You just knew that being the last edition of "Raw" before WrestleMania 23, last night's episode would have to be a big one. And boy did WWE deliver...what was pretty much totally expected.Not that "Raw" was particularly bad last night or anything, it was just entirely predictable. You just knew going into the episode that Bobby Lashley was bound to be destroyed. He's been so dominant for the past several weeks that in classic WWE-fashion, he had to receive a beatdown before the big event.
That, inevitably, will signal what we all already know to be the obvious outcome of this Sunday's "Battle of the Billionaires" contest. A Lashley win, and a bald Vince McMahon.
Was anyone surprised by Jonathan Coachman's announcement that the McMahon/Lashley match was a "No DQ"? How else was Vinnie Mac supposed to live up to his "guaran-damn-tee" that he would pin Lashley for the 1-2-3? And just curious, but why was Vince wrestling in a sweater? You'd think that after being the coverboy for a muscle magazine, he'd want to continue showing off the guns.
Either way, and more importantly...the predictability of this match got even more intense when the "we're-not-part-of-WrestleMania-so-we're-all-doing-run-ins-tonight" crew showed up. The perennial "we're-not-actually-involved-in-this-feud" team of Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch really deserve to be treated better.
And was it just me or did Lashley try to kick out at two when the ref actually counted three to end the debacle? Did he not know the finish? Another question, shouldn't Vince McMahon be expecting a major lawsuit on his hands for beating up his limo driver last night?
Anyway, enough about all that...let's discuss someone who SHOULD be headlining WrestleMania. Yep, Edge.Last night's edition of "The Cutting Edge" represented an interesting competition amongst the "Money In The Bank" participants. It was a promo-cutting contest. Here are my awards:
Best Name Call - Finlay for calling Edge "Chisel Chin".
The Vince McMahon Award for Best Facial Expression - Mr. Kennedy when grabbing the mic to confirm that Edge had been dodging opponents for the past several weeks.
Weakest Promo - Matt Hardy for telling Edge he'd lay him on his back like his ex-girlfriend. Um...you mean YOUR ex-girlfriend Matt?
Most Believable Comment - O-master, Jeff Hardy for saying he will be stealing the show.
Best Point Made - Edge for noting that he's won more Ladder Matches than anyone in the match combined AND that he's never lost at WrestleMania. If it wasn't for his current mystery injury, I'd swear he was going over this Sunday. A part of me still hope he does.
Edge is one of the best heels in the business today and still deserves a real run with the big belt. As Big Daddy Donnie mentioned on our last radio show, Edge is a cut above the rest of the competition in this match. He also has the best "All Grown Up" story that is being used to promote WM23.
Honestly, the "All Grown Up" tagline is super weak. But his bit on being a member of the 67,000-plus crowd at WrestleMania VI (along with me!) had me reminiscing. Can't wait for WrestleMania to come back to Toronto for a third time.
How bad is the Women's Title Match going to be this Sunday? Ashley's reactions and instincts in the ring are deplorable. That's right...deplorable. Her "I-don't-know-if-I'm-supposed-to-hit-you-now" reaction to getting slapped by Melina last night during their match on "Raw" was a joke. Thank God, the match at Mania will be a "Lumberjill Match". Why? At least we'll all have a variety of titties and asses to peruse over while this joke of a match is performed.
By the way, big O to Candice for her ring gear last night. Nothing like a bare under-tittie to get a dreaded rapper excited.Another O last night: CM Punk's finisher. The 'knee to the face from a fireman's carry' move is sick! Thankfully, he'll be headed to WrestleMania 23 with a better look than when Kennedy squashed him on "SmackDown!" a couple weeks ago.
Back to the finisher...sorry to say it, but the move represents yet another reason why John Cena is so shit. Cena's finisher is a glorified bodyslam from the fireman's carry position. From the exact same position, CM Punk drives his opponent up over his head into a lifted knee. It's a beautiful move.
And just when you thought I was being unnecessarily hard on the guy again, Cena shows up after a commercial break to promptly display the "shit factor" he possesses as Big Daddy Donnie so eloquently put it last radio hour. Did Cena actually refer to himself as one of the two most charismatic superstars in WWE history?
Now here's something that I KNOW has to have Donnie boiling: Jim Ross is the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame. Sorry bro.Personally, I disagree with his induction for the same reason I disagree with Jerry Lawler's induction. It's too early! Neither of these men are retired yet. And in the case of Good Ol' J.R., he is being inducted specifically as an announcer. While the argument can be made that Lawler deserves Hall of Fame status due to his wrestling career, Ross is a still-working commentator who should NOT be inducted into the Hall of Fame until he is retired. Isn't that how this shit is supposed to work anyway?
