John F*cking Cena

Editor's Note: The following column was written by Scott Baron esq. Baron is a loyal O-ster who decided to contribute a very well written piece for your enjoyment and discussion.

Women love him. Smarks loathe him. And seemingly no wrestler can beat him. He is...John Cena.

The mere mention of his name alone can strike a note of discord throughout Tha O Show. At best, he is the F-U-ing, money-making, heir apparent. At worst, he is the single most regrettable champion in recent memory. And at all times, he has been controversial.

No discussion of the E would be complete without “The Prototype” saluting his way into the comments section. He is the eternal elephant in the room. Though as Cena himself has said (with a tone of unintended irony): “The Champ IS here.”

So in the spirit of “stirring the pot,” and acknowledging the biggest subject of conversation; I submit to you this my first, and likely last article, analyzing the current champion of "Raw": Jonathan Felix Anthony Cena Jr.

Like it or not, Cena is one of the most popular topics of conversation on Tha O Show. But why? How has one wrestler become so hated amongst a group of wrestling fans?

(Before you skip to the comments section, keep in mind these questions are rhetorical and only used to bridge the introduction and body of the article).

To understand this, one must look at Cena’s meteoric rise. John Cena debuted some five years ago under the gimmick of “that one guy… who sometimes hangs out with Billy Kidman”. Ironically, the future champion would arrive as a nobody, fighting most of his early matches as an underdog. To gain popularity he joined the likes of mid-carders: Mysterio, Edge and Billy Kidman as (prophetically) the future of wrestling.

After a possibly unintentionally popular Halloween skit with Stephanie McMahon, John Cena had changed gimmicks from “generic wrestler #1” to “subversive white rapper.” The gimmick caught on and before you could say “Word Life” and John was filling the role currently held by Mr. Ken Kennedy. Cena fought top draws like Undertaker and Brock Lesnar, all-the-while busting comedic gangsta raps on his opponents. Anyone remember these gems?

On Zach Gowan in Detroit:

We just saw Brock Lesnar break Zach Gowan's only good leg.
Zach should cut his losses and learn to walk on wooden pegs.
Everyone knew he was gonna get smoked like a joint.
Forget his handicap, Zach sucks ‘cause he's from Detroit.
The only time you people look good is at nighttime during a blackout.
This ain't Joe Louis Arena, it's the World's Biggest Crackhouse.
And please read between the lines, because I'm giving you the finger.
Detroit's got more white trash than Jerry Springer.
The best part about this city is that I'm leaving here tomorrow.
You think I suck? Well I know that you swallow!

On Brock Lesnar:

I’m untouchable, you can’t beat my ability.
I’m like a basic math problem Brock… you just can’t finish me
Tonight I teach Brock a lesson like Mr. Miyagi did.
But he's not Daniel LaRusso and this ain't the Karate Kid.
Yeah my pants are sagging, cause I've been working my ass off.
Tonight I'll put the 'wax on' to a kid that whacks off.

On Undertaker:

Yo, my practice is chiropractic. Dude I’ll break your back
So you’re a dead man? Well I’m a necrophiliac!

Rivalries with main powers like Lesnar, Guerrero and Undertaker elevated Cena’s game. His tag-line was hot. His throwback chain used as a weapon was a great tie in from gimmick to wrestling. The use of a rival team’s jersey was a new twist on a classic heel move. And his freestyle raps, omitting a final swear gave him an almost rebellious feel, similar in ways to Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Cena said it best himself, “I make it cool to root for the bad guy.” It’s true, John Cena had a smark following!

But what happened? How could a wrestler switch from smark favorite to embodiment of all that’s wrong in wrestling?

At this point, Cena had become a main-event player, splitting his matches with more experienced opponents, but not losing momentum. The fans wanted to see him win and he did.

WWE could not hide Cena’s popularity any longer…he was turning face. The fans wanted it and they got it. Still, contrary to popular belief, his early face turn was not the catalyst for his coming unpopularity. His gimmick was still the same. His “ground and pound” attack remained. He was still the John Cena we loved as a heel.

And soon Cena was rewarded for his popularity by winning his first singles belt: The US title (from The Big Show). Truly the world could not see him.

Cena was over (for a mid-card belt), but the wheels were already in motion for his inevitable World Title. 'The Doctor of Thuganomics' had begun two joint merchandizing ventures: a rap album and a feature-length film. PWI stated that Cena had become a corporate shill, and merchandizing machine. His raps had become watered down to appeal to wider audience (those who still support the champion today) and were eventually dropped all together. (Rumor has it that the popular raps were eliminated because their unpredictable nature made share-holders of the publicly traded WWE uneasy). Along with the raps, Cena also dropped his signature throwbacks, retro pump reeboks, steel chain and brass knuckles.

The edgy style, which took Cena to the limelight, was softened and changed to a more all-american gimmick to suit his new movie. Cena had, in essence, changed who he was to put over a commercial venture.

His wrestling was also toned down after winning the title. Watch Cena in 2003 to compare with today’s World Champion. His punches, clotheslines and shoulderblocks were all stiffer and better sold. Also gone were the Killswitch and Freestyle Fisherman Suplex. Unlike many on this board, I believe Cena can and HAS sold moves. I trust this too was watered down to appeal to a wider audience. His gritty, ground and pound attack was dropped in favor of a more neutral and generic punch/shoulderblock combination.

Perhaps the idea behind this was to soften his image more favorably for the younger and more feminine demographic. Today Cena fights heels whose finishers are thumbs to the neck and chops to the head. An All-American face appealing to more sensitive viewers cannot have harder punches and more brutal moves than the heels he faces.

Injuries he sustains are also being downplayed. Once again, I believe Cena has with him the capacity to sell injuries, as he had done in matches against Lesnar, Show and Undertaker. I believe this too was done for the benefit of his remaining fan-base. Sensitive fans tend to be more casual viewers. Since the E relies heavily on sales from Cena’s merchandise, some have likely calculated that keeping these viewers should be their number one goal.

What would be the easiest way of turning off these viewers? Seeing their hero/crush in either pain or parity booking. Without the initial grit of Cena’s moves, they appeared weak and limited. This caused some to question why he should be put over more versatile fighters such as Edge, Booker T, Christian, Jericho and RVD; any one of whom had toiled as midcarders longer than Cena had even been wrestling. The answer of course is simple --- merchandising.

Cena was no longer the scrapper working his way to the top. He wasn’t a wrestling fan who made it as champion. He wasn’t even the innovative and edgy white rapper we grew to love. Cena had become the wrestling embodiment of safe-playing corporate decision-making and limitless mass marketing. He was a superstar; a multimedia maven, and an inevitable winner (regardless of opponent). Worst of all, in the minds of many smarks, Cena had betrayed them. Through no fault of his own, Cena had committed the cardinal sin: he went soft; he changed who he was; he sold out.

But unlike many of you, I feel Cena has promise. I felt that when I saw him hitting protobombs and protoplexes in OVW. I felt that when I saw him debut against Kurt Angle. I felt that when he ran around with B2 and Red Dogg. I felt that when he won his first title. And I still feel that today.

Certainly he may not be “the showstopper” but neither was Shawn Michaels when he first started. I feel Cena improved greatly during his rivalry with Edge and I believe will continue to do so as other promising midcarders (Nitro, Carlito, Masters, Benjamin, etc.) are brought to the limelight on "Raw".

I’m not saluting the Marine, but I’m also not sniping at him constantly.

Well I’ve spoke my piece on The Marine, it’s open mic hour and time to shoot. Get it all out now, cause I’m tired as hell of hearing about how bad he is each week on "Raw". Word.

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