Just Call Me Mark-e-o

You know what? I change my mind. I don't know what I was thinking. Looks like I'm the biggest mark, after all.

Last week, I wrote an article accusing "marks" of being dumb enough to choose a title OTHER than John Cena's to be up for grabs at Cyber Sunday. I accused "marks" of being lame enough to want John Cena to win another title at the upcoming "interactive" pay-per-view. My accusations, I now believe, make me the mark of all marks.

I really believe...as many of you do...that we, the fans, don't have a say in the matter.

Cyber Sunday is, perhaps, WWE's greatest marketing strategy. Surely, no one goes to WWE.com to vote and then log off. The "voting" concept simply encourages millions of people to check the various elements of the website out and hey...if the DX promos are working...buy something from WWEShop.com. This is Cyber Sunday's purpose. The pay-per-view, itself, is a work.

Last night's episode of "Raw" proved that to me.

Does anyone really believe that our votes legitimately meant anything last night?

Only a TRUE mark - in the negative sense of the word, of course...I mean we're ALL marks for this business - would want to see Jonathan Coachman wrestle in the main event. I'm sure we're all outnumbered by a combination of youngsters and slightly older idiots who make up the majority of WWE's audience. You know...people who would want to see Coachman get his ass kicked because he "deserves it". HOWEVER, it's obvious that the outcome of "Raw" - Coach winning the right to a beatdown - served WWE's storyline all too perfectly. They hire people to write the show...and last time I checked, I still haven't received a paycheck from Vince.

So here's what was written: Let the heel main eventers jump the babyface champ before the last match...they won't be in the match...save the big match for the big event. Coach loses to Cena, obviously. All men angrily eye each other in preparation for the PPV. End of the show.

In actually, wouldn't a wrestling fan with an ounce of common sense actually want to see a good wrestling match and not a squash? Then again, John Cena was in the main event so perhaps that's a moot point...but still.

In addition, I firmly beleive that WWE is not prepared to see any major title change hands this Sunday. So why would I - as I 'markedly' mentioned last week - NOT want...say Booker's title to be up for grabs this Sunday? If our king has to defend his title at the PPV, it will likely result in a King Booker victory (in all likelihood via a pin over The Big Show after John Cena does all of the "work").

The Big Show is generally off of the radar screen for most of WWE's audience. Not just because he's the ECW Champion, but because he's never been anything more than mildly interesting throughout his career. We get it...he's over 500 lbs and about 7 feet tall, yadda, yadda, yadda. So I doubt that the ECW title will be "voted" as the one on the line at Cyber Sunday.

That leaves my favourite wrestler of all time (the weight of my sarcasm would make The Big Show look like Little Bastard) John Cena's WWE Championship as the logical choice to NOT vote for. Doing so would only result in yet another John Cena win.

This is what WWE would probably want IF his title was up for grabs...but if they follow the pattern displayed at last night's "Raw"...that the "votes" are controlled by a nation of marks...there is no way the WWE title will be defended this Sunday.

So vote all you want fans, I doubt it will make a difference at all. I actually hope Booker's title is chosen (in fact, that's my prediction) so that the King can win the match.

What a mark I am for thinking I actually had the ability to maybe...just maybe, get that title off of John Cena. In the words of Ron Simmons...DAMN!

Share |