Now here's the thing. I actually disagree with my O Show co-founder about Jim Ross' ability to call matches. Unlike Donnie, I do think that Ross is one of the greatest announcers of all time. He should be a FUTURE Hall of Famer. Ross has made some of the most memorable calls in the history of the business. While Mick Foley put J.R. over last night by saying that his "As God as my witness, he is broken in half!" call was the greatest sports call ever made, I beg to differ.
From the same Undertaker VS. Mankind "Hell In A Cell" Match from King of the Ring in 1998, I'll always remember J.R. summing up the contest by saying: "In 25 years, I have never witnessed anything that even closely resembles what we have just witnessed!". Truer words couldn't have been spoken. They still give me chills.
And finally....FINALLY! Shawn Michaels plays Sweet Chin Music for John Cena. We all knew it was coming. Might as well be the last "Raw" before Mania, right? As much as I popped (as did the crowd who booed Cena during most of the main event last night), this may spell bad news for Cena-haters like myself. If we believe in the classic WWE "Lashley-got-beat-up-because-he's-going-to-win-Sunday" logic that I spoke of earlier in this article, then does this spell a title retain for Cena at WM23?God I hope not.
Either way, doesn't look like The Smashin' Masters is going to retain Tha O League Championship as we are now in the final week for the WWE Fantasy Game. Here are the standings after week 9:
1 Tha Hitman - 2207 pts
2 Dan-e-o loves Cena - 2083 pts
3 Goatbusters - 2079 pts
4 Team_Rated_RKO - 2062 pts
5 Smashin' Masters 2K7 - 2033 pts
6 Methods Of Mayhem - 2019 pts
7 Team Boudreau - 1999 pts
8 The O Noes! - 1981 pts
9 TheEndustry - 1948 pts
10 wrestling4life - 1880 pts
11 Kelly's Killers - 1762 pts
12 Dan-e-o - 1718 pts
13 Rizo's Roster - 1712 pts
14 D-Generation Next - 1633 pts
15 Sketch - 1632 pts
16 BigDaddyDonnie - 1594 pts
17 Metal Gods - 1557 pts
18 The Kickassters - 1549 pts
19 Rapsfan - 1499 pts
20 I love ThaOShow.Com - 1276 pts
21 JorJorBynks - 1207 pts
22 Illinois' Finest - 1119 pts
28 comments: on "Tha Raw Report"
Even though CM Punk borrowed (I don't like using stole :P) his new finisher (As hopefully it is) from KENTA it does fit him like a glove.
I have to disagree with Dan-e-o about the Money In The Bank segment last night. I popped when Hardy mentioned Lita, because you had to know it was coming, and Edge's reaction was priceless. Everybody cut a good promo in that segment, even Orton was good ("Don't hurt his feelings, Finlay, he may use that to back out of the match"-gold.) Jeff Hardy probably had the weakest out of all the promos, and his was still good.
Cade and Murdoch need to go to ECW and have tag titles established on that show. End of story.
The Melina/Ashley match cannot be described without using the word "cluster". Hopefully this match will be before the title matches, it will be a well-timed piss break that way.
I agree that it is too early for Ross, but he does deserve to get in. Yes, he has this tendency to have a revisionist history of things, but I would be willing to bet that it's fed to him by the creative team. The guy's a team player, and his voice has become synonymous with RAW over the years. I loved hearing different superstars quote his various catchphrases, although, much like Dan-e-o, I have a different favorite phrase from the Hell In A Cell match. It actually came from Lawler, who upon Foley being chokeslammed through the cell roof, quickly blurted out "Yeah, that's it, he's dead."
I was both surprised and pleased with how well Lashley sold last night. Cena and Batista have never sold that well. Lashley used to sell really well between No Way Out 2006 and his transfer to ECW, then started no-selling in an attempt to get him over as "unstoppable". But Lindsay went down faster than a whore on a rich dude after each of the two Samoan Spikes, and sold it like death. I did notice the odd pin at the end, however, and I also had expected interference from Eugene in the match.
I had expected Undertaker and Batista to turn on each other during the match, but didn't expect Cena and Michaels to, and I o'd like you would not believe when Michaels damn near kicked Cena's head off.
If I choke this week in the Fantasy League, I'm gonna have heat with you, Dan-e-o. Not really, but if you put me over enough, I'm probably going to end up choking.
Plunkett it's been more than a month since i changed my roster
so you better win.
Donnie, you'd be amazed at how badly I can choke at times. Keep in mind that I live half an hour away from where the Buffalo Sabres play, and my college is right next door to the stadium the Buffalo Bills play in. This could potentially be a bigger choke than when Bart Gunn faced Butterbean at WrestleMania XV.
