Bloodstock Lives Up To Its Name!

Last night, Big Daddy Donnie and I had the perverse, sick and twisted pleasure of not only attending but calling the action at Stranglehold Wrestling's Bloodstock event. Taking place at Toronto's legendary Opera House (shit, I've performed there a bunch of times!), this show was every bit as hardcore as it was advertised.

Steel chairs, barbed wire, kendo sticks, nails and the overwhelming star of foreign objects used on this night: flourescent tube lights were all utilized in the most extreme of ways. Wrestling fans got an early Hallowe'en treat from this Canadian indy fed as Bloodstock delivered exactly as it had promised.

In what can probably be referred to as the "greatest last minute replacement in history", WWE legend Jake "The Snake" Roberts (and not Howard Stern's Beetlejuice) made a special appearance! Marking out like I was ten years old again, I felt honoured to actually be calling a Jake "The Snake" match. Big Daddy (the play-by-play man and easily the real on-the-mic talent on this night) and I will be heard calling the action on the upcoming DVD release of Bloodstock. Info on its availability is on the way.

After cutting a promo praising the Toronto crowd and absolutely trashing his former company ("WWE stands for Worst Wrestling Ever"), Jake locked up with (perhaps) future legend Matt Burns. Young, athletic and well-built, Burns held his own against the legend, utilizing a number of takedown holds (read: rest spots, Jake is 51 for God's sake!) and overall had a decent bout. It was hard not to pop, however, when Jake caught Burns in his signature short clothesline and then of course, the move that should never be used as a set up and only as a finisher...the DDT!

While Jake's legendary status cannot be denied...the true star of the show was none other than Lufisto. Straight up and down, this is one bad-ass bitch! Easily possessing more balls than all of us O-sters combined (sorry guys, you gotta see her to believe her), this Iron Man champion and First Lady of Hardcore went through three...count 'em...THREE hardcore specialists in one night to become the winner of the King...yep, the King of the Death Match tournament. Without a doubt, Lufisto is officially the Queen of "O".

Some of the biggest O's of the night came during the finals of the tournament during her match with Necro Butcher...who is no stranger to wearing crimson masks and taking insanely gruesome bumps himself. At one point, with Butcher beaten down into the corner of the ring, Lufisto set up a number of tube lights across his face.

It must be stressed that these lights make a sensational smashing pop sound when destroyed and they explode brilliantly. Some of tonight's performers, who shall remain nameless, admitted that they would never agree to take one...ONE!...over the head. Lufisto, meanwhile ran across the barbed wire-roped ring and flew into Necro Butcher with a flying dropkick, a la Chris Sabin, to literally explode thousands of tiny glass shards into Butcher's face! OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

As if that...and the body slams on Opera House's hardwood floored stage, whips into the concrete walls and floors and chair shots weren't enough...the finish of the match came after Necro Butcher set up at least a dozen tube lights on two steel chairs, preparing to powerbomb the no more than 5'3" Lufisto (trust me, she's not to be underestimated!) through them! After a reversal and a German suplex through those very light sabre-like exploding poles, Lufisto defeated Necro Butcher and became Death Match tournament champion.

There is not a man or woman that can fuck with her. Period.

In other matches:
The Brown Hornet was victorious in the intergendered triple threat match involving Beef Wellington and the very sexy, beautiful and curvaceous (I still can't get over her!) Aurora. Complete with high-flying action (mainly on Hornet's part) and some comedy bits to lighten the otherwise sinister mood of the event (mainly on Beef's part), this was a great match.


Asylum defeated DJ Stardom in the night's opening bout which actually broke the ring!

Madman Pondo, another hardcore icon, defeated Sexxxy Eddy (and his "five pounds of cock meat") in his first match ever in Canada.

Lufisto defeated Juggulator in an O-full and bloody match.

Bloody Bill Skullion pinned Independent Soldier (formerly AWF's Squeegee Kid).

Necro Butcher put a beatdown on Quebec's king of hardcore, Viking. The welts left on Viking's chest were ridiculous!

O Show bredren, The Notorious T.I.D. defeated The Hammer.

Finally, big happy birthday shout out to "The People's Uncle" (and surprising Dan-e-o mark!) Ricky Johnson, who was in attendance. Ricky is a Toronto native and the proud uncle of The Rock.

Get Your Own! View Slideshow

Slideshow images courtesy of our friends Emmanuel Melo and OntarioIndyWrestling.com

Share |