall of fame inducted by Honky
shouldn't it be the other way around ???
Nobody, anyone (not even the black prophet)can make a case for KOKO to be in the HOF,before at least 100 wrestlers or even if he should be in at all,this makes a complete mockery of the HOF
Dan-e-o:
But you see, I don't see you picking one of the brothas to go over....maybe because of the selections.....any of them you see to be a World Champion by year's end? And don't you dare say Mark Henry!!
Now the JBL had to be rushed because I think Kozlov will bethe challenger for the title. Would love to see Kozlov beat Shelton for the US Title, just to see both belts defended.
Since the tag team champs for both belts are not doing anything, they probably will do something for those also.
Triple H segment: Could have been worse, could have killed Orton's wife and next week have sex with the body at the funeral home.
Bastards.
actually there are still 2 more spots open in the MITB. The past 2 years and this one they have been trying to use 8 people. Hopefully it ends up workin out. good review and i liked the ending because sure it was predictable but it made you remember all the good feuds that took place out of the arena.
That is Randy's real wife.
Getalaz alaz newalaz gimmickalaz oralaz getalaz realesedalaz likealaz Kizaranalaz. jkalaz
Apparently Steph and Vince are irate with storylines leaking to the online community. What if there is no leak and their storylines are just too predictable? Before I ever new about online dirt sheets I could always make a stab at where things were going.
They should have all writers sign a contract and take an oath like certain workers at KFC. I think the punishment for revealing those 11 herbs and spices is a public beheading.
How's Triple H gona make it to Mania if hes in jail. I wonder what's gona happen to the main event now
Downtown-
I worked at KFC as a chicken cook over the past summer, and I can assure you, we were never threatened with beheadings, nor did we have to sign a vow of silence.
EAT it up while you can.....WWE will suck after Wrestlemania 25 and we will be eating up TNA iMPACT! like Pastachee-O's
Keeping the three brands alive is just serving the purposes of doing House Shows, not TV anymore. Simple as that. Check the House Show line up on each tour and you'll see for yerself.
Fighting the wOrld!!!
- The Wrestling Observer reports that the "Samantha Orton" on last night's Raw was not actually Orton's real life wife but a model who goes by the name Laura Croft, who was Playboy's Playmate of the Month in July.
.....so I'd like to Quote EDGE to Anonymous # 5654 "YOUR WRONG!!!"
SCREW RAW.....SCREW MICKEY ROURKE
Danny Bonaduce is COMING TO TNA!!!
TNA TNA TNA TNA!!!
I am not not going to say a thing about all these anonymous whores that come do there run-ins like they are the fucking Four Horsemen.....
Mr Reply: how funking dare you bring up playboy and don't provide the fucking proof:
http://adultsite69.com/2008/07/09/playboy-laura-croft-miss-july-2008-centerfold-30-pictures/
mmmmmm....who gives a shit if she couldn't act her way out of a DP porn scene....she is tasty.
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