I do believe I'm about to find out real fast if there are any other O-sters from WNY.
Are you really not gonna give Cena any props for that promo last night? if so, then your bias is as confusing as racism... i just dont get it... you decide you dont like the guy and nothing could change it... How's the guy supposed to sell himself "Hi, Im John Cena I dont deserve any of this... I'm not a chain wrestler and I listen to what my boss says because I get paid alot of money... Buy this PPV"...
They couldve shaved 5 minutes off Lindsay selling that thumb to the jugular
Did anybody catch the Orton Pop? Orton is coming along well, I think he can attribute alot of it to being around Edge...very nice
Jeff Hardy needs to keep that intensity in his voice... And I think he called it dead on... the guy will steal the show...
Matt's statement was expected... I'm hoping on a Hardy v Hardy program leading into Summerslam... tell me it wouldnt sell
Finlay will take a SIC bump sunday...
It will be interesting to see King Bookah in a mtach like this... im curious as to how far he'll go
But, I gotta go with Kennedy in this one... the guy cant help but stand out in a ring filled with 7 other great wrestlers...
Punk is the only other guy that I think could pull the win... either way there will be a NewBreed interaction involved in the match
I seriously hope neither the lumberjill match or the kane v khali match take up more than 5 minutes of my life... myabe kane will find a way to use that hook creatively (tryin to be optimistic)
jbrown, i completely agree with you on john cena.Ok, youll have to explain the comparison to racism to me, but other then that i agree. I really liked his promo last night it actually made wrestlemania sound really exciting and interesting. Some people will just never like cena because he doesnt wrestle the exact certain way some people would like him to. The man can cut a good promo at least. Hes not like batista going "So...uh...yeah...I really respect the Undertaker....I mean....14-0 at wrestlemania...thats just darn....impressive....but im the animal....and im not afraid of him......uuuuuuuuuuuh yeeeeop....not afraid of him".
Ok so he doesnt wrestle like benoit, or regal, or finlay...that doesnt make him bad. It just makes him more unique.I also have to agree with you about orton he's definitly on the road to relavance again.
As for money in the bank im both thinking and hoping cm punk will come out of detriot the winner.
jbrown, i completely agree with you on john cena.Ok, youll have to explain the comparison to racism to me, but other then that i agree. I really liked his promo last night it actually made wrestlemania sound really exciting and interesting. Some people will just never like cena because he doesnt wrestle the exact certain way some people would like him to. The man can cut a good promo at least. Hes not like batista going "So...uh...yeah...I really respect the Undertaker....I mean....14-0 at wrestlemania...thats just darn....impressive....but im the animal....and im not afraid of him......uuuuuuuuuuuh yeeeeop....not afraid of him".
Ok so he doesnt wrestle like benoit, or regal, or finlay...that doesnt make him bad. It just makes him more unique.I also have to agree with you about orton he's definitly on the road to relavance again.
As for money in the bank im both thinking and hoping cm punk will come out of detriot the winner.
jbrown, i completely agree with you on john cena.Ok, youll have to explain the comparison to racism to me, but other then that i agree. I really liked his promo last night it actually made wrestlemania sound really exciting and interesting. Some people will just never like cena because he doesnt wrestle the exact certain way some people would like him to. The man can cut a good promo at least. Hes not like batista going "So...uh...yeah...I really respect the Undertaker....I mean....14-0 at wrestlemania...thats just darn....impressive....but im the animal....and im not afraid of him......uuuuuuuuuuuh yeeeeop....not afraid of him".
Ok so he doesnt wrestle like benoit, or regal, or finlay...that doesnt make him bad. It just makes him more unique.I also have to agree with you about orton he's definitly on the road to relavance again.
As for money in the bank im both thinking and hoping cm punk will come out of detriot the winner.
Sorry about that thing posting twice. Not sure how it happened.
all in all it was a good show and yes Orton got the pOp. but i still say Kennedy out did everyone by his charisma alone "im being a fan (mark) for kennedy" wouldnt it be funny if some how through some sick bump or amazing finnisher khali and kane stole the show
just to clarify things before things escalate... the whole racism thing was a joke... its just a good word to grab people's attention
ya cuz racism is funny to joke about. Well done mark. Cena's promo last night was the SAME AS ALWAYS. Flowed well but had NO NATURAL fire to it. No comedy. Just flow.
I liked the start to Cena's promo, giving WM that epic flavor, but as in the case of just about anybody's promos (that includes JBL, Edge, HBK, Austin, whoever), I lost interest quickly.
