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1.27.2009

Tha "Raw" Report

Randy Orton is finally positioned to take top billing. The World Champion is now basically an afterthought, thank God. I can't understand why "Raw" would have Cena as their World Champion with guys like Orton, JBL, Michaels, Santino Marella and even Michael Cole with some wrestling experience, on the roster, but that's an argument for another time.

Can anyone else name a main event superstar who could legitimately claim a mental disorder and get over more? Hell, I didn't know he had IED, I thought those were only in warzones.

If you want to know just how money Randy Orton is, ask yourself this, what other worker other than Shawn Michaels over the last decade or so who got a reaction (heel or face) so consistent? If they aren't booing him out of a building they've started chanting for the RKO. Though he is now responsible for bringing Shane-O back and that's worth a Flair level pop.

Not to mention the stable that Orton is building could be the best stable as far as workers go since Head Cheese. I still can't figure out if they're going to let DiBiase go all in or if he's always going to appear hesitant to follow the orders and be part of the group.

By the way, the production crew stepped it up this week. The montage to open the show with the video of his past actions and his "I really do have a severe mental disability," theme was awesome. Randy Orton's theme is by far the best music to be matched up with a character since Jimmy Wang Yang.

I remember the complaints, and I was one of them, when his previous theme, "Burn in my light" was removed and replaced with this one, but looking back it really fit. His old theme was more babyface anyway, this one just screams "EM PLEH." Moving on then.

The Elimination Chamber is making it's somewhat long awaited return. I have no problem with this, and I don't really have a problem with two in one night, what I do however have a problem with is the fact that as with No Way Out last year there are competitors in the match that have as much shot of winning it as I do.

Do you believe Kofi Kingston or Rey Mysterio has a shot? Me either. Sure it's nice to see Kofi getting some shine in a co-main event, but is it really necessary? Is this one of those situations where the crowd thinks less of him because he didn't win, and they didn't think he belonged in the first place? I hope not for Kofi's sake, but this could have been too rushed.

Speaking of Elimination Chamber and entering the match, what's up with allowing someone else to try to get you in? Why would JBL have Shawn Michaels compete against the SuperHuman Stiffneck? It makes no sense and is one of those wrestling traditions I'll never understand. Sort of like Vince punishing DX (the second time around) by giving them everything they wanted.

On the topic of something O worthy, on Friday February 13, the remake of the original Friday the 13th hits theatres, and that my friends deserves an O. If you haven't seen it I won't ruin it for you, but in this one, the "killer" runs after the victims. Hypeness.

I'm also going to O for the fact that the Jericho/Randy "The Ram" confrontation is coming at WrestleMania. That could be a 5 star match, well at least be incredibly entertaining. I really need to see "The Wrestler," and anyone that has feel free to give it your own Ebert and Roeper below.

Just as a rapid fire conclusion, Santino is the man, John Cena sucks. Was that mark enough for anyone? On a serious note, would anyone else like to see Santino end up with Melina for a storyline purpose I've yet to think of? Actually it'd be entertaining to watch Beth slaughter him.

RESULTS:
*Chris Jericho def. Intercontinental Champion CM Punk in an Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
*Beth Phoenix & Jillian def. Women’s Champion Melina & Kelly Kelly
*World Heavyweight Champion John Cena def. Shawn Michaels
*Kofi Kingston def. Kane in an Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match
*World Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison def. Cryme Tyme


14 comments: on "Tha "Raw" Report"

claytron2020 said...

jogging jason is going to kill the flick.

Why do all the directors of remakes think that making someone run will "up the ante"? Running zombies... now running Jason???

They should have Robo Cop vs Randy the Ram at wrestlemania in a wcw vs wwe match.

Matt said...

I guarentee the IED thing is going to turn into a shitty explosive diahrea joke by Cena in one of his 5 star promos somewhere down the line.

Hated Orton's music at first, but now its one of my favorites. Funny how that works.

I know Kofi doesn't have a shot, but did you really want to see Kane in the chamber. I didnt, and was pleasntly surprised when Kofi went over.

The logic behind the booking of another Michaels/Cena match was terrible, and I think this angle's starting to get stupid. Hopefully it picks back up next week.

Finally saw the Wrestler, and it lived up to all the high expectations I had going in. Arnofsky is a hell of a director. Watch "Requim for a dream" and you'll agree.

Dante Ross said...

During the Y2J/Punk match they seemed tired. Jericho really needs to hit the gym or something. He had no definition going on. The match was just below okay.

You forgot to mention Regal/Rey and I dont blame you. Look at Regal's face when he's coming down the ramp. He just doesn't look like he's into it. Rey won with a sloppy bodysplash they had the nerve to call a Frogsplash. For shame.

I missed Kofi's match with he who shall not be named.

The HBK/Cena match was actually good. Would have been more dramatic for HBK to tap out though. I am dying to see him nail JBL again with a superkick.

MnM2 beat Cryme Tyme so fast! Why cant these guys have longer matches? I'm not saying I wanna see one, but its weird that they end so fast.

I have no problem with a running Jason. I just wanna know if he's a zombie, demon, ghost, or super retard. I'm INVINCIBLE!!!

Anonymous said...

Really weak show in my opinion, way to make the legacy (Orton especially) look pathetic and weak by having Shane O'Mac deck the three of them single handedly after they were so successful in the rumble (hell HHH only eliminated 2 of them!, way to have the most tweener elimination chamber ever, Kofi!, Rey Rey!! give me a break, I guess they will do this to make the Smackdown Chamber match more significant and with more at stake but it smells of a match where they don't actually need the chamber gimmick, seriously with the seeming mass reduction/abolishment of blading is it even going to be realistic!

kathy said...

i have a question, if regal is so sick that he has too drop the strap and everything why was he still in the rumble (and lasted longer than Santinos' 1.5 sec) and why did he have a match on RAW?
And i always thought the elimination chamber match was for the physically bigger guys...but rey and kofi ?

