Tha O Show is happy to announce the addition of Robbie Nekoda to our writing staff. Enjoy his latest piece...There are many things wrong with wrestling today. Issues with suspending your disbelief, way too many injuries, stupid skits (Hi TNA) and clusterfuck angles. And there's one way to solve them all: Resurrect the art of selling.
Selling, as it stands currently, is nigh-on dead in the current world of wrestling as it is seen in a global light. It seems that most promotions and workers these days are more concerned with sensationalism. And hey, good for them. It's not like anyone else got hired by the fed for their ONE cool move off the ladder and then got fired a week later.
Oh, right.
Selling is a lost art, as big in itself as all other "move" training combined. It's the building blocks of wrestling and the selling dictates the believability of the match. And hell, I'm no Steamboat, this is just common sense.
If somebody hits you, it fucking HURTS. So act like it. More often than not, when someone DOES sell it's for the wrong reasons which only affects the believability even more; how many times have we seen a guy get slapped mildly across the face by a woman backstage, only to continue selling it hugely when walking to the ring half an hour later, checking his face as though for blood? And yet he'll get run headfirst into the ringpost and be up on his feet in a few seconds - if he goes down at all.
Here's a bit of embarrassing info about myself: I was a blind, "SHUT UP IT'S NOT FAKE" mark until I turned thirteen. A bit late I know, but despite what I kept telling myself, despite the fact that I was literally jumping up and down willing HHH to get the IC strap at SummerSlam 98, there were always inconsistencies when people sold. Mainly, why does everyone fall flat on their back no matter what move they're hit with?
The stunner is a "drop to the ass and a shoulder to the throat" according to Michael Hayes, and yet I don't remember anyone giving the slightest bit of coughing or spluttering. You can keep still and get pinned while coughing, guy. Did anyone ever cradle the back of their head after a rock bottom during a match? The selling made that move look harmless, and I specifically remember wondering why that beat you when a DDT didn't.
Which moves me nicely onto part two: Injuries are way too frequent due to the high-risk style, as well as believability still. The X Division looks good, and sure, it has its place. But face it, the DDT is a devastating move and by far my favorite finisher. It drops you on the crown of your fucking head! Simple, and really effective - believe me, I know from experience.
And yet now it's, at most, used to level the playing field and has no lasting effects beyond around 45 seconds. All the while people are flying off ladders and trucks and cells and being hit with finisher after finisher before being put away with a roll-up because nothing short of being stabbed can beat them. Fuck off!
People say that wrestling is too far gone, and we could never go back to the days of DDTs and Perfect-Plexes. I respectfully disagree. If the Fed planned it well and in advance (I know, I know), they could have it turned around in a year. Slowly phase out the rapid-fire style and phase in other moves - less chair shots, a win here by, yes, DDT and by top rope elbow drop. And the most important thing... teach the workers to SELL IT ALL.
I've got three recent examples here, specific moments of selling ineptitude from Cena, Sheik Abdul Bashir and Sheamus O'Shaunessy.
First, I know criticizing Cena's selling technique is like criticizing Marty Wright's dentist, but I never realized /quite/ how bad Cena's selling is, especially amongst outcries that he's "really improved lately". On a recent "Raw" there was a spot where he's repeatedly kicked and stomped in the head by Edge. Cena barely flinches, and hardly moves his head at all during around like five or so stomps. Bring your fucking hands up to your head! Even if it isn't supposed to hurt that much, at least show aversion rather than just waiting for the next spot.
Not to mention he's showing no ill effects from Show's knockout punch less then like 20 seconds after he's hit.
Bashir: Shame on you, Shaun. On a recent "iMPACT!", he was strung up by Joe and threatened with the butter knife of doom. First off, I commend him at getting his fear across - that works out well. But when Joe abandons the knife and proceeds to whack him with a cane (sigh), his selling is SHITE.
A few cries, and before Joe's even out of the room, Daivari's yelling "go to hell" style stuff after him. Fuck sake, you've just been strung up like a PINATA, PINATA, PINATA and belted repeatedly with a STICK, STICK, STICK as Ed Ferrara would put it. Act like it! You're making the Nation of Violence look like the Nation of Being Mildly Inconvenienced.
Finally, good old SOS who currently recides in FCW. I don't know what their current plans for him are, but anyone watching it will remember that some months ago, he was cutting anti-Finlay promos, was FCW champ and all set to be called up to "SmackDown!" to take on Fit. But all that was quietly dropped and he put Eric Escobar over for the strap. There are a few reasons as to why this happened. Here's mine:
HE'S SHIT.