If it weren't for the fact that I like reading about wrestling, I would advice the O staff to just stop writing these show recaps, and instead adopt a blanket format for each one:
"The Raw Report:
CENA BAD. EDGE GOOD. LASHLEY WHY? MARIA BOIOIOIOIOIOING."
"Tuesday Night Extreme:
UGH."
"Talkin' Smack!
KENNEDY GOOD. JBL BEST. BATISTA BAD. PUSH BENOIT."
It would save the site a lot of bandwidth, and you'd all spend less time coming up with new ways of saying the same thing. Cena could donate his entire Wrestlemania payday to starving 3rd world orphans (that weren't alrady adoptd by Angelina Jolie) and Dan-e-o would bitch that it wasn't enough.
Metal God Capt nailed it on the head (maybe nobody can or ever could cut a good promo)... plus he called it Tuesday Night Extreme, its catching on... but i have to defend tha TNE report... there's only been one, so lets not put it to a template just yet...
Great report as usual Dan-e-o!However I disagree with your thoughts on JR.I feel that it doesn't matter whether or not JR is retired when he is inducted just as long as he is.I'm sure that my fellow O-sters have also noticed JR's tendency to fuck up a lot more in recent years (even leading some people I've been talking to on the net to fear for the man's mental well-being) so I say why not let him enjoy it now while he still knows what's going on!I agree whole-heartedly with your thoughts on Cade,Murdoch,Edge,Ashley(idiot!),Candice(HOLY SHIT!!!) etc. but,although it suits his style of wrestling down to the ground Punk completely ripped that move from Kenta (as mentioned by somebody else) and it pisses me off to no end!Hopefully we'll see HBK play some more Sweet Chin Music on Cena's face in the very near future (hopefully multiple times!)
So what if all the articles say the same thing? It gets proven true every week, the only difference from week to week is how they display it in their programming. From there, you critique the product. That's what writers do. If a football player is consistently horrible, it gets written about every week in the context of what he did wrong last game. It's no different for wrestling.
As far as the Dan-e-o comment, I would aplaud John Cena is he donated his entire paycheck to combat world hunger. That shows that in real life, he's a great person. But all the charity work and community service in the world does not change the fact that he is stuck with a character that doesn't mesh with his natural charisma and is consequently boring.
Candidomark,
Wrestlers "steal" other wrestlers' moves all the time. How many times has a superstar used a Lou Thesz Press?
Angle started using the Anklelock, a move originally made famous by Ken Shamrock.
Walls of Jericho? Nothing more than a glorifired Boston Crab.
How many wrestlers have used Sharpshooters since Hart left WWE? Hell, Sting used the move before Hart did.
Jeff Jarrett uses the Figure-Four Leg Lock, a move originally used by Ric Flair.
Styles Clash? Crash Landing? Same move.
How many wrestlers have used that lame neckbreaker that MVP now uses or that Rob Conway/Test used to use?
Didn't Sylvester Terkay use the Muscle Buster as a finisher prior to coming to WWE? Doesn't Samoa Joe use that as a finisher as well?
RKO, Diamond Cutter, Twist of Fate. All the same move, only difference is the flashy start to it. Still just a three-quarter facebuster.
The bottom line is this-who cares if Punk ripped off a move, especially if it's one that make you "O"? It's not the first time, and it certainly won't be the last.
Hey Brian,
You raise a great point and I'm not disputing that this doesn't go on all the time.It just annoys me that young WWE fans who watch CM Punk when finally exposed to puroresu,if at all will probably think that KENTA got the idea for the move from Punk.I know it's a great treat for Western audiences to see such a great move performed week in and week out but he could at least call it the Go 2 Sleep as a nod to KENTA.For example,although granted it's not a finisher,Shelton Benjamin does "The Stinger Splash".The Rock,Benoit,hell even Trish Stratus (as you pointed out) have done what's been acknowledged on tv as "The Sharpshooter" out of respect for what Bret Hart did for the company.And although KENTA has done sweet fuck all for the E maybe I'd just like to see foreign wrestlers appreciated more (That most WWE fans have never even heard of Suwa,Kenta Kobashi,Mistico etc. is an absolute travesty).But it isn't even that,Sting's move was acknowledged (well at least before he joined TNA) and he's never worked for the E in his life.Damned Punk,he's got me ranting now!
Hm. It seems the last two RAW's before WM were as boring as hell.