Downtown said...

Not a bad raw in my opinion, Shane wailing on Legacy was kinda stupid, but I can let it slide.

As much as Vince beat the hell out of Shane and Steph, why are they so upset about their dad being punted?

Impressed with Jericho last night, big win to get in the elimination chamber. High profile match setup with an Oscar Nominee, thats riding a hot train at the moment. I'd say having Rourke "work" at WM will garner much more buys than Mayweather was expected to last year.

I've watched the wrestler, and I flat out loved it. Most reviews have been dead on the money, I just wish it had been longer and told more. Tomei for being near or over 40 was lookin fine by the way.

Maybe so... said...

Stephanie and Shane are gonna be part of the LEGACY!!!

Zyrone said...

I'm just waiting for the typical McMahon solution to a hot angle and that is an over abundance of said McMahon's.

birdie said...

i agree 100% with Anonymous & kathy
a weak Raw.

Shane slaughtering legacy, single handed, made them look pathetic & weak. In regards to THA O Show hero (Regal) great question Kathy.

WTF is going on in the WWE,
Kofi,Rey in the elimination chamber match, REALLY,REALLY (they will probably have Chavo,Hornswoggle,the brian kendrick & jimmy wang yang in as well)

Oh & one more thing,I didn't think it possible, but its true.

D.J.B you are a bigger moron than Casur
Bar for the first sentence, your first paragragh confirms just how big of a moron you really are.

Santino Nekoda said...

Let's not be too harsh Birdie, at least he's not fucking Carston from Toronto. ;)

I'm putting my chips down on a theory. Something I realised halfway through the Rumble: Vince himself is, what, second, third generation? And he INVENTED modern WWE. He'll end up with Legacy, mark my words! It'll be Higher Power II!

Anonymous said...

praise be to the gods of o! big daddy donnie and dan-e-o have finally come to their senses and tha o show has changed for the better. finally, someone who isn't interested in just getting themselves over is writing the raw report.

hey casur, nice run while it lasted, but you knew sooner or later the right people would get tired of your shit. i'd wish you best of luck iny our future endeavors, but really, you're not going to ever be involved in the business anyway, so fuck off. took to long, but it's nice to see you go. maybe now you and fronte can start your own show. nobody will listen to it, but hey, you'll be able to put yourself over all you want, you fanboy mark.

Anonymous said...

Just thought of an idea that they could work... It probably would need have needed more time, but you can still rush it to success.

They seriously could do a double turn at Mania with Cena and Orton. Why not?

Orton is obviously where Stone Cold was in '97 and Cena where Bret Hart was the same year.

Cena could be the leader of "Legacy". Although Johnny Fabulous or whatever Cena's father's work name is, was never a wrestler he is in the business so technically that makes Cena 2nd generation if they wanted to be consistent in that manner.

It would be one of the more important turns in the history of that company...

Why not?

TimTS said...

One of the more boring Raw's in recent memory. I'm actually happy someone like Kofi got into the chamber. Maybe they'll go for some awesome high flying spots in there this time. It's been missing that. My choice would be for the chamber to be a bloody mess, but that just doesn't seem like it's going to happen. They're missing the great "hardcore" guy(s) these days. Sad when Edge is the front runner for the label hardcore. (Even though I love Edge!)
Other than that Rey makes baby Jesus cry when he wrestles, I like Regal and Jericho but they just seemed to be going through the motions last night. I love Morrison, but if WWE doesn't find some more challengers for MNM, or just split them up and make them singles stars, his star power is going to burn out quickly. Punk was punk. Cena and HBK was way too predictable since HBK got the win last time.
On to my favorite. Orton and Legacy were the highlight of the show and they didn't even wrestle. Orton is one of the more entertaining wrestlers I have ever seen. He has a mixture of Stone Cold and Jake the snake, which is an awesome combo. Only problem I had was with Shane. Shane's awesome, always has been since he popped up on TV, but MAN, I'm suprised no one else mentioned how BAD his punches were last night. When he was up on ramp you could see the space between his punches and Orton's face. Not to mention that Shane kicking the crap out of three wrestlers the caliber of Legacy was a freaking joke. I was so let down when Orton didn't punt Shane as well to further along the angle. Instead I was left with a bad taste in my mouth as Raw went off the air. Hopefully the road to Wrestlemania picks up next week.

Evitman said...

Let's do the history of Shane and Orton in the last 6 months.

9-22-2008
Shane comes out to reinstate CM Punk who just slapped Orton. Shane tells Orton that Orton will respect his position of power. Later on in the night, Orton tells Shane it would be a shame if they got on each other's bad side.

11-03-2008
Orton demands for Adamle's termination from Shane. Though Adamle resigns, Orton still demands an apology. This prompts Shane to bring up Orton's medical clearance and put's Orton into a match that night.

1-19-2009
Randy kicks Vince face in.

1-26-2009
Shane's attack at the end of the show.

It would be nice if this was all planned out, but I highly doubt it. hopefully they would include all these parts into the opening segment of Raw maybe even a voice over of Randy with the "bad side talk" while the video of him kicking in Vince's face.

My only problem is Shane's punches looked weak and Legacy looked like bitches. They could have solved this by Shane running in with a Kendo stick, something he used a long time ago.

At least they didn't have Kane hold Orton's arms back while Shane was hit Orton.....that would have killed one of the best testicle electrocution segments I have ever seen.