Here's the best line from last night's edition of "Raw" a la Terry Funk to Mick Foley: "I know the reason why you humiliated Tommy Dreamer. I know that reason. You humiliated him...and I wanna know why Mick? Why did you humiliate him? Tell me."HUH?!?
Perhaps the dumbest words spoken in "Raw" history, Terry Funk's misguided speech is the embodiment of WWE programming lately: it makes no sense! Perhaps this has been my reason for the one month hiatus I unexpectedly took from Tha "O" Show. WWE is starting to get really stupid.
No disrespect to the legendary Terry Funk, but his depleted mic skills and 50-plus-year-oldness were more than evident last night. Again, like WWE programming itself, Funk is getting too old for this business. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not turning to the Darkside (a la our fellow "O" Show comrade who'd rather watch an episode of "Friends" than "Raw" or "SmackDown!"), but damn...defending wrestling to the non-wrestling fan these days is getting more and more difficult.
The last article I wrote for Tha "O" Show (a month ago) discussed the O's and NO's of a a particular "Raw" episode. Not one to commonly bash wrestling, I decided to stay true to the "O" concept of this website and only write about what makes wrestling great...a month later, I still find it hard to come up with something good to write about. It's been a month of extreme NO-ness and I don't know when it's gonna end!
As previously mentioned, I've been 'defending' wrestling a lot lately. Here's my number one comeback to morons who diss wrestling because it's 'fake': "Do you like watching movies? Cuz if the answer is 'yes' then you can admit to finding fiction entertaining". HOWEVER, fictional entertainment is successful when you allow your audience to suspend their belief. Good wrestling programming involves believable storylines that are accompanied by high-paced action. But for anyone tuning into WWE programming lately, it's hard to find anything worth suspending your belief for.
How damn stupid is the May 19th angle? Damn it, I KNOW Kane's movie is coming out this week...WWE has been promoting it WAAAAY too much for me to NOT know this. But to have the star of the movie go crazy everytime he hears his OWN voice proclaiming the movie's release date is simply retarded.
While I'm at, here's a list of what else sucks in WWE right now:
1) John Cena as champ - even though he gets booed, a clear message that fans have grown tired of his limited in-ring talent and played-out character, the WWE's champion is still someone who uses the '5-knuckle Shuffle' as part of his arsenal. Jeez!
2) Having to watch an Umaga VS. some nobody every week...hmmm, I wonder who's gonna win this one? Last night, his opponent was some cross-eyed dude...seriously.
3) No real tag-team division...yeah, like Snitsky and Goldust have done anything as a tag-team to earn themselves a title shot as they did last night. You know what SOME competitors have to do to earn a certain title shot?...sometimes it's winning a "Money In The Bank" match at the company's greatest PPV of the year...othertimes, it's not having any other damn direction to go in so maybe you're due for a belt!?!?!.
4) Rey Rey being destroyed by garbage every week on "SmackDown!" Yes, I KNOW he's an 'underdog champion'. You needed squashes by Mark Henry and The Great Khali to prove that? Great main events.
And while I'm at it, here's a quick question:
Why does Triple H have two entrance themes?
Anyway, here's hoping I actually pop for something again soon....or else we'll have to rename this website Tha "NO" Show.
2 comments: on "Raw Is Snore!"
Yeah, there's a lot on Raw to be desired, and if they would freaking learn to use Rey right, maybe he'd actually be able to have a couple of months in the sun as a champ on Smackdown.
Still, I got some things I have gotten excited for..but the Funk/Cactus thing wasn't great. I think it's pretty dumb of a reason for Foley to be up in arms about fans chanting ECW during his match with Edge..when the fans have been doing that for years during any hardcore match, extreme spot match, or if a former ECW performer is in the match. Why has he not been pissed before?
I'm tired of freaking John Cena, but I like the fact that Trips doesn't have the belt. I'd rather see Edge with the strap again..give him a couple of months and see what you can do with it.
What killed me the most about this past weeks Raw was the Kane movie stuff. I mean, they played the same damn feature story twice? Why? And speaking of Kane..if you want to promote it, shouldn't you have him in somekind of match?
The sad thing is, the Spirit Squad is actually starting to grow on me because of what Ken Doane and Johnny Jeter can do in the ring. Mike Mondo's funny too...still, I can't stand their damn music or look and hope creative writes some kind of storyline about how they lost their cheerleading scholarships due to hazing or something (Hey, yeah it's dumb as hell, but seriously, that sounds like something WWE creative would come up with).
If they want to really make something out of Umaga, they need to have him squash someone of value again. Quick, take Randy Orton off of suspension for one match.
-Misery
I agree.
Colt rocks.
Umaga sucks.
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