Tha Raw Report

Fuck. I can't believe I missed watching Brett Favre get exposed on Monday Night Football to watch "Raw". No. Stop. Don't go and post a hate comment, I can back up my statement. That aside, Monday Night Football presented a lot of entertainment value that "Raw" was sorely lacking. Let me qualify that. It's not that "Raw" was bad this week. Quite frankly, it was much better than last week's show.

As time goes on, it seems more and more that the problem is not that "Raw" is awful, so much as it is that it's not as exciting as it used to be. Even when the product is good, there's nothing that jumps out and makes you want to watch. It's gotten to the point where the only people who watch are those who either watch out of sheer habit, or are responsible for covering the show. I'm sure that one day I'll look back on this and feel like I regularly wasted two hours of my life.

Chris Jericho has done a decent job as the champion. Hear me? A DECENT job. Not a great job, just a decent job. I don't want a guy who just does a decent job as the top guy. I want a guy who is legitimately hated to be the top heel. Orton could do it once he returns from injury, but until then, JBL should be that guy. Don't believe me? Go back and watch the opening segment of "Raw". Listen to the reaction of the crowd when Jericho was announced, and then when JBL was announced. Jibbles got far more heat.

Shane McMahon is exciting. I popped last night when I heard "Here Comes The Money" start to play. Shane is exciting, and is great on the stick. Sometimes timing can make the difference in an announcement, and this is something that Shane understands and can employ in his promos. Unfortunately, as exciting as he is, we probably won't see him again on TV for quite some time again. Instead, we get that Cutler-loving Mike Adamle.

CM Punk apparently has come up with a solution for his GTS dilemma. His solution? Use the Anklelock. Personally, I think this may be the best possible solution. WWE has visibly eased off of submissions in the past few years, reportedly because they wanted to get John Cena's STFU over as a legitimate submission (*snicker*). However, the Anklelock is a lower body submission, not a head submission, so this way, WWE can still try to convince people that John Cena's submission is still in a league of its own, and Punk doesn't look knee when trying to win a match.

Why so serious? Because "Raw" doesn't need to be all about laughy laughy. Fuck you Heath Ledger (note: please direct all hate mail to bigdaddy@thaoshow.com). However, "Raw" does need Santino Marella, he and Charlie Haas can provide all the comedy that "Raw" needs. Santino's tirade against "Kelly Kelly...Kelly" and "Baptista" was pure gold again. It's amazing how he is always able to come up with such great one-liners week in and week out. Dane Cook fans, take notes...that's how you be funny.

By the way, speaking of Dane Cook haters, if you haven't yet, go check out Anthony Kingdom James and The Handsome Genius Club.

Evan Bourne, for a small guy, does a great job of looking like a legitimate fighter. I still say this is the one time where I would've forgiven WWE for just dropping a storyline. I mean, it's not like they didn't already drop several ideas mid story with Kane in the past few months. Nonetheless, I see a bright future for Evan Bourne, hopefully he'll be in the ECW main event picture before too long.

Kelly Kelly has improved by leaps and bounds since moving to "Raw". I know I seem to say that quite often when writing these articles, but it is the truth. I think Kelly is at the point where she just needs a little bit of fine tuning, and she could be start a slow climb to being built as a legitimate worker. She certainly has the athleticism for it, and if she can put out a good match routinely, then I don't care if she didn't work her way up through the indies like a Beth Phoenix or a Nattie Neidhart. Just don't put the title on Kelly just yet. She's slowly and surely getting to that level, but she's not there yet.

Donnie said it on last week's show, but what the hell, I'll shamelessly steal his shit, because even if he wanted to kick my ass over it, I don't think he'd waste a full tank of gas on it. The time is right for John Morrison to turn face. There's a natural feud waiting should he and The Miz split, and he's so funny that he would be over in a way that WWE wishes John Cena was. Hell, Morrison's rap video last night was light years better than the video for "Bad, Bad Man". The match with Cryme Tyme was solid, but I'm not sure where that feud can go, or if it was just a one-off. Okay, so they both have online shows...is that the basis for this feud? I don't see it going anywhere if that's the case.

Charlie Haas is the other guy who provides great comedy on Monday nights. His lackluster impression of Mr. Perfect was hilarious, and hell, I'd even chalk it up as a nice tribute. Even though the line may have been said comically and as a means of trying to shill his DVD, there is only one Mr. Perfect. I gotta try that shit the next time I'm at Dave & Buster's. Humiliating video forthcoming, O-ster nation! Consider it my karma for mocking Brett Favre and Heath Ledger all in one article, I suppose.

Speaking to my point earlier, Chris Jericho is doing a decent job as a heel champion, but right now, WWE can't settle for a guy who does okay. They need a champion who can jump right off the page with arrogance and pure heeldom, which I mentioned earlier. Jericho is not at that level of heel, at least not when it comes to him holding the belt. I think that given his feud with Michaels, the belt didn't need to be thrown in, and in fact takes away from both the angle and the title. In my mind, "I want your shiny gold belt" doesn't carry as much drawing power as "You hit my wife and smiled about it, I wanna kill you", and that's the way this storyline is seemingly headed.

By the way, I don't think anybody believes that Michaels is going to win at No Mercy, which means that Jericho will still have the belt as a heel champion. WWE logic dictates that, consequently, a face will challenge for the title, meaning that Batista will win his match against JBL and get a title shot. He's getting a title shot. Why is he upset with his spot? Just something to ponder as a closing thought.

Tha Results:
*CM Punk def. World Tag Team Champion Cody Rhodes
*Santino Marella def. Deuce
*Kane def. Evan Bourne
*Kelly Kelly def. Beth Phoenix
*The Miz & John Morrizon def. Cryme Tyme
*Chris Jericho, JBL & Lance Cade def. Shawn Michaels & Batista

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