I Taped Out! I Taped Out! (Tha "O" Show's first-ever double article!)

Approximately 90% of the time that I watch wrestling, it's on tape. I'm almost never around to catch either "Raw" or "SmackDown!" when their broadcasts air so I set up a tape so I can check 'em out when I have time. A couple of times over the past couple of weeks, I caught the broadcasts of each show during the time they aired and therefore, didn't have to tape them. What a HUGE difference it made! Between all of the promos, movie trailers, commercials and other WWE-approved wastes of time, the non-taped wrestling shows, I find, are super hard to watch!

Ever notice how few wrestling matches occur within the two hour span when we're "watching" wrestling? Last night's "SmackDown!" had five.

If you're anything like me, you can't stand commercials (unless you're acting in 'em) and other repetitive but seemingly mandatory crap like the Judgment Day Encore ads, the See No Evil movie trailers, "Raw" Rebounds and the "Hey Canada, we'll be in your city for a live event soon" promos. Last night's "SmackDown!" contained 39 minutes of this stuff.

That left 81 minutes for WWE to dedicate to "wrestling". Of that 81 minutes, 59 minutes of the broadcast was spent on actual wrestling matches. This, by the way, included the entrances of each superstar (including last night's unnecessary appearance by Three 6 Mafia to perform Mark Henry's entrance theme live - on a side note, why weren't these guys at the pay-per-view instead of on "SmackDown!"?...on a side-side note, why were Three 6 Mafia performing at all? Henry's a heel! On a triple side note, why does anyone even like Three 6 Mafia???). Sorry...I digress.

So, out of a two hour wrestling show, less than half of it involved wrestling matches. Here's how brutal it got at times: (NOTE: "SmackDown!" airs between 8:00pm and 10:00pm every Thursday night on The Score in Canada).

Between 8:47 and 9:25, there was no wrestling at all! That's a span of 38 minutes! This span of time included 17 minutes of commercials (including the "Raw" Rebound and other WWE drivel) and Booker T's Coronation Ceremony. (...to be continued).

On a quadruple side note, let me squeeze in a mini-article within this article here. It's entitled, "All Hail King Booker!". (Hey if Biggie, Nas and Jay-Z can all release double albums, the least I can do is drop a double "O" Show article!!).

I've been saying for weeks that no one is more entertaining on "SmackDown!" than Booker T. Since joining WWE, Booker has not been given the opportunity to shine as brightly as he did in WCW - Did you know he was champion five times over there??? He's not only a talented in-ring performer but is gold on the stick. In addition, he roles with the illest female in wrestling.

Sharmell, is easily the best female promo-cutter in the business. Maybe, that's not saying much since nearly no WWE Diva can do a thing on the mic...but Sharmell is truly talented. I love her. She never fumbles a line, she's boisterous and enthusiastic. And dammit, she's got the best damn booty in WWE! Titties is bangin' too, straight up. Either way, hats off to WWE for putting the title of "King of the Ring" on someone entertaining. I don't know what a King Lashley promo would sound like and I'm glad I'll never know. I look forward to Booker talking all kinds of smack about his majestic status and the lowliness of all of his subjects for weeks to come. Long Live King Booker!

(...back to our regularly scheduled article...)
SO how do I know the precise time allotments for all of last night's segments on "SmackDown!"?? Because I taped it! And thankfully, was able to fast forward through all of the junk. This is why watching either "Raw" or "SmackDown!" while they actually air is so brutal! You can flip stations during commercial and promo breaks, watch the Edmonton Oilers score two goals, see Doc Halladay strike out the side (or Josh Towers give up a two-run double depending on what day of the week it is) and still come back to your favourite wrestling show with time to spare before the next match. It's crazy!

Big Daddy encouraged me to mention that the state of WWE's programming will have no choice but to improve over the next couple of years as technology continues to vastly update. The advent of such media as Tivo and Digital TV that allow viewers to rewind and pause live television may force WWE's hand in actually providing fans with more than an hour of wrestling in a two hour show. I don't know about you, but right now, without my VCR, I think I'd be less of a wrestling fan.

By the way, on one final note, for my good buddy, Big Daddy Donnie a.k.a. The World's Biggest JBL Mark a.k.a. The Guy Who Actually Believes JBL is a Wrestling God...you do realize your boy lost TWICE last night! Now that deserves an "O"!

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