Uh oh. Aw snap. Oh shit. No you didn't. Choose whichever phrase you'd like, but either way, most fans watching "iMPACT!" last night were left saying those at some point or another during the show. TNA was doing some good work, but it seemed like they stumbled a lot last night.To say that TNA put out a solid show last night is to say that Canadian beer dominates the market. Seriously...you guys have Molson, a beer with a taste that I hypothesize is what moose urine would taste like, and that's it. Keith's, while delicious, is rather obscure outside of The Great White North, and Labatt has more ties to Buffalo than Toronto. You have one beer that anybody's heard of. Blow me.
It goes without saying, even though the rest of the show is a mixed bag when it comes to how solid the product will be, the Knockouts Division is always solid and entertaining. Gail Kim and her hot "sister" may have left, but this division has not missed a beat
Awesome Kong is still the big dog in the division, even though she lost the belt in wack fashion. Obviously, they can't just feed her indy jobbers every week (lest she come down with Vladimir Kozlov syndrome), and they seemed to call attention to that by seemingly setting up for a feud between Kong and ODB. An extended feud between these two is going to be a huge boon for both TNA and the Knockouts, because these two girls can go, and I think this is a case that if they have an extended feud with Kong coming out on top, it still won't bury ODB.
Poor Jay Lethal. His gimmick used to be the best thing going for TNA. Now it seems like they're lost on what to do with him. I suppose we should have all seen this coming, since if you're imitating another character and his career, you have a limited amount of material to work with, but either way, I've lost whatever interest I had in his feud with Sonjay Dutt.
Consequences Creed, on the other hand, despite those wack sunglasses that he was rocking, is a bright spot for the show. He's a young guy who's very athletic and is a guy who I think could have a lot to offer TNA in the future.
I like Curry Man, but why are they having him and Shark Boy going around acting like superheroes? I don't think it makes sense, and if it's being used as a way to keep them on TV, it's not working since they're not on TV that much anyway. I'm still not down with The Rock and Rave Infection, either. It's supposed to be funny, but it's really not. Lance Hoyt needs to go back to being the big dude who wore a shirt that said "White Boy" while coming to the ring. That shirt was over.
So now Abyss is tired of being destructive, tires of being a monster, and tired of being Abyss. However, he's found a new passion for writing poetry. Kill the character a little more, why don't you? You don't have to openly announce that he's going to be less violent in the ring, just do it and most people won't care because Abyss is a good worker. I know I haven't mentioned this in recent weeks, but it beared mentioning this week because hie gimmick on Karen's Angle was just SO bad.
Kurt Angle is now in the Fatal Four Way match at No Surrender. No big shock there, it's no big secret that TNA thinks that Kurt Angle is going to be a vital part of their success should they begin to grow in the coming years. Joe and Nash has more words. It's been a very nice, slow burn with the heat going on between Joe and Nash, which will obviously translate over to the TNA vs. Outsiders angle. Like Dan said, sometimes the most obvious shit is also the best shit.
The Beautiful People are another reason why TNA's Knockouts Division is so good. They're such great heels, it's remarkable. They may not be the best workers, but they can work their gimmick and they can pull you into a feud or a match, and you can't ask any more from a worker. I think the Kute Kip gimmick screams of them not having something to do with Kip, though. That or it's bad karma for wearing those gay shorts on purpose.
So last night, Sting explained his actions. Which was fine, except for one small problem. Sting is supposed to be a heel in this angle, but he got cheered. This angle is getting sketchy already, which is a very bad sign because it's only in the early stages. Next week, AJ Styles and Christian Cage will face off for the final spot in the Fatal Four Way at No Surrender, and obviously, without having read any spoilers, I can safely say that AJ Styles will more than likely win this match.
Nothing against Cage, but for the past two months, they've used Booker T, Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, and AJ Styles as the building blocks for "Millionaire's Club vs. New Blood Pt. 2", so it stands to reason that with three of those four already slated for the main event, that the fourth would follow. Only time will tell, I suppose, but hopefully TNA can quickly overcome the hurdles that they stumbled over last night.
7 comments: on "Tha "iMPACT!" Dispatch"
I didn't buy Sting as a heel either. I had a hard time taking him seriously as I was looking at a man in his late 30s or early 40s in full make-up trying to be serious.
I also didn't buy when he started going on about the 'young guys' not respecting the older guys when most of the older guys on that roster have been in TNA for no more than 2-3 years. He was taking about the same old guys that (supposedly) aren't big fans of doing the jobs when required.
If there was a tme for Sting to be heel, it should have been in the late 90s at 'Bash At The Beach'.
So according to Tenay and West, Gail Kim's "sister" is only 14 years old. Yea, ain't no way she is 14. I believe Gail Kim is 32, yea, I just hope that the "sister" can still find a spot on the show still. Change her age and make her work for Tracy Brooks. Anyway good report man.
Cristopher,
Moosehead, Steam Whistle, Sleeman and Rickards are all fantastic beers brewed in Canada. You are 19 dude, how much do you know about beer? I visit the United States frequently and I can tell you first hand the Bud Light is the most watered-down beer I have ever consumed.
Spare your little column such ignorant comments. Just because you have a forum to state your opinions, doesn't mean you have to embarrass yourself...
It's funny to think that you think Canadians only drink Molson, typical of a resident from the armpit of America (not my words).
So you claim that I'm ignorant by saying that I think all Canadians drink Molson, and then the ONLY American beer you mention is Bud Light. That's funny.
I hate Bud Light with a passion, by the way. It is shit. I hate Budweiser products across the board, for that matter, even when they were an American owned company. For that matter, I hate most major North American beers. Coors, Sam Adams, Bud, Molson, Labatt...JW Dundee is the glaring exception to the rule. Try some of their stuff sometime, then tell me all American beers are shit. I still won't believe you, but your argument will have more legs then.
Of the beers you mentioned, I have tried two of them, and yes, they were very good (I even said that Keith's was good). Microbrewed beers, almost entirely across the board, are good, regardless of where they come from. American Microbrews are great, as are Canadian, and European, and so on.
I know that all Canadians don't drink Molson, and I know that because of where I live, Ontario practically being in my backyard (which means I also know that Canada doesn't really look like they portray it in The Red Green Show). Moreover, I didn't say you only drank Molson. What I said was, if you go outside of Canada, there's only two Canadian beer brands that you're likely to find in any store. Labatt and Molson, and if you buy Labatt in the states, there's a good chance it came from Buffalo. If you want to believe that all Americans are ignorant, go find a European and ask him what Canadian beer brands he's heard of.
Your retort was far more ignorant than the original statement. If you're going to accuse me of something, please don't turn around and then do the same thing, it really kills the argument.
Besides, it was a fucking rib statement anyway. Don't take it personally.
If they're trying to get Sting over as a heel then they need for him to do some hardcore heel-type shit! He's gotta take the most over Baby Face in the company and just beat the living fuck out of him and leave him a bloody mess. Dropping A.J Styles on his head ain't gonna cut it. He's gotta go Jericho on somebody's ass and leave them in a bloody heap before that group of sheep start giving him any real Heel-type Heat.As cheesy as the angle was on Nitro,it could work on TNA. Donnie was right,sometimes the best shit writes itself.
To me it just seems that they're trying to "tread lightly" so to say with the Sting angle. As though they are trying to turn him heel without going full blown heel. My most likely guess is that they're just not that confident about a Sting heel turn, and are trying to go almost "half-heel", so that they can easily have him go face if it blows up in their face.
I was just if you guys are becoming a little more biased against TNA now that all of your boys have headed over there.
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