Seriously, he's worse than Cena. WORSE THAN JOHNNY JR. During a recent match with (I think) Johnny Curtis, he does NO SELLING. AT ALL. Sorry, he takes a second to touch his forehead. THAT'S IT. No limb selling, no gut selling, ankle selling, nothing. This pasty fuck couldn't sell chips to the Scottish. And that's after a year in development. Imagine how he was back when I saw him live in IWW in 2005 and you know the pain I live with daily.
So to summarize, the savior of wrestling is SELLING. It will restore credibility, believability and lessen injuries. And it's a shame it so badly needs to be taught, because selling is just common sense - if you're kicked in the shin, you act like your shin hurts! I mean, Christ, it's not difficult.
Part of it is probably workers' reluctance to appear weak, which I really don't get as when I was training, selling was by far my favorite part of it all. It has a psychology all its own and just holding your ribs for two minutes can build a crowd up for that colossal pop at the end.
As a final note as to the loss of selling to sensationalist movesets, the only school around here where I live teaches people of all ages the following in their first two hour training session, with the elbow tie-up taught in lesson 2:
-Warm up
-Hammerlock
-Running crucifix to sunset flip
Go figure.
3 comments: on "Tha Lost Art Of Selling"
First off, welcome aboard. Second, good article. Third, watching people no sell has been something that has bothered me for quite some time now. Ever stub your toe? Sure you have. It hurts for a while. Now when I see a wrestler laying on the ground and someone stomps his hands he sells it for a second. He shouldn’t be punching anyone after that. With Big Show’s knockout punch I would focus on hurting his arms and hands, not his stomach like everyone does.
I wrote an article about no selling a while back and its sad that its actually gotten worse since then. The whole not wanting to look weak thing is just silly. Not everyone is indestructible. Knowing that either guy can lose makes the matches more fun. I get into them more. Take HHH getting nailed in the skull with a sledge hammer. He should be done for the night. Bring out a stretcher. No chair shots that don’t take you out unless you’re Samoan. Let’s just get rid of all that hardcore shit altogether. Jeff Hardy has gotten slightly better with his selling but for as long as he’s been wrestling he should be an expert.
My favorite thing is when someone says that Steamboat is one of their favorites but then turn around and do the opposite of him. Dude sold the shit out of moves, showed up the next week feeling the effects of something that happened and made his opponent look great. Everyone wants to be on top and be the badass. Allow me to quote Syndrome from The Incredibles.
“When everyone is super, no one is.”
Thanks guys! I actually thought the article was a bit run-on, but hey, it's my first!
And let's just say that the day I wrote this article, I later tripped and went point-of-the-nose first into a steel bar. I sold THAT, I'm telling ya.
Selling is a lost art. Especially the old school NWA-style of selling where the commentator would often say such-and-such a wrestler is on "dream street". Great examples of this? Youtube matches of "Hollywood" John Tatum, or Arn Anderson. At times they can even over-sell punches/punch combination as they flop to the mat, sometimes rolling halfway back to their feet just to fall down again. Or even more classic, swinging fists wild at the air, connecting with nothing, nosedive into the mat face first only to flip completely over.
Or think about any of those classic Ric Flair NWA matches. The opponent SELLING the figure four as if it was the most dangerous crippling hold in wrestling. Guys like Steamboat FIGHTING to get to the ropes, as opposed to the casual saunter to the ropes made nowadays (or worse yet modern-day-wwe-ers being in a submission hold while DIRECTLY UNDER THE EFFING ROPES!). I feel like Tyson Dux teaching The Classroom: "Know where you are in the ring gentlemen, know your proximity to the ropes!"
No-selling ONLY works if you happen to be the late 90s Taz (with one damn Z) who needs the no-selling to compensate for his lack-of-height, and to put him over as a legit badass "Human Suplex Machine".
The ONLY other time no-selling works is a phenomena rarely seen in North America. If your name happens to be Toshiaki Kawaka, Mitsuharu Misawa, Kenta Kobashi, (hell even gaijins like Vader, Dr. Death Steve Williams, and Gary Albright). If you take Strong Style to the NEXT-LEVEL and have a BREIF series of no-sell stiff spot after stiff spot until someone finally collapses. The Japanese understand the importance of selling, and conversely the best-of-the-best Japanese wrestlers know the even finer art of NO SELLING. Just look at Muta when he "channels the demons from beyond", appearing to be bounce up as if possessed by a demon right after taking a devastating move.
Selling SHOULD BE the norm, when you no-sell, know the reason WHY you are no-selling, and WHY it is the exception to this rule.
If you need further study in this area, youtube early to mid 1980s World Class Championship Wrestling matches. Yes wrestlers had finishing moves at that time, but every once in a while a move as seemingly innocent as a clothesline, or a botched high spot could end a match. Selling ladies and gentlemen, from the beginning of the match, until it's conclusion.
This has been the classroom with your teacher The Great Sudoku. Class dismissed.
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