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10.25.2008

Friday Night Fallout: Contradiction

I don't get it. I really, really don't. It just isn't for me. This whole Vladimir Kozlov thing, huh? What? Jump up on your soapbox and proclaim that it's great because it's old school heel stuff baby, and I'll politely kick the soapbox, help you up and say, yeah but this is 2008, and that whole old school vibe, if you couldn't tell with the new direction the entertainment business is going in doesn't work.

The E's wrestlers aren't wrestlers or superstars anymore. They are entertainers. Shoot me in the groin. So if you're going with that vibe, drop all the old stuff and remake it. Vladimir Kozlov is a beast ten years ago. Today he's a flop. Sure you may like it, it may be good and it may click with you, but guess what? In the grand scheme of things it doesn't work. It contradicts everything else on the screen.

Well, at least we know now that Triple H is the main event again. He starts the show. Tazz should wear a muzzle though. "He deserves a standing ovation." No he doesn't. He deserves to be elsewhere on the card without that belt, holding it down. The fact that he continues to hold it while the new young guys don't doesn't build him or the belt. It buries everyone else and the belt looks like it doesn't even belong there because nobody is worthy.

Drop it already. Drop the belt, drop the gimmick. Nothing about you is sophomoric anymore Triple H your nose outgrew high school antics when you were in the sixth grade. Your nose was far ahead of you, now your brain or the writing is so far behind you it's utterly pathetic. Stop it. Does anyone really by that? No.

Triple H is a huge babyface right? Why does Jeff Hardy get a bigger pop? Triple H is the draw with the belt right? Why does Jeff Hardy get a bigger pop? People want to see Triple H as the champ right? Why have people been clamoring for Jeff to win the strap since 2001? Why did twenty people cheer when he Pedigreed Hardy? Why did the crowd go nuts when Hardy gave him the Twist of Fate a few weeks back? The sheeple are sad. No cheers for that but they go wild for the music. Wow.

Go ahead and throw up his "issues." Who doesn't have them? How many times did Shawn Michaels show up high, drunk or whatever and still go over? Don't say the Wellness Policy. It's a sham. John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, none of those guys ever get hit, it's the ones creative doesn't like, but the fans love. It's scapegoats. The hierarchy is clear and that's the reason the product isn't what it should be. Quit arguing that point.

This is going to be a rapid fire edition of the other happenings on "SmackDown!" and then we'll go back to the main point. Carlito and Primo won, and Chavo and Bam don't get along anymore. Too many Diva's names start with an M. The heel M with the Nattie won the match. Tazz thinks Divers fight for the Divas championship. Pick one. Festus and Jesse like Mariachis. Maria and Festus had a moment and people think Maria is hot (why?) and two black dudes can't overcome a black dude and a japanese dude. These are things we learn from the E.

Why is Khali kissing ugly chicks? He has the opportunity to kiss the more attractive ones and choses the unattractive ones. He's living Dan's life, just backward. Dan has only the option of the ugly chicks, it's the hot ones that pass him by. I know Dan's dying to trade places just to get one attractive female. Maybe it's because he's really, really short.

I won't really cover the actual match between Taker and H because we knew it would be a schmoz that killed those that wanted to see this match. I will say that it was better than I think anyone anticipated until Big Show came down and cleaned house. I did like the fact that for once Triple H just didn't own. He hit Show and still got choke slammerized. Niceness. I don't see forking over $40 for Cyber Sunday, but a few people will. Hope you enjoy it, I know I sure won't be worried about it.

*Natalya & Maryse def. Michelle McCool & Maria
*Carlito & Primo def. Chavo Guerrero & Bam Neely
*R-Truth & Kung Fu Naki def. Shelton Benjamin & MVP
*The Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy
*Triple H vs. Undertaker no contest


9 comments: on "Friday Night Fallout: Contradiction"

Anonymous said...

just to rub salt into some ppls wounds, im from england n we get cyber sunday for freebies which means im not payin to watch jericho baptista YAWN or another taker show match YAWN again, back to smackdown, mannnn i hate when entertainers say the whole in 48rs thing aswell! fuck off with that shit! u filmed it on tuesday! gregory helms pop ups r the only thing keepin me going sometimes, one other point to bring up, very intresting debate on what i read in a lance storm column last month, basically, wrestlersare fucked more and more each day, writing is fucked more and more each day, n so on, wrestling is dying whether we like it or not, what about seasoned wrestling, ie imagine the last episode of the season being cm punk cashing in the briefcase on edge, n we had to wait all summer for it or whatever, for me that wud be hype, unless creative done there titled job! n wrestling got awesome again!

