Last night, after a quick trip to Subway, me and my boys sat at my house with our Italian BMT's to watch an episode of "iMPACT!", and were absolutely blown away. If TNA can put out programming like this every week, they will be around for a long time to come. It wasn't perfect, but it was damn good.The show opened up with Christian Cage and his "personal security force" discussing Abyss and Sting. Apparently TNA really hates me, because it seems like everytime I suggest surrounding him with less henchmen, they put more around him. With that in mind, let me try the opposite-yes, Dixie, great move.
What Cage needs now is more flunkies. Why stop with a personal security force? Have all the knockouts act as groupies and have all the other heels in TNA act as his roadies. Have half of the roster out there with every match he has. It'll be great TV.
There, problem solved.
The first match of the evening pitted Robert Roode against Sting. Now, Sting is a legend and all, so he does deserve a lot of credit, but I don't really like the fact that he uses so many up and comers as job meat. I know he's over, but damnit, TNA should be using that to their advantage!
When a heel beats a face main eventer, it's logical that they should be elevated. They need Sting to start jobbing to the up and comers more often...oh, wait, never mind, he doesn't want to, that was the reason he didn't go to WWE.
As for the match itself, it was another great chance for Roode to showcase his skills. I know that TNA tends to do the opposite of whatever I gripe about in these articles (I got a lot of proof on that one, too), but fuck it, if this guy doesn't become a champion in TNA, the writers in the back are straight-up idiots.
The next match of the night featured Shelley and Sabin against LAX. LAX seemed to turn face without and rhyme or reason, but I doubt anybody's losing sleep over it. They're the tag team of the future, and Homicide's cutter from the top rope was a sick "O".After the match, Team 3D, the Steiners, and VKM came out, in that order, and argued over who the best tag team was. Now, I know that people on Tha O Show have stated in the past that constantly using insults like "fat" in promos is lame, but Steiner delivered a great promo last night, even using the term countless times.
Brother Ray's reaction of "Stop calling me fat!" was priceless, even moreso because he yelled it do loud that no mic was necessary to hear it. These truly are some of the best tag teams in wrestling, and the promos they cut last night were top notch.
Even without the tag team championships, the tag team division in TNA is more solid than it has been in a long time. With three of the greatest tag teams of all time, plus the tag team of the future in the mix, it's looking good for TNA's former bread and butter. And that's not even counting Triple X and Motor City Machine Guns!
Speaking of great promos, Kurt Angle delivered last night. I felt bad doing it, but I couldn't help but crack up at more than half of the things he said. My bro JD put it best-he's supposed to be a heel, but he's so damn funny that you can't help but like his character. And at the end, revealing that Kevin Nash was the psychiatrist that he was talking to added an extra kick to the promo.
From the good promos, we gotta go to the bad promos. While Cody Rhodes is busy sucking over in WWE, his brother is doing the same over in TNA. His promo last night was painful to watch. Dude, everybody knows you're nuts, your biggest claim to fame in the wrestling world was a transexual gimmick. You don't have to convince anyone that you're crazy; we believe you. Where the hell is Matt Morgan, already? Sparking a feud between Harris and Goldust is going to bury Harris so badly.
The main event of the night featured AJ Styles VS. Abyss. When this match was announced, I immediately had flashbacks to the old days when these two tore the house down in The Asylum. The match between these two was a very good match, prior to all the run-ins. Here's how bad the run-ins were-I forgot there was still a match going on! Styles went over on Abyss; it doesn't really do anything for either character, but hell, at least Styles is getting TV time.I also had to "O" for the arguing between Roode and Styles throughout the course of the evening. Could Roode be on his way to another big win over a TNA main eventer? Having victories over both Jarrett and Styles under his belt would be a huge shot in the arm, and would creative a massive springboard to launch this guy into superstardom.
Overall, this was a great "iMPACT!" Not too much time was given to one specific person, the majority of the promos were excellent, and the matches showcased a fair amount of "O"s for a televised show.
The best part of last night's show? With my buds over, we were talking the whole time, so I didn't have to hear Tenay or West.
10 comments: on "Tha "iMPACT!" Dispatch"
Moment numero uno of iMPACT was this:
Styles and Roode standing on the second rope in the same corner shoving one another to get the spotlight. These two are fucking GOLD, and a feud between them while still in Christian's Coalition would be even more entertaining.
Damn iMPACT has been really good lately, and I really hope that the two hour thing with whatever Fox network comes through.
Yes, Impact was very good alst night. I think Scott Steiner gave one of his best prmos in years. It seems like they making Team 3D the heels in the feud and the Seiners the faces. It will be interesting to see if they turn LAX faces to.
Angle has been great the last two weeks and so has Christian. I hope TNA gets two hours soon cause they can do so much.
Dude, I'm not sure if you were being sarcastic or not, but a Christian Coalition like 20 deep would be dope. And, I'm dead serious.
Dude has 3 flicks comin' out within the next year or so, no one has a legit flaw on him. Great worker, Great Talker, he has the IT factor; all it needs is an over-the-top push.
A Hogan/NWO-esque type of setting, except CHRISTIAN CAGE is the ONLY focus, everyone else (heels)would be secondary.
It might flop, but it's an original idea. The kind TNA needs.
I was being unbelievably sarcastic. This guy can get over on his own merit, there's no need to keep guys like Styles and Roode down, or keep stiffs like Tomko around just to get him over.
I can see why you'd be for that idea, but it would flop, simply for the fact that so much good talent would get buried if they did that. The original idea that TNA needs is to let this guy stand on his own; throughout his entire career, he's barely ever truly been a singles star, he's always been in a tag team or faction. Let his star shine on it's own, and great results will follow.
That's what it would do, it'd be ALL ABOUT CHRISTIAN.
Don't dismiss the possibility, remember who's writing for TNA. As far as burying the other talent, How many guys were in NWO, and how many were buried? Of course let some of the heels distance from him, in the tag or x division. I just remembered, I still think he's the damn champ. I catch myself forgetting.
TNA needs something to drastically up its ratings.
I would love to see the X division get it's footing back. It seems that they have been using it as a breeding ground for tag teams. The X division use to stand on it's own and was a major draw for smarks and marks alike. And Christan is the gold standard nowadays, let the man run on his own. It seems TNA is all about having it's big heel run with groups. I personally, don't like it anymore. It's been played out.
I'm just now seeing the replay and I love this show. I think I've watched TNA once before this so give me a break, I'm a noob.
I really like the "Motorcity Machine Guns", maybe cause I'm a mark for Michigan, especially Detroit, wrestlers. I was born and raised Southeast MI (Bout 30 minutes from the D.)
Having all the legendary teams in the ring was awesome. WCW's best, (Arguably) WWE's best, and ECW's best. Then LAX, TNA's best. Let's get a 4 way tag match made pronto.
Christian Cage is gold. I fuckin' love this guy. Vince should be stabbing himself for letting him go.
Plunkett...Matt Morgan is planned for iMPACT this week, and it is said that TNA has huge plans for him.
Muh, muh, muh, muh, maybe it'll b,b,b,be better than stu, stu, stu, stuttering. Lets hope so.
didn't know where to put this, but apparently Pacman mother fuckin Jones has signed with TNA.
I guess TNA will take any pub they can get right now.
Hey, an update on the Pacman Jone's thing. He has signed a deal but won't actually wrestle because it violates his contract with Tennessee. It's on ESPN.com
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