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Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown

Merch whores push the business. Just ask Triple H or Shawn Michaels. So, with that in mind, and with the hopes of getting something for free, this week's "SmackDown!" review will be filled with shameless plugs for O Show merchandise and sponsors. That's right, folks. First I did parodies, and now I'm doing my best Mick Foley impression!

By the way, for those of you who wanted to know, "Casúr" is pronounced with a long "a", hard "s", short "u", emphasis on the "súr" (hence the accent mark over the "ú"). Anyways, on with the show...

I'm noticing that WWE is trying to focus more on Title vs. Streak (as opposed to Streak vs. Streak), which makes me more certain that Undertaker will go over on Edge and extend his streak, regaining the championship in the process in an attempt by the E to make up for the fact that his reign last year was cut very short. What's remarkable about this is even though I'm fairly certain that Undertaker will win, these two men are such good workers that I'm still excited about the match. This match has me excited as Fatty Fronte at the sight of breasts. And, by the way, when he wants to see breasts, he goes to Remember, it's not just April, it's also all her friends! You may not get to play with them, but you'll love looking at them at

Conversely, what I don't like about this feud is the asinine placement of Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. If my time watching WWE has taught me anything, it's that you can't build a suitable stable by taking some guys who are green and vanilla and throw them as baggage onto a top guy. This didn't work for JBL and his Cabinet, and it's not working now for Edge. These guys are so vanilla, they were handed a piece of one of the most charismatic superstars in the company, and even on his coattails, they can't get over.

There are plenty of guys in indies who would be better suited for this role, including many of the great workers from Living Legends Wrestling. Folks, don't forget to check out for all the news and info you need about LLW, voted best indepedent promotion in Ontario in 2007!

Shelton Benjamin is now on his way to Money In The Bank for the third time in four years. In the past, he was clearly just there to do a few high spots, but this year, given the fact that he's on ECW, and the fact that he's being pushed on ECW, he makes a semi-legitimate contender. As I said earlier this week, have Money In The Bank be used for guys who are ready to smash the glass ceiling, and use it to have one of them do so. That being said, however, if Shelton Benjamin wants to hold a World Championship this year, he's better off just going to, the company that's making legends one belt at a time.

MVP lost to Batista last night. I don't know what the timetable is on Matt Hardy's return, but if he's not back before WrestleMania, I say have Porter drop the strap to somebody else. Yes, it would be nice to have Hardy get the title and the rub from MVP, but you can only keep a storyline on the shelf so long before it becomes stale. You can't put it in a nice styrofoam cooler and keep it in the freezer, like you can with some delicious Evo. Check them out at

Kane and Great Khali faced off last night in an unanticipated WrestleMania 23 rematch. For how much Vince loves big guys, it's hard to believe that he's dropped the ball as many times as he has with Kane. It gets me a little angry that a guy that over gets put in shit angle after shit angle. But, I quickly recover by going to, where the marks always get satisfaction.

Big Daddy V crushed Shannon Moore last night. It's kinda odd how the writers have backtracked so quickly with this guy. A few short months ago, he had an ECW Championship match against CM Punk. Then, at Armageddon, he pinned Punk clean. Who'd have thought that those matches would ultimately lead to nothing, and he'd be back to squashing jobbers in the midcard? Way to drop the ball, E.

Jesse and Festus are one of the best things going on "SmackDown!" right now. They can work in the ring, they can work their gimmick, plus, they have a great gimmick that is entertaining! I propose that all "SmackDown!" angles from now on should feature the children of at least one friend of Micheal Hayes. I could see the quality of the product drastically improve that way. The product would be almost as dope as Secret Suburbia's new album, "Midi Gritty", which is on sale at all HMV outlets throughout Canada, and online at

Rey Mysterio came out to address his hometown crowd, only to be interrupted by Vickie Guerrero. Call me old fashioned, but in a show that's designed to be kid-friendly, I believe that it's much easier for there to not be an evil power in control. When you're trying to create controversial television a la the attitude era, it works, but "SmackDown!" is meant to be for the kids and the marks, and I think that based on that, a face GM works better for making an entertaining product.

Anyways, Rey got put into an impromptu match with Chavo Guerrero, which was decent considering that Rey was working with a busted wing. After the match, Big Show came out to beat down Mysterio. I question this move. I get that Big Show is supposed to be a heel in his current angle with Floyd Mayweather, but Mayweather is a natural heel, and having Show be the bad guy and building Mayweather as a good guy when clearly people would rather boo him doesn't make much sense.

Trying to force people to cheer and boo for guys they don't want to makes about as much sense as trying to convince anyone that Souljah Boy is better than Dan-e-o. If you think that, you either have no taste, or you've never heard any of Dan-e-o's sick beats. By the way, if you fall into the latter category, you can pick up a copy of any of Dan-e-o's dope albums at his online store at

Tha Results (bought to you by Hammerlock Video, creators of fine Ontario Indy Wrestling DVD's):
Batista def. MVP
Big Daddy V def. Shannon Moore
Shelton Benjamin def. Jimmy Wang Yang to qualify for Money In The Bank
Kane def. Great Khali
Chuck Palumbo def. Matt Jackson
Jesse and Festus def. Deuce & Domino
Rey Mysterio def. Chavo Guerrero

4 comments: on "Tha SmackDown! ThrowDown"

D.J.B. said...

Wow, I never knew all this great stuff was just one click away! Holy Shit! Thanks for all the kickass information Mr. Cuhshour...or is it Cashure...or Casshour...or Cantelope, oh well whatever the fuck your name is, nice job pushing the merch.

As far as "SmackDown!" I dont have to watch it that much anymore, so I dont. I may later, but I'd rather just visit for all my wrestling needs.

Anonymous said...

This is the second time that they have not used the normal "Cherry". What is the deal with that? Anybody know?

D.J.B. said...

I think it's the same Cherry. I didn't get a great look at her, but I think she just straightened her hair.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure she was different. I know the last time they had a fill in, they didn't show her face like at all. They kinda avoided her. The same thing happened this time, and she wasn't "helping" them or distracting or anything on their behalf.