Sweet move by Punk, sweet kick by HBK. Other than that not much else to write home about. I'm out
I'm glad we all agree(most of us) that we love CM Punks finisher. I will for once go on record to give props to Kenny suckadyckstra for selling that move so well. Also, Cena was talking about the Lindsey Umaga match when he said two of the most charasmatic individuals. I did however expect them to announce The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan part II. Also would've liked to see the superkick come from the edge of that camera angle and knock him unconscience(the hard way) JR isn't the worst, he is ONE of the best, but not the best ever. He does have several moments that still give me chills. If I watched WMXX right now and as Benoit is standing on the turnbuckles, Jr in a voice that he's losing for putting those 3 great workers over all match, "Chris Benoit has become Heavyweight Champion OF THIS WORLD!" I just got em. RAW wasn't that bad last night, and I kinda O'ed for Matt Hardy saying that, and then Edge's response, "you're done speaking." Chiselchin was the shiznittlebamshipsnapstap. Kennedy, Orton and Edge, is that a dream trifecta if done correctly?(I know it won't be used ever but WOW)
Also, I'm going on record to say that WHEN Batista wins his match, I may go vomit. It'll happen. As much as I hate him, and the fact that he'll ruin everything that WM is supposed to be, the E is going to put him over. Ads for post Mania house shows have him as champion, WWE MAG had an article about stuff they'd like to see, and one of them was someone worth of breaking Takers streak. I pray it doesn't happen but it will.
Good article Dan-e-o.
I O'd like a bitch for CM Punk's finish.
Kennedy was awesome (As always), but was I the only one who, after Kennedy said "Missteerrr!", was hopin' he'd grab the mic from Edge like 10 seconds later and say "Kennedy". That'd be hillarious.
Orton showed some charisma. I'm slowly starting to like him.
Good show. Made me alittle nostalgic. Not sure why...
I keep reading about people talking about these post-Mania house show ads that have Batista deending the title. The WWE may do a lot of stupid things, but distributing ad copy to radio stations that give away the results of their biggest event of the year is not one of them. Edge is on the Backlash poster - does anyone think he's still going to win MITB?
Edge needs to win the MITB.
Orton has always had tons of charisma, and is a good worker. I think you all mistook Frank for fuckin Orton for lack of charisma(not trying to correct or put words in Franks mouth), but it was inability to deliver a scripted promo. That's true, but in the ring Orton has IT. Good worker, storyteller, and props for reintroducing the Garvin(now Orton) stomp. If Orton or Edge doesn't win the MitB or be number on contender to RAWs title at Backlash the E doesn't have their priorities in line. Anybody could win it, but Edge and Orton are two of the top heels on any brand, and should be challenging the WWE champion at Backlash or no later than Vengeance. Orton deserves mare than 3 weeks with the gold and so does Edge.
MetalGod, you said WWE doesn't do anything stupid like giving away the results to it's events, so why if Edge would win the MitB would he be on the Backlash poster? He's been on posters before but it never meant anything, so which way do you want to take it? Kane was on an Unforgiven poster once and he wrestled Michaels for absolutely nothing. Oh wait Kane had injured his "throat" months earlier. The posters usually don't mean much, it's about 55-45 yes to no, but again Edge should win MitB.
Also Cena gets no props for the promo for going that far to put himself over. Listen to a heels promo, they put themselves over like that. And also don't refer to yourself as something you're not. Cena as charasmatic, certainly. Cena as one of the most charasmatic individuals, certainly...not. He could've given himself the nod and put over by saying something like, the epic encounter between the showstopper, the main event, one of the greatest to ever lace up the boots, and the man who is maybe the most controversial mother...(that as a nod to his oldschool promos)to wear the gold, the man who has overcome the odds(KAYFABE) time and time again, the man who has main evented more ppv's in the last 2 years than some guys have won matches. The man who has dominated(or held) the WWE championship for the better part of 2 years, did you hear that? TWO YEARS. The man who week after week, after week can look all of you dead in the eye and say, THE CHAMP IS HERE. And the man who if you step in his path, will F...U. I know that promo was trash, be at least he(or the creative staff that wrote it for him) could have used the truth, not biased bullshit they've built up for him.
I actually like that promo you came up with D.J.B. Lol I think you found a new calling.
DJB does seem to have IT.
We could get him over big time if Triple H drops him with a Pedigree.
Rumor is that second place is getting an replica X Division title belt. Reason being, they didn't want to pick a prize that had a lot of worth.
Zing.
Could be worse, though-third place gets to spend a weekend with Vince Russo.
Thanks for the props for the promo.
I bought a TNA X title replica, because it is a step ahead of the NWO, you don't have to spray paint it already has an X through it. I know I'm alone in this, but I actually like the belt.
At this point, I wouldn't be entirely set on a second-place prize. You caught up to me quick. You're only 40 points behind me, and with a pay-per-view this weekend, you could easily pass me.
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