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9.02.2006

3 Words: King Booker Rules!

Please. Please! Please!! OH PLEASE...let King Booker keep his World Championship! Oh, I implore thee, mighty Gods of WWE. Oh, I humbly request, oh regal writers of "SmackDown!", I graciously beg, on behalf of Tha "O" Show and all of its loyal O-sters...please allow our King, our royal champion of champions...King Booker to retain his title after facing Batista on "SmackDown!" next week.

Any half-brained, red-blooded, semi-conscious wrestling fan HAD to be entertained by King Booker's on-the-mic performance at the end of this week's "SmackDown!". Is there anyone out there who actually, honestly, truly, really wants Batista to defeat King Booker for the gold?!?!

Before Booker even began his promo, JBL predicted "this will be good". Did he ever call it.

Never has Batista looked so out-classed. Never has Batista looked so boring. So inadequate. So out of place. I wonder if Book even got any heat for making Batista look so bad. Seriously. King Booker's mic work was nothing short of brilliant. Hilarious. Flawless. All of the above.

Some of my favourite highlights (and there were many in this less than ten minute promo):

-Booker calling Teddy Long "Thadeus"
-insisting that the call for the rematch was a "sham" (pronounced "shawm" - to rhyme with "palm")
-I just have to quote this whole section: "It is a farce (pronounced "foss") that a ruler as wise and mighty as I should even breathe the same air as this scoundrel, not to speak of, have to wrestle, but I will...once I (defeat Batista) all of my loyal subjects will rejoice on high"
-interrupting Batista's brutal "comeback" by calling him a "treasonous peasant" whose head he will hand him on a platter ("plah-tah!")
-arrogantly signing the contract for the rematch, holding it out for Batista to grab and then dropping it on the table before Batista got the chance

Priceless.

THAT my friends, is how you work a gimmick!

Not long ago, we at Tha "O" Show were discussing who the greatest mic workers and promo cutters in WWE history were. I think King Booker is making quite a royal case for making the all time list.

I truly hope that King Booker's reign as champion is a long one. There is no one more entertaining on "SmackDown!" right now. I don't care if he cheats to retain the belt in every title defence he has. It, in fact, would only strenghten his character. Nothing like a heel who can't win fairly but brags about his dominance incessantly. King Booker has pulled off his new character, I'm sure, better than anyone could have expected.

Please "SmackDown!" writers! Do justice on to us all and graciously grant us more royal weeks, more blessed months of having King Booker as champion. We implore you to do what is right. Batista is truly but a peasant. His inability, to do anything even merely entertaining ("One thing you're gonna have to get through your pompous, thick, inflated, fat head..." - hardy, har, har buddy) was never more apparent than this week.

All Hail King Booker! (times a thousand).


4 comments: on "3 Words: King Booker Rules!"

Big Daddy Donnie said...

I don't think King Booooka will ever make the all time list of guys on the mic but he IS entertaining the hell out of me.

The crown is the best thing to ever happen to him.

As it is, Batista is big, clumsy and boring. Contrasted against King Booooka he looks even worse.

If you're over the age of 10 and you're not a chick, I don't get why you'd be cheering for Batista.

Hell, even if you are a chick... do you really wanna cheer for some jacked up juice monkey pushing 40 that ditched his wife to hook up with a diva search contestant?

A royal role model like King Boooka takes his Queen and her Sharmellons everywhere he goes!

ALL HAIL KING BOOKER!

Anonymous said...

Since I have nothing new to add beyond what was already said, I will keep this brief.











ALL HAIL KING BOOKER
ALL HAIL SHARMELLONS

Anonymous said...

Rack King Booker!

As for Cena possibly going to SmackDown!, they already a John Cena on SmackDown!.

His name is Dave Batista.

tsiakhyie said...

priceless JBL comment: "and the genetic freaks win!!" (after lashley and batista win over the Royal Court.