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3.08.2008

Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown

A positive attitude seemingly is contagious. Following the method used by Big Daddy Donnie while he critiqued this past week in wrestling, I tried to keep positive and look at the bright side of things. This was aided by the fact that I watched "SmackDown!" last night.

Now, don't get me wrong. "SmackDown!" was by no means perfect. However, it was vastly better than this past week's "Raw", which, given how little the writers are trying lately, should still be viewed as at least something.

Let me get the bad stuff out of the way first. And I can't believe that I'm going to say this, but most of the bad stuff centered around Edge, reaffirming my belief that "SmackDown!" works better with a face GM. The Cutting Edge featured Ric Flair, and I'm fine with that. But what's the purpose of having Flair face Edge and his personal bitches in a handicap steel cage match next week? I would say that this match screams of a throwaway to keep both men busy until WrestleMania, but too much thought went into this to make a match with two stipulations attached to it.

Actually, the Edgeheads overall don't do anything for me. I realize that stables are a great way to get a heel more heat, but I don't like seeing heel stables that are nothing but the World Champion having a bunch of curtain jerkers and midcarders suckling at his gold-bearing teats, and that seems to be the standard formula for WWE ever since Evolution parted ways.

Okay, now that I've gotten that out of my system...Jesse and Festus are the truth. They're a legitimate tag team challenging for the belts, a concept that WWE creative seemed to lose touch with as of late. I'm hopeful that WWE will put the belts on them, then have them feud with Deuce and Domino (the other established tag team on SmackDown!).

Speaking of Deuce and Domino...no disrepect, Dan, but the hottest girl in the WWE is Cherry. Did you notice that she was the only girl in that bikini contest last night who didn't have ribs that you could play xylophone on? I'm hoping to see Ms. Kara Drew riding that custom chopper at the end of this competition (that's a really gay payoff given the nature of the competition, by the way), but as long as I can see her in a bikini a few more times, I'll be a happy man.

Transitioning from a contest for a chopper to a guy who rides one, Chuck Palumbo had a match against Kane last night. On ECW, they hyped this match, which confused me, because I wasn't aware of any longstanding backstory between the two. Generally, matches are only talked about days in advance if they're a hot match with some sort of backstory. But I digress. Kane could be a great asset to the main event on "SmackDown!", a kid-friendly show centered around gimmick characters if he would be stop being so damn modest about his role in the company. Chuck Palumbo could be a great asset to WWE if he put in his notice and went back to the indies.

Maybe he could even reuinte with the soon-to-be-fired Kip James and reform Billy and Chuck on indy circuits everywhere. I can see it now..."Fags Across America". Hey Fatty, there's a new cause for you to get involved in!

Palumbo's rival as of late, Jamie Noble, took on Big Show at the decision of Vickie Guerrero. Props to Big Show for showing up twice each week to try and get extra heat. He's really been put in a bad situation. Mayweather, who is supposed to be a face, is legitimately hated by fans, so Show has to find a way to transfer shoot heat from Mayweather to himself. Unfortunately, Mayweather is not helping by showing up. But then, if Mayweather doesn't show up at all between now and WrestleMania, Big Show looks like a herb by trying to carry the entire storyline by himself.

Montel Vontavious Porter showed his superior in-ring skills as well as his superior intelligence over white boy Batista last night, retaining his US Championship by getting Batista counted out. I'm quickly losing hope that Matt Hardy will be back before WrestleMania, which will instantly cause the payoff to lose a LOT of its punch. But, for the time being, I suppose The Black Prophet can put the race card back into his deck for another week. Dave Chappelle and Kenan Thompson would like a word with you about how oppressed black entertainers are, Mr. Prophet.

One last note...notice how this entire article seemed to have a coherent flow to it, where one thing transitioned into another? That was another big plus about tonight's "SmackDown!" Again, not perfect, but far better flow than any "Raw" has had in a long time.

Tha Results:
*CM Punk, Jesse & Festus def. Chavo Guerrero, The Miz & John Morrison
*Montel Vontavious Porter def. Batista by countout
*Kane def. Chuck Palumbo
*Big Show def. Jamie Noble
*Edge, Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder def. Undertaker



2 comments: on "Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown"

D.J.B. said...

Ya man, Cherry is in the top three. I've been saying for a while I thought she was awesome, but after last night...DAMN!

Mike Washington said...

Whaaaaat?? Cherry? Ew. Maryse is actually what's happenin. Not only would I leave my girl for a chance with Maryse... I'd kill her if I had to.

Kayfabe, but still Maryse is 10 miles past sexy.