Is there anything worse than all babyface booking that is pandering to the lowest common denominator? Aren't we all sick of seeing the same old crap?For those who missed all the sports/entertainment action last night, let me bring you up to speed. The Suns won. Again. Tiger Woods won. Again. Roger Federer won. Again. John Cena won. Fuck.
At least Steve Nash sells adversity better than the Marine.
To recap this brutally booked show:
The Hardy Boys inexplicably defeated MNM. What the hell was the point of this match anyways? The ONLY way this match made ANY sense was if Nitro pinned Jeff to fuel an IC title rematch. Instead, The Hardys win clean. Will the Hardys now be elevated to a tag title program? NO, cuz they're not a real tag team. Mercury didn't get any revenge and now the feud is dead, and Nitro has lost momentum. Lovely.
Test got his first crack at a World Title, and despite all the promos where he claimed to be the Impact Player in ECW and where he guaranteed he'd win the belt... he decided to let himself be counted out. WHAAAAT?
He lost a match against Lashley last week on Sci Fi, then INTENTIONALLY loses on a PPV by countout? Does anyone else think those finishes should have been REVERSED? What the hell?
Then, we're treated to Ken Kennedy's challenge of 'Batitsa'. Look, plain and simple: Batista sucks. Okay. He can't work, he can't talk, all he does is shake the ropes and hit the SLOPPIEST Tiger Bomb in the history of Sports Entertainment.Kennedy is a solid worker, great on the mic and has a compelling backstory. Why the hell not give him a sniff? Nope, keep the belt on dumb, boring ass Batista. The crowd was RED HOT for Kennedy and were chanting his name like mad! Aren't you LISTENING Vince? San Antonio is NOT a heel town. Never has been.
Ok, so now I'm thinking, it's been a babyface clean sweep, and all the champs have retained.... so the stage has been set for Umaga to be crowned new WWE Champ, right?
NO. OF COURSE NOT. THAT WOULD BE LOGICAL!
Cena, no-sells his injuries throughout the entire match to the point of embarrassment. Jim Ross was trying to sell them for John while he ran around the ring like it wasn't no thing.The crowd was RED HOT for Umaga and were chanting his name like mad! Aren't you LISTENING Vince? San Antonio is NOT a heel town. Never has been.
Where the hell was Khali? They've been featuring him in Cena's face for weeks. Wouldn't this be the perfect time to bring him out and cost Cena the title? Dumb.
Then the Rumble Match. Much respect to Finlay who looked great. I mean really great. ECW was treated like ass in this match. Sure CM Punk was in there 20 or 25 minutes, but he didn't eliminate a single guy and just basically got tossed around.
The Undertaker came in at number 30, and was the first man to win from that spot. Again, dumb booking. Sure, it's nice to have a babyface accomplish a "first", but THAT first? A guy winning from the 30 spot sounds very heel-ish to me.
The final four were exactly what everyone predicted: Orton, Edge, HBK and Taker.
HBK eliminated the tag team champs, before he and Taker had a nice little match. I give them both credit, but why the hell do either of them need to win this match at this stage of their careers?How about using this opportunity to MAKE a star? They've done it in the past with Benoit and Rey. Why not do it now?
The WWE has been saying they don't want baby versus baby title matches at Mania, but right now, that's what they're set up for.
Rumors of Taker versus Batista have been floating for months, but all the champs are babys. Regardless of which belt he decides he wants, Taker will not be beaten at WM23. Take that to the bank.
The booking tonight was not logical, it didn't serve to advance or elevate anyone, and simply catered to the ultra marks that filled the movie theatre Dan-e-o and I were in. By the way - much respect to P-Dawg for the hook ups.
So O-Sters, what did you think of this piece of crap?
11 comments: on "Worst Rumble Ever"
i wanna see this document in which wwe stats their anti face vs face
and batista sucks cena in a slump and their is now bright light in the future if events keep going this way
I could not understand the commentary team for rumble. JBL was great, but with Cole and King?
They managed to slap ECW and JR right in the face.