BigDaddy said...

What gets over in wrestling?

Different.

Is Kozlov different?

Yes.

Dan-e-o said...

DJ,

At least the bitches I blaze have teeth, nigga! Your country boy ass needs to start gettin' pussy OUTSIDE of the family!

srr said...

normally( by which i mean always) i like teh different views on the show reviews cause sometimes there are good points.

but this was the stupidest shit i have ever read from this site.Really

kthnxbye!

Dante Ross said...

Obviously SRR hasn't read my articles. But seriously, that was a really negative ass review. I liked The Brian Kendrick match. Yeah, the entire article would've been about how much he has grown and even though he was buried for years he is now fucking cool. Hell, Ezekial is even intersting.

Kosloz is cool. For me it isnt because of any old school new school bullshit. I didnt like him, now I do. Its that easy. They know his strentghs and weaknesses and they use him well.

Everyone bitching about HHH is like hearing folks say "Man, water is WET!" Who else can they give the belt to? Not Jeff. Not Koslov yet. Not MVP. Not Taker (anymore). Not Khali. Not Show. Not Shelton. So until then just sit back in the shade provided by Hunter's nose. If you really dont wanna do a article holla atcha boy.

D.J.B. said...

Heatseaking is great. Actually it's just awesome.

Phantasio was different. Dr. Issac Yankem was different. Damien Demento was different.

Dan's comeback was so original I still can't quit laughing.

People take these articles way too seriously.

Dante, be careful what you wish for.

Andrew Gray said...

I'm with you on a lot of these points, D.J.B. Kozlov isn't appealing to me either, although I can see he's improved, as Dante mentioned. Then again, when you're as green as Kozlov when you start on TV, you'd better show improvement. Anyways, the whole "he's a heel because he's foreign" gimmmick has been played out enough already. It was cool with Drago in Rocky IV, but not now; it's indicative of Vince's/WWE's lack of originality.

I can also understand DJ's hating on Triple H. I've had enough of him too - 12 straight years (give or take) on TV, most of time having a stranglehold on a main event position, means the audience is going to get burned out. Listen, I think Triple H is a great worker; he and Taker had a good match on SmackDown; and quite frankly, I'd rather see Taker vs. Triple any day over most combinations of wrestlers (entertainers) in the fed right now, but I don't think that's what the casual fan wants to see. The old guys certainly aren't going to attract any younger, newer viewers.

As far as Dante's point that no one else is ready on SmackDown - you may be right. But perhaps some of that has to do with Triple H. It's purely speculative, of course, but we all thought MVP was on the cusp of a World Heavyweight title a year ago - but ever since Trips has been on SmackDown, MVP's been jobbing like crazy. It's probably a coincidence, but even if it is, the fact is that MVP is exactly the kind of superstar who deserves a bigger spot on TV, but as long as Triple H is around, its probably not going to happen. After all, CM Punk didn't get a push until Triple H was on the other brand. Hopefully, I'm wrong about that.

In sum, I can see why DJB was negative (aside from wanting to provoke a reaction). It's because SmackDown sucks. They really need Edge back.

Anyways . . . back to writing about American foreign policy.

And Casur - you need to post a comment so that every writer has posted one for this article. Don't let me down.

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Christopher Casúr said...

I'm not sure who enjoys sucking more, the Cincinnati Bengals or Andrew Gray.

There. Fresh off an all-expenses paid, O Show promotional trip to Baltimore, MD, there is the last show writer leaving a comment on this article.

I usually don't do this, but I gotta disagree with my bredren, DJB, who usually is pretty good with wise advice. In an era where WWE half-asses everything and makes it clear as day that they're pandering, Kozlov is a breath of fresh air. He's a heel who isn't afraid to be a heel, and his repertoire looks legit, which is a rare combo in WWE these days.

Kozlov is big, he's strong, and he thinks he runs "SmackDown!". You don't get any more old school heel than that, and I think it's great. I'd love to see Kozlov get a title run at some point.

The other point about Kozlov that I have made several times in the past is that WWE made absolutely sure this guy was ready. When he was coming out saying that he loved Double Double E and that he believed they put a man on the moon, they realized that he wasn't ready, and instead of trying to fix everything on the fly (see: Great Khali), they sent him back down and waited until he was ready. In my opinion, WWE is doing everything right with this guy, and it's going to pay off one day.

As far as how negative the review was...well, it's WWE. It's hard to stay positive when you have to review the same shows week after week.