Michaels and Taker are bona fide stars. They put on a solid show and draw big, no matter where they go. They've also played the role of team player for a long time (disagree with me if you so desire, but think of the title-hogging Jeff Jarrett before you do), so why not let them go at it in the main event? As far as building a "new star", do you honestly think that if someone like, say, Johnny Nitro or Matt Hardy won, that Cena or Batista would actually agree to put them over at WrestleMania?
Cena and Batista have no SAY in who gets put over. Let's remember that. They have NO PULL.
And when I talk about taking the opportunity to put someone over - I'm not talkin out of left field.
Edge would be a good choice.
So would Orton.
Hell they shoulda had Kennedy, Test and Umaga enter the Rumble upon losing their matches just to spice things up.
I'd MUCH rather see Taker VS. HBK at Mania.
"and simply catered to the ultra marks . . . "
Exactly. That's what WWE does. They're going to do what they're going to do and thats it, as long as those who disapprove are in the minority. You wouldn't expect the writers of "The Young and the Restless" to integrate what disgruntled viewers want to see, would you? Can you imagine a writer's meeting for ANY television show where somebody says, "You know, this one blogger wrote that our main character is too one-dimensional and that we should delve into his past to flesh out his character."? I sure can't. As long as their champs cause elicit pops and/or create controversy, they'll remain champs. All this Cena/Batista/Lashley hatred is merely fueling their pushes. Strong emotions fuel pushes; apathy kills them.
These strong emotions are not based on good heel heat...
this is: stop doing this shit and insulting our intelligence or we're going to stop watching.
The outcry is us begging for them to wake the fuck up.
I was on the whole fairly disappointed too. Despite my recent article, I too think Cena dropping the belt would be good (Just not to Umaga). However, I do have one bright point, going to WRESTLEMANIA I get to see one of my all-time favorites main event.
Also I too would like to see a Michaels/Taker rematch. To my knowledge, Michaels has always held the Undertaker's silver bullet. But they haven't fought in years (maybe since Michaels return) and it would be interesting to see these bonafide legends duke it out again (perhaps another hell in a cell)
Rumble '98 casket match is the last time I think they fought one-on-one.
I swear Cena made my ribs or ab or spleen or what the fuck ever hurt by no selling them last night.
And seriously what the hell was up with that announce team? King and JBL are both entertaining, but are color guys, and Michael Cole sure as hell isn't the play by play guy you want calling that thing.
Rumble blew balls.
I have to disagree with most of you guys. I think last night Rumble was a pretty good ppv. The ECW title and World title macthes were bad I admit but the MNM, Hardy Boys match was a good opener and I think the last man standing match was pretty good, one of Cena's better matches. The Rumble itself was good, maybe the best one since Benoit won it. HBK and Taker had one of the better finshers in Rumble history I think, it was great seeing them go at it by themselevs for several minutes.
I think Taker desevered to win since he was been with the company for years now and has never won it. Now he gets to headline WM 23, now that match could be bad, Taker vs. Batista, they better make it some gimmick match.
The question is now who will Cena face, HBK ? Edge ? Orton ? Maybe a three or four way. Anyway it goes I see Triple H winning the WWE title when comes back anyways.
I've said this several times now, somebody just needs to get it off Cena. Or the newly christened Vanilla Steam Stealla. I too see H winning it upon his return. I also see maybe a double or triple triple-threat headline for Mania. Taker vs. Batista needs help. Cena needs help. Black Lesnar and Test and Holly all need help, and hey Van Dam is on his way out so...wait why am I talking about ECW? It does not exist.
I will disagree with anonymous and say that the LMS was not one of Cena's better matches. He completely forgot he was "hurt." He ran the ropes like a mad man, he lifted those "enormous" steel ring steps. Cena has had some good ones. The "I quit" against JBL, the TLC against Edge, even though he blew more spots than Monica Lewinski, it was still pretty good for his standards. His debut match against Angle in the Angle Invitational, but last nights LMS was not one of them.
a monica lewinkski reference? your material needs mad updated...
how about you say paris hilton? or trish stratus?
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